“Is he watching us? Now?”
“No, man.”
“Who’s out there?”
“Dorje.”
“Ah.” Revik smiled. His eyes flashed with understanding. “Dorje. Sweet, sweet, little Dorje.” He turned towards the microphone embedded in the organic walls, speaking louder, and not to Jon. “Did you like your blow job, Dorje, my brother? I hope it was good… I hope it was really, really good. I am jealous, my brother… jealous.”
Jon shook his head, smiling faintly in spite of himself.
“Nice, man. Classy.”
“Do you have another one in you, Jon?” Revik reached for his belt, his eyes clinical when he raised them in Jon’s direction. Briefly, his hand rested on his crotch. “Somehow I don’t think the missus will oblige. And it’s starting to hurt.”
Jon shook his head again, but his smile faded as he felt his cheeks flush.
Still, he managed to keep his voice casual.
“Don’t get me in trouble with my man, cousin Syrimne,” he said lightly. “I’m in the shithouse as it is, for talking my way into here.”
“Talking?” Revik’s hand remained on his belt, but he raised an eyebrow, taking another drag off the hiri as he leaned against the wall. He kept his legs somewhat splayed, and Jon couldn’t help but notice he had an erection. “Is that the slang the kids are using these days? How are your conversation skills holding up, Jon? Must still be decent, if he let you in here.”
At Jon’s averted gaze, Revik lowered his voice, letting it turn cajoling.
“I’ve been told I’m a really good talker, myself,” he said. “I think you even told me that, once. What do you say? I won’t hurt you, Jon. Promise. Not unless you want me to.”
“Whatever.” Jon felt himself getting impatient. Realizing the seer was pulling a number on him, collared or not, he shook it off, meeting the other’s gaze. “Don’t you want to talk to me, man? Not even a little? Or would you rather sit in here all day, alone, chained to a wall, dreaming of eating Balidor’s intestines or whatever?”
His mouth hardened to a line before he added, gesturing towards the seer’s crotch,
“…Or playing at petty acts of revenge towards Allie, like pretending to seduce me?”
Revik glanced up at him, and for an instant, Jon saw his friend in his eyes.
“What are they going to do to me, Jon?”
Jon sighed. “She’s trying to help you, man.”
“Really? Is that what this is about?”
“That’s all this has ever been about. You must know that. Somewhere in your fucked up, paranoid head.”
“Really?” Revik said. “So my wife’s trying to help me? What a relief.”
The kaleidoscope turned.
Jon watched the seer’s face warily, seeing the confused anger flash more intensely behind that cold gaze, eclipsing the grief he’d seen there, along with a heavier emotion that looked almost like futility. Revik shook his head, and the light behind his eyes changed channels once more. A humorless smile came to his lips.
“Now that you mention it, I think you’re right, Jon,” he said. “I’m sure that’s what this is about. Riding that Adhipan’s cock. Getting all my people killed. Putting a collar on me and chaining me in a cage. It’s all been such a tremendous help to me, Jon.”
“She hates you being in here.”
“So much so, she’s probably blowing that fucker right now,” Revik said.
“You know that’s not what’s happening.” Seeing the Elaerian’s flat look, Jon amended, “Well, you should know. You would know, if you weren’t batshit fucking crazy.”
“Fuck you.”
“We already covered that. I believe the answer was no.”
Instead of smiling, Revik narrowed his gaze, eyes hard. “She slept with him. She admitted it to me, Jon. Hell… I felt it on her. I felt him inside her. She liked it.”
Jon winced, feeling that grief on him again.
“I’m sorry, man. I really am.”
“Sorry doesn’t mean shit, Jon. She betrayed me. Lied to me––”
“Yeah.” Jon nodded, his jaw hardening. “She did a lot of things to get you out of there. She probably would have slept with a lot more people, if that’s what it took. Your whole damned regiment, if need be.”
Seeing something flicker in the other’s eyes, he frowned.
“Jesus, Revik. Are you telling me you don’t get that she risked her life, pretty much every day… for months… to get you out of there? And, oh yeah, didn’t you do something similar once? Like sleep with a whole room full of people to get her away from Terian in D.C.?”
Revik shook his head angrily, his eyes cold.
“Don’t tell yourself it’s not the same, Revik. It is.”
“She lied to me.”
“Yeah,” Jon said, nodding emphatically. “Yeah, man. She lied to you. That’s what you do when you’re trying to talk a crazy person out of crazy land. You lie to them, pretend you’re crazy, too. Otherwise, you’re one of THEM, you know?”
Revik gave him an irritated look, taking another drag of the hiri. “That’s not funny, Jon.”
“And weirdly, here I am, not laughing.”
Revik’s eyes grew flint-like. His voice sharpened.
“What are they going to do to me, Jon?”
Jon hesitated, watching the pale eyes of the seer. The man shackled in front of him still seemed to be shifting in and out of moods, in and out of flashes of anger, but for the first time, Jon saw real fear join the whispers of other emotions clouding that still gaze.
“Is she going to split me again?” Revik said, blunt. “Is she going to bury me down in a fucking hole again, Jon?”
Jon’s brow cleared.
“No, man,” he said, gently. “No, she won’t do that. A few of the others talked about trying something similar, but she said no. She was dead against it, Revik.”
“You’re sure about that? You wouldn’t lie to me, Jon?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you, man. Not about this.”
There was a silence.
In it, Jon watched the male seer stare at the floor, the hiri burning down between his fingers. It occurred to him that the other man was breathing harder, having some kind of reaction that didn’t quite show on his face, or in his eyes. Jon watched his shoulders gradually relax. It didn’t diminish the more unreadable wariness of his face, but it seemed to coincide with a heavy, if almost invisible, exhale.
It was as if a weight of… something… had just lifted off him.
A few more seconds passed.
Then Jon saw Revik nod, seemingly to himself.
Looking up, he clicked his fingers at Jon, gesturing that he wanted another hiri.
Jon threw him one from the full pack in his pocket. He watched Revik light it off the end of the first one he’d given him, as soon as he’d plucked it off the floor.
“Then what?” Revik said, his voice businesslike. He finished lighting the hiri. Stubbing out the old one, he exhaled smoke. “What will they do?”
“I don’t know the details, man.”
“You know something. Or you wouldn’t be here.”
Jon shook his head, but raised his hands in a gesture of defeat. “I know she’s going to try and undo it. That’s all I know. Honestly.”
“Undo it?” Revik stared at him. “Undo what?”
As he looked at Jon, the human found himself briefly caught there, in that stare. Revik’s clear eyes showed a near openness, despite the confusion they held, that odd profusion of emotion and thought. In it, Jon was startled to see an almost childlike vulnerability. He wondered at first if it was a ruse of some kind, but looking at his eyes, he decided it wasn’t.
It struck him again how afraid some part of Revik had been of that cave.
“Undo what, Jon?”
“Whatever they did to you, man.”
Jon’s voice grew gentle again.
“They don’t want to hurt you, Revik. She doesn’t want to h
urt you.”
Revik stared at him, but didn’t answer.
Looking at that young, open expression on the Elaerian’s face, Jon had an urge to touch him, strong enough that he shifted in his seat, clenching his hands. Feeling overcame him in the same instant, a sharp wave of compassion strong enough to reach his voice.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you, Revik. Not if I can help it.”
He cleared his throat, gesturing vaguely towards him.
“…All I know is, she wants to help you undo whatever they did to your mind. She and Vash are working on some kind of plan to help you break free of them. For good.”
There was another silence.
For a moment, Jon saw his friend in those eyes again.
Then the fragments shifted. Jon watched the openness vanish under a collection of darker masks, buried until it was hard to remember what it had looked like.
The new Revik shook his head, clicking in a humor that wasn’t really humor. Jon saw that hard, metallic light in his eyes, dimming the softer light they’d held only a second before.
“That’s bullshit, Jon. Propaganda.”
“Propaganda?” Jon still stared at the other’s face in disbelief, trying to follow the sudden change. “Propaganda for what?”
“You’re believing the Seven’s lies. Just like she is.” His eyes hardened. “It’s bullshit. Conformist crap. They want you to believe their way is the only way, Jon.”
“Who does?”
“The Council of Seven. And their dogs, the Adhipan.”
Jon just looked at him for a moment, his brow furrowed.
“So Vash is a diabolical mastermind?” he said. “Really? Because he seems an awful lot like a nice old guy in a robe. I’ve seen him laugh just staring at his own toes, Revik.”
Revik gave him a flat look. “I’m saying, it’s an ideology. It’s not real, Jon. Vash is victim to it as much as the rest of them are. Even with his wisdom, he is subject to the ideologies imposed on him. I mean him no disrespect. I believe Vash is a good man… and a gifted seer. But he is a product of his generation.”
“Really? His generation, huh?” Jon tried to wade through the seer’s words, to understand the logic that tied them together.
Oddly, he recognized that Revik was actually being friendly towards him.
In his own way, he was trying to teach him something again, to let him in on the secret truth he saw Jon as missing.
“Okay,” Jon said. “So we’re clear. All that good and evil stuff, right and wrong, treat others decently, it’s just crazy, huh? Not real?”
“No,” Revik said, looking at him. “It isn’t.”
“So everything you told me before. What you taught me while we were in Terian’s cell, and later, in London. That was all bullshit, too?”
Revik’s mouth tightened.
For an instant, Jon thought he might react, get angry once more. Then he seemed to shrug it away with his other hand, seer-fashion.
“If you mean before I got my memory back, then yes. I was brainwashed too, Jon.”
“Uh-huh. Got it.” Jon continued to look at him, pursing his lips. Then, as if conceding the point, he shrugged. “Fine. Okay. You were brainwashed. I could buy that. After all, that’s what we’re saying about you now… and if it’s true, of course we’d believe you were the one brainwashed, not us, right?”
When the seer didn’t answer, Jon counted off with his fingers.
“Vash is brainwashed. Allie, too. And me, of course.”
He laced his fingers together, gazing at the Elaerian’s face.
“I suppose it goes without saying that all humans are brainwashed? And any of the seers who follow Code? And any seer who’s ever worked with humans?”
Revik leveled his stare on him once more.
“I thought you weren’t going to try and fuck with my head, Jon?” he said, exhaling another drag off the hiri. “Or did you imagine my IQ dropped about 100 points, since they locked me up in here?”
“I’m not fucking with you, man,” Jon said, exasperated. “I’m just trying to make a point.”
“Little heavy with the hammer on that one, Jon. But yes, I take your point.”
“Well, let me ask you something else, then,” Jon said. “Do you remember what you told me about the Dreng, Revik? When we were still in that prison. With Terian?”
Revik shook his head. “No.”
“No?”
“I can guess, Jon.”
“You don’t have to,” Jon said. “I remember exactly what you said. I remember it perfectly.” His voice sharpened. “You told me the Dreng were soulless Barrier beings who couldn’t produce any light of their own, so they were forced to steal it from others.”
When Revik clicked at him impatiently, Jon held up a hand, raising his voice.
“…You also told me that the functionality of the Pyramid consisted mostly of scraps they threw to their faithful seer-puppets down here. That they’d built the Pyramid mainly as a way to channel light effectively to themselves… that they’d created these large feeding pools of humans, and that the Dreng pretty much just fed off them, 24/7. You also said they’d feed off their own seers happily enough, if they didn’t need them to keep the humans in line.”
“Jon––”
“You said they were parasites, Revik. Soulless. Dead. Parasites.”
Revik clicked at him again. “Symbiosis, Jon.”
“What?” Jon’s voice grew incredulous. “What does that mean?”
“It means seers benefitted from the relationship, too.” Revik’s eyes met Jon’s, holding a deliberate patience. “You want things to be black and white that just aren’t black and white. The world is more complicated than you want. It’s more complicated than most seers in the Seven want. Than Allie wants. Many seers were rescued by the Rooks. Many, many seers. They did a lot of good.”
“Rescued?” Jon stared at him. “From what? To what?”
“You are talking about things you don’t understand.”
“I understand just fine. I just wish you’d listen to yourself, man.”
Revik’s anger sparked. For the first time, his control over it snapped.
“So you are saying I did no good, just now? No good at all?” His accent grew stronger again, harsher. “You are saying the Registry job… this is all bullshit? That I saved no seers? That no one has a better life because of this?”
“No, man.” Jon shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what? I am the bad guy now? I do it the wrong way, saving lives?”
Jon gripped his own hair in frustration, then let it go with a noisy exhale.
“I’m saying you can’t live off another being’s scraps,” he said. “That’s not free will, man. That’s slavery. And there’s no way you’re going to convince me that a bunch of parasites like that have your best interests at heart. They’ll reward you, like a good dog… no offense… but they’ll shoot you just as fast if you do something that pisses them off. I don’t think that kind of shortcut ever pays off, Revik. Not in the long run.”
Rather than being offended, Revik only smiled, clicking again.
It was an indulgent, condescending smile.
“You have learned well, Jon. Speaking of dogs.”
“So,” Jon prompted, refusing to rise. “You’re going to tell me beings like that… beings who aren’t alive, strictly speaking… who are just looking for ways to suck light off humans and seers, and to do so permanently, with a bunch of seer lackeys and a few thousand all-human light smorgasbords to supply their bottomless light habit… you’re telling me every job they give you is going to be a Mother Theresa type thing?”
Revik turned on him, eyes blazing. “You are missing the point, Jon.”
“Am I? Enlighten me, O Mighty Syrimne––”
“The Registry job was mine, Jon!” he snapped, slamming a fist against the floor. “Mine! Not the fucking Dreng’s! Not Salinse’s! It was my idea! I planned it! I executed
it!”
Jon flinched as the chains smacked the organic floor.
Then, playing back his words, he shrugged, unimpressed. “So they let you plan your own ops? How nice of them.”
“I’m nobody’s fucking slave, Jon!”
“Bullshit. You’re lying to yourself, man!” Jon said. “How do you explain how you ran back to them like you did? You abandoned your wife… your friends. You abandoned everything you claimed to care about. And for what? Allie told me Menlim tortured you. For years, he tortured you. He did everything but kill you in an attempt to break your will.”
Revik shook his head, clicking impatiently. “She is exaggerating.”
“Bullshit,” Jon snapped. “Don’t lie to me, man!”
“She doesn’t know. She wasn’t there, Jon.”
“Yeah, so if anything she doesn’t know the extent of it,” Jon said. “I saw you with Terian. I believe her, man. I think you could have withstood ten Terians, after what those sadistic fuckers did to you. And you go to them for help? You decide to join that little army again?”
“Menlim wasn’t there!”
“So you go to his family? How does that work?”
“You are a child, Jon,” Revik said, his voice cold. “You want a child’s explanations for things that are more complex… things that require more gradations in meaning. They had the resources I needed to make a difference. They were different people… under different leadership. They put me in charge. I’m not a goddamned child anymore, Jon! These aren’t the people who did that to me! I know Allie never understood that, but it is because she is a child, too!”
Jon watched the anger worsen in the other’s eyes, but he saw the confusion there again, too. Gradually, both began to recede behind one of the harder masks.
Finally, Revik shrugged with one hand, taking another drag of the hiri.
His voice grew calm.
“Even if any of what you are saying is true,” he said, gesturing dismissively with his fingers. “She can’t help me, Jon. Not if I’m understanding your meaning of ‘help’ in this context.”
He exhaled another plume of honey-scented smoke.
“In fact,” he added. “I honestly don’t really know what that would mean. Before, the Council tried to do a number of things to me, and none of it––”
Shadow (Bridge & Sword: Awakenings #4): Bridge & Sword World Page 8
