I made it as far as a secluded nook in the library before I broke down. I had no best friend, shadows stalking me, Tracker powers I didn’t understand, and no idea what the next day, or even the next minute, would bring. It was a lot to internalize. After a solid ugly-cry, I wiped the mascara from under my eyes, blew my nose, and stared out the windows at the snow-capped mountains. The giant, white-washed “W” for Western State was invisible, covered by the fresh snow.
“The mountains remind me of you.” I felt his warm hand on my shoulder and closed my eyes, reveling in the peace. I didn’t get many opportunities.
“They remind me of you, too.” For the rest of this life, I’d always associate the mountains with Alex because that’s where he’d re-introduced himself to me after two hundred and fifty years.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded. Sometimes I forget Alex can see me through his magic ring. He says he doesn’t watch me often, but I know he checks in. He must have been checking in when I was getting yelled at. I hoped he hadn’t also witnessed my ugly-cry.
“I will be. I just need to figure out what to do, and how to handle things with Jas.”
Alex crouched down next to me, one hand on my thigh, the other rubbing my arm in soothing circular motions. He wore dark jeans and a black ski jacket. He smelled like wet cedar, and his deep brown hair was damp like he’d just gotten out of the shower. I wondered where he’d been. The gym, maybe? The thought of Alex lifting heavy things was almost enough to improve my mood. He looked up at me, his emerald eyes soft with concern. “Why have you been avoiding her?”
My brow fell as I pushed the corners of my lips down. “Why do you think?” I said, picking at a string on my sweater. “It’s not like I can tell her what’s going on, and she’d know if I lied. Unless you want me telling her about the Amaranthine and Daevos, it’s easier to say I’m busy.”
Alex leaned back, studying me. “It might be easier, but I don’t know that it’s better for your mental health.”
I widened my eyes. “You want me to tell her what’s happening? Who I am? Who you and Emil are?”
Alex bit his lip, shaking his head slowly. “Not if you can help it, but you need friends, Evie. You need people to relate to and have fun with. You’re taking on too much. You need to give your mind a break from this paranormal insanity once in a while. Jasmine used to be your release-valve. She was the person you went to when you needed to talk, vent, or relieve stress. You’ve made it so she’s not that person anymore. You’re internalizing everything and talking to no one.” He squeezed my arm. “You at least need to talk about your problems with me and Emil.”
I snorted. “Yeah, because you’d both love listening to me discuss my relationships with the two of you.”
Alex lifted a shoulder. “Actually, I would. I’d like to know what’s going on in your head. You’ve cut me and Emil off from any romantic involvement with you. From my own experience and what Emil has said, I know you’re not talking to either one of us about how you feel. And we’re not spending time alone with you either. So if there’s something you want to discuss,” he gestured for me to go on, “please, do.”
I looked at him from under my brow and slightly shook my head.
“I’m serious,” he said. “Talk.”
He had no idea what he was asking for. I thought the best way to explain it would be an illustration, even if it wasn’t kind. I lifted my voice in falsetto, “Kissing Emil was amazing, but so was kissing Alex! And I wish I knew how our past lives fit into everything. Maybe if I could remember the past, it would help me choose, because I can’t just take Alex and Emil’s word for what happened.” High sigh. “How will I ever decide between them?”
Alex thinned his eyes, his hands knotting slowly into fists. He forced himself to release them as he exhaled. “Point taken.”
I nodded once.
He watched me for a minute longer, seemingly lost in thought. I looked at my watch. “It’s almost time for my next class.” I stood and started to walk away. Alex stepped in front of me, reaching his hands up to cup my cheeks.
“Being part of this life, and knowing the things you do, can sometimes feel like a burden; but we’ll figure this out. I promise.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead, his lips a soft press against my skin.
I closed my eyes again, and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. I hoped we would, but at this point, I wasn’t sure.
I left Alex, and on my way to class, I noticed a long line at the nurse’s office. I heard some girls walking in front of me say, “They must be giving out free drugs.”
That seemed a likely explanation to me. I’d like some too. Preferably the kind that make you happy. I was having a hard time managing it on my own.
Later that night, I was in my room emailing my mom when I heard a knock at the front door. I opened it to find Alex holding a pizza box, and Emil cradling a two-liter bottle of lemonade—the pink kind, which I liked even more than yellow. “Can we come in?” Alex asked.
I took them both in from head to toe. Emil smiled, his eyes sparkling with his usual charm. His baby blue sweater with black stripes brightened the greyish-blue of his eyes. His sandy blonde hair was messy, like he’d recently rolled out of bed. That thought was distracting. A distressed black leather belt with a wide, square silver buckle held up faded jeans hugging his waist and thighs in all the right places.
Alex’s emerald eyes pierced me, seducing. His dark hair sat on the edge between brown and black and was cut short, though it was longer on top, styled so his slightly natural curl gave his hair texture. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a long, ribbed white thermal shirt. With how tight his shirt was, he might as well have been wearing nothing. I had a hard time convincing myself not to blatantly ogle his biceps and pecs.
I looked at them, my eyes drawn together in suspicion. Even though their friendship was better than it had been a few months ago, it wasn’t like they went on man-dates or anything. As far as I knew, they rarely spent time together unless I was involved. What were they up to? “I guess,” I answered carefully, opening the door wider.
I watched them walk in and put the food on the dining room table next to my fresh sterling roses. The sweet floral scent perfumed the entire house. I’d become so used to Emil’s gift of constant fresh roses over the last few months that I usually only noticed the smell when I’d been out of the room for a while. Emil noticed me notice, and smiled wider.
I went to the kitchen for plates and glasses. When I came back, we all sat at the table, passing the food around. I looked at Alex, then across from him at Emil. I was at the head of the table. Even eating dinner, I made the last segment of our little triangle. It was weird to think about us as one happy family. Okay, family wasn’t the right word, but we were a cluster of people working toward the same goal: keeping me alive.
I didn’t eat right away. I was more concerned with ascertaining the reason for their drop-in. “So, what’s with the visit tonight, guys?” I waved my hand between the two of them. “Your spying is usually more stealthy than this.” The fact they’d brought my favorite pizza—cheese, black olives, and green peppers with extra sauce—hadn’t escaped my notice. And the lemonade was pink. They had an agenda.
Emil looked at Alex. Alex took the lead. “We want to talk to you.”
I turned my head slightly so I could easily shift my eyes between them. “Okay. What about?”
Alex folded his arms on the table, leaning forward. “Evie, we think it’s time for you to date.”
I laughed. Outright, no-holds-barred, laughter. And it felt really good! I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. Alex and Emil shared a glance. They’d been prepared for this reaction. “Why on earth would I do that? I have more than enough to handle with the two of you. I don’t need to add other guys on top of this mess.”
Alex shook his head. “No, not date other people. We want you to date us.”
My eyes went huge with surprise. For a moment, I was s
tunned. “I know we have this weird triangle thing going on, but I’m not the least bit interested in multiple boyfriends, or polyandry. I can barely handle one of you, let alone two.”
Emil’s mouth cracked into a smile. “We want you to date each of us separately. You won’t be exclusive with either one of us until you’re ready to take that step and choose.”
My mouth fell open. I had no words for at least thirty seconds. That gave me enough time to gather my thoughts and think of plenty to say. “Let me get this straight,” I said, scooting back in my chair so I had something to hold me up in case my spine decided to compress—which was a distinct possibility. “You want me to start going on dates with you both again, but you don’t want me to choose between you yet?”
“Yes,” Alex said.
Emil nodded.
I glanced back and forth between them, wondering if this was some sort of practical joke. “You realize a few months ago when our relationships were—” I paused, struggling for an adequate description, “—undefined, you both had testosterone-fueled fits and wanted to kill each other?”
“That’s not really fair, Evie,” Alex admonished.
“Are you kidding?” I asked, incredulous. “That first night at the sand dunes, I was scared to leave you in your tents. I thought for sure I’d wake up and find one of you mortally wounded.”
Emil grinned. “But now you know we’re immortal. Problem solved.”
Alex took a deep breath. “We were still establishing ground rules then.”
“Yeah,” Emil agreed. “I wouldn’t have killed him. Fought him, yes, but killing is a little extreme. Plus, I don’t want to win by default. You made the right decision two hundred and fifty years ago. I want you to choose me again, just like you chose me before.”
I could hear Alex grinding his teeth together without even having to look at him. “The point is, you need to date us. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to choose between us.”
My eyes tracked back and forth between them. I couldn’t argue with their logic. I’d been thinking the same thing. But it didn’t seem fair to date them both with no guarantee of commitment. “I’m not ready to make a decision, so there’s no point.”
“That’s the whole point,” Alex said. “You’ll never be ready if you don’t spend time with us.” He paused. “Quality time. Alone time. On actual dates.”
I leaned back in my chair, my arms falling to my lap as I tried to figure out how to address their suggestion. “Look, I know you two have been waiting a long time for me to make this choice, and I admire your patience, I really do. But it hasn’t been a long time for me. You haven’t even been back in my life for a year. And I’m only eighteen! I know you want an answer, and someday I think I’ll be able to give it to you, but I don’t want to be pushed into a relationship because you want to know now.”
“We’re not trying to push you,” Alex said. “And we’re not even asking for a relationship. Eventually, you will be ready to choose, and when you are, we want to make sure you’re prepared with as much information as possible to make the decision you feel is right. There are no hidden agendas.”
I watched them carefully and decided to throw out a thought I’d had recently, “Has anyone stopped to think that we’re all soul mates?” It was a working theory. I hadn’t ironed out all the details. “Maybe our soul was split three ways somehow? There has to be a fix for that. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about all this stupid choosing.”
“No,” Alex answered immediately. “That is not what happened.”
“I would have to agree with Alex,” Emil said. “I have no romantic feelings for him at all.”
“Likewise,” Alex said, his tone even.
I rolled my eyes. “That’s not how I meant it. Seriously, could that be the answer?”
Alex shook his head. “No. I’ve talked to the Amaranthine about that possibility.”
“I’ve investigated it, too,” Emil said.
I often wondered what Alex and Emil did when they weren’t with me. It seemed like their hobbies involved a lot of research.
Alex nodded. “I had a Tracker look into it as well. Emil and I have absolutely no connection to each other. If our souls had split three ways, there would be some sort of bond. So that’s not it.”
“But bonds can be hidden.” My orchid bracelet hid my bond with Alex, and Emil said my bond with him couldn’t be tracked.
“Not unless steps are taken to hide it,” Alex said. “There’s no bond between me and Emil.”
I looked to Emil for confirmation. He lifted a shoulder. I still wasn’t convinced. Maybe Alex and Emil’s bond had just been severed, like Caleb severed my bonds to them both when he abducted me. But until I had more evidence, I wouldn’t push it. “If one of you isn’t my soul mate, then what are the other options?” My eyes trailed from Alex to Emil. “Why do I have such a strong bond with both of you?”
Alex’s expression tightened slightly. “That’s what we’re trying to find out.”
I eyed them both, accepting their rationalizations, at least for the moment. Really, no one knew what was going on with me. I felt like it was a bad idea to dismiss any possibilities at this point.
“This is the best solution we could come up with, Evie,” said Emil.
I watched them for at least a minute. I was still dubious, but they both seemed genuine. Furthermore, they’d come to an accord about this which meant they’d discussed it away from me, civilly, without murdering each other. “How did you two manage to agree on this?”
“We discussed it during training,” Alex said, taking a drink.
I stared. “What training?”
“Boxing,” Emil answered.
Ah, so they hadn’t killed each other, but they’d tried.
“And this was the plan you came up with?” I asked, still a little shocked they’d been spending time together voluntarily.
“We can do this, Evie,” Emil said. “Give it a chance.”
I picked up my pizza and took a bite, considering. I chewed slowly, and took another bite, my eyes shifting between the two of them. Finally I said, “I’ll think about it.”
Alex smiled and Emil grinned. They gave each other a congratulatory look. “I told you the pizza would soften her up,” Alex said.
“I was ready to get the chocolate pie out of the car if it didn’t,” Emil answered, the two of them joking almost like friends. It amazed me how different their relationship was now than it had been a few months ago. It was nice not to have the constant threat of violence and fist fights hanging over our heads. Though I wondered how long the pleasantries would last if I was dating them both again.
“How will this work?” I asked, sure they already had a plan in place.
“We take turns,” Alex said. “For every date one of us gets, the other one gets a date too.”
I frowned, not liking that I didn’t have a say in any of it. “What if I don’t want to go out with either of you? Or if I want two dates in a row with one of you?”
“You get veto power,” Emil said. “If you want two dates in a row with Alex, it’s your choice. If you want five dates in a row with me, that would make more sense, and would be your choice, too.” His lips lifted while Alex glared from across the table.
I really had my doubts about this being a successful arrangement. “So is there some sort of date timeline?”
Alex shook his head. “No. It’s totally up to you. But unless you say otherwise, the rule will be that if you have a date with me, I can’t go out with you again until you have a date with Emil, and vice versa.”
I nodded, thinking that sounded fair. Well, as fair as the situation could be. I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes, agreeing to share the person I thought was my soul mate with someone else.
“When do we start?”
“Whenever you’re done thinking about it,” Alex answered.
I looked at my now empty plate. The pie just might convince me.
Emil was loungin
g in a chair at the end of the hall, reading, as I came out of English, a class I also had with Hutch. I waved at Emil. His lips lifted in a sexy smile as he nodded in my direction. Hutch looked from me, to Emil, and back to me again. “Can I ask you a question?” he asked.
“Sure.”
“Is that your boyfriend?” He tilted his head in Emil’s direction.
I gave a high-pitched, surprised laugh. I wished I could explain my relationships with Alex and Emil that easily. The real answer would be: not-right-now-but-maybe-someday-and-maybe-not-this-life. That seemed complicated to explain, however. “Nope,” I answered. “Just a friend.”
Hutch glanced at Emil. “I’ve seen him with you a lot. He seems pretty into you. I don’t want to step over a line here, but I’d say he wants to be more than a friend.”
I smiled, trying to downplay Hutch’s accurate assumptions. “It’s complicated.”
He nodded. “I bet.”
Vicki came around the corner, smiling wide at Hutch. He returned her smile and I decided if Las Vegas ever ran out of electricity, Hutch and Vicki could power it with happiness. They mentioned getting lunch again, but I didn’t want to be a third-wheel. I told them I had to study, but we’d get together another time. They nodded and took off, hands entwined.
I met Emil at the end of the hall. He was sitting in front of a wall of windows that framed the mountains perfectly, his legs stretched out in front of him, arms behind his head. He smiled up at me. “How was class?”
I shrugged. “Same as usual. I have a research paper I need to work on.”
Emil nodded. “I hope you’re not busy this weekend.”
I wrinkled my brow. “Why?”
“You have plans.”
The crease in my forehead deepened. “I do?”
He nodded his head once. “Uh huh.”
“With you?”
“Yep.”
I grinned and shook my head. “I don’t think I ever actually agreed to the new dating policy.”
Eternal Echoes, Emblem of Eternity Trilogy Book 2 Page 3
