“I’m going to test it at home tonight,” Kirk said.
After Mr. Brisbane moved on, Richie turned to Kirk. “Maybe I could test it at home.”
“Have you ever sailed a model boat before?” asked Kirk.
Richie admitted that he hadn’t. “But I can tell if it sails or sinks.”
“Look, I’ve done this before with my dad,” Kirk explained. “He knows all about boats. He was in the navy!”
“But I haven’t done anything,” Richie complained.
“Great!” said Kirk. “You’ll get a prize and you don’t have to do the work. Trust me, we’ll win.”
I guess Richie couldn’t think of anything else to say, but he sure looked miserable. Kirk didn’t seem to notice.
“Hey, where do fish sleep?” he suddenly asked.
Richie just stared at Kirk.
“In a water bed!” Kirk chuckled. Richie didn’t.
Gail didn’t look any happier than Richie. Heidi was out sick with a bad cold, so Gail had to work alone. And her mother, who was so encouraging to the other students, continued to insist that she decorate the sail.
“Why can’t it be white?” Gail asked.
“That’s so unimaginative,” Mrs. Morgenstern replied. “Remember how you resisted changing your room? Now you love your golden walls, don’t you?”
“Yes, but that’s different,” Gail answered quietly.
So Gail continued to spend her time working on the hull of the boat. I think she was delaying the time when she had to decorate the sail (or upset her mom if she didn’t).
I felt sorry for Richie and Gail, but at least they’d have the chance to sail on Potter’s Pond and have a picnic with treasure, while I’d just sit in Room 26 with no one to talk to but a twangy old frog. I know, Og’s a nice guy and I wasn’t being fair to him, but I was feeling down in the dumps.
Even when Mrs. Brisbane read from Jolly Roger’s Guide to Life, I wasn’t very cheered up.
I thought I couldn’t feel any lower, until school was over and Mrs. Wright came in. She was carrying a clipboard and had her shiny whistle around her neck. It’s hard to relax around a woman who always wears a whistle!
“Mrs. Brisbane, here are a few more forms you’ll need for the field trip,” she announced abruptly.
I was surprised to see that Mrs. Brisbane just smiled and said, “Fine. I’ll make sure they’re taken care of.”
“By the deadline,” Mrs. Wright snapped back.
“Of course,” Mrs. Brisbane replied. “Now, Ruth, I have an idea. To make sure that our field trip is safe and orderly and everything goes smoothly, I was wondering if there was any chance you could come along and help supervise.”
I think if I’d been on my wheel, I would have fallen off.
Mrs. Wright looked about as startled as I felt. “Well, I don’t know,” she said. “I mean . . . yes, it would make sense. Perhaps I can rearrange my schedule that day.”
“You’d be a big help,” Mrs. Brisbane said (although I didn’t agree). “And you’d have a lot of fun.”
Mrs. Wright looked even more startled than before.
“Oh, well, of course, that wouldn’t be my purpose in being there,” she said.
Mrs. Brisbane flashed her a big smile. “Of course not. But it wouldn’t hurt to have some fun, would it?”
So that was Mrs. Brisbane’s idea! She wanted to help Mrs. Wright have some fun. I didn’t think that even a wise teacher could make that happen. The only fun Mrs. Wright had was when she blew her whistle, which wasn’t fun for small creatures with sensitive ears like mine.
“Good luck,” I muttered as Mrs. Brisbane left the room.
“Good night!” she answered cheerily.
That evening, I had to listen to the splishing and splashing coming from Og’s tank, which only reminded me that he could swim as much as he liked, while I was forbidden to be in water. Ever.
I guess Aldo didn’t know that I wouldn’t be joining the class at Potter’s Pond. He continued to whistle and dance the hornpipe and say things like, “Arrgh,” and, “Me hearty.”
When he called me a “salty dog,” I felt SAD-SAD-SAD, because if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s an unreasonable creature like a dog.
On Thursday night, Aldo said a very strange thing. “Maria has made me a pirate’s outfit. She says I look handsome in it!”
Maria was Aldo’s very nice wife, and I could hardly believe that she wanted him to be a pirate, too.
“I tell ye, me buckos, this pirate life agrees with me!” he added. Then he pushed his cleaning trolley out of Room 26, turned off the light and closed the door.
“Og?” I squeaked.
I could hear the faint splashing of water. “Og? Do you think Aldo is going to be a pirate and sail away and we’ll never see him again?”
“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og responded in a very alarming way.
“I hope not, either,” I answered, although I’m usually only guessing what Og is trying to say.
Aldo had left the blinds open, so that the streetlight outside lit up Room 26 and bathed it in a soft glow. The tables were pushed together so the boats were all in a row.
“I’m taking a little walk, Og,” I suddenly announced, flinging my cage door open.
I was able to drop down from the table where Og and I live directly onto the table with the boats. It was grand seeing them up close. There was the beautiful swan boat, with real feathers that Sayeh and Miranda brought in. The pirate flag looked wonderfully menacing on the boat Garth and A.J. built. I had nothing but admiration for the colorful Chinese junk that Tabitha and Seth designed. The Viking boat that Art and Mandy created tilted a bit too much to one side, but they still had time to fix it.
The tall ship was missing because Kirk had taken it home to test it.
Gail’s boat (and it was practically hers alone, since Heidi had been sick all week) was plain and simple, just like the poster of the classic sailboat on the wall.
My friends were doing a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT job, and in spite of my own disappointment, I was proud of them. But I suddenly remembered the boat I’d sketched in my notebook: the SS Golden Hamster with its impressive hamster flag. None of my friends had even thought of a flag (except the pirate flag on Garth and A.J.’s boat).
I looked around at the piles of art supplies in front of me and picked out a lovely triangle of aluminum foil and a toothpick. I carefully inserted the toothpick in the foil, and what do you know? It looked just like a silvery flag on a flagpole.
I planted it right in front of Gail’s boat, sticking it in a mound of modeling clay. It was a way to make my mark and congratulate my friends on their good work, even though they’d never know whose flag it was.
After all, it wasn’t their fault I’d be a landlubber forever.
There’s always plenty of time to think after Aldo leaves, and that night, I couldn’t help thinking about Kirk and how he was treating Richie. I’d never seen him act that way before. Everybody in Room 26 wanted to win the prize for the race, but my other friends weren’t acting like Kirk. What had gotten into him?
Then I started to think about the weekend I’d spent not long ago at Kirk’s house. It was a FUN-FUN-FUN place to stay because Kirk’s family is nice to visiting hamsters and they all like to laugh, like Kirk does. He has a mom, a dad, an older sister, Krissy, and an older brother, Kevin.
Kirk and Kevin shared a room. They had matching beds, matching lamps and matching desks. Over each desk was a shelf.
On Kirk’s shelf, there was a dictionary, a globe, five joke books and a red ribbon tacked to the edge.
On Kevin’s shelf, there were three silver trophies, four gold trophies, four plaques and a row of red, blue and gold ribbons. There must have been at least ten of them.
I didn’t pay much attention to the difference between the shelves until Kirk pointed it out that Saturday afternoon. He and I were alone in his room. Kevin was out running track, which according to Kirk is a lot like spinning
my wheel except you run in a circle on the ground.
“See all those trophies and ribbons, Humphrey?” Kirk asked me. “Those are Kevin’s awards for sports. He’s great at all sports. Basketball, soccer, track, swimming. Look at them all,” he said. “Pretty amazing, aren’t they?”
“YES-YES-YES!” I squeaked. I must admit, I was impressed.
Kirk pointed to the lone ribbon on his shelf. “That’s the only award I ever got, for honorable mention in the talent show last year. I did a comic routine. I should have gotten a gold.”
Since I hadn’t been around for the talent show and wasn’t even sure what it was, I didn’t comment.
“You should see my sister’s room,” Kirk continued. “I’d show it to you, but she doesn’t let me in there. Anyway, she has two shelves of awards for good grades and the debating team—that’s where people get points for arguing—and drama competitions and speech contests and, I don’t know, every time Krissy opens her mouth, she gets an award.”
I was still thinking about debating. I don’t like arguments one bit, but humans get awards for them!
Kirk flopped down on the bed. “Dad always says I’d better get busy if I’m going to fill up my shelf. Then he says he’s just kidding, but I’m not sure. It’s just, well, I’m good at being funny, but they don’t give awards for that!”
I got an award once for my Halloween costume, but Kirk seemed so upset, I didn’t think it was a good time to mention it.
Suddenly, Kirk sat up. “Hey, Humphrey, did you hear about the scarecrow who got the big award . . . for being outstanding in his field!” He laughed loudly. “Get it—see, a scarecrow stands in a field. Outstanding in his field!”
“Unsqueakably funny,” I said, though I was exaggerating a little.
“I’ve got a million of them,” Kirk said. “Did you hear the story about the spaceship? It was out of this world!”
He chuckled again, and so did I.
Kirk jumped up and stood close to my cage. “Here’s one for you, Humphrey. What did the hamster say when he broke his leg? ‘Quick! Call a hambulance’!”
A hambulance! Now that was funny. I hopped on my wheel to show Kirk the joke made me happy.
If I’d had a gold ribbon, I would have given it to him. Like I said, it was quiet in Room 26. Og never squeaks up, much less tells a joke.
“Og, did you hear the one about the boy who wanted a prize so badly, he’d even hurt his best friend’s feelings to win it?” I asked my neighbor.
Og didn’t laugh, but that was okay. The situation wasn’t one bit funny. And I didn’t have any idea how to make things better between Kirk and Richie.
It didn’t take long for Gail to notice the flag the next morning. Heidi was back, too, and she asked who had made it. When the girls asked around, no one knew anything about it. (Except me, but nobody asked.)
When Mrs. Morgenstern came over to check on their progress, she asked Gail how she’d decided to decorate the sail.
“Mom, could I make a flag instead?” she asked.
“Fabulous idea!” Mrs. Morgenstern replied. “I love it!”
She seemed pleased, and so did Gail, who went right to work. First she studied nautical flags in one of Mrs. Brisbane’s books. It turns out there’s a whole language for flags. Boats raise them to send messages to shore or to other boats. Then Gail designed her own series of flags with brightly colored stripes and patterns. I was happy I’d been able to inspire her again.
Mr. Brisbane helped her string them along the side of the mast. Mrs. Morgenstern loved them, and best of all, Gail did, too.
It was a fine boat. They were all fine boats, especially after Mr. Brisbane helped Art and Mandy get their Viking ship to stand up straight.
Kirk looked very pleased when Mr. Brisbane checked out their tall ship.
“It floated perfectly last night,” Kirk said. “I knew it would.”
Mr. Brisbane was full of praise. After he moved on, Kirk turned to Richie and said, “I think we’ve pretty much got first prize wrapped up.”
“You’ve got first prize wrapped up,” Richie snapped. “I’m just a big nobody.”
Kirk looked surprised. “Come on, Richie. No one has to know I did all the work. You’ll look like a winner.”
“But I won’t feel like one.” Richie quickly got up and sharpened about a million pencils. After a while, Mrs. Brisbane noticed and went over to talk to him.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“I guess,” he answered.
She tried to get more information out of him, but he just kept sharpening pencils. So she wandered over to Kirk and asked him if everything was all right.
“Yeah. The boat’s fantastic—look!” he answered.
“I mean between you and Richie,” Mrs. Brisbane said.
“Sure. We make a great team,” Kirk said. He sounded as if he meant it.
“Does Kirk really think Richie doesn’t mind being left out?” I squeaked to Og.
“BOING,” Og answered. He didn’t sound very enthusiastic.
Keep an eye on ye enemies, me hearties. There may be mutiny a-brewing!
From JOLLY ROGER’S GUIDE TO LIFE,
by I.C. Waters
9
Secrets, Secrets Everywhere
Richie cheered up a little when Mrs. Brisbane announced that I’d be going home with him for the weekend. I was happy, too. I thought maybe we could both get our minds off boats. But once I got to the Rinaldi home, I found out I was WRONG-WRONG-WRONG. In fact, boats were just about all that Richie thought about.
There’s always a lot going on at Richie’s house with his parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins hanging out there. They were all there on Saturday—so many kids! Serena and Sarah, Anthony and Alex, George and Josie, Richie and Rita! Late in the afternoon, they all ended up in the bathroom—with me!
I was in my hamster ball, which Richie carefully set on top of a tissue box so I wouldn’t roll off.
At first, I was happy that Richie brought me along.
A little later, I wasn’t so sure.
“Watch this,” said Richie as he turned on the faucets and the tub began to fill with water.
“What’s going on?” asked Rita.
George backed away. “I don’t want to take a bath! I had one yesterday!”
“I doubt that. Maybe the day before,” his sister, Josie, snapped. “Maybe.”
“We’re not here to take a bath,” said Richie. “We’re here to see what floats!”
Aha! I realized that Richie was going to show his cousins what Mr. Fitch and Mrs. Brisbane had showed us in the library.
Richie started things off by holding up a penny.
“Float or won’t float?” he asked.
“Won’t!” his cousins shouted in unison.
The penny sank to the bottom of the tub.
Next, George took a pencil out of his pocket. “Float or won’t float?”
“Will!” Rita, Serena and Sarah agreed.
“Won’t!” Alex, Anthony and Josie agreed.
The pencil floated beautifully. All it needed was a sail to look just like a sailboat.
The cousins soon scattered all over the house and returned with more things to test. They tried a peppermint stick (sank), a flip-flop (floated), a leaf (floated until it got soggy and sank) and a seashell (sank). A plastic cup did something very surprising. It floated on its side until it was three-quarters full of water, then it tipped up and floated upright.
Finally, a teddy bear floated on his back with a big happy smile on his face. I guess it’s okay for furry teddy bears to get wet, unlike furry hamsters.
Then George and Anthony got into a splashing fight. George’s dad looked in to see what was going on.
“It’s a science experiment,” Richie told him.
“Anything that can get George to the bathtub is fine with me,” he said. “Just clean up the mess when you’re finished.”
It was fun to watch all the splashin
g until Alex grabbed the hamster ball and said, “What about this? Will it float?”
“NO-NO-NO!” I squeaked. I didn’t know if the ball would float or not, but I knew that I didn’t want to get wet! And even though the plastic would protect me from the water, those air holes were sure to let water in. When I’d wished for an adventure on the water, this wasn’t what I had in mind!
Alex was carrying me toward the tub as I shrieked, “Stop him! I shouldn’t get wet!”
I wasn’t sure if anyone could hear me with all that plastic around me.
He held the ball over the water. I took a deep breath and squeaked, “Eeeeeeek!”
At that point, my friend Richie grabbed the ball out of Alex’s hand. “Not with Humphrey in it, you dodo.”
Richie opened the ball, took me out and handed the ball back to his cousin. “Here,” he said.
Alex dropped my hamster ball into the tub, where it bobbed up and down on the water, floating along.
My heart was pounding, but I was GLAD-GLAD-GLAD I wasn’t inside.
Richie put me back in my cage, where I burrowed into my sleeping hut for a long, dry nap.
On Sunday afternoon, Richie cleaned my cage. He did an excellent job. While he was changing my water, his mom brought in the phone and said he had a call.
“Hello?” Richie said. “Oh . . . Kirk.”
He sure didn’t seem happy to hear from his partner.
“Okay. Okay. Okay.” That’s all I heard. I couldn’t hear what Kirk said, but Richie told me after he said good-bye.
“Dumb old Kirk. He took the boat home again and wanted to tell me it sailed really great,” Richie explained. “What a jerk. Kirk the jerk.”
Then he unexpectedly slipped me in his pocket. It was dark in there, but I could make out a couple of dried-up raisins and half a stick of gum stuck to the cloth. Luckily, I was only there for a few seconds.
Richie went into the bathroom, locked the door, took me out of his pocket and set me in an empty soap dish. I was a little nervous when he started filling the bathtub with water, especially after the experiments from the day before.
Adventure According to Humphrey Page 6
