by Rachel Cohn
“Sucks that we share that in common,” said Ryuu.
“Agreed,” I said. “Not all Japanese parents are like yours and Kenji, though, right?” I was also thinking about Akemi’s nontraditional parents.
“Ours are definitely the exception to the rule. Japanese people are very traditional and family-oriented. You get a skewed perception at a school like ICS-Tokyo, where people are so wealthy and privileged.”
“It doesn’t feel like real life there,” I admitted.
“Exactly,” said Ryuu.
We reached the entrance to the pond area. Ryuu said, “This is Shinobazu Pond. In the summer, the water is covered in green plants with lotus blooms. It’s pretty spectacular.”
I clenched his hand. “You are a nerd. You know that?”
He smiled down at me, a flop of blue-black hair covering the side of his face. “Aw, stop flattering me. Want to go on a boat ride?”
“I sure do!”
I thought he meant we’d take a city cruise along the river. Instead, we went through a turnstile in the park where small boats were lined up at a dock, available for rent.
“No!” I said. The boats were shaped like swans, with little cabins to climb into that looked like kids’ covered wagons. So cheesy, so amazing.
“Yes!” he said.
He paid for our rental, and we stepped inside a pink swan pedal boat. “Do you have a license to operate this?” I teased.
“Only a license for . . . danger,” he joked. He made a VROOOM sound, and then we both pressed onto the pedals. We zoomed away from the dock and out into
the water at what felt like a turtle’s pace. Leisurely, we swan-boated across the pond, surrounded by the park’s trees and the city’s tall buildings in the distance.
“You’re kind of perfect,” I said to him when we reached the middle of the pond and stopped our pedaling.
He leaned over to kiss me. “No, you are,” he whispered.
I still hadn’t told Ryuu that Kenji said I shouldn’t associate with him.
And I never would.
Because I would never, ever let Kenji forbid me from seeing this magical boy.
“I don’t want to go home,” I told Ryuu as he walked me across the driveway to the entrance of Tak-Luxxe. I was so wrapped up in him, I didn’t care how close we were to my building, where Lord Skyscraper, somewhere up in the clouds, would be displeased if he saw me bringing Ryuu home.
“Me neither.”
“Want to hang out tomorrow?” I asked. The next day was Saturday. We could spend the whole day together.
“I wish. We’re going to visit my grandmother in the countryside tomorrow. Maybe Sunday.”
“Sunday Funday! Yes!”
We’d reached the end of the walkway. “Text me when you get upstairs,” said Ryuu.
“I’ll text you when I’m in the elevator.”
“I’ll text you when I’m back on the main street.”
We both laughed, our hands still clasped together. I wasn’t ready to kiss him good-bye here, in front of all the Tak-Luxxe employees. Instead, I gave Ryuu a friendly nudge on the shoulder and said, “Bye. Text you in five minutes.”
Ryuu swept away a blue streak of hair that had fallen in front of his beautiful face. “See you,” he said. He turned around and headed in the opposite direction, away from my fluttering heart.
When I looked up, Kim Takahara was standing at the taxi area. I’d been so enamored of Ryuu that I hadn’t noticed her there. A bellhop blew a whistle and called out “Takushi!”
Kim asked me, “Was that Satoshi Kimura’s son dropping you off?”
“Yup!” I said, giddy about Ryuu, and double giddy that it would piss off Kim. This thing between me and Ryuu was real. It was amazing. I hadn’t intended to flaunt it at Tak-Luxxe, but I wasn’t going to hide it either.
I was shocked when I reached the penthouse to find Kenji at home, at five o’clock in the evening. I’d never seen him home on a school day until after dinnertime, and then usually just to quickly drop me off after our meals together.
He didn’t bother with hi. Instead, he said, “Satoshi Kimura’s family cannot be seen here. My sister just messaged me to tell you not to bring that boy home from school. Is he your boyfriend?”
I came into the living room after changing my shoes, and when I sat down, I saw that there was a bottle of scotch on the side table next to where Kenji sat, a glass in his hand.
Fuck.
Okay, I’d try to react calmly and not blow up the way I wanted to.
I answered truthfully. “We’re good friends. I like him a lot.”
“He’s dangerous to have as a friend. I told you not to associate with him.”
Even though I wanted to explode with anger at Kenji, I managed to keep my voice steady and firm as I stated my case. “You can’t tell me who I can and can’t hang out with. I’ll be friends with and date whomever I want, whether you like them or not. And you shouldn’t hold Ryuu accountable for the sins of his father. That’s ridiculous.”
Kenji took a gulp from his glass.
Double fuck. Triple fuck. A million trillion fucks.
I was so angry at Kenji and Kim for saying Ryuu wasn’t welcome here, but I restrained from further challenging Kenji. The drink in his hand was so much bigger a problem. I knew a Beast returning from the dark when I saw it.
Kenji said, “Why can’t you go out with a boy like Nik Zhzhonov? I saw how he looked at you at Parents’ Night.” Oh, you mean before you left the event early? “It was obvious he likes you.”
“Well, I don’t like him. In fact, he and Imogen and their crowd have shut me out. We’re not friends anymore.”
Kenji shook his head. “That’s very disappointing,” he said, without asking why, implying I was at fault.
What a fucking outrage. “I did kiss Nik once,” I admitted. “But it turned out Nik thought it meant more than it did. Did you know Alexei Zhzhonov’s overprivileged son is also into little date-rape games?”
“Don’t say such terrible things!” Kenji slobbered. It didn’t seem to occur to him to ask, Did he try to hurt you? I couldn’t believe it. If I’d told Mom about this, even if she’d been high out of her mind, she would have immediately called the cops and had Nik arrested. Even when she was wasted, her protective instinct was intact. Kenji had none. I didn’t have a chance to sputter an answer before he added, “Maybe you living here isn’t a good idea.”
I didn’t know if I was more upset that he was drunk and defending Nik fucking Zhzhonov, or that I knew for sure in this moment that Kenji would never be the knight in shining armor I wanted him to be. His wealth and charisma only masked his true self: a coward.
But he was a drunk coward I desperately didn’t want to leave. I’d only just started to feel settled. I was doing well in school, even if I’d been excommunicated by the Ex-Brats. I had a good friend in Akemi, the official swim team competition would start in early spring, and Ryuu was here. Ryuu, Ryuu, Ryuu.
And, I wasn’t prepared to be abandoned. Again. Even if I wasn’t surprised by the possibility.
“I don’t want to go,” I stated plainly. I was tired of holding back what I really felt. “Even if you are a lousy father who cares more about working and appearances than getting to know the daughter you left behind, who so pathetically wants to be part of your life.” It hurt so much to say it, but it also felt liberating. The truth was out there now, even if Kenji was so drunk he probably wouldn’t even remember what I said.
He took another drink of his scotch. His face reddened, absorbing the impact of the booze or what I’d said, or both. His phone buzzed. He looked at the message and then stood up. “I have to return to work. We’ll discuss your options tomorrow.”
Kenji left the apartment.
Hell no.
I wasn’t leaving Japan. I refused to be a disposable daughter.
I returned to my room to text Ryuu, but I had several messages on my phone from Akemi, asking me to meet her in Ikebana C
afé immediately. I went up to the restaurant, which was humming with dinner patrons. I found Akemi sitting at the bench that circled the giant ikebana tree in the center of the room. She had a stack of takeout food containers sitting next to her.
“What’s going on?” I asked her. She looked both sad and agitated.
“I’m so glad you saw my messages. I came down here to get some food for the plane. My mother will be here any second. We’re leaving.”
“Where are you going?”
“We’re leaving Tokyo.” She could barely get the words out. She looked like she was about to cry.
“For the weekend?”
“No. We’re going to Brazil. To stay with my mother’s brother there.”
No way! “You’re leaving, like, this minute? How come you didn’t say anything before?”
“I only just found out. I came home from school today and Mother said we’re leaving. Father has business trouble. His money has been frozen by the banks. The police are going to arrest him.”
Holy shit! “For what?” Akemi took an English-language newspaper from her backpack and handed it to me. It was folded open to an article about the Japanese government’s case against crime lord Takeo Kinoshita for money laundering and drug trafficking.
Oh my God.
The few times I’d seen him, Akemi’s father seemed like a nice enough old guy—at least for a man who kept families in different cities. I thought having two unreliable addicts for parents was tough. Poor Akemi. “I’m so sorry, Akemi. Did you know?”
She shrugged. “It was like I knew but pretended I didn’t.” I totally understood. That was exactly how I felt when the Beast took over Mom’s life, and mine by extension. I knew it was going to end badly, but I pretended as long as I could that we would be okay. Just like I was probably doing with Kenji right now.
Akemi’s mother arrived, carrying a travel bag. I saw the bellhop waiting in the lobby behind her with four large suitcases. She spoke to Akemi in Japanese and smiled at me for the first time. I didn’t know she was capable of a smile—and now, of all times.
I couldn’t help myself. Japanese people weren’t huggers, but I grabbed Akemi into a hug anyway, and squeezed hard. “Text me when you get there. Okay? We’ll stay in touch. Always.”
Tears streamed down Akemi’s cheeks. She nodded. “Let’s be friends forever.”
“You can’t get rid of me,” I said, feeling myself choking up.
Her mother extended her hand, and Akemi stood up and took it. “Bye, Elle,” she said. They followed the bellhop to the elevator, and Akemi was gone.
Everything in my life the last few years had prepared me for this sudden shock, but that didn’t make the sadness any less powerful. I knew better than to think anything good, like a privileged life in Tokyo, could last. Today should have been one of the brightest days of my life. I liked a cute boy. He liked me back. I had just been daydreaming about our future together. Now it felt like everything was crashing down around me. That sinking feeling was made worse when Tak Luxxe’s jack-of-all-trades employee Dev Flaherty approached me. His face appeared grim as he saw the newspaper article Akemi had left behind on the bench. “Crazy stuff, eh?” he said.
“Basically,” I said. Crazy and wrong and unfair that whatever crimes her father had committed, Akemi’s life had to be totally upended.
As if I didn’t feel bad enough, Dev said, “Kim Takahara just called the concierge desk. She’s looking for you. I said I spotted you up here. She asked if you’d meet her in Mrs. Takahara’s suite.”
Great. Just what I needed right now. But everything was shit anyway. I stood up, knowing it was about to get worse. The storm had turned to a cyclone.
When I arrived at Mrs. Takahara’s apartment, tea service had been set up in the living room, with fine china and beautiful little cookies arranged on a tray. It was like they were having a tea party for the girl I suspected they were about to throw to the lions.
Mrs. Takahara sat regally in her side chair, with Kim sitting on a chair opposite her, and me in the middle, on the sofa. I didn’t dare touch the tea or cookies. I was so nervous I was sure I’d spill the tea or barf up the cookies.
Kim said, “Thank you for coming, Elle. I think it’s time we speak frankly.”
I gulped and nodded. Mrs. Takahara sipped from her teacup and let Kim do the talking.
“I presume you saw Kenji this evening?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Then I presume you could see he was drinking. Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident.”
“I know he’s had alcohol problems in the past,” I said. “I’m sure it’s just a onetime lapse. He’ll be fine!” How fucked-up that I was trying to defend him, when he was doing nothing to protect me.
Kim shook her head. “It’s more than a temporary lapse. He’s been drinking privately for the past few weeks.”
“How do you know that?” I said.
Mrs. Takahara spoke up. “I pay employees to watch him and tell me.” That made total sense. She seemed like exactly the kind of person who would do something like that to her own son.
Kim said, “As you may have noticed, the environment at Tak-Luxxe has been tense with the government audit. The pressure is too much for my brother, in my opinion.”
Since we were speaking frankly, it seemed like the best time to ask what I really wanted to know. “Is he yakuza?”
Mrs. Takahara’s eyes could have burned a hole in me. She and Kim started speaking rapidly in Japanese. The conversation sounded heated. Finally, Kim said to me, “While Mother doesn’t consider that a polite question to ask, the answer is no. However, Kenji did make some improper financial deals with Mr. Kinoshita, which are having a ripple effect on Tak-Luxxe now that Mr. Kinoshita is being indicted.”
“Whoa” was all I could say. Did that make Kenji a criminal? Or an accessory to a crime?
Kim said, “Kenji is going to need to take a leave of absence from the company to address the improprieties. And sort out his own life.” She looked to Mrs. Takahara and nodded.
Mrs. Takahara reached for a binder on the table next to her. She picked it up and handed it to me. “Options in America for you,” she said.
I took the binder and opened it. It was filled with laminated brochures for boarding schools in America.
So, Kenji was a crook and a drunk, and because of that, I was going to have no home.
I decided to go for broke and say what I really felt. What did I have to lose? I looked at Mrs. Takahara and addressed her in a manner I thought she’d possibly appreciate. It killed me to speak so openly and without anger to this person I didn’t like, when my heart and mind both felt like exploding from stress. “I would like to respectfully ask to stay. I like my school and I like my life here, but it’s not about the privileges you’ve so kindly given me. It’s about wanting to connect more with my Japanese heritage. I admire the work ethic here, the order and the sense of duty, the kindness of the people.” Except for you, I didn’t add to Mrs. Takahara. “I promise I won’t be any trouble.” Except that I will never accept your unfair dismissal of Ryuu Kimura. You just need to get to know him! “I’d like the opportunity to know my own culture better. I’d like to know you better, and be part of your lives.”
I knew I sounded like a pathetic suck-up, but I actually meant what I said.
Mrs. Takahara and Kim spoke in Japanese again. Damn it, I needed to learn this language already. Then Kim said to me, “We appreciate your wanting to be connected with your Japanese heritage and family. That’s very admirable. It’s unfortunate that the timing of you being here is so bad. We are too focused on the crisis at the business. We can’t be the family that you’d want us to be right now. If you look through the brochures, you’ll see we found some nice schools in Maryland and Pennsylvania so you could be near to your mother. Of course we will pay for your education and make sure you are able to visit with her.”
We all knew that was a guilt payoff on their part. But I d
idn’t get a chance to tell them that, because Kenji came through the front door and then hustled into the living room without even changing his shoes. I could smell the alcohol on his breath before he was even close to me. His hair was disheveled, his shirt and tie loose, his eyes bloodshot. He looked like hell. If he was at a level-five drunk when I saw him an hour or so ago, now he was at an eight or nine.
“Oh, so now you’re all meeting without me!” he said in English.
Mrs. Takahara stood up and started berating him in Japanese.
He didn’t answer her but turned to me when his mother was finished. He said, “She’s right. I missed too many years with you. Maybe now it’s too late.”
“It’s not!” I cried out.
I’d never felt more betrayed. Not when the Beast consumed my mother and she lost our house and her negligence caused Hufflepuff to die, or when she was arrested and sent to jail, and I was the collateral damage sent to foster care. I wanted to die of shame—for him.
In English, Mrs. Takahara said, “Kenji, your daughter should not be here. You are no good for her.”
Kim said, “I’m afraid I have to agree. I regret encouraging Kenji to try this experiment. I know he wanted to be part of your life, but Kenji’s clearly not able to be a father.”
“I’m not an experiment!” I said.
Kenji sank down onto the couch and put his head in his hands. Then he looked back up at me and said, “They’re right, Elle. You should go back to America.”
Absolutely not.
I wasn’t ready to leave Japan.
I refused to leave Ryuu.
My deadbeat father and his family who appeared out of nowhere after sixteen years didn’t get to decide where I was going. Nobody but me should be allowed to be the architect of my destiny. I decided where I was going, and that place was: I didn’t know, long term. But short term: anywhere away from Tak-Luxxe.
