by Kiera Cass
A small patch of fading sunlight fell across Aspen’s face, and I ran. “I’m here!” I yelled. “I’m over here!”
I ran straight into Aspen’s arms, for once not caring about who saw. “Thank goodness,” he breathed into my hair. Then, turning toward the other figures, “I’ve got her! She’s alive!”
Aspen bent down and picked me up, cradling me. “I was terrified we were going to find your body somewhere. Are you hurt?”
“My legs a little.”
A second later, several guards were surrounding us, congratulating Aspen on a job well done.
“Lady America,” the one in charge said, “are you injured at all?”
I shook my head. “Just some scratches on my legs.”
“Did they try to hurt you?”
“No. They never caught up to me.”
He looked a bit shocked. “None of the other girls could have outrun them, I don’t think.”
I smiled, finally at ease. “None of the other girls is a Five.”
Several of the guards chuckled, Aspen included.
“Good point. Let’s get you back.” He went in front of us and called out to the other guards, “Be on the lookout. They could still be lingering in the area.”
As we moved, Aspen talked to me quietly. “I know you’re fast and smart, but I was terrified.”
“I lied to the officer,” I whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“They did catch up with me, eventually.”
Aspen looked at me in horror.
“They didn’t do anything, but this one girl saw me. She curtsied and ran off.”
“Curtsied?”
“I was surprised, too. She didn’t look angry or threatening at all. In fact, she just looked like a normal girl.”
I thought over Maxon’s comparison of the two rebel groups and knew this girl must be a Northerner. There was absolutely no aggression in her, only a drive to do her task. And there was no doubt that the attack last night was from the Southern rebels. Did that mean something, that the attacks weren’t only back-to-back, but by different groups? Were the Northerners watching us, waiting for us to be this drained? Thinking about them spying on the palace so intently was a little frightening.
At the same time, the attack was almost funny. Did they simply walk in the front doors? How many hours were they in the palace collecting their treasures? Which reminded me.
“She had books, lots of them,” I said.
Aspen nodded. “That seems to happen a lot. No clue what they’re doing with them. My guess is kindling. I think it’s cold where they stay.”
“Hmm,” I replied, not really answering. If I needed kindling, I could think of much easier places to get it than the palace. And the way the girl was so desperate to gather up the books made me sure it was something more than that.
It took nearly an hour of slow, steady trekking to get back to the palace. Even though he was injured, Aspen never let his hold on me slip. In fact, he looked to be enjoying the walk despite the extra labor. I liked it, too.
“The next few days might be busy for me, but I’ll try to come see you soon,” Aspen whispered as we crossed the wide, grassy lawn leading up to the palace.
“Okay,” I answered quietly.
He smiled a little as he looked forward, and I joined him, taking in the view. The palace was glittering in the evening sun, with windows lit up on every story. I’d never seen it like this. It was beautiful.
For some reason I thought Maxon would be there, waiting by the back doors for me. He wasn’t. No one was. Aspen was instructed to take me to the hospital wing so Dr. Ashlar could tend to my legs while another guard went off to tell the royal family I’d been found alive.
My homecoming was a nonevent. I was alone in a hospital bed with bandaged legs, and that was how I stayed until I fell asleep.
I heard someone sneeze.
I opened my eyes, confused for a second before remembering where I was. I blinked, looking around the room.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Maxon said in hushed tones. “You should go back to sleep.” He was propped up in a chair by my bed, so close he could rest his head by my elbow if he wanted to.
“What time is it?” I rubbed my eyes.
“Almost two.”
“In the morning?”
Maxon nodded. He watched me carefully, and I was suddenly very worried about how I looked. I had washed my face and pulled my hair up when I came back, but I was pretty sure I had a pillow imprinted on my cheek.
“Don’t you ever sleep?” I asked.
“I do. I’m just on edge a lot.”
“Occupational hazard?” I sat up a bit more.
He gave me a thin smile. “Something like that.”
There was a long pause as we sat there, unsure of what to say next.
“I thought of something today, when I was in the woods,” I said casually.
He smiled a bit more at how easily I brushed off the incident. “Oh, really?”
“It was about you.”
He inched closer, his brown eyes focused on mine. “Do tell.”
“Well,” I started, “I was thinking about how you were last night when Elise and Kriss weren’t in the hall, how worried you were. And then today I saw you try to run after me when the rebels came.”
“I tried. I’m so sorry.” He shook his head, ashamed that he hadn’t done more.
“I’m not upset,” I explained. “That’s the thing. When I was out there alone, I thought about how worried you probably were, how worried you are about the others. And I can’t pretend to know how you feel about all of us, but I know that you and I aren’t exactly a highlight right now.”
He chuckled. “We’ve seen better days.”
“But you still ran after me. You handed Kriss off to a guard because she couldn’t run. You’re trying to keep us all safe. So why would you ever hurt one of us?”
He sat silently, not sure where I was going.
“I understand now. If you’re that concerned with our safety, you couldn’t have wanted to do that to Marlee. I’m sure you would have stopped it if you could.”
He sighed. “In a heartbeat.”
“I know.”
Tentatively, Maxon reached across the bed for my hand. I let him take it. “Do you remember how I said I had something I wanted to show you?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t forget, okay? It’s coming. This position requires a lot of things, and they aren’t always pleasant. But sometimes … sometimes you can do great things.”
I didn’t understand what he meant, but I nodded.
“I suppose it will have to wait until you’re done with this project though. You’re a bit behind.”
“Ugh!” I pulled my hand from Maxon’s to cover my eyes. I’d completely forgotten about the reception. I looked back at him. “Are they still going to make us do that? There’ve been two rebel attacks, and I spent the majority of my day lost in the woods. We’re going to mess it up.”
Maxon’s face was sympathetic. “You’ll have to push through.”
I let my head flop back on the pillow. “It’s going to be a disaster.”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry. Even if you don’t do as well as the others, I don’t have it in me to kick you out.”
Something in that sounded funny. I sat back up. “Are you saying that if the others do worse, one of them could be kicked out?”
Maxon hesitated a moment, clearly unsure how to respond.
“Maxon?”
He sighed. “I have about two weeks before they expect another cut. This is supposed to be a big part of it. You and Kriss have the harder setup. A new relationship, fewer people to do the work; and while the culture is very celebratory, the Italians are easy to offend. Add to that the fact that you’ve hardly been able to do any work at all …”
I wondered if the blood was visibly draining from my face.
“I’m not supposed to help, but if you need something, p
lease say so. I can’t send either of you home.”
When we’d had our first fight, a stupid spat over Celeste, I thought a piece of me shattered for Maxon. And then when Marlee left so abruptly, I thought it did again. I was sure that every time something blocked my way, bits of my heart were crumbling to nothing. But I was wrong.
There, lying in the hospital wing, my heart broke for the first time over Maxon Schreave. And the ache was unthinkable. Up until then I could convince myself that I’d imagined everything I’d seen between him and Kriss, but now I knew for sure.
He liked her. Maybe as much as he liked me.
I nodded at his offer for help, unable to say anything else.
I told myself to tug my heart back, that he couldn’t have it. Maxon and I started all this as friends, and maybe that’s all we were meant to be: close friends. But I was crushed.
“I should go,” he said. “You need sleep. You had a very long day.”
I rolled my eyes. That wasn’t the half of it.
Maxon stood and straightened his suit. “I wanted to say so much more to you. I really thought I’d lost you today.”
I shrugged. “I’m fine. Really.”
“I can see that now, but there were several hours today when I was forced to brace myself for the worst.” He paused, measuring his words. “Usually, of all the girls, you’re the easiest to talk to about what we are. But I have a feeling that perhaps that’s not the wisest thing to do right now.”
Ducking my head, I gave a slight nod. I couldn’t try to talk about my feelings for a person who obviously had a crush on someone else.
“Look at me, America,” he asked gently.
I did.
“I’m fine with that. I can wait. I just want you to know … I’m not able to find words big enough to express how relieved I am that you’re here, in one piece. I’ve never been so grateful for anything.”
I was stunned into silence, the way I always was when he touched the shy places of my heart. A corner of myself worried at how easily I trusted his words.
“Goodnight, America.”
CHAPTER 18
IT WAS MONDAY NIGHT. OR Tuesday morning. It was so late, it was hard to tell.
Kriss and I had worked all day finding appropriate swaths of fabric, having butlers hang them, choosing our clothes and jewelry, picking china, creating a rough draft of the menu, and listening to a language coach speak lines in Italian to us in the hope that some of it would stick. At least I had the advantage of knowing Spanish, which helped me pick it up faster; they were so similar. Kriss was just doing all she could to keep up.
I ought to have been exhausted, but all I could think about were Maxon’s words.
What had happened with Kriss? Why was she all of the sudden so close to him? Should I even care this much?
But this was Maxon.
And try as I might to pull away, I still cared about him. I wasn’t ready to give up completely.
There had to be a way to figure this out. As I debated everything that was happening, attempting to separate my issues from one another, it looked like all the pieces fell into one of four categories.
My feelings about Maxon. Maxon’s feelings about me. Whatever was going on between Aspen and me. And my feelings about actually becoming a princess.
Of all the things swimming in my head right now, it actually felt like the princess thing might be the easiest to tackle. At least in that area, I had something the other girls didn’t. I had Gregory.
I went over to my piano stool, drew out his diary, and hoped with all my heart that he would have some wisdom for me. He hadn’t been born into royalty; he must have had to adjust. Based on what he’d said in his Halloween entry, he was already preparing for a big change in his future.
I pulled up the covers, protecting the words from the world, and dove in.
I WANT TO EMBODY THE OLD-FASHIONED AMERICAN IDEAL. I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY, AND I’M VERY WEALTHY; AND BOTH OF THOSE THINGS SUIT THIS IMAGE BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T HANDED TO ME. ANYONE WHO SEES ME NOW KNOWS HOW HARD I WORKED FOR WHAT I HAVE.
BUT THE FACT THAT I’VE BEEN ABLE TO USE MY POSITION, TO GIVE SO MUCH WHERE OTHERS EITHER HAVE NOT OR COULD NOT, HAS CHANGED ME FROM SOME FACELESS BILLIONAIRE INTO A PHILANTHROPIST. STILL, I CANNOT REST ON THIS. I NEED TO DO MORE, TO BE MORE. WALLIS IS IN CHARGE, NOT ME, AND I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PROPERLY GIVE THE PUBLIC WHAT THEY NEED WITHOUT BEING SEEN AS A USURPER. A TIME MAY COME WHEN I WILL LEAD AND CAN DO WHAT I SEE FIT. FOR NOW I WILL PLAY BY THE RULES AND GO AS FAR AS I CAN WITH THAT.
I tried to glean some actual wisdom from his words. He said to use your position. He said to play by the rules. He said not to be afraid.
Maybe that should have been enough, but it wasn’t. It didn’t even feel close to helpful. Since Gregory failed me, there was only one other man I could count on. I went over to my desk, pulled out a pen and paper, and scribbled a brief letter to my father.
CHAPTER 19
THE NEXT DAY FLEW BY, and suddenly Kriss and I were arriving at the other girls’ reception in conservative gray dresses.
“What’s the plan?” Kriss asked as we walked down the hall.
I considered for a moment. I disliked Celeste and wouldn’t mind seeing her fail, but I wasn’t sure I wanted her to do it on this grand a scale. “Be polite, but not helpful. Watch Silvia and the queen for cues. Absorb everything we can … and work all night to make ours better.”
“All right.” She sighed. “Let’s go.”
We were on time, as was crucial to the culture, and the girls were already a mess. It was like Celeste was sabotaging herself. Where Elise and Natalie were in respectable deep blues, Celeste’s dress was practically white. Put a veil on her, and this was a wedding. Not to mention how revealing it was, especially when she stood next to any of the German women. Most of them were wearing sleeves to their wrists despite the warm weather.
Natalie had been put in charge of the flowers and missed the detail that lilies were traditionally used at funerals. All the flower arrangements had to be removed hastily.
Elise, though clearly more agitated than she usually was, appeared to be the image of calm. To our guests, she would look like the star.
It was intimidating, trying so hard to communicate with the women from the German Federation—who spoke very broken English—particularly when I had so much Italian in my brain. I tried to be hospitable; and despite their severe appearance, the ladies were actually quite friendly.
It became clear pretty quickly that the true threat of disaster was Silvia and her clipboard. While the queen graciously aided the girls in hosting the German guests, Silvia walked the perimeter of the room, her sharp eyes missing nothing. It seemed she had pages of notes before the event had ended. Kriss and I quickly realized that our only hope was to have Silvia fall in love with our reception.
The next morning, Kriss came to my room with her maids, and we got ready together. We wanted to make an effort to look similar enough so it was clear we were in charge but not so much alike we looked silly. It was kind of fun having so many girls in my room. The maids all knew one another, and they talked animatedly behind us as they worked. It reminded me of how things had felt when May was here.
Hours before our guests were supposed to arrive, Kriss and I made our way to the parlor to double-check everything one last time. Unlike the other reception, we were forgoing place cards and letting our guests sit wherever they liked. The band came to practice in the space, and as a lucky bonus, it seemed our choice of fabrics to cover the bland walls made for great acoustics.
I straightened Kriss’s necklace as we quizzed each other on the conversational phrases one last time. She sounded very natural speaking Italian.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Grazie,” I answered.
“No, no,” she replied, facing me. “I mean thank you. You did an amazing job on this, and … I don’t know. I thought that after Marlee, you might give up. I was afraid that I’d be doing this
alone, but you’ve worked so hard. You’ve done great.”
“Thanks. You have, too. I don’t know if I would have survived if I had to work with Celeste. You made it almost easy.” Kriss smiled. I meant it, too. She was tireless. “And you’re right; it’s been hard without Marlee, but I wouldn’t quit. This is going to be great.”
Kriss bit her lip and considered for a moment. Quickly, as if she might lose her nerve, she spoke. “So you’re still competing then? You still want Maxon?”
It wasn’t like I didn’t know what we were all doing here, but none of the other girls had spoken about it like that. I was caught off guard for a moment, wondering if I should answer her. And, if I did, what would I say?
“Girls!” Silvia trilled, rushing in through the doorway. I’d never been so grateful to see that woman. “It’s nearly time. Are you ready?”
Behind her, the queen came in, a soothing calm to balance Silvia’s energy. She studied the room, admiring our work. It was a huge relief to see her smile.
“Almost ready,” Kriss said. “We just have a few details to take care of. One we specifically need you and the queen for.”
“Oh?” Silvia said curiously.
The queen approached us then, her dark eyes warm with pride. “It’s beautiful. And you both look stunning.”
“Thank you,” we chorused. The pale-blue dresses with large gold accents had been my idea. Festive and lovely, but not too over the top.
“Well, you might notice our necklaces,” Kriss said. “We thought that if they were similar, it would help people identify us as hosts.”
“Excellent idea,” Silvia said, scribbling on her clipboard.
Kriss and I smiled at each other. “Since you are both hosts here, too, we thought you should have ones as well,” I said as Kriss pulled the boxes off the table.
“You didn’t!” The queen gasped.
“For … for me?” Silvia asked.
“Of course,” Kriss said sweetly, handing over the jewelry.
“You’ve both been so helpful. This is your project, too,” I added.
