by B. F. Simone
“I—” Katie started. How did she know?
Eyebrows arched, Lucinda nodded, “preferably, sooner than never, Katie.”
Katie decided to tell her dad she was staying at the Anderson’s rather than ask. He started his usual flow of subtle objections, but stopped when she added that it was a girls night with Lucinda and Allison.
“Oh. Have fun then,” he said, sitting on the couch. He looked tired and lonely. Between his work schedule and her deliberately not waiting up and watching TV with him, he really didn’t have anyone else to spend time with. “I know you think of Lucy like a mom, but try not to forget about Dear Old Dad. I haven’t seen you much.”
“Sure, would you like pink polish or red? I personally think a black would go nice with your attitude,” she said. He was predictable.
“Lucy can’t recite Star Wars episodes: four through six with you like I can. That’s a hard act to follow,” he grinned.
“Maybe, but Lucy’s the only mom I’ve got.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is.” Especially since he’d neglected to tell her anything about her real mother, besides the fact that she liked gardening and arts and crafts.
“How about Saturday we go to the zoo or something.”
“I’ve been to the zoo a thousand times, and the sloth bear is still as boring as ever.” She stopped when she saw his face. “But I do want to see the lions again.”
“Me too,” he said, smiling. His eyes were soft, but they panicked a little—as if they wished they could reach her, but with each try the distance became farther and farther. “I’m not sure you should stay at Lucinda’s on a school night.”
“See you later, Dad” she said, ignoring him.
“Yeah, yeah. One of these days I’m going to expect you to do what I say. Be careful, Katie Bug.”
The click of closing the front door startled her. The sound echoed throughout her mind. That smile—the soft, lonely eyes. For a split second she wanted to go back in and sit with him like she used to. But she had already closed the door. There was no point in going back now.
She returned to Brian’s house, pulled in by the smell of steak, fresh steamed vegetables, and potatoes. Her mouth watered. She didn’t know how tired and hungry she really was until Lucinda put the food on the table.
“So what happened out there with you and Tristan?” Allison said, stuffing her mouth with broccoli. It was a marvel how she could fit so many pieces in, all, at the same time.
“Um. Nothing.”
“Kay, don’t be dumb.”
“Allison,” Lucinda said.
“I’m just saying. There is a lot going on with them. You two act so weird when you’re in the same room.” Allison’s eyes lingered on Katie as a large cut of potato disappeared in her mouth. Katie’s face burned under her gaze. She wanted to say, Really, Allison? You pick now of all times to bring this up? But instead she settled with, “Can you eat your food like a normal person?”
“He just came from nowhere,” Allison said, ignoring her.
“Everyone comes from somewhere, Allison,” Lucinda said.
“I’m serious, Lucy. He shows up on your door step. Stalks Katie, and then says he didn’t “choose” her. That he spends all day trying to get her out of his head. It’s a little mental.”
“It’s complicated,” Lucinda said, centering the vase of orchards in the middle of the table. She moved it an inch to the left, half an inch to the right….
“Fine, Lucy. Forget the crazy story, he’s half-vampire isn’t he? You know what will happen if the Board finds out.”
“Allison! I’m not an idiot.” Lucinda’s brushed her hands together as if the vase had stained them.
Katie exhaled feeling like her head was going to explode. Why was it no one wanted to be honest. Then again she just left her dad in the dark about recent events. Katie was no better. A secret keeper like the rest of them.
Lucinda smoothed out the table, which was strange considering it was wood—what is there to straighten? She shouldn’t have been surprised, it was Lucinda’s way of letting out anxiety. The same way she’d go over a recipe ten times before she collected the ingredients, or wipe the counters until her hands were raw and red.
After dinner, they watched a one-hundred percent, predictable comedy romance—cliché montage and all—movie. Katie loved laughing at every second of it up until the screen went black and her faced slammed into the popcorn bowl.
“And you call me a pig,” Allison laughed.
“Ha ha,” she yawned, picking kernels out of her hair. She fell asleep before the girl realized she was a completely selfish person and chased after the man of her dreams. Actually, she’d fallen asleep before they broke up.
Katie’s eyes started to close again. Her arms and legs weighed a ton and a half. Her eyelids longed to fall to the floor, dragging her into a deep dark abyss.
“Go to bed, Katie. You’ve had a long day,” Lucinda said.
Katie grumbled and left.
As soon as she made it up the on-going staircase, down the long hallway, and to the guest bedroom, she collapsed onto the soft, cool sheets.
She saw herself taking down bricks from a wall, and waving at Tristan on the other side. He walked over to her with his arms spread out ready for her to fall into them. The smell of him made her smile. His long fingers and broad shoulders. He kissed her forehead. It felt like home—his lips moved down. His tongue slipped into her mouth. She didn’t want to let him go, but a blackness was coming, the world began to shake and he was disappearing. She rocked back and forth until the blackness took her whole.
She opened her eyes and she was back in the room—still rocking. When her eyes adjusted to the light, Tristan was staring down at her.
“Quit being a pervert,” he said. His words smashed into her like a car into a brick wall.
She pinched herself. This was another dream. Another horrible unwanted dream. “Oh. My. God.”
“Yeah, and I was there with you for every second of it. Pervert.”
She threw her pillow at him. She wanted to curl into herself and implode. “It was a dream. Argh—why didn’t you just pretend you didn’t see it! What’s wrong with you?”
Tristan smiled before he left the room, “What would be the fun in that?”
I don’t like you, she screamed loud in her mind. Omg, I do not like you. I don’t even like your hair. Or your creepy, beady blue eyes. Omg, I do not like you.
“Pervert,” she heard back. She wasn’t sure if it was her brain echoing him, or his thoughts. Of all people, why him? It was obvious. He was someone new in her life and for the last five days he’d been invading her space and thoughts. It’s only natural that you dream about someone you’ve been around constantly.
She thought of her thoughts in a jar, but this time with a jar made of sound proof glass and a wall that reached to the stars. Not too long after she’d considered a sonar proof wall, Allison walked into the room yawning.
“You’re still up?” Allison asked.
“I had a nightmare,” she said, frowning at the wall.
Allison cocked her head to the side and offered a sympathetic smile. “Still feeling overwhelmed?”
“No. But thanks for reminding me. I made out with Tristan.”
“You what? When? Just now?”
“Dear God, no. In my nightmare. It was terrible.”
“Seriously? That’s what you call a nightmare?”
“You weren’t there. It was horrible. Then he called me a pervert.”
“What did you try and cope a feel? Unrequited love can be devastating.”
“No, he ninja stalked my nightmare, woke me up, and then called me a pervert.”
“Ninja stalked your nightmare?” Allison arched an eyebrow.
It was time to tell Allison the truth about the fight Tristan and Katie had earlier—what he really meant about getting her out of his head.
Allison listened intently. “You’re trying to tell
me he can hear your thoughts?”
Katie nodded.
“Wait—so I’m clear—not only can he read your thoughts, but he also saw a dream you just had where you made-out with him.”
“Correction: nightmare. And yes,” Katie said, feeling a whole new sense of violation blanket her.
“And then he came up here, woke you up, and called you a pervert?” Allison nearly murdered herself in a fit of laughter.
“You’re supposed to be my friend.” Katie said
“I can’t b-believe he called you a pervert. How embarrassing.”
“My mind gets hijacked on a daily basis and you laugh.” Katie threw the covers over her face and ignored Allison’s jeers.
Allison pulled the covers off Katie with a new look on her face. “Seriously though,” she started, “That’s creepy. Does Lucy know?”
“I don’t know. If she did what good is that?”
“Well for one—well—well, I guess it doesn’t change anything,” Allison pulled at a few strands of hair. “It explains a lot though.”
Katie waited.
“He always looks like he has a headache—I don’t mean like that, but seriously. He looks at you a lot, like randomly. I noticed when we were in the library today, he’d shoot glances at you like every few minutes and sometimes he rubs his temples and he’ll have this look on is face like—well it kind of makes sense.”
“That I’m a headache?” Katie said, trying desperately hard to ignore her body’s response to learning that he looks at her.
“Imagine if you heard my thoughts all the time. All of them, all the time. The sheer amount would give anyone a headache.”
“Poor Tristan, He has to listen to my private thoughts all the time. The things I don’t want him to hear. The things I don’t want anyone to hear.”
Allison frowned. “Why? Why can he?”
Kate and Allison spent a hour talking about it. Where exactly Tristan came from. What he knew about her mother. Why he wouldn’t tell her the truth. What Lucinda knew—whether or not he was listening to them at that exact moment…. Always they came to a dead end. Back to square one.
In the mist of Allison’s rhythmic nasal honks, Katie heard a car door slam and went to the window in time to see Brian waving as a car pulled out of the driveway. It was after midnight.
She paced the room trying to figure out what she should say to him. “Couldn’t help but see you waving at your friends. Tell me who they are and maybe I could wave next time too.” No, that sounded too desperate. “Those your new friends? Name and numbers please.” No, too stalker-ish. “You don’t have to hide your new friends, Brian. I only want to know why all of a sudden I’m not invited to sneak-out (insert smile).” If only that one hadn’t made her feel like an ax-murderer.
She held her breath as heavy, dragged footsteps climbed up the stairs. She opened the door just as he reached the landing.
“You were out late,” she said, trying to hide the bits of hysteria she felt. She knew she probably looked manic with her hair falling all over the place. Stupid. Why didn’t she check her hair?
“Mom already yelled at me for not calling. I don’t need it from you,” he said.
“Why would I yell at you?”
He laughed. “I was just kidding.” He hesitated before opening his room door.
Katie caught a whiff of something, maybe alcohol? “Oh, well how was the movie?”
Guilt spread across his face like butter on toast. “Oh it was a piece of shit.”
“I bet.” Why was she getting so angry?
He paused and she stared at his familiar half-smile, trying to make sense of the tightening in her stomach. “Err, night,” he said, closing his bedroom door.
The tightening in her stomach was just the beginning. It was like she couldn’t stand to be around Brian. The next day, after study-hall, he saw Katie with Traci and started laughing with his “movie” friends. “Look, it’s Train-wreck Traci, I heard she’s not even allowed to go within a five-mile radius of a gun.”
Maybe Katie would have laughed too, or asked the follow-up question, “why?” If it hadn’t pissed her off. Traci was standing right there in the hall when he’d said it. She had heard him. Katie knew it. It was in the way Traci adjusted her rucksack and scratched her nose.
It was this, Invincible Brian that Katie never liked. She had tolerated it because he was hardly like that, maybe an hour out of the day or when he was around the wrong people. But, as the week progressed that Brian showed his face more often than not.
On Thursday Allison got a certificate for being the only level-3, which was pretty big (according to Mr. Carver, who looked like a proud father). Katie clapped and congratulated Allison even though the only thing she knew about a level-3 was that is was higher than her level-6. Actually, everyone was higher than her level-6, even Tristan’s fake records put him at level-4.
Everyone stopped clapping when a bubble of laughs erupted from the other side of the classroom. It was Brian cracking a joke about Allison having, “level-3 man hands.” Allison’s hands were a little bigger than the average girl, but they were not man hands.
Allison pretended not to hear it—she was always too dignified to react to stupid jokes, but Katie saw the way she gripped the certificate.
Brian was a giant jerk, and Katie made it a point to give him the cold shoulder for acting like a douche-bag, but it wasn’t just him that had her aggravated and on edge. This one week was more torture than Katie had endured since she joined the swimming team two years ago. There was a reason she’d quit this year. She wanted a relaxing junior year, and now it was like she couldn’t escape stress.
Homework piled, and between classes and training, she was tired even when she was sleeping. Ever since their first training session, Tristan didn’t say much more than what was necessary. He only beat the crap out of her during their training sessions and grunted when she didn’t turn in assignments.
All the while, Sports Day loomed over her like a stalker in a dark alley. She’d already conceded that she’d come in last, she just didn’t want to do it in front of everyone and their parents.
It was Friday and Katie could feel doom moving closer to her. She sat down on the School steps and watched cars pull-up and drive by. Sports Day was tomorrow. She could always invite her dad and tell him that way. She laughed at herself. The thought was stupid. Her dad would know right away that something was up. Katie spending a Saturday at school?
She froze. They were supposed to go to the zoo tomorrow. She smacked her forehead.
Tristan cursed under his breath behind her.
“I know,” she said, hanging her head between her legs. What a headache.
“No. I’m talking about that.”
Katie lifted her head and followed his gaze out onto the street. Her heart constricted in her chest. Her dad sat in his truck staring at her. Her and Tristan.
He knew.
Every thing about the disgusted look on his face said he knew. His eyes bore into her.
Katie sat on the steps unsure of what to do. Her dad’s face didn’t say he wanted to talk. It was the look of a man completely betrayed. But why did she feel like she’d stabbed him in the back? Why was her heart in her throat? He was the one who’d lied to her.
She stood up and prepared herself to walk over.
Tristan grabbed her arm. “You don’t have to go over there.”
Katie’s hands shook. It didn’t matter whether she did or not. Her father started-up the truck and left.
Time speed up and froze at the same time. Why was this happening now? How did he know?
She took off running. Something told her if she didn’t show up home ASAP things were going to be worse.
She made it a quarter of the way before she started coughing.
“Katalina—” Tristan was right behind her.
“Shit. Shit. I’m in so much trouble. He’s going to kill me. How did he find out?”
“Katalina, you haven’t
done anything wrong.” Tristan shook her. “Look at me—you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I can’t deal with this. I can’t. I don’t know what to do. He’s so pissed.”
Tristan gripped her shoulders so hard it hurt, “If he threatens to do anything run.”
Katie shook her head, “What? He wouldn’t hit me. No. Christ, no. He’s not crazy.” Tristan’s eyes pierced straight into her mind.
“There are worse things.” He let her go. She was completely thrown off. Why were there always worse things?
When she made it to her house, the truck was in the driveway. Katie took a few deep breaths and walked to her porch.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Katalina.” Even though Tristan said it over and over again, she felt like she’d been caught half-naked with a boy.
She left Tristan and went inside. It was silent except for the sound of the TV. He was in the living-room in his usual spot on the couch. She stood in the doorway waiting for him to notice her.
He didn’t move a muscle. The long wait made her feet ache. He wasn’t going to say anything? He always said something. Her heart pinched and pounded. She turned to leave when he spoke.
“Who’s that boy.”
She didn’t say anything. That wasn’t what she expected. “Just Tristan—he goes to my school.”
Silence.
Her feet throbbed from running and anticipation. Was that what he was angry about? Did he know Tristan or did he just dislike the fact that she was with a boy?
“Do you realize what you’ve done? Do you know what I’ve gone through—sacrificed—to make sure you were safe?”
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Katie said in a small voice.
He looked at her through the slits of his eyes. “If you ever talk to, look at, or speak about that family or that boy, I swear to God, Katie.”
What was he saying? “Dad—”
“I had to hear it from him. Of all people. You’re a liar and a coward. Look at me when I talk to you. Never again are you allowed to go near those people.”
“You can’t—you can’t say that. They’re family.”
