by J. Sterling
I winced a little, waiting for Gran’s normal scolding about my language, but it didn’t come. Which was a pretty good indication of how rattled she was.
“Oh no. Poor Cassie. How is she taking the news?”
“Not well. And she doesn’t even know about the wedding yet, only the baby.”
“Poor Kitten,” Gramps said, finally speaking up.
Gran looked up at me with concern in her eyes. “I’m really sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this by yourself, Dean. And I wish there was a way to change his mind, but I think his mind is made up. Nothing I said stuck. And I tried. Believe me, I tried.” She sighed, suddenly looking more tired than usual, and older too.
“Are you guys going to the wedding?”
Gramps let out a sound that sounded a little like disgust. “We can’t travel all the way out there. You know we don’t fly anymore. Your gran doesn’t do well with flying.”
We stayed up for an hour longer, talking over exactly what was said as my grandmother pried more information out of me about Cassie and how she was doing. Gran seemed concerned for her, for Jack, for me. It was her nature to nurture.
I told her that Jack had asked me to be his best man, and she nodded silently as if knowing that I had little choice in the matter. Going to the wedding was something I had to do.
When they finally told me they were heading to bed early, I yawned, realizing how tired I was as well, and emotionally spent.
“Are you okay, Gran?”
“I’m just sad. For all of us. We’ve all lost something tonight,” she said sadly before patting my cheek and walking slowly away.
Welcome to Hell
I hadn’t known when it was coming, when Jack would tell Cassie about the wedding, but I was sick to my stomach with dread. I’d assumed he would tell her right after confessing everything to Gran, but I was wrong. Every day that passed after that was just another day that Cassie still didn’t know. And now the wedding was only weeks away.
I felt like I should warn her somehow, but had no clue what to say or do. Part of me thought she honestly might be our only hope out of this hell. That if anyone could convince Jack not to do this, it would be her.
I’d tried to talk him out of it about twenty times since, but he was adamant, his mind made up. He had convinced himself that this was the only option so he wouldn’t follow in our parents’ footsteps. It was twisted logic that made no sense, but he didn’t see it that way. And no matter what he said, I knew that he was still madly in love with Cassie, and the idea of him marrying someone who wasn’t her had to be eating him alive.
Sitting in Jack’s room, I was messing around with his mini basketball, shooting hoops like I used to do when he was still here. My cell phone rang just as I missed another shot—Damn!—and Melissa’s name appeared. I hesitated for only a second before answering.
“Get the fuck over here,” she screamed into the phone before I even said hello.
My heart raced as a giant lump formed in my throat. Did this mean that Cassie knew?
“Uh,” I said, trying to play dumb.
“Don’t uh me, Dean. Get over here now. Jack just called. He’s marrying that stupid girl? Cassie needs you.” Before I could say anything, she gentled her voice. “Please come over,” she asked nicely, but she had me at Cassie needing me.
“I’ll be right there.”
I ended the call and jumped up from the floor, having no idea if Cassie had had a good conversation with him or not. I assumed if she needed me, things probably weren’t okay, but I didn’t know for sure.
All my questions were answered the second Melissa let me into their apartment. Cassie’s sobs could be heard from the front door, and it broke my heart to hear them.
“She’s devastated,” Melissa warned me before shoving me toward Cassie’s bedroom.
Melissa and I walked into the room to find Cassie in the fetal position, her body wrapped up tight on itself as she sobbed, her face soaked with her tears. Every other breath or so, she’d move her face into her pillow and cry so loud and hard. I’d never seen anything like it, never seen someone in so much physical pain from an emotional wound.
I sat down gingerly at the foot of her bed and waited. My brother was the one who had done this to her, and that knowledge made me feel somewhat responsible as well.
Not knowing what to do or say to comfort her—or even if I could—I reached out and touched Cassie’s calf, but she quickly swatted my hand away.
“Say something, Dean,” Melissa insisted, jabbing my shoulder with her finger.
Uncomfortable with all of this, I looked up at her pleadingly. “What do you want me to say?”
“Make her feel better. Tell her you talked to Jack. Something!” Melissa said, her eyes wild.
Cassie’s head jerked up as she met my eyes for the first time. “You talked to Jack?” she said, her voice still racked with sobs.
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“I don’t know. He’s completely irrational. I can’t talk any sense into him at all,” I admitted.
“What about his agents?” Cassie asked, her voice raspy from crying. “I mean, what good are they if they let him go through with this?”
Feeling useless, I shrugged. “They tried, trust me. I guess I should be thankful they got him to agree to a pre-nup.”
Jack’s agents and I had ambushed him on the phone one evening and told him we’d support this sham of a wedding if he had Chrystle sign a pre-nup. Predictably, Jack had argued with us, but I was prepared for that and brought out the big guns. I threatened not to come, that I wouldn’t be there for the ceremony and stand up with him.
Thank God that worked. Jack hadn’t listened to any other bit of advice, but he listened to that one.
“They did? That’s good.” Cassie looked up at me with the slightest bit of relief in her eyes as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
“They tried to get him to wait, told him to get confirmation that the baby was his, but you know Jack.” I shrugged, figuring she knew as much as I did how stubborn and pig-headed he was.
Cassie sat up and pulled her pillow up behind her to lean against, her face puffy and her eyes red and swollen nearly shut from crying so hard and for so long. The sight gutted me.
“I’m sorry, sis. I tried to tell him this was wrong. I did everything I could to talk him out of it, but he won’t listen. He’s so stubborn, and he’s convinced himself that what he’s doing is right for the baby’s sake. Gran even tried to talk to him,” I admitted in a whisper.
“What? What’d she say?” Cassie asked, sounding hopeful.
I sucked in a long breath. “She told him that it doesn’t take becoming someone’s husband to become a good dad, that one has nothing to do with the other. She said that being a dad was a choice, and even though anyone could father a child, only a real man chooses to be a dad. She told him that being a husband was something that should be reserved for the person you truly want to call your wife.”
A small smile appeared on Cassie’s face. “Gran’s good.”
“What did he say to that?” Melissa asked, and I startled with surprise. I’d almost forgotten she was even in the room.
“He wouldn’t listen to her, either,” I said, shaking my head as Cassie’s smile disappeared. “He told her that his child wouldn’t grow up in a broken home. That sometimes you have to be unselfish and compromise, even if it’s not what you want, because it’s not about you anymore.”
“There’s no getting through to him. How are your grandparents doing?” she asked, and my shoulders slumped forward.
“They’re both really sad. They’re worried for him. And they’re worried about you.”
She nodded but said nothing, just tugged at a shredded tissue that had been balled in her hand.
“He loves you, Cassie. He doesn’t give a shit about this girl; he’s just so fucked up from our parents that he can’t see reason.” I pleaded with my eyes for her to understand, wa
nting her to know just how messed up my brother truly was over this.
Melissa stepped closer, watching me as she said to me, “I feel like you wouldn’t do this, though, and you both grew up in the same house.”
She was right. I couldn’t imagine doing this either, but I wasn’t in Jack’s position. Who knew how I’d react if this had happened to me?
“Yeah, you’re probably right. But he’s older and remembers things that I don’t. He was the one who had to hold it together while our mom fell apart. He remembers the day our dad didn’t come home. Honestly, Jack really lost it when Mom left. He was never the same after that, and he’s been fighting his demons ever since.”
Looking back at Cassie, I said, “I never thought he’d let anyone in. We would argue like crazy about how he always pushed everyone away until I realized there was no changing his mind. I don’t think it’s that he didn’t want someone to love him—he just didn’t want to risk loving them back. You know, in case they left him too.”
I paused for a moment before adding, “Then you showed up and everything changed. You changed him.”
Cassie’s eyes welled with tears as she whispered, “He changed me too.”
“I’ll say,” Melissa said. “She never let anyone in either. I knew the night she saw Jack that something was different.” She turned to stare at Cassie as she spoke. “I could see it. Watching the two of you together, it was like watching fireworks light up the night sky. You burn brighter when you’re together.”
“But even fireworks burn out,” Cassie said sadly, and my heart ached with the finality of her words.
• • •
Word of Jack’s wedding spread like wildfire. I had no idea how the press got wind of the news, but the school newspaper was having a field day with it, and then the local newspaper picked up the story. They all heralded Jack as our local superstar and celebrated his upcoming wedding to a Southern sweetie, a sentiment that I found puke-inducing.
Poor Cassie had to endure it all. She was humiliated, and even if she never said those exact words to me, I knew she felt that way. I didn’t want her to be alone, so I constantly texted Melissa to make sure they were together, or to ask if I needed to come over. Cassie was tough, but this was too much, even for a strong girl.
“Where is she?” I asked Melissa from our table as I scanned the student union, searching for Cassie.
“I don’t know. I just sent her a text telling her that we were here, so you can calm down.”
I scowled at Melissa just as her phone beeped, and she snatched it up to read the text.
“She’s on her way.”
“Good.”
Concerned, I kept an eye out for Cassie, not wanting anyone to harass her or to be mean to her the way girls could sometimes be.
When she came through the doors, I spotted her right away, and noticed with dismay how people stopped what they were doing to watch her every move. They expected her to fall apart, break down in some way, which would give them something juicy to post on social media.
Damn vultures.
It took everything in me to not run up to Cassie and play bodyguard. She didn’t need it, but I felt obligated when it came to her. I knew Jack would want me to protect her, especially since he couldn’t anymore.
When her eyes met mine from across the room, she relaxed slightly, but by the time she reached our table, she was practically hyperventilating.
“You’re okay. It’s okay.” Melissa reached across the table to grab Cassie’s hand, and Cassie’s eyes became glassy as she fought back tears.
I slid next to her and put my arm around her shoulders to comfort her. Pulling her against me, I told her in a low voice that it would all be okay as she worked on breathing normally.
A curvy blonde at the next table motioned toward us with a snide smile. “I guess if Jack dumped me, I’d date his brother too.”
“Shut up, you stupid tramp,” Melissa shouted, her face reddening. “All of you just shut the hell up and leave her alone!”
Brett and Cole had been sitting several tables away, but when they saw what was happening, they grabbed their trays and headed toward our table. A few girls tried to follow, but the guys told them to back off and announced loudly enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear that they weren’t welcome.
Cole sat down on the other side of Cassie, his eyes holding a different kind of pain. “We’re all really sorry about you and Jack, Cassie. If there’s anything we can do, just let us know. You’re still our family.”
Brett dropped his tray opposite Cole with a clatter, and his unopened can of soda fell over and rolled around. “Girls are such bitches!” he said loudly before plopping down, causing the whole table to vibrate.
“Hey!” Melissa smacked his shoulder.
“Present company excluded, of course,” he said sweetly with a wink in her direction, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up at the attention he was giving her.
Then Brett focused on Cassie. “Good to see you, Cass.” He grinned and then bit off a monster-sized bite from his club sandwich, deliberately ignoring the bits of lettuce and tomato that fell out of his mouth as he tried to chew the ridiculous mouthful.
Brett’s antics were so comical that Cassie started laughing. It was a sound we hadn’t heard in forever, but once she started, she couldn’t stop.
“There’s the smile I love.” I nudged her shoulder with mine.
“Are you still working at that magazine?” Cole asked, flicking an unopened bag of chips across the table to Brett.
“Yeah,” she said with a wan smile. “They extended my internship another semester.”
It pained me to realize that even I hadn’t known that. With all the drama going on lately, I hadn’t even asked about it.
“And they’re sending her on an assignment!” Melissa squealed.
“They’re what? You didn’t tell me that.” I frowned, frustrated at how out of the loop I was.
“She just found out, Dean. Don’t get all pouty about it,” Melissa said, and I chucked a grape at her head.
Cassie nudged me, bringing my attention back to her. “I think it’s a test. They said they want to see what kind of emotions I can evoke in readers with my pictures.”
“What kind of what?” Brett’s face twisted in confusion.
Cole shook his head with mock dismay. “You’re such an idiot.”
“They said they wanted to see how I viewed the world.” Cassie shrugged. “So they’re giving me a chance to show them.”
Cole turned toward her, seeming genuinely interested. “That’s so cool. Do you think they’ll hire you?”
“I don’t know. I guess if they like what they see, but I still have a lot to learn. The photographers they have on staff are mind-blowingly talented. I only hope I’ll be that good someday. Plus, their main offices are in New York. The only people they have in LA are the head of sales, a research-and-development exec, some freelancers, and me.”
“Would you move to New York?” Brett asked.
Melissa seemed surprised, and Cassie met her gaze as she said, “Why not? You only live once, right?”
“Because it snows there, that’s why not!” Melissa exclaimed, and pushed out her bottom lip in a pout.
Those damn lips of hers are going to be the death of me.
“New York seems pretty cool.” Brett shrugged before finishing off his drink, and tossed the empty toward the trash can a few feet away. When it hit the edge and fell to the floor, we all burst into laughter and teased Brett about how much he sucked.
I was thankful it wasn’t me. I always fucking missed.
Cassie seemed to be in a daze; her mind was definitely elsewhere. But I couldn’t blame her. None of us could.
“Hello?” Melissa waved both arms like she was signaling a rescue chopper.
“I’m sorry, what did I miss?” Cassie asked, and everyone laughed again. Then she glanced at her phone. “I have to go. I have class in ten minutes, and it’s on the othe
r side of campus.”
I made a quick decision, realizing I was quickly running out of time to come clean with Cassie. I hated hurting her any more than she already was, but I had to tell her the truth. She needed to know that I was not only going to Jack’s wedding, but that I was going to be in it as well. And now was as good a time as any.
“I’ll walk you.” I stood up to join her, and everyone stared at me like I had just crossed some invisible boundary.
“You don’t have to walk me to class, Dean. I’m fine,” Cassie said as we left the student union.
“I know, but I wanted to talk to you.”
“What’s up?”
“I just wanted you to know that I’m going to the wedding. And he asked me to be his best man.”
Cassie stopped abruptly and froze, and I thought she might drop the bag she was holding as her face twisted in pain. I reached out an arm to steady her, but she pulled away.
“Of course you are,” she said, her eyes huge and pained as she looked up at me. “You’re his brother.”
Ashamed of myself, I lowered my gaze and kicked at the ground with the toe of my shoe. “I know, but I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. Standing up there with Jack, it’s like saying that I agree with what he’s doing. And I don’t. I don’t agree with it for one second, but he’s my brother and I love him.”
Cassie threw her arms around me, refusing to let go until I hugged her back. “I love you for caring about me, but of course you should be there for Jack.”
“I just wish I could talk him out of it.”
“Are Gran and Gramps going?”
“They’re not. Gran claims she can’t fly for that long, and Gramps refuses to go without her.” I shrugged. “But honestly, I don’t think they have the heart to watch him go through with it.”
“Does Jack know they aren’t coming?” she asked, and I knew it must hurt her to still care so much about him.
“He knows. I think he’s relieved, actually. He feels like he let them down, you know? He’s dealing with a lot of guilt right now.”
