“Do you want to?”
“Teddy,” she grabbed my hand, “sometimes I see something in you that is so… different. It’s like you’re begging me to take you aside and tell you it’s okay to be the person you want to be rather than the person everyone expects you to be.”
And I thought I was a closed book…
“Let’s sit.”
“I like standing.”
“No, we need to sit.” I began to lay out the blanket.
“Can we lie down?”
“So you either want to stand or lie down, but sitting is out of the question. You are very interesting.”
“I am very interesting.” She winked at me before falling to the ground, and cozying herself into the perfect position to look at the stars.
I found my spot next to her, allowing the back of my hand to touch hers. It was oddly satisfying. In that moment, it was all I needed.
You know when you’re a teenager, and you have your first real significant other? You spend all night on the phone with them, talking about likes, dislikes, the past, the present, the future…? That night on the beach was the grown-up version of those all-nighter phone calls. I think you can easily take for granted how important those times can be. It’s when you truly learn about a person. But you also learn how excited you are to be sharing that time with that person. Sleep is so precious. When you don’t think twice about giving it up just for another few shared breaths with someone else, it really means something.
At least it meant something to me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Teddy
“Chick flicks? Really? Ashley, I thought so much more of you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Do my silly fairy tales not measure up to your beat them up and kill them kind of movies?”
“Superheroes. What is wrong with superheroes?”
“It’s still fantasy! You can’t judge me for my romantic comedies if you turn around and throw on comic book movies.”
“But comic books are awesome!”
“Since when are you a nerd?”
“Since when are you a girl?”
“Excuse me?”
“That came out wrong.”
“A little bit.”
“Okay, just please don’t tell me you’re into vampires.”
Silence.
“What? Who are you?”
“It’s not like I believe in them. It’s just that… I mean, come on, it’s kind of sexy.”
“They eat people!”
“No they don’t! Well, not exactly, but that’s not the sexy part.”
“Immortality?”
“Mmm, no, not that either.”
“Okay, we’re coming back to that.”
“Just like we’re coming back to the monkeys and the parade?
“I’m still not over the whole you being attracted to vampires thing.”
“You threw yourself a parade!”
“Vampires first.”
“It’s mystery, it’s unknown, it’s dangerous. That’s what’s sexy.”
“Like me?”
“I’m not answering that.”
“So that’s a ‘yes’?”
“You’ve never thought about vampires? Really?”
“And now you’re dodging my question!”
“You’re dodging mine! You can’t tell me that if a beautiful woman came onto you, who happened to be a vampire, you wouldn’t be the least bit intrigued.”
Okay, she had a point.
“Okay, you have a point.”
“Thank you. And while we’re at it, I also love magic.”
“Like card tricks and the bunny in the hat business?”
“Yes… but no. Like real magical powers.”
“Oh. Oh. You mean like those books where the kid finds out he has magical powers and then can all of a sudden save the entire school, when no one else, not even those who have been practicing magic for fifty or more years can?”
Even in the pale moonlight, I could see her blush.
“Okay, it’s a little ridiculous, but it’s all justified. And fascinating. And, if I’m being completely honest, I’m a little jealous that I don’t have magical powers.”
See, I told you she loved those books. Or maybe it’s that she was jealous of the characters in those books? Either way, I’m still judging.
I rolled over onto my side. I was tired of looking at the stars. They didn’t compare to her.
“So, magical powers, yes… immortality, no?”
She hummed a little laugh before flipping on her side to face me. “If you could live forever, what would you do?”
“Great question.”
“I asked it. Of course it is.”
Oh dear God, every word that came out of her mouth drew me even closer to her.
“I think I would travel more… Or, you know what? I’d actually live in a bunch of different places for a long period of time. And I’d learn languages. A whole bunch of them. And I’d learn how to play the ukulele, just so I could be that weird guy who plays the ukulele.”
“You’re too tall to play the ukulele.”
“That’s what I’m saying. I’ll totally be that weird guy.”
“You, Theodore Vincent Stoneguard IV, want to be the weird guy?”
“It would be a fun change of pace. Plus, it would give me a bit of a challenge when it comes to getting girls. It’s getting too easy.”
I winked at her.
What? A wink? What the hell was wrong with me? It was going so well!
“Pig.”
“I deserved that.”
Okay, I saved it… kind of.
“So why don’t you do that now?”
“I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“Why not?”
I had never asked myself that question. Why hadn’t I traveled? Why hadn’t I learned another language? Why hadn’t I picked up a tiny guitar?
“I don’t know.”
“That’s my problem with immortality. I have these lists of things I want to do, places I want to go, things I want to accomplish, but I keep thinking life is long enough that I don’t have to do them today… or tomorrow, for that matter. Now, could you imagine knowing you were immortal? Would you ever get to that list? Or would you just keep pushing those things off because you know that you always have tomorrow? What stupid things would you waste your time doing instead? What stupid things am I wasting my time doing now?”
“You don’t seem like you’re wasting your time doing anything, Ashley.”
“But did my dad think that? He spent his whole life working at his career. And then his life was over. Did he ever get to his list?”
I didn’t say anything. I wanted her to know that I understood what she was saying, what she was thinking. I wanted to give her the time to process her thoughts.
But as I stared at her, I felt my insides melt. I wanted to hold her closer. I wanted to touch her, caress her; I wanted to love her. I closed my eyes and moved toward her, lightly planting my lips on hers. I didn’t kiss her, at least not the way most people think of a kiss. I was just trying to get as close as possible. I wanted to feel what it was like to have our mouths touching. Then, when the moment felt right, I pulled away.
“What was that?”
“I don’t really know.”
We both laughed: me, my quiet, deep laugh, and her, her half baby otter chuckle.
“How far down on your list is finding out more about your father’s death?”
“It’s the first thing.”
“So…”
“So…” She looked away quickly, deciding the level of honestly with which she was comfortable. When she looked back, I saw in her eyes that she trusted me. “I’m just too scared to start it.”
“You don’t seem scared of anything.”
“Everyone has fears.”
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Yes, I do.”
“If you could have any super power
, what would it be?”
“Oh, the age old question. You know, normally, I’d say flight, but right now, I just want to know what you’re thinking.”
“You could just ask me.”
“No, that’s scary.”
“And being able to read my mind outright wouldn’t be?”
“It’s different when you’re asking someone to be honest with you.”
“How about some wine?”
“So you can’t be honest with me sober?”
“Ha, I’m not sure if you can handle my honesty sober.”
“Okay, wine it is.”
It was one of those screw top bottles, which was perfect, because we didn’t have a corkscrew. We also didn’t have cups, so we sat up and took turns swigging sips from the bottle. Between gulps, we played that silly hand game where one person has their hands on the bottom, and the other on the top, and the bottom person has to try to slap the top person’s hand before they can pull away.
It was so stupid and so silly and so perfect.
“You know how they say that women are attracted to men…?”
“Before you continue, who are ‘they’?”
She jokingly scowled at me. “I don’t know. Psychiatrists, I guess.”
“Oh okay, them, keep going.”
“They say that women are attracted to men who they think would make good fathers, or at least would have traits they would like to see in their children.”
“I’m a little nervous about where this conversation is going.”
“Calm down, boy.” She touched my knee and I could feel her heat radiate throughout my entire body. “Why do you think women are so drawn to you?”
“Is this a jab? Or is it an actual question?”
“We’ve been sitting here for four hours, Teddy. Assume it’s not a jab.”
“Okay then… money, power, security.”
“Wow, okay.”
“What?”
“I don’t know… I expected you to say something about your looks, your body, your charm.”
“Do you want to say something about my looks, my body, or my charm?” I egged her on, prying for a compliment.
“I don’t need to boost your ego right now.”
“Later?”
“Maybe later.”
I grabbed her face and brought her in for a kiss. It was random, a complete surprise to both of us, but it just made sense.
“What was that for?”
“Assume I don’t know.”
“I’m not buying that.”
“Or assume that while I am honestly loving everything about this, and while I know I asked for this, my body is struggling to be so close to you without… you know.”
“What?” I saw her smile whip across her face.
“Oh, don’t make me say it.”
Her eyes widened with playfulness. “Teddy, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She knew. And because of that, I allowed myself my next move. I swooped over on top of her, pushing her to the ground while I rested my full weight on top of her. My one hand moved behind her head, while the other grabbed her hip. I lowered my face to hers, longing to feel the warmth of her breath.
“Do you know what I’m talking about now?” I growled.
“If I say ‘no’, will you show me?”
She was too good. I pushed my pelvis into hers, wanting her to feel what her teasing was doing to me. I wanted her to know that I knew words only went so far, and that I was not lying when I told her my body craved hers. She moaned at my pressure, which only made me push harder. I moved my mouth to her neck, sucking hard against her skin. Her moan opened to a small cry, which almost pushed me over the edge.
“You’re not making this easy for me.”
“I never promised to.”
I covered her words with my mouth, punishing her for her teases. I kept my tongue shallow, only giving her small tastes of my wanting. But I could tell she wanted more. Her hands moved to my back, and she began clawing at my shirt. She grabbed my tongue gently between her teeth, trying to draw me closer, but I held strong. I was not giving in so easy. With one last quick kiss, I drew back from her.
“What the hell was that?”
“Will power.”
“For who?”
“For us.”
She shook her head, stressfully chuckling at me.
“So why did you ask me why I think women are attracted to me?”
“Give me a second to calm down, since you so rudely attacked me.”
“Take all the time you need.” I smiled at her, but she just shook her head and fell back to the ground. “Oh, it’s like that?”
“Yes, it’s like that.”
I followed suit, but this time, I took her hand in mine. It felt warm, good, right.
“I’m afraid that there’s a possibility that the reason I’m attracted to you is solely practical. That everything you said, money, power, security, is something that I subconsciously crave, and therefore makes me find you attractive.”
Her admission hurt more than I’d like to admit. Sure, it made sense, and I could say it about anyone else, but I didn’t want to hear that from her. I saw her differently. I thought she saw me differently too. Or at least I hoped she did. But what did I expect? What had I proven to her? Nothing. To her, I was still a spoiled rich kid who didn’t deserve the life I had been born into. She had no reason to see me as anything differently.
But still, I had hope.
“Do you still feel that way?”
“I don’t know. I wish…” Her eyes wandered away.
“What do you wish, Ashley?”
“I wish you had no money. Then, I would know. Or at least I would have a better understanding. But right now, it’s all I can think about.”
I wanted to fight her revelation. I didn’t want to believe what she was saying.
“So pretend I have no money.”
“I can’t do that. It’s like telling me to forget a valuable piece of information. I just can’t do that.”
“You believe in magic and fantasy and freaking romantic comedies. How are you looking at this so practically?”
“Your guess is as good as mine, Teddy.”
I sat up, wanting to get away from her, and yet, not at all wanting to leave her.
“Or maybe I’m just trying to find some way to justify these feelings?”
I felt her hands on my shoulders, and then the overwhelming peace as she began to rub her thumbs into my muscles. Her hands skillfully moved down my back, hitting my rhomboids, my traps, my lats… until I was no longer upset. I no longer cared. Instead, I was happy she felt she could be so honest with me. It wasn’t something I encountered everyday… or ever, for that matter.
“Can we stay out here tonight?” She whispered in my ear.
I turned to her, meeting her eyes with mine. I didn’t care what she might think of her feelings. I knew what I was feeling, and it was something completely contrasting to practical. “Yes, please.”
We both lowered back to the blanket, wrapping our arms and legs around each other, until we could get no closer. We stared into each other’s eyes without speaking until we both fell asleep.
Even with the pang of her honesty, and the fact that we never got farther than that kiss, that was the best night of my life.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Teddy
I could see the headline begin to focus in front of me: Back to the Bad Boy by Ashley Leigh.
I remembered that morning well. It was Sunday, just two days since the beach party. I was sitting at the table eating breakfast, as I did every morning, when my father entered inquiring about my weekend festivities. I gave him a vague answer, but I should’ve known by his tone that he knew what I was hiding.
My father stood above me, his finger pointing to the line: The two were spotted in a “compromising position”. I simply looked up at him and smiled. What else could I have done?
“Whoops.”
> “Whoops? That’s what you’re going to say to me? The woman has been back in town for a mere forty-eight hours and she’s already caught you in a compromising position? This is not acceptable, Theodore.”
Oh good, he Theodore-ed me. I was certainly in for a verbal lashing right about…
“When I tell you to take care of something, I’m not speaking in code. I expect you, as a Stoneguard, to take care of it. Our business must remain private. We can’t have some childish, so-called ‘journalist’ preying on your every move. That’s not how I run things, and I won’t allow you to run things that way either. If you plan on one day taking over the business I have spent my entire life growing, you’ll learn to do things the way I do. So help me God, Teddy, if you don’t take care of this, I will. And this time it will be longer than a year and a half.”
“Got it, Dad.” I stood from the table, pushing my chair in behind me.
I needed to talk to Ashley, but she never gave me a way to contact her. Luckily, I knew where she worked.
But I also knew that if I went down to the newspaper, I would be bombarded. And I still didn’t know the name of her editor who so obviously still had a chip on her shoulder when it came to me. So instead of risking an attack, I sent her flowers, lilies, with a sweet little message.
Beach. Now.
I wanted her to know that I wasn’t messing around. She needed to know the gravity of the situation. She needed to know that if we were going to continue our little tryst, she would have to stop writing about me… or else.
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