The Utterly Indescribable Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls

by Adam Cece

  Copernicus looked at the machine. ‘I hope you don’t want me to get inside that thing.’

  Lemonade smiled. ‘Yes, I do, and then we’ll get you a good disguise,’ she explained.

  Copernicus spluttered. ‘What sort of disguise?’

  ‘Well,’ Lemonade said carefully, ‘I have a friend—well, not really a friend, more an acquaintance, who turns people into things. I think she’s been doing a lot of goat transformations this week.’

  ‘A goat,’ Copernicus spluttered again. He seemed to do a lot of spluttering when he was surprised.

  ‘It’s not so bad,’ Lemonade said. ‘In fact, you have quite good facial features for a goat. You’d actually be a good-looking goat, I reckon.’

  ‘I don’t want to be a goat, good-looking or otherwise,’ Copernicus argued.

  ‘Like I said, it’s not so bad,’ Lemonade replied, climbing up onto the machine and lowering herself into the cockpit. ‘I mean, I’ve never tried it, but I assume it’s not so bad. Besides, what have you got left to do here? You’re old, you’ve finished your life’s work. No offence, but your life here is over.’

  Copernicus spluttered so much a small puddle of splutter formed on the ground at his feet. ‘I’m still not sure this is a good idea.’

  Lemonade sighed. ‘And, you’ll get the chance to discover the real centre of the universe.’

  Copernicus frowned, as if he was weighing up whether there might be another theory he could investigate.

  ‘I’m offering you the opportunity to see the future,’ Lemonade said. ‘And did I mention there’s free popcorn on the trip?’

  Copernicus frowned. ‘What’s popcorn? It sounds dangerous.’

  ‘Trust me, it’s the very best thing about the future. That and beanbags,’ Lemonade said.

  Copernicus contemplated the girl’s incredible machine and the strange round glasses she had given him. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘my life has been about discovery. Time to discover the future, I guess.’

  ‘By the way,’ Lemonade said. ‘I’m going to have to teach you to speak another language on the way. Nobody speaks Latin in the future.’

  Copernicus climbed up into the cockpit of the machine with Lemonade. He was super impressed with all the instruments and other fantastical objects. ‘What is this?’ he asked, pointing.

  ‘That,’ Lemonade said, ‘is a cup holder.’

  Copernicus whistled. ‘Amazing. And what’s this green thing? And this golden clip thing?’

  ‘That green thing is a bird caller,’ Lemonade explained. ‘It makes a noise like a duck, which is going to come in handy. And the clip thing is a solid-gold clothes peg. Don’t lose that, we’re going to need it.’

  Copernicus shook his head. ‘And what are these small cards and these large sheets of paper.’ He picked one up. ‘What is a “House of Spooks”?’

  Lemonade laughed. ‘Oh, that’s right. The big bit of paper is a flyer for the opening of the House of Spooks. And remind me I have to put that business card in Kipp Kindle’s letterbox back in the first Huggabie Falls adventure.’

  If Copernicus was confused before, he was even more confused now. ‘Who is Kipp Kindle? What are any of these things for? I still don’t understand what’s going on.’

  Lemonade faced forward again. ‘What’s going on is we have to help save Huggabie Falls from a trilogy of devastating events. One day in the future an author will write books about these events, and he’ll probably give all the credit to Kipp Kindle and his friends Tobias Treachery and Cymphany Chan, and I’ll just be a minor character, mentioned a couple of times.’ She pulled her gloves tight and adjusted the velcro straps. ‘I’ll have to visit this author and set the record straight.’

  It suddenly occurs to me that Lemonade, who I can only assume is Lemonade Limmer, the classmate of Kipp, Tobias and Cymphany’s, is talking about me. Which makes me wonder if I’ve locked the door of my office.

  Lemonade Limmer started the engine of the time machine.

  ‘Hey,’ Copernicus said, ‘that sort of sounds like the noise I was making bef—’ he stopped talking when he saw Lemonade smirking at him. ‘Errr…what I meant to say,’ Copernicus corrected himself, ‘is like the noise I’ve never made before, because like I said, I was just checking the fish in my pond.’

  Lemonade Limmer chuckled. ‘I believe you, Copernicus.’

  Lemonade adjusted some dials and the machine started to whir with the most tremendous noise. ‘Hold on, Copernicus,’ she shouted. ‘The adventure is just beginning.’

  After Kipp, Tobias and Cymphany had foiled Al Dark’s plans by reminding the former Huggabie Falls residents that Huggabie Falls was the greatest town on Earth, there was a very long queue of people waiting to board submarines back to Huggabie Falls, so Copernicus drove Kipp, Tobias and Cymphany in the Kindle family’s car. He dropped them at the corner of Digmont Drive and Digmont Drive.

  ‘What are you going to do now, Copernicus?’ Kipp asked, as he climbed out of the car.

  ‘Actually,’ said Copernicus, ‘I’ve been thinking of moving to Near Huggabie Falls.’

  ‘But why would you want to do that?’ Cymphany asked.

  Copernicus shrugged. ‘I’m working on a new theory: that Near Huggabie Falls is the centre of the universe.’

  Tobias, Kipp and Cymphany looked amazed. ‘But,’ Tobias said, ‘you told us Huggabie Falls is the centre of the universe.’

  ‘Yes,’ Copernicus said. ‘Slight miscalculation, I think. Carry the one, and all that. It’s hard to work out the centre of the universe. It’s not like it’s labelled or anything. Now, I’m pretty sure Near Huggabie Falls is, give or take a few metres, the centre.’

  ‘But Near Huggabie Falls is just a pile of rubble now,’ Kipp said. ‘How can a pile of rubble be the centre of the universe?’

  Copernicus winked. ‘My, my, my, it really is getting late. I’d better be off. Well done, children.’

  And off he drove. Leaving Kipp, Tobias and Cymphany with confused expressions. Especially Kipp, who said, ‘Wait a second. Where is he going? That’s my family’s car!’

  They began to walk down Digmont Drive towards Kipp’s house. Kipp was excited to tell his family about the temporary invisibility cure, but less excited to tell them that Copernicus had driven off in the family car.

  ‘So, I guess the three of us have saved Huggabie Falls three times now,’ Tobias said.

  Cymphany patted her satchel. ‘And I got my satchel back.’

  Tobias laughed. ‘That satchel is the most important thing in the world to you.’

  Cymphany stopped and shook her head. ‘No, I love my satchel and it’s very handy, but you guys are the most important thing in the world to me. My very first and best friends ever.’

  Tobias smiled. ‘I agree, and, actually, I think you two are the reason I’m the only person in my family who isn’t treacherous.’

  Kipp nodded. ‘And I was always so worried about turning invisible, because I thought people would just forget about me, but as long as I have you as my friends, I’ll never be forgotten.’

  ‘I think we’ve all learned that we can overcome anything, if we tackle it together,’ Cymphany said.

  ‘And if we can’t,’ Kipp grinned, ‘I’ve got Mother Dark’s phone number.’

  Cymphany jiggled her satchel. ‘And I’ll always have something in here that can help us.’

  Tobias stared longingly at the satchel. ‘It’s a shame you’re all out of chocolate-chip cookies, though. I’m famished.’

  ‘Who said?’ Cymphany raised her eyebrows, and took out a bag of chocolate-chip cookies from her satchel.

  Tobias’s and Kipp’s eyes lit up. ‘Wow, Cymph,’ Tobias said, as Cymphany handed him a cookie. ‘When did you get a chance to restock?’

  Cymphany shook her head. ‘I didn’t. You’ve been right all along: my satchel really is bottomless.’

  They walked along together, three friends munching on chocolate chip cookies, laughing and having fun, confident that t
here was no better place to be than right where they were.

  ‘Just think,’ Cymphany said, after they’d crossed another Digmont Drive. ‘If our adventures were a series of books, they would be a trilogy, and this would be the final book in the trilogy.’

  Kipp frowned. ‘I never really liked trilogies. I mean, by the time you get to the end of the third book, you’ve gotten to know and love the characters so much, even the bad ones, that leaving them seems so terrible.’

  ‘You know what I don’t like about trilogies,’ Tobias said. ‘When the author doesn’t know how to end the final book.’

  ‘Which might be why we’re just walking down the street into the sunset eating cookies,’ Cymphany laughed.

  ‘Urgghhh,’ Tobias said. ‘I hate it when authors do that. After three books full of excitement and adventure, they just end with something as boring as characters walking down the street eating cookies.’

  ‘I think it’s much better,’ Kipp said, ‘if they just stop mucking about and end the book.’

  ‘Agreed,’ said Tobias.

  ‘Agreed,’ said Cymphany.

  And as I read this, it occurs to me that I agree too.

  The end.

  The Huggabie Falls trilogy

  The Extremely Weird Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls

  The Unbelievably Scary Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls

  The Utterly Indescribable Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls

  Adam Cece lives in Adelaide with his family. He has always liked wondering about weird things, so he decided to write a book about a place where the very weirdest things happen. Then he decided to write a sequel, and then another book to complete the trilogy. adamcece.com

  Andrew Weldon is a cartoonist based in Melbourne. He has written and illustrated several books for children.

  andrewweldon.com

  textpublishing.com.au

  textpublishing.co.uk

  The Text Publishing Company

  Swann House, 22 William Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3000, Australia

  The Text Publishing Company (UK) Ltd

  130 Wood Street, London EC2V 6DL, United Kingdom

  Copyright © Adam Cece 2019.

  The moral right of Adam Cece to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright above, no part of this publication shall be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.

  First published by The Text Publishing Company, 2019.

  Book design by Imogen Stubbs.

  Illustrations © Andrew Weldon.

  Typeset by J&M Typesetting.

  ISBN: 9781925773453 (paperback)

  ISBN: 9781925774269 (ebook)

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.