He bowed, his jaw clenched with obvious anger. “I’ll go now, but I’m not leaving Marleigh Manor unless it’s with you as my wife. Consider yourself warned, Bella.”
With that parting shot, he stalked away, slamming her chamber door at his back.
esse didn’t want to do what he was about to do. It would change everything, perhaps ruin all that he’d worked so hard to build. At the very least, Thornton would beat the hell out of him. Worse, Jesse knew he deserved it. He had betrayed his friend’s trust and brought dishonor and suffering upon an innocent lady. He hated that she’d been alone when she’d needed him most. He didn’t deserve Bella, of that he was more than certain.
If he had a shred of honor left in him, he’d leave her to her staid existence as a duchess. She’d never want for anything, financially or socially. But he was a selfish bastard through and through, and he wanted her for himself. There was fight in him yet.
Even so, it didn’t stop his conscience from launching a final charge on him as he waited for the butler’s announcement. He could walk out the door and never return. He could take his daughter back to America as Bella had asked, spend the rest of his life trying to forget her. Instead, he entered Thornton’s study.
His friend stood with a welcoming smile. “Jesse, it’s good to see you. I trust America treated you well?”
If he’d felt like a bastard before, it was nothing compared to now. “Not as well as I may have hoped.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Is something amiss? You look as if you’ve just seen the ghost of your grandmother.”
“I’m afraid my visit here is not a mere social one.” He hesitated, wondering how to proceed. “I need to discuss a rather grave matter.”
Thornton’s smile faded. “Well, what the devil is it, Jesse? Has our hotel in New York burned down?”
“The hotel is safe,” he assured him. “But I fear our friendship may not be.”
Thornton’s expression hardened. “Indeed? Why?”
Jesse took a breath before plunging headlong into the hurricane. “I’m in love with your sister.”
“The deuce. Bella? You’re in love with Bella?”
He nodded. “I have been for some time.”
“Hell.” Thornton raked a hand through his black hair, leaving it standing on end. “I don’t know what to think about that particular pronouncement.”
“That isn’t the worst of it.”
The marquis stiffened, and Jesse had the distinct impression that the severity of the meeting was becoming apparent to him. His voice was grave when he spoke again. “Jesse, tell me you aren’t the son-of-a-bitch who compromised Bella and got her with child.”
Jesse met his gaze, knowing he needed to put himself at Thornton’s mercy. “I cannot.”
“You bastard,” Thornton growled. With lightning quickness, he grabbed Jesse’s coat, shaking him. “Do you have any inkling as to the suffering you’ve brought upon her in the last few months? I should kill you for what you’ve done to her.”
That he had caused her any pain at all would always haunt him. He’d never wanted to hurt her. If he could rewrite their history, he would. Leaving her in the night as he’d done had been selfish and thoughtless and no one knew it better than he. He should have married her and carried her away with him. If he had done so, maybe their babe would not now be a mere memory. He had to face the consequences of his actions. He owed Bella and the babe they’d lost that much at least.
Jesse braced himself for the bout of fisticuffs that was surely to come. “While I realize this is hardly a defense, I was not aware she was with child at the time I left. Had it been made known to me, I would have married her immediately.”
“How generous of you.” Thornton’s jaw clenched. “What makes you think I would have allowed you to wed my sister?”
“Not a blessed thing. I acknowledge she is my better in every way.” He meant what he was saying, had never meant anything more in his life. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had denied me.”
“Damn right she’s your better. You miserable prick. I counted you a friend.”
“I’m deeply sorry for betraying your trust in me,” he said, knowing it was little consolation, offered too late. “I accept whatever punishment you would give me.”
“I don’t need your approval to beat you to a bloody pulp, Whitney.” Thornton gave him another shake.
“Hit me then,” he said simply. It was what he deserved and more. He waited for the coming blow.
And waited.
“You’re not worth the damage to my fist,” Thornton sneered, every inch the marquis.
“Likely not,” he agreed.
“Have you nothing to say for yourself?”
“An apologia wouldn’t be enough to explain the depths to which I’ve sunk.”
“I don’t want an apologia, damn you. I want a reason why. Why would you trifle with my sister? She was an innocent.”
He remained unflinching in the face of his friend’s wrath. If nothing else, he was a man who stood his ground. “I have no reason, other than to say I allowed my heart to rule my head. I should never have done so, and I know it well. But the die has been cast. I found no recourse other than to unburden myself to you.”
“Tell me something.” Thornton’s eyes narrowed. “Why have you chosen to reveal this to me now when Bella is on the brink of making a match with the duke? I might never have known.”
“Conscience,” he lied. “I needed to for the sake of our friendship.”
He couldn’t bear to see her wed to a dull fish like the duke. Or any man else for that matter. True, Jesse didn’t deserve her. But she had loved him once. He had to hope she could one day find herself capable of loving him again. Damn it, his letters had been his ruin. If he could but prove to Bella he’d sent her word and hadn’t simply abandoned her, maybe she could forgive him. He had to believe that she was being guided by her anger and not by her heart. He had to believe it, or he had nothing left.
Thornton finally released him, but his gaze was still flinty, skewering him with the effect of a bayonet. “I wish I could believe you.”
“I don’t expect you to. I haven’t proven myself a trustworthy ally.”
“You sure as hell haven’t, sir.” Thornton paused before he continued, voice colored by suspicion. “You say you love her.”
“I do.” That much was true, though it seemed he certainly hadn’t done a thing to show it.
“Then why not let her go to the duke? She’s no longer with child. Your obligations are at an end. Let her find her happiness where she will.”
“I compromised her, Thornton. Do you not think the duke would take issue with an unchaste bride?”
“I daresay she wouldn’t be the first in the history of our esteemed empire,” his friend snapped. “Certainly not the last.”
He knew his ability to marry Bella was in Thornton’s hands. He didn’t want to push him too far and lose everything, so he chose to retreat just a bit. “I’ve done my duty in informing you of my sins. You have my word that I would marry her tomorrow if you but ask it. In fact, I would consider it my life’s greatest honor.”
“Christ.” Thornton raked another hand through his hair. “Marry her?”
His reaction suggested Jesse marrying Bella was akin to flying an omnibus to the moon. He wasn’t that bad of a matrimonial catch, damn it. “I could provide her with the life to which she is accustomed. You know I’ve plenty of wealth at my disposal. I would not take her from England or her family. I’ve purchased a more than adequate house in Belgravia, and I think she would like it well. I may not be a perfect man, but I am responsible for what I’ve done.”
“What makes you think she would have you?”
“Nothing,” he admitted. “I’ve had an interview with her and it didn’t unfold particularly well.”
“I expect not. She was quite cut up over what happened and with good reason.”
Jesse inclined his head in acknowledgment. “I
’ve begged her forgiveness, but I do understand it’s not owed to me.”
His friend stalked across the room, exhaling a great rush of air. “Damn you. I should be pummeling your face right now, not considering your offer of marriage to my sister.”
“If the roles were reversed, I cannot honestly say I would have shown your restraint.”
“I’m not certain if it’s restraint I have or utter stupidity.” Thornton turned back to him. “I suspected something of this nature, but I hadn’t wanted to believe it. I suppose I’ve had some time to acquaint myself with the notion of my best friend ruining my only sister.”
Jesse winced. He considered Thornton to be the brother he’d never had. But he had committed an act of treason. He doubted whether Thornton would ever forgive him. Indeed, he wouldn’t blame him one whit if he didn’t.
“I never intended to ruin her. Hell, I never intended to even look her way.”
“If I hadn’t gone through what I did with Cleo, you’d be bleeding profusely just now. Sad to say, but I know what you’re speaking of.” He stopped his frantic pacing. “That doesn’t mean, however, that I sympathize with you. Quite the opposite as Bella is still my sister. She’s naïve and idealistic, and she didn’t stand a chance against a man like you.”
A man like him. Jesus, Thornton didn’t even know the half of it. They’d never spoken much about his time in the war. Jesse didn’t suppose they ever would. Strange, but Bella knew more about him than any other soul in the world.
“I can’t explain it. All I can say is I wish to hell I had courted her properly.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.” He sighed. “There’s one more revelation I must make.”
“I shudder to think what it could be,” Thornton drawled.
Jesse ignored his sarcasm. “I have a daughter. She’s the reason I left so abruptly.”
“Christ in heaven, what other secrets have you been keeping? Are you a spy? A bloody pirate? Have you murdered any innocent children lately?”
“I’ve earned that response,” he agreed. “But this was not a secret I willingly kept. My daughter was unknown to me until I received a message at Marleigh Manor the evening you and I were in your study. When I was in the war, there was a lady to whom I gave my heart. She married another but unbeknownst to me carried my child. She chose to wait until she was on her deathbed to tell me the truth. I had no choice other than to go to my daughter, fearing that her mother was already dead and she was alone in the world. It was never my intention to abandon Lady Bella.”
“That’s one hell of a muddle,” Thornton said, showing a surprising amount of compassion. “I won’t condone the way in which you left, or the straits in which you left my sister, nor will I forget your conduct with her. However, I can see that you were a man torn.”
Jesse nodded. “I thank you for your generosity.”
“Where is this mysterious daughter of yours, Whitney?”
“Clara has traveled here to Marleigh Manor with me.”
“I suppose it’s natural for you to be seeking a maternal figure for the girl, but surely you can’t believe Bella is of an age where she can act the part of mother. How old is the child?”
“She is fifteen years.” Jesse paused, choosing his next words with care. “Don’t think I haven’t considered Bella in my altered circumstances. I would never expect her to play the mother to Clara. I assure you that I take very seriously my obligations to both Clara and your sister. If it was merely a replacement mother I sought, I never would have crossed an ocean.”
“You must appreciate this isn’t the sort of alliance I would ever want for her. As the sister to a marquis, she deserves a coronet at the very least. She’s been bred to know her place in society.”
“I’m aware I’m nothing more than a Southerner with questionable lineage. I wasn’t raised in a grand country house. I will never be a duke,” he conceded before proceeding with the intensity of the fire burning inside him. “But I can be the man who looks after her, the man who provides her with the greatest comforts in life. And I can be the man who will love her until my last breath.”
He had no recourse other than to put himself at the mercy of Thornton, but he’d be damned if he’d give up Bella without one hell of a fight. He knew what it was like to battle nearly to the death, and he wasn’t afraid to do what he must for the woman he loved. He knew the scent of gun smoke the way he knew the scent of Bella’s hair. He was no stranger to combat, whether of the body or the heart.
“You say you love her and yet love commands such a paltry price in our glittering world,” Thornton murmured. “We marry for far less noble reasons here. Dowries and lineages and such.”
“Yet you yourself did not,” Jesse pointed out. “Moreover, I have no need of any dowry Bella may have. Keep it in your coffers, Thornton.”
“It isn’t her dowry I’m concerned with keeping.” His friend’s expression turned grim. “Besides, I’m a rare exception. Don’t think it gives you an advantage. I need time to consider your proposal.”
“How much time?” With each day that passed, he feared Bella drifted further out of his already tenuous reach.
“You overstep your bounds, Whitney. I can take as much time as I damn well like and you’ll know my conclusion when I decide you shall. It would be best, in the meantime, if you and the girl keep to your rooms.” Thornton offered him an abbreviated bow. “I find I’m late for an appointment. If you’ll excuse me?”
For the first time in his years-long friendship with Thornton, Jesse was being dismissed. He returned the bow and took his leave, his gut more riddled with worry than it had been before he’d first entered the marquis’ study. More than anything, he didn’t want to lose Bella. But he greatly feared he would.
Bella received a summons from her brother. Since he’d largely ignored her following her refusal to reveal the name of her child’s father, it came as a surprise. A most unwanted surprise. She suspected she knew the reason for the sparsely worded message she received just before dinner.
Jesse had carried out his threat.
She went to Thornton in his study as he had requested. She didn’t bother with the formality of being announced, merely entered. Perhaps, she reasoned, it would be in her favor to catch him unawares. He glanced up from a sheaf of papers at her entrance, seeming quite imposing.
He stood and offered her an abbreviated bow. “Arabella, I trust you are well?”
Oh dear, she was being treated to her full name. He was still most displeased, it seemed. “As well as can be expected, thank you.” Warily, she crossed the length of the chamber and seated herself before him. “Pray, enlighten me as to the meaning of this interview so that I may no longer wait on tenterhooks.”
Thornton sat and skewered her with a most withering stare. “I daresay you already know the meaning.”
She said nothing, not wanting to implicate herself.
“Jesse came to see me a short while ago,” he continued. “He has told me everything.”
Bella tensed. She truly did not relish the prospect of facing her brother’s wrath. Perhaps she could stall him. “What is this ‘everything’ he has told you?”
Her brother raised an imperious brow, looking every inch the marquis. “Need I elaborate?”
She lowered her gaze. “What has he gained in humiliating me before you?”
“The return of his honor, I suspect.” Thornton cleared his throat. “He wants to do right by you, Bella.”
“Indeed?” She gave a bitter laugh. “What is his concept of doing right by me at this particular juncture?”
“He has asked for your hand in marriage.”
Disbelief sliced through her. He wanted to wed her? He’d never hinted in the slightest during their heated meeting that he still sought her hand. An overwhelming rush of sadness hit her next. Months ago, she would have loved nothing more than to marry Jesse. Now the prospect simply made her numb. She didn’t know what to think.
“
Surely you wouldn’t consider such a foolish request,” she protested at last.
“Is it foolish? I’ve had some time to think about all that I’ve learned, and I realized I’m a complete duffer for failing to notice what was right before me. He was always at your elbow during the entirety of the house party. Maman complained quite loudly that you were always disappearing or napping. I should have known better, but I suppose my head was otherwise engaged at the time.” He paused. “Bella, I know you well enough to know you must love him.”
Did she still love him? She didn’t know. She’d forced herself to bury that part of her along with the grief. She was certain of so little these days. “I loved him,” she admitted with great deliberation. “But I know not what I feel for him now.”
“Look at me, sister.”
Bella took a breath and forced herself to meet his gaze. The censure she’d been afraid she’d see was absent. There was only warmth, compassion. She wanted to weep.
“He claims to love you.”
Bella shook her head. “He does not.”
“How can you be sure? He has not much reason for prevarication.”
“He could not love me or he wouldn’t have acted as he did,” she said, determined not to allow her heart to soften. “He abandoned me when I needed him the most.”
“Nevertheless, he is willing to atone for his sins,” Thornton countered. “He admits he was wrong in his actions.”
“Are you taking up the cudgels for him now?” she asked, aghast. “I know he is your old friend, but I am your sister. I should have expected more loyalty from you, Thornton.”
“It is you I fight for.” Thornton rose from his desk and began pacing in atypical fashion. He was more distraught than he appeared, then. “It is merely that no one knows better than I how great the price is when hearts are stubborn. It is best to speak openly and without deception in matters of the heart. You must tell me how you feel for him, Bella. I cannot make this decision blindly.”
“You mean to say you haven’t refused him outright?” An acute combination of horror and elation soared through her. She would have anticipated outrage from her brother at Jesse’s confession, not sincere contemplation of giving her to the man in wedlock.
Rebel Love (Heart's Temptation Book 2) Page 20
