Katie will be over to watch Jaxon tonight while we go out to dinner. Toby told Raven that he has a surprise for her. I’m very curious what it is.
I get a call in the late afternoon from Raven saying we might have to push the time back a little. There is something going on with her boss and the psycho that’s after him and his girlfriend.
Raven gets home and jumps into the shower not knowing how long it will take Toby to get here.
There’s a knock at the door and I answer it. It’s Toby. He looks nice tonight, black shirt with the sleeves turned up to the elbows and the collar is unbuttoned a couple buttons, and black slacks. “Hey T, come in, she’ll be out in a minute.”
“Thank you, Charlie.” He walks into the apartment and has a smile on his face. I heard you had quite the day today.”
“Yes, and thank God the whole thing is over.”
“You caught him?”
“Yes, we can all just relax now.”
Toby sits on the couch as he waits for Raven. “So Charlie, tell me about you.”
Katie walks out carrying Jaxon. “T, this is Katie. She watches Jaxon for me in the evenings.”
“Hi Katie, it’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice meeting you too. It’s about time Raven got a man.”
“Right huh,” Charlie says.
Katie sets Jaxon down and he looks around. When he spots Toby on the sofa, he makes a beeline for him. I can’t believe how much Jaxon and Toby look alike, now that I think about it, other than he has a lot more muscle on him, and he looks so much like Braydon. Jaxon grabs hold of his slacks and pulls himself up off the floor until he is standing with a death grip to his slacks. Toby picks him up, places him on his knees, and starts to bounce him as if he has done this many times, and Jaxon starts to giggle.
“What do you want to know?” I ask.
“Are you from here?”
“Oregon yes, Portland, no. I was raised in Beaverton, and then moved to the Salem area when I was about eight, moved to Tennessee for a few months, then moved back to Portland.”
“What took you to Tennessee?”
“College and softball.”
“Wow, that’s cool, but you only stayed for a few months?”
“Yeah, there was so much partying on the team, and at that point in my life, I wasn’t into that so I came back home. I got a scholarship to play volleyball so I did that for a year. I was working during the summers to earn money for school; that’s when I met Raven. We worked together, then last year … well, last year wasn’t good. Well, except for Jaxon. I mean, he wasn’t born last year, but I was pregnant with him. I’ve taken the year off from school to get myself back together. In fact, I haven’t even told Raven; I start back up this fall.”
“Raven told me what happened to your boyfriend, I’m sorry.”
I clear my throat and turn my head away from Toby. I don’t want him to see the tears from my eyes. “Thank you, T. Do you care if I call you T?”
He chuckles. “No, you can call me whatever you want.”
A big smile breaks across my face. “Anything huh? I’ll have to think about that.”
“Well, I guess I left myself open for that one.” He looks up when he hears Raven’s heels clicking across the floor. He stands, placing Jaxon on his hip as she walks in. He walks over to her. She has a light green sleeveless dress on that brings out the green in her eyes. He leans down giving her a gentle kiss on the lips, and then he whispers in her ear. He then bites her earlobe, and she lets out a moan.
“Um, get a room, and don’t forget you’re talking dirty with Jaxon on your hip.” I giggle.
“Sorry, Charlie,” Raven says.
“Are we ready?” Toby asks. He lifts Jaxon off his hip and gives him a kiss on top of his head, and he hands him to Katie.
“Yep, I’ll show you where Carson lives,” Raven says.
“Okay, well then, I guess we should go.”
We all walk out to the truck and Toby opens the door for us. Raven tells Toby where Carson lives and as we get there, Raven jumps out of the truck to go get him.
The door opens and out walks Raven’s co-worker. He looks like he should be on some sandy beach with a surfboard. As he gets closer, it slips out of my mouth. “Holy fucking hell, is she fucking kidding me?” I whisper.
They walk to the truck and he opens the door for Raven, then opens his. Toby looks over his shoulder to see Carson and the look on his face. When he sees me, it’s priceless. “Sweet Jesus! Is this a fucking joke?”
Raven turns and looks at me. I have my hand over my mouth. Then she looks at Carson, who has stopped mid-step, as he was getting into the truck. “Charlie, I would like you to meet …”
”… Zain.”
Toby looks at Raven with a confused look and she tilts her head to the side looking at me. “No … Carson.”
“Char, fucking Christ!” Carson says.
“No, Carson, this is Charlie.” Raven and Toby are both looking from Carson to me, then at each other. “Okay, is this like the twilight zone, because I know I must have missed something? I have had a really weird day today and it’s getting weirder as the night goes on.”
“Zain and I met when I was back in Tennessee.” God, I smell his cologne, it’s the same cologne he used to wear. It fills my senses. I couldn’t ever think when I smelled him. Leave it to Raven to find the one man I couldn’t ever forget, no matter how hard I tried. The man I knew was my soul mate from the beginning, who I gave myself to. The only man I would always and truly love forever.
“No, this is Carson; you must have him mistaken for someone else,” Raven says, looking between us.
“I see you pulled the bat out of your ass,” Carson says, as he stares at me.
“I don’t know how you would know with the way you were stoned all the time, I’m surprised you have any brain cells left.” I spit out with contempt. But he hurt me so badly, I thought saying hurtful things to him was the only way I would feel better, but I didn’t. I felt the pain that I was putting on his face. I can’t do this anymore. I’m dying inside, I just want him to pull me into his arms and hold me. Tell me that everything was going to be all right.
“Well, obviously you didn’t stick around long enough to find out.” Carson spews out with disdain.
“I’m sorry, Raven, but I can’t do this,” I say. As my voice cracks and tears fill my eyes. I have dreamed for years that I would have another chance with Zain, and God brought us back together, and here we are slinging insults at each other, seeing who could hurt whom, the most. The tears slip from my eyes.
“What? Why?” she says with surprise in her voice.
“She’s right, for the first time, I can’t do this either,” Carson says, as he looks at me, then to Raven.
I open the truck door and jump out. Toby gets out and walks after me. He grabs me by the shoulder asking me to stop. He turns and looks back through the window of the truck, then I look and see Raven starting to cry.
“Don’t move, don’t go anywhere.” Carson is walking toward his front door when Toby reaches him. “Carson, hold up.” Carson stops and turns to him. They talk for a few minutes before they start to walk over to where I am standing.
“Carson, this isn’t about you or Charlie, this is about Raven. You are her friends, and I think she’s going to need her friends tonight more than ever. Do you see what this is doing to her? Look at her. Can’t you two sit and have one meal together?”
Carson and I look at each other and then turn away. “Okay, I’ll do it, I won’t like it, but I’ll do it for Raven,” I say.
“Fine, if she can do it, I can do it too, I guess.”
“Good! Now put smiles on your faces and get back into the truck and make her happy.”
Both of us growl under our breath and start walking toward the truck.
Toby gets in the truck, pushing the middle console up so Raven can sit closer to him. Toby leans down, kissing her cheek and pulls her close to his side.
/> The rest of the way to the restaurant is quiet. I think everyone is trying to process what just happened.
As we walk into the restaurant, we are taken into a back section. There’s no one else in the room. We are seated in a large booth and the host brings us our water and hot tea. The table is set for five. Toby has his arm around Raven. I start to take a drink of my water and I see a woman who could be Raven’s … Oh, Fuck. The glass slips from my fingers and hits the ground as both Carson and I say, “Oh my fucking God!”
Both Raven and Toby look at us, both with eyes wide, and I have my hand over my mouth. Toby looks at Raven then turns to look at something else. They turn to look at what we are staring at, then I look at Raven. Her face is white. “Angel,” Toby leans and whispers into her ear.
“What the fuck?” Raven says. Her eyes fill with tears.
There, standing in front of us, is a woman who is almost a twin to Raven. The only thing that is different is the color of her hair. It has to be Raven’s mother. The woman who, for the last six years, she has been looking for.
“May I sit down?” she asks.
Raven looks at Toby. “You knew about this?”
“Yes, angel, I did.”
“How long have you known?”
“A couple days.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” Her voice was getting louder.
“No, angel, I wanted to surprise you.”
Raven slides out of the booth and starts to walk out. “Well, you sure as fucking hell did that.”
Toby quickly slides out after her. You could tell by his reaction he never thought she would act like that. Zain and I scurry out of our seats, following Toby, Raven, and her mother. Toby grabs Raven by the shoulder as she starts to walk out of the restaurant.
“I suggest you take your fucking hand off my shoulder unless you want to be on your back in two seconds.”
He lets go and she walks out the front door.
Her mother follows them, and both Zain and I do the same.
“Would you stop, please?” I can hear Toby ask, but I can see she keeps walking. They are through the front door when I hear Toby say, “God dammit Raven, STOP!”
Raven swings back around. “Who the fuck are you to go behind my back? What gives you the fucking right to do something like this?”
Toby looks down at her, and my heart breaks for him. I’m sure he had no idea that she would react like this. Toby shakes his head. “I’m the man that loves you. The man that wants to make all your dreams come true. The man that wanted to fill that broken part of your heart that my love couldn’t mend. The part that could only be fixed by a child’s love for her mother.” He says it so lovingly to her. Then it’s like he snaps. “But I guess I was wrong.”
He pulls out his wallet and takes out cash, he walks up to Raven, who I can see has tears in her eyes. He takes her hand and presses the cash into it, bends down and kisses her on the cheek and whispers something in her ear. He turns and walks away.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Zain
I OPEN the truck door for Raven, and then open mine. The fragrance hits me first, then I look up and of all people I see, it’s Char. Fuck me. I had forgotten just what she does to me. My heart skips a beat, my breath hitches, and my stomach does a flip, and I am instantly hard as her smell permeates my senses. Fuck!
“Sweet Jesus! Is this a fucking joke? Is there a camera? Are you punking me?” Because there is no way that this could be happening.
Charlie says my name—the name I went by when we knew each other. Her tone was breathy almost a whisper and my cock twitches. Really, has it not forgotten what she did to me? And from the look on Raven’s face, she’s clueless. She thinks we are mistaking each other for someone else. How did I not put this together? How many girls go by the name Charlie? I don’t think I can do this, she left a huge hole in my heart, she was my one. I can’t afford to be ripped open and shredded again. Fuck, I remember the conversation that Raven I had last week. She was talking about Char and what had happened to her in college; she does think I was selling drugs.
Char tries to explain to Raven that we met in Tennessee, but I think Raven is in shock because she can’t get past our names.
So to try to stop the pain in my chest. I fling some dumb shit insult at Char to make me feel better, then she throws one back at me and I throw another. I’m dying inside, I want to throw my arms around her and tell her I’m sorry and how much I’ve missed her. My heart is beating like a hummingbird’s wings. At this rate, I’m going to have a heart attack.
Char says it before me, but I was thinking the same thing. I just can’t do this. I opened myself up to Char in Tennessee, and she ripped my heart out when she left. I feel the tears burning the backs of my eyes; I turn and walk back to my house.
Toby runs up to me and asks me to talk to him and Char, and how much Raven was looking forward to having her two best friends meet. Have I said it before? Fuck me!
“Fine!” Let’s just get this done and over with. Toby points out Raven in the truck. Her face is in her hands as she cries. So, we both agree to put on our best faces for Raven and just get through the night.
The drive to the restaurant is a quiet one and I start to think about last week and my conversation with Raven. She surely didn’t know about Char and me knowing each other, but I wonder if that was what she was talking about. She has an innate way of knowing things about people.
We pull into the parking lot of the restaurant. As we walk in the front door, they seem extra happy to see us. The host takes us back to an almost private room. We sit at the table as the server brings us our water and tea.
As we are looking at the menus, Char gasps and, as if in slow motion, her glass of water slips from her fingers. I was going to make some smartass comment, until I look at what she is staring at.
“Oh, my fucking God!” Both Char and I say it at the same time. We both grab each other’s hands. It’s Raven’s mother, it has to be, and they could be sisters. She comes over and asks to sit down. The shit is going to hit the fan; I see it in Raven’s eyes. She throws herself out of the booth and starts walking out. For a second, I think she is going to haul off and hit Toby. She is shooting daggers at him with her eyes.
Raven storms out of the restaurant, followed by Toby, then her mother, and we are not too far behind her.
I don’t understand why Raven is so mad; she has been looking for her mother for the last six years. At least she is here and wanting to meet her daughter. That’s more than either of my parents would do. They have their own priorities.
I can see in Toby’s eyes that he is hurt by Raven’s actions, I feel so bad for him. Toby gets in his truck and storms off as Raven starts to collapse. Both Char and I run to catch her before she falls to the ground.
“Oh my God, oh my God. What did I just do, why did I do that, what the hell is wrong with me? Oh my God, Toby.” Raven falls apart and we walk her to a bench outside the restaurant. “I have to call him; I have to tell him I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, oh my God.” She sobbing now and frantic, she starts to hyperventilate. “Where is my phone I have to call him, shit, where is it? I have to make him see.” She’s digging in her purse for her phone. She is so frantic she dumps her purse upside down. Papers go flying, change starts to roll down the sidewalk, and makeup is rolling off the bench and onto the ground. “Where the hell is my phone?” She starts to panic. Char kneels down to Raven.
“Raven, honey, check your jacket pocket.” Char is calmly talking to Raven, as she starts to pick up the items that have been dumped from Raven’s purse.
Tears are flowing down Raven’s face. “I can’t even see his number.”
“Here let me see it.” I take her phone from her, tap Toby’s name on the screen, and hand the phone back to her.
“Answer, please answer, Toby, please.” She pulls the phone away and starts to sob harder. She tries several more times, leaving voicemails, but he never answers.
Raven’s mo
ther kneels down in front of a weeping Raven. “Raven, let’s go inside, we need to talk.”
We finish picking up all the rest of the contents of Raven’s purse and help her into the restaurant.
Raven’s mom introduces herself to us. Michelle helps Raven into the booth and pours her a cup of tea, and I’m thinking I’m going to need something a little stronger than tea to keep me calm.
“Raven, we need to talk,” Michelle says. “I know you have questions, but the one thing you need to know is that Toby wouldn’t let me have contact with you until he was sure of my past and what happened.”
Raven slowly turns her head to look at Michelle. “How long? How long has he known?”
“Two days. I was outside your apartment on Monday and he saw me snooping around and he came after me and started asking questions. We met yesterday here. I told him what happened and why I had to leave.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him what happened and that your grandmother blackmailed me, right after you were born. Your father was younger than me and she said that if I didn’t leave, she was going to turn me in for statutory rape. I would never be able to see you again because I would be labeled as a sex offender.”
“Grandmother really did that?”
“Yes, she did, and I was so young that I believed her. I didn’t know about the statute of limitations until Toby told me what they were. These are the first three days that I have felt free, that I didn’t have to look over my shoulder.”
“Oh, how did you find me?”
“I only lost you once, and that was after you ran away. I have been watching you from afar.”
“You have?”
“The only thing I took was my camera. She wouldn’t give me any time to pack my belongings.”
“I knew she had something to do with your disappearance.”
“Raven, about tonight, Toby didn’t mean to hurt you. He just wanted to surprise you. I was so excited that he would let me see you. I understand if you don’t want to see me. It’s been a long time, and I wouldn’t expect you to just drop everything for me.”
Anchored To Love Page 13
