by Dahlia Adler
“Just wandering,” I confirm. “I mean, there’s always plenty to do and lots of people around. But yeah, I wanna see new stuff. Do new stuff. Have experiences and shit. Maybe even do some volunteer stuff so I can see what it’s like not to be an asshole for five minutes.”
“Deep,” Liam says with a nod.
K-drama rolls her eyes. “So, basically, we’re here to help you set up for another massive party to send you off?”
“Nope.” I sweep my arm over the table. “This is it. Welcome to my goodbye party.”
“This?” Her eyebrows shoot up. “No one’s eating swords or doing body shots off a Victoria’s Secret model.”
I shrug. “New plan, new Josh.”
Suddenly, the skepticism falls off her face, and her eyes widen a little. “Wait. When are you leaving?”
“The new owners of the house take over on December 1 to redo it. I sure as hell don’t wanna be here for that, so, as soon as possible, basically.”
She knots her fingers in her lap, a weirdly nervous gesture, and I can’t help smiling. She is so gonna miss me. I take another swig of champagne as she says, “Can you stay until then, though?”
“Suddenly realizing you’re gonna be sad and bored without me, K-drama?”
“Actually…” Her eyes dart to Liam, then back to me. “There’s something I need to do. And I need to do it next week, while Ally’s home for Thanksgiving. And I’d really, really like for you to be here, too. It’d mean a lot to me.”
It’s obvious from Liam’s face that he’s completely confused, but I’m not. Not for a second. I reach over and cover her nervously twisting hands, squeezing. “Yeah,” I say quietly. “I’ll stick around for that.”
“What am I missing?” asks Liam, looking between the two of us, then dropping his eyes to our clasped fingers.
“I’ll fill you in as soon as I fill your girlfriend in first,” she promises. “I just want to talk to her in person.”
He nods, already over it. “Cool.” Then he puts his burger down. “It’s weird, you know? I feel like you guys are figuring all this shit out lately. I’m kinda jealous.”
“You?” I snort. “Dude, you’ve, like, set up your whole life already in the past few months.”
He shrugs. “Not really. I mean, yeah, I’ve figured out that I wanna do movies, and that I’m not so into being a teen heartthrob or whatever. And obviously I know I wanna be with Ally. But…I dunno. It’s tough to do it all, ya know?”
Vanessa smiles as she squeezes my hand one more time before pulling it back to nab another fry, and at the same time, we say, “Hashtag LiamProblems.”
There isn’t a lot I’ll miss about being here, I know, but this little party is to say goodbye to the few things I will. And it’s not exactly the most kickass shindig I’ve ever thrown, but I feel pretty sure it’s the right way to go.
The next week, as I open yet another bottle of champagne with Liam and K-drama—this one in a limo, en route to LAX—I’m glad I stuck around for just a little longer.
“Shouldn’t we wait until we actually get Ally before opening the champagne?” asks Liam, frowning as he looks down at his phone like he can make it light up with a sext from sheer force of will.
“I have another one,” I assure him as I pass the bottle directly to K-drama, knowing she could use the liquid courage. “This one’s just to get us into the celebratory spirit.”
“I still can’t believe you got her parents to let us pick her up,” Liam says to her. “I barely got them to agree to relinquish her to me for Saturday night.”
“I’m practically Pam’s third daughter,” she tells him, taking a swig from the bottle. I happen to know she told Ally’s mom exactly why we need to pick her up from the airport, but she’s still trying to keep that information quiet until she gets to tell Ally in person.
“Yeah, yeah.” Liam grins and grabs the champagne, then takes a long drink. He looks the happiest I’ve seen him in months. “You excited for your trip?”
“You know it. Had to sell some shit in order to finance some of the finer things, but when I think about the fact that this time next week, I’ll be on the North Shore…yeah, it’s worth it.” I take the bottle from Liam, but I only sip. These are the last couple of days I’ll have with my friends for a while, and for once, I wanna have a clear head. “You sure you don’t wanna come with?”
“I’m sure I’ll end up meeting you somewhere,” he says, glancing at his phone again. “Once I’ve got these movies behind me, I’m definitely gonna chill for a bit. But…”
“But you’re gonna be chillin’ in NYC,” I finish for him, and it’s gratifying to see him blush a little in the dim interior of the limo.
“I think so, yeah.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I’m hoping to talk to Ally about it this weekend. She seems to like doing the whole dorm thing, so I don’t know if she’ll want to get a place together or anything, but I think me having one there will be good. Somewhere I can go when I’m not filming Daylight, maybe do some stuff shooting there instead. Anyway, it’s not like you’ll be in LA, so…”
“Truth.” I take a longer swig of the champagne this time. “It’s weird how other people have real roots here, isn’t it?”
“Well, you seem to have an unexpected one these days,” he says, keeping his voice low as he nods at where K-drama is spacing out, staring at the lights of LA through the tinted windows. “Are you sure you’re not hooking up?”
“Dude, no. Definitely not. Never have, never will.” And in about an hour, you’ll know exactly why.
“You try?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to admit that I did once, that day in her bedroom after I saw her with Mini-Jade in my guest house, but it hits me that…no, I didn’t. I told her I was into her, but I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t touch her. I didn’t even attempt a move. If anything, I sent her straight back to Brianna. And I’m not sorry about it.
Somewhere along the way, the thought of kissing her became sort of…gross.
“Oh God.”
Liam leans toward me anxiously. “What?”
I lean in to meet him and keep my voice low. “I think I might…love K-drama. Like, as a friend. Is that a thing? Like, with girls? Can you do that? Without wanting to fuck them and stuff?”
Liam’s loud laughter fills the limo.
“What’s so funny?” K-drama asks, sounding a little dazed.
“I think our little Joshie’s growing up.” Liam grabs the champagne from me and lifts it in the air. “Something we can all drink to.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Vanessa
The knit cap on my head itches as I make my way through the crowd at LAX to the reception area for Ally’s flight, but it’s worth it—nobody’s stopped me yet. Of course, that might be because people care more about reuniting with their families for Thanksgiving than one of a billion C-list actresses being in their midst, but I prefer to think it’s the knit cap.
It’s probably my very last day of being able to fly under the radar, and I’m determined to make the most of it.
I hold up the sign I brought with me—“Duncan” in big block letters—and try to stop my hands from shaking. Liam and Josh agreed to wait in the limo while I got her so we could have a little time alone to talk, but now I’m wishing I had some company to keep my mind off our impending conversation.
Just then, my phone buzzes with a text, and I look down and smile at Bri’s message.
Stop being so nervous. Ally’s your best friend, and she loves you. No matter what.
Another text follows a few seconds later.
I’m the one who should be nervous. I have to pass the best friend test. Which means you need to save me some of whatever alcohol Josh Chester has poured down your throat in preparation.
I laugh as I type back, Do you have a camera on me or something?
Yes, she responds immediately. And your legs look great in that dress.
Nice try—jeans.
; I tried. Willing to bet your legs still look great.
A cloud of butterflies takes flight in my stomach, and I think, Ally will love you. She has to. Because I’m pretty sure I do.
All I actually write back is, Cute.
This time her response takes a minute, and I crane my neck to look for my best friend’s familiar auburn waves to no avail. Then my phone buzzes again.
I am, aren’t I?
The text is accompanied by a picture of Bri perched on her bed, wearing a little Nirvana T-shirt and even littler shorts, her black-framed glasses, and a pair of headphones. She’s not wearing any makeup, and she’s childishly sticking out her tongue, and she looks so beautiful I have to curl my toes in my sneakers to keep myself from running to the limo and demanding it take me straight to her.
God, yes, you really are.
“Van?” I look up, and there’s Ally, looking ten shades paler and somehow five years more sophisticated than when she left. I slip my phone in my back pocket, drop the sign, and accept a hug that nearly tackles me to the ground while both of us crack up. “What are you doing here? I thought my parents were getting me.”
“I asked if I could,” I say, readjusting my cap and drawing her away from the crowd. “I needed to talk to you about something, and I really couldn’t wait.”
“Is everything okay?”
“That…is a really, really good question.” I can’t help breaking into a laugh, which makes her cock her head like I might be crazy. “Yes, it’s more than okay. I’m hoping it’ll stay that way.”
“You’re kind of freaking me out. Whatever it is, just say it.”
I still haven’t said the actual words aloud to another person; I think I’ve been waiting for Ally to be the first to hear them. But now that the time has come, I can’t even get them out. Instead, a single word emerges from my lips. “Ukelele.”
The bag she’d been carrying hits the floor. “Vanessa Hyun-Jung Park,” she whispers fiercely, yanking me even closer. “You had sex? With Zander?”
I shake my head.
“Please, please do not tell me you had sex with Josh Chester.”
And just like that, any fear I have of telling Ally about Bri lifts from my shoulders. Because after that, there’s really nowhere to go but up. “I did not, nor will I ever, have sex with Josh Chester,” I assure her.
“Then—”
“Bri, Ally.” My eyes dart around to make sure no one’s listening, but no one cares about two teenage girls standing in the corner of crazed LAX the night before Thanksgiving. “I had sex with Bri. I’m with Bri. That’s what I had to tell you.” I swallow hard. “So… yeah. I’m gay. In case you didn’t catch that.”
For a moment, there is dead silence. Just…nothing. And my stomach drops into my toes as I wonder what the hell is going through her mind right now. What—
Ally flings her arms around my neck and squeezes so tightly I can barely breathe. “I have about a bajillion questions for you, but I thought a hug seemed like the right place to start. Is that okay?”
“It’s the okay-est thing in the world,” I assure her, squeezing my eyes to blink away the tears gathering there. I feel so light right now, I could actually float out to the curb.
“How about you? Are you okay? God, no wonder you sounded so freaked out on the phone. This must have been so terrifying and confusing and…I don’t even know what.”
“It was all that, and still is,” I admit. “Trust me when I say I didn’t see it coming either. But it just feels right, finally.”
“I wish you could see the smile on your face right now. Is that what I looked like when I started dating Liam? You’re gonna blind half of LAX.” She squeezes my hand. “Seriously, I’m so happy to see you this happy, Vanny.”
“I’d be happier if you never called me Vanny again.”
“I know, but that’s unlikely, so you should just keep enjoying this whole relationship thing.”
“Remind me why you’re my best friend again?”
“Because I’m always the one to order the fries so the calories don’t count for you. Duh.”
“Oh, right.” My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I realize we’ve been lingering in the airport for a while now. “We should get going—Liam and Josh are waiting for us in the limo, and I wouldn’t tell Liam anything until I told you.”
“Josh knows?”
“Josh…may have seen us kissing,” I confide, heat rushing to my cheeks.
Ally just shakes her head as she hauls her bag back up on her shoulder and we start for the doors. “And he didn’t alert the media? I don’t even know who this non-asshole version of Josh Chester is.”
“It’s weird, I know. But we’re kinda friends now.”
“After all the crap you gave me—”
“I know. Trust me, I know.”
“So when do I get to meet the girlfriend? Please tell me she’s in the limo too. I’m dying of curiosity.”
“Not until tomorrow,” I tell her with a smile, “but trust me, she’s antsy to meet you, too.”
“Fine. I suppose I can wait one day,” she grumbles. “If you provide me with details until then. Like…how? When? I know you decided not to do the purity pledge thing, but what happened with Zander? And did you tell your parents? And—”
“One thing at a time, A.” I push open the doors into the balmy LA air. “I broke up with Zander, but I haven’t told him about Bri, nor have I told my parents. I’m hoping to do that as soon as we drop you off. And I’m pretty sure neither one is going to go very well.”
She squeezes my hand. “I’m here if you need me, you know. I’m sorry I haven’t been so present this semester. College and a long-distance relationship are way harder adjustments than I thought they’d be. I’m glad you’ve had Bri to make up for my being a crappy best friend.”
“You could never be a crappy best friend, A. This is the stuff that matters.” I squeeze her hand back. “Plus, you’re around for the most important part—like, a kind-of-crazy thing I’m planning on doing tomorrow.”
“I’m in. Whatever it is.”
“I know you are,” I say, squeezing her hand one last time as Liam jumps out of the limo. It looks like it’s requiring every ounce of restraint he has not to pounce on her, and I laugh and let go of her hand. “She’s all yours, Holloway,” I declare, relieving her of her bag so we can stash it in the trunk. His name isn’t even fully out of my mouth before he practically attacks hers.
I roll my eyes and get back in the limo.
“I take it that went well?” Josh asks as I slip my phone back out of my pocket.
“Not as well as that’s going.” I jerk my thumb toward the window. “But, yes, all good.”
“You ready for the rest of it?”
“Not even a little.” Checking my texts, I see I’d gotten a response from Bri to my last one, followed by, I’m guessing you’re with Ally now—lemme know how it goes. And then, sent fifteen minutes after that, I promise I will always do my best to be worth all this, Park. I hope you know that.
My heart squeezes inside my chest, and I write back, She can’t wait to meet you, as Ally and Liam finally join us inside the limo. And you already are.
But by the next morning, I’m not so sure anything is worth this. The Duncans were as easy as I knew they would be; the Parks…not so much. I managed one hour of their reaction of alternating silence with suggestions of therapy before begging Ally to pick me up and bring me to Zander’s so I could get this night over with. My conversation with him lasted less than five minutes and ended with him telling me that I really should see someone about being Saved.
Then I spent the entire night tossing and turning, wanting to call Bri to make me feel better and resisting because I didn’t want her to know how badly everything was going.
And now, as I pull on jeans and my favorite comfy Union Jack sweater in preparation of introducing my two favorite people, I really just want to puke.
“You can do this,” I pep-talk mysel
f in the mirror as I slather lotion on my face and concealer under my eyes. It comes out more like a grumble, though, and I’m silent as I draw on eyeliner. I can’t make myself bother with anything else but mascara, and it’s just as well, since the doorbell rings as soon as I toss the tube back on the bathroom counter.
I know it’s Bri at the door, coming to pick me up, and that I should be excited about that, but right now, all I want is to be left alone. I don’t want her to see how lousy I look. And I really don’t want the tiny bit of regret that’s beginning to seep in to show on my face.
But when I open the door, my mind goes completely blank.
“Too much?” she asks.
I shake my head, my throat suddenly feeling dryer than the Valley in August. I have just learned three things about Brianna Harris: 1) she owns leather pants; 2) she possesses no shame in wearing an “I Heart My Girlfriend” T-shirt in public; and 3) she looks otherworldly hot in both.
Worth. Everything.
“Excellent—then let’s go. I have an important good first impression to make.” She tries to tug me out the door, her silver bangles jangling, but I laugh and point out that I’m not wearing shoes yet. Sighing, she follows me inside, closing the door behind us as I hunt down my shoes and a bag.
It takes me a couple of minutes, but I finally reemerge. “Now I’m ready.”
She looks up from where she’d been examining the framed picture of the two of us on my end table. “Are you?” she asks, putting the frame down and walking over. “You know, you haven’t said how things went last night.”
I shrug. “They went.”
“They went badly.” She indicates the table. “The picture of you with your parents isn’t there anymore.” It’s true. When I got home last night, I shoved the frame in a drawer. “I wish you would’ve told me.”
“I didn’t want to upset you. And anyway, we didn’t think it would go well,” I remind her, although I think a part of me kind of believed it would, or at least hoped enough to believe. My heart pings, thinking about the conversation and about how many more will be ahead for the next few days, weeks, months.
