I felt my breath catch, right before his tongue grazed my throat.
“You said you loved me,” he said, softer still. He kissed my ear, breathing words against my skin. “You said you’d never leave me, Allie… that you’d do anything for me.”
I met his gaze, directly that time, and felt my heart clench.
His eyes were empty, his clear irises a shining cold that looked almost dead. I saw nothing in that stare. Not just nothing I knew––nothing at all. It felt like they’d killed him. It felt like he was dead, and all that remained was the shell. I fought back the pain that tried to take over my light, holding that vacant stare.
He smiled, pressing against me. His light coiled deeper, until it felt like a part of him was already inside me, already forcing its way into my body through my light.
I let out a low gasp, unable to hold it in.
“Are you really going to rape me, Revik?”
He smiled. “Is that what this is?”
Raising his head, he shrugged, removing his hand. Sliding his fingers between his lips, he sucked on on them briefly, using his tongue. He smiled at me after he had, using the same hand to caress the hair out of my eyes.
“You came to me, love,” he reminded me.
“I thought you wanted to kill me.”
The glass-like stare met mine.
“Give me head, and I’ll play your little game,” he said. “I’ll let you mindfuck me, or torture me. Whatever you want, Allie. But I want a blowjob first. A good one. A really, really good one. I want you to make me black out when I come, wife.”
I clicked at him, shaking my head in irritation.
Watching his face warily, I tried to decide if he really had reconsidered hurting me, or if this was just him circling around the same game.
Then I decided it didn’t matter.
Trying to second-guess him was a waste of time, too.
His light coiled through mine, still pulling at me, sliding over my skin.
I felt it winding around the light in my legs, moving through my abdomen to my chest, my throat, my hands. He gripped my wrist tighter as the pull grew more insistent, until I found myself wondering if it was affecting him, even through the collar. His weight grew heavier even as I thought it, and I found myself thinking that the coldness in his eyes had receded somewhat, shimmering more distantly in the background.
His eyes shifted to my mouth.
I saw him focus there, right before they closed, longer than a blink. When he pressed against me that time, he was hard.
“Gods,” he said. “Give me head, wife.”
With him so close, looking at me like that, I felt my skin flush.
“Revik––”
“I’ll turn my back,” he offered with a faint grin. “Away from the window. So your boyfriend doesn’t have to watch.”
My eyes flickered back up to his. I gauged the smile on his face with some impatience.
“You can’t possibly believe that,” I said. “Even you can’t.”
“That he won’t watch?”
“That he’s my boyfriend.”
The coldness cycled back to the forefront of his gaze. “Give me head, wife, or I’ll break your fucking mouth.”
“Go ahead.”
He stared down at me, his light eyes flickering from one of mine to the other. I felt surprise curl off his light, a near puzzlement.
“You want me to kill you, don’t you?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I just want this part out of the way.”
“This… part?”
“Yeah. You know.” I blew out my cheeks a little, clicking. “You threaten me. Tell me you want me dead, that I’m a whore, that I deserve to have my face carved up. The whole Dreng litany. ‘I’ll play with your insides, kill all your friends’ bullshit. I figure you have to get it out of your system. I’d rather just get it over with.”
He stared down at me, his face unmoving, only a few inches above mine.
Swallowing a little at his expression, I shrugged from where he held my arm.
“I knew you wouldn’t ever really be satisfied with threats alone. So if you want to punch me, rape me, break a bone or two, degrade me… go for it. It’s better than having to listen to you go on and on about it for the next however-many weeks.”
He surprised me, bursting out in a laugh.
“But you won’t give me head?” he smiled.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes, puffing my cheeks again, seer fashion. “If it’s absolutely necessary to make you feel like you’re in control, I’ll do it, Revik.”
He laughed again, and that time, I heard genuine enjoyment in it.
“Gods,” he said, caressing my face. “I think I will fuck you. You can read whatever into it you like, wife.”
I felt my heart break out in a panicked hammering in my chest.
He caught hold of my other wrist before I could twist it away, pinning it with the same hand as the other. He moved methodically, almost businesslike as he untied the scarf I’d been using as a belt, yanking it from around my waist before he used it to tie my wrists together, his eyes briefly concentrated as he wove the fabric between and around them and then pulled the ends into a hard knot, yanking it tight enough that I gasped.
I fought to writhe away from him, but he caught hold of the front of my pants, using them to pull me back towards him, then yanking the thin fabric down my body.
Through all of it, he didn’t look at my face.
I bit my lip to keep from telling him to stop, trying to control my own reactions to what he was doing, even as I struggled against him. What I’d said had mostly been a bluff, but I couldn’t quite keep my cool when he started unhooking the front of his pants.
“Revik, don’t…”
“You said I could, love. You gave me permission.”
“I know I did, but please. Don’t…”
“You’re only making my cock harder, love.”
“Revik. Not here. Not in front of them.”
He only laughed, pushing the shirt up my body deliberately.
“Every seer in that room has a hard-on right now, wife. I guarantee it.”
Just then, there was a metallic clanging sound.
The round hatch of the door opened.
I turned my head as Revik did, and saw four Adhipan seers standing there. Whoever was behind them closed the door once they were inside, probably to keep up the Barrier shield, which only remained intact for a few seconds once the seal was broken.
“Deghoies.”
The voice came over the loudspeaker, echoing in the hollow walls of the tank.
It was unmistakably Balidor.
I flinched. Still, my trick with the gas must have held, or they would have dosed us both by now. As it was, the four guards were walking cautiously towards both of us, three with electric rods held out.
Poresh held a rifle, likely loaded with some kind of tranquilizer.
Even as I thought it, he fired. The gun emitted a soft whoosh sound, strangely quiet.
A blue-tipped dart hit Revik in the neck. He yanked it out swiftly, crushing the vial with his fingers. He laughed then, looking up at the four guards, wrapping his hand back around my throat.
“You willing to risk your precious Bridge?” he taunted them. “Come on Pori. Dart me again. How many, do you think, before I go down? Do you really think I’ll pass out before I can crush her windpipe?”
Balidor’s voice rose over the intercom once more.
“Dehgoies. Let her go.”
Revik smiled, looking up towards the sound. He barely paused as he finished undoing the front of his pants, still holding my throat in his other hand. He barely seemed to notice my attempts to get my legs out from under his, to kick him off me.
“You’re just in time, ‘Dori,” he said, pushing me to my back.
“Dehgoies, don’t!” Tenzi said. He held up his hand, the one holding the electric rod. “We won’t hurt you. We won’t! Just let her go.”
Rolling over with me under him, Revik used his weight and his knees and hand to force my legs apart. Positioning himself between my thighs, he paused long enough to yank at the top edge of my underwear, ripping it on one side. He shifted his hold on my arms, using his weight to pin me before he rested a hand on my hip.
“Dehgoies,” Balidor’s voice echoed. “Whatever she says, this will have a price tag attached you won’t want to pay.”
Revik hung there poised, pausing to smile again at the organic wall.
“You want to see her whimper again, my brother. Is that it?”
“We can beat you into a bloody coma. Every day if we want.”
Revik laughed. “If you didn’t want me fucking your girlfriend, ‘Dori, you shouldn’t have let her in here alone. You must have known she’d come to me eventually.” He grinned down at me. “Isn’t that right, love?”
I didn’t answer, but felt my jaw harden.
Poresh hit Revik with another dart. Revik removed it from his neck, crushing that one as well. Poresh aimed another that Revik tried to dodge, but it caught in his hand until he jerked out the needle, tossing it onto the organic floor.
“Just a few more minutes…” Revik said, panting. “Just give me a few more minutes with the missus, boys. Then I’ll behave. Promise…”
I saw from his eyes that the darts were affecting him, but not enough. I could hear the four infiltrators in the Barrier. They were trying to decide if they could risk rushing him, or if Revik would hurt me before they could separate us.
Even as I thought it, Revik’s light flooded into mine again, seemingly against his will.
He let out another low gasp, even though I couldn’t be sure how much he felt through the collar. I saw pain flicker over his features, just before it expanded like water into my light. I was gasping then, I couldn’t help it. Holding my bound arms, then my throat, he pushed my legs wider apart. Briefly, I felt him lose control.
I felt myself opening to him, and he seemed to notice that, because he let out another half-gasp.
That one, he turned into a laugh.
“Tell me you love me, wife.”
“I love you.”
He laughed again, harsher that time.
Balidor’s voice rose.
“I’ll put you on wires, brother. I’ll do it personally. For months if I have to. You won’t be able to feed yourself. You’ll beg us for the next fix.”
Revik glanced up at the camera again, smiling. As he did, he maneuvered his way into me, entering me all the way before my brain caught up with what he was doing. His whole back arched once he was fully inside. The hard end of him extended almost the instant he had, going so far into me I felt my aleimi flare out.
I cried out, my back arching my hips further against him.
Briefly, his eyes closed.
“Gods,” he said, looking up at the camera again. Panting, he let out a low sound. “I forgot how fucking good this feels. You don’t need me to tell you that, though, do you, brother Balidor? Even collared, I could come right now. I really could.”
Gripping my wrists, he slammed into me harder, closing his eyes longer than a blink.
“You sure you’re fucking her often enough, though, brother?” he said, gasping. “She’s awfully tight.”
That time, Balidor didn’t answer.
I tried not to think about the seers on the other side of the organic wall.
Or my brother.
Just then, Tenzi rushed him.
He and Illeg closed the last yards while Revik’s eyes were half-lidded over me. Revik still held my throat, but his fingers had loosened, resting at the base of my neck. He probably still could have crushed my windpipe, but instead he laughed when he saw them coming.
The next thing I knew, they’d hit and dragged him off me.
I rolled under them and away, looking back even as I struggled to tug up my pants with my bound wrists. By then, Illeg and Tenzi were already tagging him with the electric prods.
I climbed to my feet, still struggling to get out of the scarf. When I couldn’t, I backed off until I stood outside the painted circle on the floor.
A part of me couldn’t believe what had just happened.
Another part couldn’t believe it was over, that I was just standing there, watching them force him back. I didn’t move, paralyzed as they hit him again and again with the rods, until he was pinned up against the wall, holding up a cuffed hand, protecting his head.
He looked drugged now, only half-conscious.
He was still laughing though, gasping as Tenzi hit him again with the electric rod.
I was still just standing there, numb, when the hatch door opened behind me.
I turned in time to see Balidor’s face.
He’d crossed most of the floor before I realized what he intended to do. Seeing the look in his eyes, I tried to get between him and Revik.
“No!” I yelled, grabbing the front of his shirt with my still-bound hands. “Balidor… no! He’s down! He’s down!”
Balidor shoved me aside without looking me directly in the face.
His feet never changed course as he walked straight up to Revik. He was kicking him against the wall before I could think to do anything but yell at the others to stop him. He kicked him in the ribs, in the thighs, in the abdomen, bending down to punch him in the face.
I watched, numb again, as Illeg and Poresh dragged Balidor off.
Revik sat up once Balidor was off him. Pulling up his pants, he wiped the blood off his mouth with the back of a hand, smiling up at the Adhipan leader.
“Something bothering you, brother?”
“You goddamned little prick!” Balidor snarled. He was too enraged to speak clearly, to force out words. He kicked Revik again, hard, in the thigh, before Tenzi jerked him back. “You’re out of lives, Rook,” he growled. “I’ll see you dead if it’s the last thing I fucking do.”
Revik smiled at him, leaning against the wall.
“Temper, temper, brother Balidor,” he said. “Remember, your girlfriend can’t live without me.” His smile widened. “…In more ways than one, it appears. Or did you miss that little whimper of hers when I got all the way in?” He winked at me, his eyes cold. “Isn’t that right, love? Isn’t that why you really came to me?”
Closing my eyes, I looked away, keeping my expression still.
“We’re done in here.” I gave Balidor a hard look. “We’re done, ‘Dori. I want you and your people out of here. Now.”
Balidor gave me a look that actually made me flinch.
Swallowing, I firmed my jaw.
“It’s over,” I told him.
I subdued my voice that time, trying to reassure him with my eyes.
It didn’t work. If anything, the fury in his expression only worsened.
Only when Tenzi started pulling him backwards did Balidor finally turn away. Jerking free of the other’s hold, he walked out of the tank as quickly as he’d walked in.
I saw Revik’s smile widen as he left.
“Be seeing you, brother,” Revik called after him, right as Balidor reached the door. “Thanks for the loan. It wasn’t quite long enough though, brother. I might need to borrow her again.”
The door shut with a hollow clang, and Revik chuckled.
Biting my lip, I didn’t look at him directly as Poresh finished unknotting the scarf from around my wrists. Once he had, I tied up my pants and pulled my shirt down over the top of them. Unable to think of a better time or way to exit, I finally just looked to Poresh and Illeg, signaling with my hand for them to leave with me.
“Come visit me anytime, wife,” Revik said, smiling. “Anytime at all.”
Without looking at him, I walked straight for the round hatch.
I managed to get outside without changing facial expression, but only just. Poresh and Illeg trailed silently behind me, locking the tank’s door once we were all on the other side.
When I turned around from watching them, I found m
yself standing in the security chamber, facing a room full of seers––and Jon, who wouldn’t look at me, at least not directly.
For a long moment, no one said anything.
Looking around at faces, I couldn’t help feeling a little sick, realizing what they’d seen through that organic pane.
But it was too late to regret anything now.
I’d gotten what I wanted. More or less.
Revik might not feel exactly like himself, like either of the men I remembered, but I could feel him again.
I could feel him in my light.
14
WORRY ABOUT YOU
LISTENING TO THE other seer yell at me, I held my head and my tongue, watching him pace in front of the low mattress in my room.
I tried to remind myself he was worried. I tried to remind myself that both men standing in front of me were worried. They were also upset, probably completely freaked out at what they’d just seen, and blindsided since I’d deliberately not told them I intended to do it.
Even so, I wished Cass was there. It would have bothered her too, but she would have listened to me, at least. She would have understood why I’d done it.
More than anything though, I just wanted to be alone.
I wanted a shower. I wanted to change my clothes.
I wanted them to leave so I could regain control of my light, collect it back around myself enough that I could think. I wanted about an hour to remember who I was, before all of this.
But they didn’t leave.
Finally, after another ten minutes or so, my patience began to thin.
“You knew this would be ugly!” I said, breaking into one of his tirades. I looked up, meeting his gray eyes in frustration. “‘Dori, we talked about this! You said yourself this would bring out every ugly thing buried in him, that he would pull out the stops, trying to drive me away. That he’d do whatever he could to make me hate him.”
“I didn’t expect to have to stand there and watch him rape you!”
I shook my head, clicking angrily as I folded my arms.
“Alyson, we heard everything. Everything you said to one another. Are you going to tell me you did not provoke him to do this?”
Shadow (Bridge & Sword: Awakenings #4): Bridge & Sword World Page 14
