Adrenaline Rush

by Cindy M. Hogan

  He wanted me to open my mind. Nothing was off the table. He informed me he had access to the president’s schedule, too.

  At one point, Sterling said, “It seems like we’ve always been together, doesn’t it?” He was looking at me, but it felt like he was looking past me, his eyes were completely unfocused. Then he focused again, and his evil eyes really looked at me.

  “This plan of yours makes me feel like you could be the queen. That’s what this organization needs, a queen. We could open a whole new facility, and you could be the queen of it. Yes. Yes. That sounds right.” He spaced off again. “You know, kings and queens aren’t born, they’re made. I will show you how. I want you to think of everything that could go wrong with your plan and the solution to each thing.”

  I intended to. My plan couldn’t have gone any better. It had been a little over two months, and he was totally ready to give me my own facility.

  “If kings aren’t born, but made, what made you the king?”

  “That’s easy. I realized as I was watching TV how this society had turned to garbage. So many people were watching silly, uncolorful people do silly things on TV and then emulating them. Idolizing them. I decided to start with media and get rid of the worst offenders first. I studied the people and their habits and made sure all my kills were needed, helpful, and justified. That meant that a few of the people I thought needed to be assassinated weren’t the ones that truly needed to be. Someone else was pulling the strings. So, I adjusted and got the right people.

  “You can’t just go around killing people willy-nilly. I got better and better as time went on. In fact, I got so good, people started contacting me with their problems. I realized the smut, indecision, lawlessness, and greed extended beyond the media. While I still use media to discover a lot of it, it is prevalent everywhere. I had to broaden my approach. When I did, I became king. I am the final say when it comes to those four things. People count on me to weed that garbage out of society. It is expected of me. As time goes on, the wickedness seems to continue to grow. There is definite room for a queen. You and I over all my facilities. Oh the things we will accomplish together.” He looked me square in the eye, and I had to bury my feelings of disgust and allow a touch of admiration to enter my eyes. The most difficult thing I’d ever done.

  Had he said institutions? There was more than one?

  The first piece of information I got from the subversives was the guard’s shift schedule. It rotated every day. It was an odd/even three-day switch up. Odd and even days had the same things, but every three days it was a different schedule. This was very useful information. Sterling and his teachers reminded us continuously about how great it was to have the guard towers to protect us from the evil world outside. Did everyone believe that crap? I wondered when the next Circus of Feats would be occurring. I thought it might open up some information I could use to get us out of here.

  I wondered if I’d ever really get out of here. The security around the place seemed impenetrable, and the information the resistance fed me was so little, that it would take a year to even get it all. I would not be here a year. They were so conservative on this drop, it about killed me. I wanted more. If only they’d give it all to me. I couldn’t wait on them. I had to act now. Besides, I was slowly losing Duncan and Frankie.

  I also had to really start pushing the idea that I was getting closer to embracing all that Sterling taught. At our meetings I started peppering him with questions like, how do I know they’re all guilty? Why do they deserve to die? Can I choose which people to go after? Can I choose who I think is guilty and who isn’t? And when he’d answer, I’d murmur things under my breath that would give the impression he was getting through to me.

  While I was getting good at faking it, Houston embraced it fully. Frankie started saying thing that showed me she was falling into Sterling’s trap. And Duncan agreed with some of the crazy Sterlingisms I would talk about with other kids. I would do my best to bring them back from his conditioning each time I was with them. Memories of our previous activities together and sweet moments like serving the community at the drama fundraiser worked really well to remind them that Sterling was an evil kidnapper and nothing more.

  One thing that was fun was to see Frankie get a boyfriend. Actually, she got several boyfriends in a short amount of time. Instead of comforting her about home, my job was now to be a shoulder for her to cry on when a guy said or did the wrong thing. It was nice to have a break from her whining about home, but that connection with home was quickly being severed and that was not good.

  More and more, it was Zoey and me by ourselves. Cross words were often spoken with Duncan, but he wasn’t a lost cause. He’d also found a girl that he was interested in and tended to hang out with her.

  I emailed Sterling one Friday evening that I had figured something awesome out. I couldn’t believe it had taken me almost three months to figure it out. When I tried the dining room door, it opened, so I went in, thinking he’d gotten my message. He was once again talking to someone in the room to the side of the dining room with the door open. I wished I knew what was behind that door. Was the person he was talking to a new client, a recruiter? This time I could hear clearly what was being said.

  “Why are you giving me excuses?” Sterling said. “Just get it done.”

  “I don’t understand,” a familiar voice said. “Why can’t we just take a break? You have plenty.”

  I couldn’t breathe. I knew that voice. I knew the spicy scent that wafted into the room. I started to back up.

  “Are you needing a break from our quest, our calling?” Sterling said.

  Shallow, fast breaths rocked my body, and my head started to spin. I gasped for a deep breath. It was too loud. I had to see with my own two eyes. I had to confirm it. I felt his kisses on my lips. His sweet words of love and trust. I moved toward the door behind which the conversation was coming. I felt a presence behind me, but I didn’t care, I had to see. Could it be? Only a few more feet. Something hit me hard on the back of my head. As I fell, Sterling pushed his door open, and my fears were confirmed. Next to Sterling stood Dakota.

  I was in the doctor’s office. I tried to sit up and my vision swam, so I lay back down. My head pounded, and I reached up, feeling a large goose egg on the back of my head. I heard someone breathing and turned to see Dakota sitting in a cushiony chair staring at me. Before I could say anything. He pressed a button on a pen he had in his pocket.

  “We only have a minute and a half to speak freely.”

  “You!” I spat. “If I could move, I’d break your neck.” Was that a jammer he had?

  “I told you to stay away from the Avengers. Why didn’t you listen to me?” His face lined with worry.

  “Maybe because you told me to.” I gave him a dirty look. “Did you send us here? Did you pick us to be tortured?”

  “No. I never told him to take you. Look. I don’t have time to argue with you. It’s super important that you pretend we only know each other through Madness. You can’t tell anyone we were together. You would be in extreme danger if you did.”

  “So, you’re telling me what to do again?”

  “Please. Sterling won’t kill you if finds out we’ve kissed, he will maim you, making you pay for the rest of your life.”

  “Pay for what?”

  “He doesn’t want me to be distracted, and he has a very strict rule that I not get involved with the selections at all. He doesn’t want me to have a soft spot for anyone here. It’s a smart policy, really, ‘cause the second he took you, my mind immediately started working on a way to save you.”

  “And you came up dry?” I forced myself to stay mad.

  “I did. Sterling is more powerful than you’ll ever know. Once you’re in his organization, you’re in or you’re dead.”

  “Why do you work for him?” I leaned forward.

  “It’s complicated.” He slouched in his chair.

  “Why didn’t you tell him we were together? Then he
wouldn’t have taken me. Instead you let him take me.”

  “No.”

  “None of this would have happened if you’d been honest with him. It’s almost been three months and you show up now? What the heck!”

  “Number one, I did not tell him to take you. One of my colleagues told him he saw a blonde-haired girl surfing the trains with the group. That was all he needed. He’d waited a long time for the group to be complete. He didn’t consult with me. He just snatched you guys. And number two, I’ve only been here twice since you were taken and the first time was only for a couple of hours. I have to follow orders.”

  I started to object, but he held up his hand and said, “Stop! I need you to listen to me. Please, don’t acknowledge me or give me a second glance. We must be as good as strangers here.”

  “But we’re not.”

  “I know and I want to help you, but now’s not the time. I have to protect you.”

  The penlight went out.

  “You’re awake,” he said, as if we hadn’t been talking already. “I’ll get the doctor.” He left the room. Would he come back? What if I never saw him again? I had been stupid. I should have used the time to get him to help me, not be angry and yell.

  The doc came in without Dakota.

  “Let me look at those baby blues,” he said. He used a small flashlight to check my dilation. “No concussion,” he said. “But you’ve got a nice goose egg that will be tender for some time.” He turned, opened a drawer, and pulled out a hand-held mirror. He angled it so that I could see my bump. It was a big one. In the center was a dark blue circle. It would have a black bruise even when the swelling went down.

  “You fainted?” he said. “Tell me what happened. I just ran your blood work and it looks fine.”

  “I’m not sure,” I said. I guess I’d play along with the lie Sterling had told the doc. “I smelled something spicy, and I suddenly felt weak. My knees came out from under me.” I still couldn’t believe Dakota was the recruiter. The betrayal hung around my neck like an anchor, and I started to sink into the depths of the sea.

  “Do you know if you were locking your knees, then?”

  “I guess I could have been. Honestly, I don’t know.” Darkness swirled around me.

  “Well, we’ll chalk it up to that, then. Watch those knees young lady.” He patted my shoulder and smiled.

  “I will.”

  “All your other tests look fine. Healthy as a horse. You’re free to go.”

  “Thanks,” I said, hopping down. I felt invisible water fill my lungs, and I gasped for air. Dakota was the recruiter. Then I spotted the doc’s computer in the corner of the room. I pretended to sway. The doc caught me.

  “Maybe you should lie back down for a little bit longer.”

  “Okay,” I said, lying back. He made sure I was comfortable, and then he left the room. Once I heard the door click shut, I carefully made my way to the bathroom to the left of the room, casually taking note of the one camera in the room. It seemed to be trained on the table I’d been lying on and the door to the room. I hoped it couldn’t see me sneak along the wall by the bathroom and behind the computer. I pretended to go into the bathroom, but passed it and continued to the computer. After clicking the computer on, I was pleased to find that my medical chart was up and that the computer was hooked up to the Internet. With lightning speed, I pulled up another tab, set up a false email account and typed a coded message to Jeremy using a very difficult code I’d seen in one of my Division manuals.

  I gave him all the info I knew about the area and that the head of the place was Sterling and Dakota was the recruiter. I heard the click of the exit door. I hit send, closed the email tab and put the screen to sleep. I then slid along the wall to the bathroom and grabbed the door, acting like I’d just come out.

  “You feeling better already?” the doc asked.

  “I think so,” I said. “I just needed to go to the bathroom.”

  “Would you like someone to help you to your room?”

  “I think I’ve got it. I’ll go slowly.” I smiled, using biofeedback to slow my heart, and made my way past him to the exit door. “Thanks for your help.”

  I tried to make my way to my room, but the adrenaline I’d used to send that email was gone, and I had to stop and brace myself on the wall, lean over and take deep breaths to be able to go further. Dakota was the recruiter. How could it be? Once I made it to my room, I closed the door and after pressing my back up against it, I slid to the floor, my knees coming up to my chest. I wept bitter tears of betrayal.

  I woke up, screaming his name, “Dakota!” My back ached from falling asleep scrunched up by the door. My muscles ached as I stood. I let hot water pelt me in the shower for a good half-hour and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I got out.

  When I walked back into my room, my towel snug about me, Zoey was sitting on my bed, eyes looking concerned. “Do you want to talk about it?” she said.

  When I didn’t say anything and only stared at her, she said, “I came by to get you last night, and I heard you crying, I didn’t mean to intrude, I...” She let that hang out there.

  I relaxed and pulled on all the strength I could muster and said, “I just had a bad evening, that’s all. Sorry you had to hear it.”

  “You know, you can tell me anything.”

  “I know,” I said, tugging on my towel. “It was just a bad day.” It bugged me knowing that Sterling had seen it all on his monitors.

  “Alright then, let’s make this afternoon better then. What do you say?”

  Her smile was infectious and even though I wanted to stay in my room and wallow in self-pity, I said, “Sounds great. Now, get out of here so I can get ready. I’ll meet you in the mess hall.”

  She stood up and left, pausing only to give me a hug.

  I ate a ton of breakfast: crepes with lemon and raspberry sauce. I was glad it was hands-on training today. If it hadn’t been, I probably wouldn’t have gotten anything done. There was no way I could get away with that in these trainings. I was forced to participate.

  Because it was Saturday, after dinner we played water games on the playing field. It was nice to let loose for a while and escape. My head started to ache after about two hours of the fun, so I went to my room to sleep it off. I definitely didn’t want it to turn into a migraine. I wondered if getting my hair colored bright yellow again had anything to do with it. I took heart that it was a good two inches long now.

  Surprisingly, Zoey had to wake me up in the morning. It was already ten. She grabbed Frankie and Duncan while I finished getting ready, and we left to watch motocross racing at a track we had to be shuttled to. It was exactly what I needed to do to forget about Dakota. We had to walk to the baseball field and then a safari-type, bus-like vehicle drove us to the track. I looked all around trying to find a chink in the compound’s armor as we drove, but there really wasn’t anything to see. We drove on a path through a densely forested and hilly area. This place seemed to have no end, no boundary. I noticed a few kids bail out into the forest after we’d been driving about ten minutes. I noticed a bush with big, round black berries next to two trees close together and figured I’d jump off at that same spot on our way back to see what was up.

  It was pretty fun to see the motocross riders perform. Frankie took off with her newest crush and they sat, glued together, kissing, hugging, and acting silly the whole show. I wondered when she’d come crying to me about something he said or did. I wished I could tell her about Dakota. I shut my eyes thinking of the effect his betrayal had on me.

  We sat in a strategic position for Zoey to be able to look at, but not interact, with James. He was a shy, modestly attractive Whitie, and Zoey had had a crush on him for over six months. I doubted she would ever actually talk to him. It would take a miracle.

  Zoey, Duncan, and I grabbed burgers, fries, and drinks from the food stand when we got hungry and walked around the area chatting and laughing about the stunts the riders had pulled. I wanted
to go check out that place in the forest where I’d seen those kids bail on the ride over before it got dark, so when they started back to the track, I said, “I’m going to head back, I’m feeling a bit dusted and noised out.”

  “No way, Misha!” Duncan said. “You’ve got to stay so you can try out the bikes. You’ll love it.”

  “It’s tempting,” I said, and it was, “but I’m getting a headache, and I don’t want it to turn into a migraine.”

  “Well, I’ll come with you, then,” Zoey said. I could tell she really didn’t want to.

  “No you won’t,” I said, walking away backwards. “I forbid it. Go ride the bikes. Someone’s gotta give me a blow by blow.” That way she could also spend more time staring at the boy she adored and maybe even see him ride.

  She brightened. “Are you sure?” She tilted her head to the side. What she was really asking was if I was going to go back and cry my heart out again.

  “Definitely! But watch out for lover-girl there.” I indicated Frankie. I grinned and then turned to run and catch the shuttle that was pulling away from the stop.

  I sat backwards on the shuttle, hoping I’d recognize the spot I needed to find. When I saw the bright red bush and two trees close by it where the others had jumped, I jumped off. It was nothing like jumping from a train. The shuttle moved so slowly, I just hopped off and walked away. I found what I thought was a trail and followed it in stealth mode. It wasn’t long before I heard voices. About seven kids sang and worked in an area cleared of trees. They were weeding, planting, and watering a garden of all kinds of things like beets, carrots, tomatoes, and corn.