by M. J. Fields
Without thinking, I grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, shit happens every day. Your dad graduated West Point, correct?”
“Yes.”
“He was an officer. Not an enlisted man who clawed his way up the ranks, right?”
I looked at him for a moment too long.
“I got nothing against it. My Momma walked away from a controlling family who disowned her for marrying my father. Momma’s family had more money than I could have ever imagined in my life. My parents were too proud to ask for help even when times got rough. Your Mom married a man who is wealthy correct?”
I nodded.
“That’s part of your issue with my family having money?”
I didn’t answer, I just looked down at our hands.
“Your Dad make you feel like shit about men with money?”
I wouldn’t fight with him, partially because he was right.
“Your Mom didn’t leave him because of money, that’s not how love works. She left him because she wasn’t feeling respected, cared for, and treasured by a man who promised to do just that. He failed her, and you, Bekah.” He took a deep breath and rolled his neck stretching like he did when he was stressed. “I would never judge you based on anything in your past or your present. I told you everything about me that could possibly deter you from granting me access to you. I fought for you, Bekah. I’ve done some real crazy shit to make sure I have access to you. Do you know why?”
I shook my head no, because I was so confused and conflicted. “I didn’t mean to make you feel…”
“You’ve tormented me for five days now. Giving me nothing to hold onto, yet I’m still here.”
“I need to be strong for myself. I need that control back in my life.”
“You need to know that I can’t stop what I feel for you, you’ve gotten inside me so deep.”
“Only because you’ve never been told no,” I whispered.
“You aren’t telling me no, Bekah.”
“I’m trying.”
“You need to stop trying. I’m not going anywhere. Look at me, Kitten.” He lifted my chin. “Il mio dolce gattino, sei il mio tesoro, entra nella mia vita.”
“What does that mean?”
His lips were inches from mine, centimeters. I was burning up. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. I lifted my chin to accept his kiss.
He released my chin and I opened my eyes. “You already know what it means, because you feel the same.”
And that was it. He pulled onto the street and dropped my hand.
I watched the smug look cross his face and it pissed me off.
“I’m not a toy!”
“Never said or treated you as if you were.” he was calm, cool, and collected now.
I reached down and grabbed the file Dex had given me and threw it on his lap. “I’m not even your type! I’m not a size two fucking …”
“Ladies don’t say FUCK!”
He pulled over and slammed the car into park and grabbed the file and opened it. He laughed when he saw the pictures. “Do any of these mean a damn thing to you, Bekah?”
“They mean you’re playing with me! They mean your slumming it. They mean…”
He grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me to his mouth and kissed me. Lips smacking, tongues fighting, and teeth mashing. I was pulling his hair and he was so angry he was shaking. He pulled away and growled at me and then threw the car in drive and peeled out down the road. The car was fishtailing and seemingly out of control. He handled it just like he handles me.
As he pulled down my road he looked over at me. “If I wanted any one of them I could have them! I fucking just want you, you stubborn little…God damn it you make me so fucking angry!”
He pulled into the driveway and slammed on the brakes, skidding to a stop perfectly into my parking spot.
He took several deep breaths and looked over at me and released my seat belt. “Get out now.”
He opened his door and popped the trunk. I watched him grab my bags. “Go!”
I jumped and walked quickly to the door. He stood next to me holding the keys and his hands were shaking he was so pissed.
He held open the door and I walked in. He followed me up the stairs and opened the door.
When we walked in, Tiffany and Drew were making out on the couch. Zandor laughed condescendingly and walked past them into my room.
Tiffany looked up and smiled wearily. “Welcome back.” I had no idea what she was doing and she could tell I was confused. “Long story. We’ll chat later?”
I nodded my head and walked into my room and found Zandor pacing.
I shut the door behind me and I looked at him.
He opened his mouth several times to speak and nothing came out but angry laughs each time.
Finally, when he had worn a pattern into my carpet he stopped and glared at my nightstand.
He stormed over and opened Cullen manor and grabbed poor Edward. Then he looked at my bed and grabbed Henry and shoved Edward into Henry’s case.
“Put them back.” I tried to sound fierce but it didn’t work.
“One last thing and then I need to leave before I spank that ass and fuck you raw!”
“Zandor, they’ll hear you,” I whispered.
“I don’t give a fuck! You should know that the thought has crossed my mind more than once to take you away from here, and keep you all to myself! So no one else can hurt you and so I don’t have to lay awake at night wondering who is or wants to be fucking MY lady! Apparently that’s illegal! You have me so fucked up right now I’m stealing your fucking vibrator so you can’t get off unless it’s with me. There is so much more I wanna tell you, so many ways I want to please you, make you purr into my neck and a thousand more ways I wanna make you cum. So once you decide your worth it, let me know, because I have no fucking clue what more I could possibly do to make you get how fucking deep my feelings are. So you and your wet little pussy can go snuggle up in bed together and think about what it is you’re missing when I walk out that door. Because let me tell you something, I’m fucking worth it!”
He threw keys on my bed. “These are my keys, you’ll be driving this until I get your car back to you. Your fucking tires are bald!”
He didn’t go quietly either. He slammed every door he went through and then I heard tires squeal all the way down the road.
I stood in the window watching the falling snow over the skid marks he left down my road, knowing no amount of snow or time would ever cover or remove the scar he could leave on my heart.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there but I know it was a long time. I unzipped the coat and took it off and laid it on my bed. I shut the drawer to Cullen manor, I had no more reason to visit it anymore.
Tiff walked in with a big glass of water.
“You wanna talk?” she asked as she handed it to me.
“What’s up with you and Drew?”
“He just left.We decided to try to work things out.” Her eyes widened and she whispered, “Sober.”
“Xavier?”
“It was fun, really, really fun but he’s not in the same place I am.”
“Where is that?”
“I think the same place you are, ready to allow myself more.”
“Did you give him my keys?”
“Well let’s just say I didn’t stop him when I answered the door and he barged in and took them.”
“He would consume me.”
“I see that.”
“I don’t even know what to do now.”
“Yes, you do, you just have to be ready.”
Neither of us said a word. Tiff gave me a hug.
“Wanna sleep in my room?”
“How are the sheets?” I smiled.
“Give me a couple minutes to change them.”
“Okay.”
She started walking out and stopped and turned around.
“Did he really steal your vibrator?”
“Yea
h, and my car.”
“That’s love girl.” She said as she walked out. “Truest form.”
~
Tiff and I lay in bed talking about all our boy issues. I didn’t like that he fucked around on her and she pointed out that she did worse. He got a blowjob from his ex and she banged boots with Xavier for nearly a week.
“It’s not my life, Tiff, you do what you need to.” I yawned.
“You’re such a good friend, better than I am ‘cause I’m gonna tell you exactly what to do regardless of whose life it is. Take time to breathe, but not too much time. I think he’s the one for you. More importantly he thinks that. He’s half mad over you. He all but screamed he loved you while he pillaged your drawers for your vibrator. That’s fucked up on so many levels but hot as hell.”
“Yeah I suppose.” I rolled to my back and starred at the ceiling.
“Drew’s not staying over?”
“No, not for a while…I’m on a diet.” I looked to her and started to laugh.
“Then we do it together.”
“Stupid boys!”
“He says things in Italian to me,” I whispered.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know usually I’m so entranced with the sound the words make in his mouth that I don’t remember. Frustrating!”
“Ask him!”
“I do and he won’t tell me.” I smiled.
“I bet he’s telling you all the nasty ways he wants to fuck you.” Tiffany giggled.
“No, it’s so soft and caring it feels like those words are just wrapping around me and holding me. And then he freaks out and goes all Jersey boy on me.”
“Well hell, don’t sound so upset, sounds like you get the best of both worlds then.”
We both lay quietly for a while and she fell asleep. She was definitely a bed hog and I was sick of getting hit in the face so I snuck out of her room and went to mine.
I lay down and looked over at the leather jacket beside me. I picked it up and looked at the tag, Dolce and Gabbana, of course. I smelled it and it smelled like heaven, Zandor Steel, and leather. I looked at my phone and he hadn’t texted.
-Please tell me you made it home all right…B
-Yeah…Z
-Good…B
-Night…Z
-Night…B
I lay down and turned on my music. Royal by Lorde was playing. He really wasn’t that materialistic right? I looked over at the coat and laughed at myself and then cried. Yeah girl do that, because right now I was overwhelmed and needed a good cry.
I sent my Dad a text telling him I was home and his reply? Goodnight kiddo.
Give You Hell
Zandor
I woke the same way I fell asleep, angry. I decided to go to the club and see what had been done while I was sitting at a fucking airport all damn day waiting for her to land. Of course I had no fucking clue what flight it was, apparently the TSA wasn’t too giving of information, which I get but it still pissed me off. I played that attendant pretty hard too, but she didn’t budge.
Bekah was one stubborn woman. But she’d never been up against the likes of me. The me I never knew existed until just three weeks ago. I came back here to straighten out my brothers and fell right in the same fucking mess they had. It was like quicksand slowly taking you in but my stubborn ass wasn’t even trying to fight it, hell no I was just sinking lower and lower.
Today I would be a player again. No, not go fuck around but I wasn’t going to go knock in her door and drag her kicking and screaming to wherever it is I’d take her, regardless of how badly I wanted to. I was gonna sit back and let her wonder where I was, what I was doing. Let her wake up feeling hung over when she hadn’t even drank. I promised myself three days before I allowed myself to fucking lose it completely.
I unlocked the door to the club and saw the boxes. At least twenty of them from that place in Italy that sold my favorite toys. It was like Toys R’ Us for big boys and I loved it. I dragged them back to the room that would be the library, slash classroom, slash conference room. A room I would be passing off as an office until the day I knew I could bend her over the big old desk and fuck her hard. The day Bekah George would know absolutely everything there was to know about what I needed from her to make this a permanent situation.
I opened the first box and it was the swing. Oh how I’d missed the swing. I couldn’t wait to have her ass strapped up in this. Bekah dangling from the ceiling at various levels of height in different positions, restrained, teased, pleasured, screaming Fuck me Zandor was going to be amazing. I was going to lick her raw as she sat in it, knees in the straps spread wide, arms restrained allowing her to hold the bar so she didn’t get too marked up. I couldn’t wait to bring her right to the edge and push her away and let her come back crashing into my tongue, my lips, my face.
The other boxes contained a variety of dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, restraint devices, anything you could imagine, and even things most of the world couldn’t even begin to imagine. I was a selfish lover. I needed control of most every sexual situation I had ever encountered. It wasn’t hard to do that. But I wasn’t a complete ass, I made sure they came first. I could get a woman off just playing with her tits and fucking her with words. Or fingers flicking the bean, or stroking the G spot. I occasionally gave past partners a lick or two but Bekah, fuck I needed to eat her, lick her, fuck her with my mouth. She drove me insane, I would bathe in her scent and taste if I could.
After placing everything into the large closet, or prop room if you will, I locked up and took off. I was meeting Falcon at Karma.
~
We sat in the back of the bar, always the best place to hang out so you could take in the entire scene. I was nursing a Johnny Walker blue label, cause we have that shit here. I really wondered what would have happened had we not taken that road trip together, would she have stayed or would she have come home and we would have just done this shit right. What was right? I mean nothing that went on between us down there felt wrong until I woke to the fucking note.
“You here, Steel?”
“Yeah sorry just been thinking.”
“About the club?”
I laughed. “Nah.”
“The girl then.” He took a drink and smirked.
“The girl, always that fucking girl.” I sat back and looked around. “All this ass in here and none of them look the least bit appetizing.”
“It takes a while. But you’ll be alright man, I swear it.”
“Shelly?”
“Yeah, the one that I fucked up with.”
“But you have a son, which is pretty damn cool.”
“Life is good,” he nodded and looked around.
Two women approached the table and smiled. “Falcon?”
“Yeah?” He sat back and looked at the ginger standing before us.
“Teresa.” She smiled.
“I remember you.” He winked. “How could I forget?”
“This is my friend, Carrie. Could we buy you two a drink?”
“Have a seat, we’ll get you one.” He motioned to the cocktail waitress and she came over and took his order.
The sexual tension between the two of them was thick. Miss Carrie was a little fox but I wasn’t hunting and she wasn’t trying, I could tell.
“New around here?”
She looked at me. “Just visiting.”
“Cool place to visit but much nicer in the summer.”
She smiled. “I bet.”
I looked down at her hand. “You married?”
“Yeah are you?”
“Nope.”
“You will be someday even if you think you won’t be.” She smiled. She had a nice smile.
“I’m not against it.”
“It’s a lot of work.” She took a sip of her drink.
“You have kids?”
“Three.” She opened her bag and pulled out a small photo book and moved over to the booth next to me.
She opened the book and beamed
as she talked about them. I liked this chick. Liked her, meaning she wasn’t someone I would have to worry about pleasing or taking care of.
I told her about my niece and she smiled when I pulled out a picture from my wallet of little Bell. Teresa and Falcon left the table and Carrie and I sat talking about night terrors. One of her kids had them, too. She would sleep walk and appear wide awake.
“I probably would have died if she was walking around in that state.”
“Yeah, the first time was crazy. I even called the pediatrician the next day.”
“You’re a good Mom.” I smiled and sat back.
I laughed when I pointed to Falcon and Teresa sucking face on the dance floor. She blushed and looked away.
“She likes him.” She nodded.
“Apparently.” I laughed and looked around.
I saw Tiffany first and then looked around and saw Bekah, in a pretty short skirt.
“Fuck!”
“Everything alright?” I didn’t answer and she laughed. “The blonde?”
“Bekah,” I grumbled.
“Don’t feel like you have to sit and babysit me, go say hello.”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Okay.”
She didn’t pry which was good because I probably would have spilled it all to her. Fuck, I was becoming a pussy.
“I’m going to get a drink you want one?”
“No, no more alcohol or I’ll make a scene.”
She laughed and I looked at her.
“Sorry it’s just…”
“I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yeah I do. Relationships take a lot of work.”
