“You’re going to talk through the microphone. From there. Like that.”
“Yes. That is the second deal we must make.” His tail swished. “Ah, I am not used to those visiting my inner sanctum.”
“Most people fall into the pit, huh?”
“All of them.”
“Guess I should feel like a winner.” The dog growled in the corner and let out a slow, pained yelp. Whether that was involuntary or to encourage me to stay on track, I couldn’t tell.
“Filthy beast.”
“You’re repeating yourself, Sphinx.”
“Alfred.” His chest puffed out, like it was the name of royalty instead of butlers. Although, given the size of his stomach, it’d probably been awhile since he’d ventured outside at all. A thousand years ago, that name was in style.
“Time to hold up your end of the deal.”
“Oh, but that was not the deal.” Alfred adjusted the microphone with his paws, his darting eyes looking me over. “First, there is a test.”
Smoke steamed off my shirt collar. “A test.”
“What is the creature who walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three—”
“You’re going to be walking on zero fucking legs if you don’t cut the bullshit.” A small burst of flame erupted in the top corner of the chamber. For all his talk about me being the equivalent of an unskilled steroid-using buffoon, the shaking legs told me all I needed to know.
“Right. Yeah. That’s a little outdated. Too easy. Cliché.” I got the distinct sensation that he was trying to stall or come up with a solution to get rid of me. So I jabbed with my foot, making it seem like I would lunge and pick him up. “Fine.”
There were mutterings about how I was a piece of shit, amongst other color commentary, as he rose from the bed and padded toward the TV.
“I don’t want to watch Hawaii Five-O.”
“You should be so lucky,” Alfred said, his tail raised in an aristocratic arc that did not jibe with his squat jellyroll of a body. “The show is goddamn hilarious.”
At this point, I didn’t know what was true and what was a lie, and my demonic inclination to wring his fat neck didn’t help matters, either. The Machiavellian side of me won out, telling me to be patient as my enemy revealed his plans.
This was difficult, not least of all because it’s hard to consider an ordinary house cat your adversary. But such were the times, so I bit my tongue as he batted at the television dial with his paw.
“You could assist me in this endeavor, Kalos.”
“I’m good, Sir Alfred.”
“Your filthy beast will die and you will burn up if I do not grant you a deal.”
This was the first I’d heard about the dog having a shot at survival. It barely registered. Instead, I was more concerned about the latter prognostication.
“Burn up.”
“The Realmfarer didn’t mention that?” Alfred jumped lazily, hitting his skull against the plastic knob to change the station. The image flicked from snow to long-defunct programs to symbols that I couldn’t understand. “Well of course she didn’t.”
I wasn’t sure what Ruby exactly would’ve told me, but the way he said it made me feel like she’d kept a secret, and been neglectful in doing so.
He stopped jumping for a moment and gave me a sly smile. “You wish to know, don’t you?”
“No.”
“But your eyes say yes.”
“You’re a liar.”
“What’s the difference when you’ve melted into a puddle?” His whiskers turned up into a vicious feline smirk before he nonchalantly returned to channel surfing.
Getting hit with your own damn comebacks was the worst.
The fat cat let out a purr, backing away from the wood-paneled set with a satisfied nod. At first there was nothing but snow, but gradually a picture blurred into focus. It was only text, similar to the command line of an old computer.
But it got the message across just fine.
Despite my overheating, a chill raced up my spine.
“That is most unfortunate,” Alfred said. “The system must really despise you and your filthy beast.”
“No.” My answer was flat and unequivocal. I looked down at Alfred, who arched his back and raised one eyebrow at me.
“I don’t make the deals.”
“You just said you made the fucking deals.”
“I’m sort of a middleman.”
“Then take me to the person who makes the deals,” I said, stabbing my finger at the pulsing screen, “because this garbage is unacceptable.”
“It’s magic, demon,” Alfred replied, padding softly over to the bed. He leapt up on the covers and resumed his perch next to the microphone. The reverb-heavy, sweet molasses voice told me, “You understand that magic is often a black box.”
“No.”
“Say no three times and the opportunity will disappear forever.”
He’s a goddamn liar.
Still, I didn’t blurt out a third no. Or accept his offer, or the explanation behind it. Magic was complicated, but I didn’t want to entrust my fate to a television arbiter.
That was a lie. Because I wouldn’t accept that deal from the most noble man alive.
“How about this deal,” I said, still staring at the screen. “I don’t kill you, and you get me to the point where I can function.”
But you can function, a demonic voice whispered. I managed to swat it away with promises that everything would be the same, but better. I almost believed my own bullshit, even covered in sweat and ready to strangle this stupid cat.
Alfred’s voice shook, but his answer remained the same. “You misunderstand the term middleman, demon.”
“Maybe you misunderstand my patience.”
The walls rattled thunderously and the fluorescent bulb went out, leaving only the television and its insulting offer to light the small chamber. I lunged toward Alfred, certain that he was responsible. The cat nimbly evaded my grasp, disappearing into the shadows.
His eyes glowed. “You’re insane, demon.”
“You’re the one who just triggered an earthquake.”
“I did no such thing.” He hissed with great venom. “I would rather live a thousand more years without visitors than see—”
A chunk of rock hurtled into the bed, cracking the wooden frame in two with tremendous force. We looked at one another, realizing with great terror that, in fact, we were both telling the truth.
Neither of us was responsible for the pyramid collapsing.
But if we weren’t in control, that begged a rather ominous question.
Who the hell was?
30
“Accept the deal!” Alfred practically shrieked as the structure around us tumbled. “There is no alternative, demon.”
His words felt like poisonous rakes being jammed into my ears. “I would rather die.”
“And let Marrack win?”
That grabbed my attention. Coupled with the surge of adrenaline from the environment, blood rushed to my head, flooding my thoughts. As much as I wanted to kill Alfred, seeing Marrack torn limb-from-limb would be the ultimate luxury. And perhaps, after all was said and done, I could assume his role…
Yes, a role at the top of the world. Ruling with this addictive focus and massive clarity. I looked up at the ceiling, spotting a loose stone quivering. Instead of immediately side-stepping it, I waited. It hurtled downward in slow motion.
Without any effort at all, I merely glided forward, feeling it cut through the air harmlessly behind me. The impact’s rhythm thrummed through my body like a strange narcotic. I fed off the destruction of the environment, and it fed off me.
The illusion was broken when Alfred said, “Well?”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said with a dismissive wave of the ha
nd, eager to get back to my grandiose delusions. “That bastard isn’t going to win.”
“So you accept the deal,” he said in a skeptical voice.
“Fucking Christ, are you deaf?”
“I would like a clear yes, demon.”
“Yes.”
Really. I had empires to plan, and this piss-ant was bothering me about signing the proverbial forms. Perhaps I would force Marrack into eternal servitude, as a cruel twist of ironic fate—
I buckled to my knees as the deal went through, feeling as though someone had taken a sledgehammer to my stomach. I could no longer tell whether the room was shaking, or if I was. Claws tapped against the stone floor as I knelt, eyes closed, waiting for the pain to stop.
“Kal.” The voice was weak, but familiar. I opened one eye, finding Argos standing unsteadily before me. He looked sad and bedraggled, but about a hundred times better than a few minutes before.
Instead of rejoicing, the first words out of my mouth were, “Shit, I really made the deal.”
His deep brown eyes blinked twice, and he looked about ready to say something.
“Excuse me.” Alfred cleared his throat. I glanced up to find him perched atop the television, which was somehow surviving the quake. “I believe we have bigger problems.”
I pushed my knuckles against the rough ground, almost falling over. After a few seconds, I managed to stand. My shirt was drenched in a sickly sweat, but I no longer felt overheated. Everything buzzed with a strange unfamiliarity that I didn’t appreciate.
“You have bigger problems.” I looked down at Argos. “Can you walk?”
“Sure.” It sounded like more of a question that I would have liked, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. I wasn’t convinced I could carry him out.
Alfred, for his part, was, and leapt into my arms. When I tried to bat him down, his claws dug into my shirt.
“I’m not dying, asshole.”
“That’s really up to you.” I tried to swat him on the head, but he ducked. Around us, the pyramid threatened to implode at any minute.
“I can be useful.”
“You’re just a middleman, remember?” As if to drive the point home, a chunk of rock plummeted right into the center of the television set. It sputtered and died in a sad shower of sparks, plunging the room into absolute blackness.
“I know the way out,” he said in his reedy voice. “And perhaps I know other things as well.”
“I doubt that.”
“Perhaps I know where they’re keeping the girl.”
“What girl?”
“Your little crush.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “That’s impossible.”
“Can you live with not knowing?”
I wished he could see the pissed-off look on my face. My eyes no longer glowed, or burned, so I resorted to squeezing his neck harder than necessary.
“Lead the way, Sphinx.”
Despite being fat, Alfred had walked the halls enough to know them perfectly in the dark. He also seemed oddly capable of anticipating pitfalls and crumbling rocks. I thought little of it, distracted largely by the overload of emotions running through my head.
That, and worry about Argos. I stopped every few steps, listening to his feet, breathing a sigh of relief when I would feel the border collie brush against my pants.
After what seemed like hours, we emerged on the cliffs without a scratch. Which was too much of a miracle to be a coincidence.
Ruby confirmed this when she sprinted around from the front of the pyramid, shotgun leveled. “That son of a bitch brought the whole place down.”
My eyes were three-quarters shut from the light, but I could certainly feel Alfred’s claws digging into my skin. “Let’s be a little careful with the shooting, shall we?”
I sensed her double-take, more than I saw it.
But the next words told me that, if I’d had any doubts about the deal’s veracity before, they were pretty much gone.
“You’re…you’re a—”
“Mortal,” I said, nodding as the Agonia sun filtered through the slits in my closed eyes. “A deal’s a deal.”
I didn’t add anything about my reservations. I’m sure they were radiating about my head, doubt replacing the darkness that had hung there for over seven millennia.
I wasn’t sure I liked the ring of Kalos Aeon, human being.
But the deal was done.
And I’d just have to deal with the consequences.
31
All my essence, and the swirl of elements that made half-demon, in exchange for the dog’s life.
And my full human soul.
Such was the deal.
Ruby threatened to shoot Alfred as I reflected on this twist of fate. I didn’t really listen. Instead, I sat near the tree line on the peninsula, staring at my hands. They looked no different than before. I wasn’t even sure they felt different.
“Firus ignitus,” I whispered, waiting for the tell-tale spark or burst of flame to erupt on the horizon. The hollow twinge in my chest. But nothing changed. Ruby kept yelling, Alfred kept moving behind me as a defense against her shotgun, and Argos zipped along the beach, near-death experiences be damned.
He’d made an astounding recovery in the past hour. I watched as he stopped and headed toward the water.
“Don’t drink that—”
Too late. His smile turned into a frown as he hacked and coughed, dropping to the sand. His front paws flailed at his throat, trying to scratch an unreachable itch. After a minute of futility, he flopped back to his feet and inched back toward the group, making occasional hacking noises.
My gaze returned to Ruby, finding her unamused.
“You’re not listening.”
“Your Realmfarer instincts tell you that, or was it something else that tipped you off?”
“Witty as ever,” Ruby said. “Apparently you’re just an asshole.”
“Well, I was a thief when I was…”
It was difficult to say the word, or even think it. Mortal. Most creatures of essence looked down upon those of normal blood. I’d never taken that road, but I had to admit, sitting here on the grass, that the demon thing had become part of my identity.
Maybe my entire identity.
Kalos, tax accountant, didn’t have the same kind of panache.
I grimaced as a swarm of fire ants bit me in the ass. When they wouldn’t leave me alone, I hopped up, Alfred trailing close behind.
“Fuck this place.”
“Be happy,” Ruby said, arms crossed. “This turned out better than expected.” She nodded toward Argos.
The border collie’s tail thumped against my leg as he pressed his muzzle into my shin. I scratched him on the ears and he growled.
“What happened to the man of wealth and taste?”
“No one’s watching down here, Kal.” He coughed and hacked, his mouth opened in a wide snarl. Still itchy from the water. After sneezing a couple times, he lay down on his side.
I felt Alfred tap me on the back with his claws.
“What?” I’d found that my urge to strangle the Sphinx and watch him bleed out after I nailed him to the wall hadn’t been entirely demonic. Or even, really, half-demonic. It was just a normal human reaction to dealing with a supreme asshole.
“A little point of clarification on your filthy beast’s words.”
“Not now.”
“There is someone watching.”
I spun around, snaring the cat by the throat. His legs thrashed in the air as I held him in front of my face. Fear mixed in his shifty eyes with annoyance. Apparently this was not how a Sphinx was accustomed to being treated.
Tough shit.
“You have two seconds.”
“What happened to three?”
“One,” I said.
> “Jesus, just put me down.” He let out a reedy hiss when I didn’t move. “I might have sent up a notification topside.”
“Put the cat down so I can shoot him.” Past the fat, thrashing feline form I saw Ruby aiming down the sights. Even though Alfred didn’t have eyes in the back of his head, he sensed the threat well enough. He stretched his limbs out as far as he could, making sure she couldn’t pick him off without shooting me too.
“Calm down,” I said.
Ruby raised her eyebrow, surprised that I was suddenly the voice of reason. Maybe I just didn’t want to be shot in the face by friendly fire when she zapped the stupid dealmaker. Alfred, seeing an opportunity, swung his feet upward, hooking his claws into my forearm.
Blood dribbled down my pallid skin as I tried to shake him free.
“You should know that I have a knife in my boot,” I said.
“I’ll take my chances with a human.”
I sighed, arm stinging. “What do you want?”
“A pass out of here.”
“Not happening.”
“Then you won’t know who got my message.” He stuck his pink tongue out. “Or what I know about your girlfriend.”
The shotgun pumped and Ruby said, “We don’t have time for this shit.”
I agreed, which is why I said, “We’ll take your ass along.”
Relief flooded into Alfred’s reedy voice, his taut limbs slackening. “You promise?”
I hadn’t thought about the code. Would I need it any longer? Humans did plenty of evil things on their own. Couldn’t be a bad thing. Besides, it was the only part of me aside from Argos that felt familiar. That and the .45, which Ruby had so kindly looked after while I was inside the pyramid.
I briefly caught Alfred’s eye as he clung to my arm. “You have my word.”
“And the Realmfarer’s as well?”
“Christ,” Ruby said. “Just get on with it.”
“I wanna hear—”
“Yes, esteemed dealmaker. I won’t kill you.”
“Good.” His voice took on an oily tone, like a used car dealer who had just closed a heavily unfair deal. “Because I sent a message to Marrack.” He cleared his throat. “Or his associates. He was unavailable, which I thought rather odd.”
Moon Burn (The Half-Demon Rogue Trilogy Book 3) Page 14
