by Peggy Webb
“You always do.”
“So do you... thank goodness.” Virginia smiled.
An answering ghost of a smile played around Candace’s lips. Besides intelligence and independence, Virginia counted on her humor and her love to help them over this misunderstanding.
“All right, Mother. I overreacted.” Candace sat in the middle of her bed cross legged. “One time making a fool of yourself in public doesn’t mean the end of the world. I can live with that. What I couldn’t live with is if you told me you’d fallen in love with him and planned to marry him.” She studied Virginia. “You aren’t going to tell me that, are you, Mother?”
Was she so transparent? Virginia had been so carried away by the way Bolton made her feel that she had forgotten how such an unconventional match would look to her own daughter... and to the rest of the world.
Virginia was not the kind of woman who did things halfway. Once she gave herself permission to begin a relationship with a man, she’d opened the floodgates and let all her emotions come pouring out.
Falling in love was one thing, though, and marriage quite another. It had never been a part of the picture for Virginia.
“Are you?” Candace repeated.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Candace. Yes, I’m in love with Bolton Gray Wolf....” Candace groaned. “But that’s all there is to it. I may be a fool, but I’m not that big of a fool.”
“Good. He’s only after your money, Mother.”
“That’s not true! I won’t have you talk that way about a man you hardly even know.”
“Do you know him, Mother?... Other than the obvious, of course.”
“Clearly you’re mature enough to have figured things out, and part of this misunderstanding is my fault for not being up front with you about my relationship with Bolton. But, Candace, I don’t owe you the details. As you pointed out you’re an adult; you’re old enough to know that my libido didn’t die the minute I got my first wrinkle. And neither will yours.”
“My libido’s never been tuned up, Mother, so I really wouldn’t know about things like that.”
“Well, thank goodness for that.”
For the first time since the fiasco at the Bullpen, they smiled at each other. With their mutual affection and their sense of humor, they could get through anything.
Candace got off the bed and hugged Virginia.
“I’m sorry, Mother. This took me by surprise, that’s all. Over the last twenty years I got used to having you all to myself, and I guess I never thought of having to share you. Does that make me selfish?”
“No, it makes you human.” Virginia held her daughter close. “You’ve nothing to worry about, Candace. This week has been a lovely interlude in my life, and I don’t regret a minute of it.”
“Not even that scene at the Bullpen.”
“Not even that. It proves we’re strong. We’re capable of showing honest emotion without letting our feelings damage our relationship.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Mother. You’re all I’ve got.”
All Candace had known of her father over the years was that he sent expensive gifts at Christmas. Sometimes when Virginia thought of the way Roger had ignored his own daughter, she wanted to fly out to California and smash a six hundred-page bestseller over his head.
It was bad enough that he left her; he didn’t have to leave his daughter as well.
“Don’t worry, Candace. You’re never going to lose me... no matter what.”
“Two against the world, Mother?”
“Two against the world.”
o0o
When Virginia had something important on her mind, she couldn’t sleep. If it happened to be a chapter in a book that needed fixing, or a character who needed shaping up, she could just get out of bed, go to her office down the hall, and turn on the computer. Sometimes the screen was still glowing at two o’clock in the morning, but that didn’t matter because she was the only person losing sleep.
She tossed and turned, wadding the sheets in a tangle around her legs. Disgusted, she got up and walked to the window. Was that a pinpoint of light she saw in the guest cottage? Would it be horribly rude to disturb Bolton at one o’clock in the morning?
She climbed back in bed, determined to wait until morning, but fifteen minutes later she knew she couldn’t. She’d never been a patient woman, and she despised loose ends.
She threw on her pink robe, grabbed her flashlight, and tiptoed down the stairs.
o0o
Bolton saw her coming.
He stood at the window watching, and he knew by the way she walked that she was geared for battle. One of the things he loved most about her was her stubborn independence. She challenged him in a way no woman had, in the same way his mother challenged his father.
Bolton smiled. He and his twin sister had heard the story of their parents’ courtship over and over, and neither of them ever tired of it. Jo Beth McGill had led Colter Gray Wolf on a merry chase... and still did from time to time. The thing that was so wonderful about their love was that it allowed for disagreements. He and Callie used to climb the tree behind their house and make bets on the outcome of their parents’ friendly wars.
Callie always sided with Jo Beth. “Mom’s sure to win this one. When she tosses her head and sticks out her chin, Dad had better watch out.”
“Yes, but you know Dad,” Bolton would say, sticking up for his father. “You can’t tell by his face whether he’s going to be a summer rain or a thunderstorm.”
Though Bolton had inherited his mother’s blue eyes and her love for photography, he was like his father in other ways, as unreadable and endurable as the mountains and generally as benign. But anybody who had ever tried to scale a mountain in the midst of a storm knew that mountains can be dangerous.
Bolton was still smiling when he opened the door. Virginia didn’t yet know him well enough to be warned.
“You need not be so pleased to see me,” she said. “The purpose of this visit is not unbridled sex.”
“Is that what you call it?”
“Among other things.”
“What other things?”
He guided her to the chair with a hand on the back of her neck. That small touch sent shivers all over Virginia, that and merely being in the same room with him. The cottage was small and cozy, the kind of place that invites intimacy. Bolton had lit the gas logs and pulled the two overstuffed chairs close. His notebook was open on the table beside one of the chairs, and his boots were under the table.
She glanced down at his feet. They were big and substantial, a tall man’s feet, with a light sprinkling of dark hair across the toes. Until she met him, she’d never known how sexy a man’s feet could be. The sight of them made her want to drop to her knees and take him in her mouth.
This wouldn’t do. It wouldn’t do at all. She shoved her hair back from her face and glared at him.
“Don’t try to sidetrack me,” she snapped.
“Would I do that?”
“Yes. You’d do anything it takes to have your way with me.”
“And what way is that, Virginia?” Laughing, he sat in the chair opposite her.
“See. You’re doing it again. It’s a deliberate ploy on your part.”
“You read me too well. I’m going to have to practice implacability.”
“If you get any more implacable, you’ll have to hand out maps and instruction books.” Though he was still laughing, his face told her nothing. It was his eyes that gave her pause. Such mysteries were hidden in them that she felt as if she were drowning.
“I don’t think I can trust you, Bolton Gray Wolf.”
“You delight me, Virginia.”
“Oh, hush up. This is hard enough as it is, without you looking like that.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t you ever look in the mirror? Your eyes alone are enough to make saints turn in their crowns. And that smile... don’t even get me started on your smile.”
“
I take it you like those things?”
“Yes... I like them.”
“That’s a great start. You like me and I like you. We’re going to have a wonderful marriage, Virginia.”
“See. There you go again.” She jumped up from her chair and stalked around the room. She was in such a fizz, she didn’t even notice that her belt had come loose and her robe was flapping open.
Bolton caught the edges of her robe and maneuvered her to the front of his chair. Then he held her there, robe parted, devouring her with his eyes.
She didn’t struggle against him. She’d never win in a contest of strength against a man the size of Bolton. Furthermore, she didn’t want to win. She wanted to stand exactly where she was, with her body and every one of her secrets exposed.
His eyes held hers, and she felt the quick, hot rush of desire.
“This is not fair,” she said.
“All’s fair in love and war.”
“Is this love or war?”
“Both, I think...” He thoroughly kissed her. “In that order,” he murmured.
She wouldn’t argue with that, couldn’t argue with that. If her easy acquiescence made her weak and selfish, she didn’t care. She had come to the cottage to end the affair. There was no future for the two of them, but they had the moment, and it was too precious to be thrown away.
“Love me... please... tonight I don’t want to think, I don’t want to talk.” She wove her fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. “Tonight, just love me.”
He eased her robe off her shoulders, and it pooled at their feet. Pulling her close, he tipped up her chin.
“You’re the most exciting woman I’ve ever known.” He ravished her with a kiss, and as he lowered her to the rug, he whispered, “It will always be this way with us, Virginia, love and war.”
“Shhh, don’t talk, not yet.” She pulled him fiercely to her.
They loved as if they’d waited a lifetime for each other, loved until their bodies were slick with sweat and glistened in the glow from the fire. They loved until the first faint fingers of dawn turned the windows soft shades of rose and gold.
Bolton wrapped Virginia’s robe around her shoulders and pulled her onto his lap.
Suddenly she was too full to speak. He rocked her, smoothing her damp hair and murmuring love words to her in Athabascan.
“I never did learn that language.”
“You will.”
She didn’t deny him yet. She wasn’t strong enough. She would close her eyes for a moment, gathering strength in a catnap, and then she’d tell him good-bye.
Bolton watched her sleep. He knew why she had come, knew it with a certainty that required no words. The interview was finished. Now there was only one reason to stay in Mississippi—Virginia.
He’d always been supremely confident that whatever he wanted, he could have, either by hard work or patience, or sometimes merely by the sheer force of his will. But he’d never met anyone like Virginia. For the first time in his life he couldn’t predict the outcome.
Her face was damp and dewy from their lovemaking and the glow of the fire. Tenderly he touched her cheek, then he licked her scent off the tips of his fingers. She stirred, smiling in her sleep and snuggling closer to him. He joined their hands, and her fingers automatically curled around his. Conscious, she might deny her feelings, but unconscious, she melted into him as naturally as the snows of spring melted into Mother Earth.
Suddenly he knew the outcome, he could predict the future. Virginia would be his no matter how long it took to win her.
She woke with a start.
“What time is it?”
“Just after dawn.”
“I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”
“I’ll escort you back if you want to go now. Candace is probably not awake yet.”
“It doesn’t matter. Candace knows.”
Virginia went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. She didn’t dare look in the mirror. Every night took its toll for the years would not be denied. They extracted their due no matter how much she paid for products with names such as line preventer and repair complex. Why didn’t the cosmetic companies just get realistic and call the night cream damage control?
Bolton was still sitting on the rug with the fire burnishing his light copper-colored skin. She leaned against the bathroom door and drank in the sight of him. Even after a marathon session of sex, she still wanted him, wanted him with such hungry desperation that she had to bite the inside of her lip.
“Would you like something to eat?” he asked. “I’ll make scrambled eggs and toast.”
“No, thank you. I want to suffer.”
Bolton stood up and propped his elbow on the fireplace, towering over her, gloriously naked.
“Would you please put on some clothes?”
“Do I distract you, Virginia?”
“You know you do.”
“You said you wanted to suffer.” His smile was without mirth.
“Not that much.”
They locked eyes, and she was the first to look away. “You could join me,” he said. “Slip your robe off, Virginia. I want to see you naked once more in the morning sun.”
“You don’t give up easily, do you?”
“I don’t give up at all. Did you think I would?”
NINE
She really hadn’t known what to expect. In spite of her vast experience with men in the fantasy world, she’d had very little in the real world. Roger had been her first man, and after he had left she’d been too busy raising Candace and carving out a career to develop another relationship, even if she’d wanted to. It took years to get the bitter taste of her first disastrous marriage out of her mouth, and when she thought she had recovered, good old Harry had led her down another boulevard of broken dreams.
“Scared, Virginia?”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
“Your face told me.”
She put her hands on her cheeks. “I’m not scared of you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“You have no reason to be afraid of me. Not now, not ever.”
“There you go again. Assuming a future for us.”
“It was no assumption. It’s fact. There is a future for us, Virginia.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Fate never makes mistakes.”
“I’ve met at least a dozen men who would have made my life a constant catastrophe. And I probably would have given my share of grief back to them. How do you know fate didn’t send them my way?”
“What did your heart tell you?”
She batted at the air as if she were swatting flies.
“I’d be in a pretty pickle if I’d listened to my heart. It was so broken when Roger left that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay there. But I didn’t.” She balled her hands into fists and thrust out her chin. “I don’t listen to my heart, Bolton. I listen to my head.”
Bolton wanted to pick her up and ride off on one of her white Arabians. His gut instinct told him that the only way he could ever make Virginia listen to her heart was to take her captive, to get her away from computers and cars and microwave ovens and all the other machines that cluttered up her life. He always went back to nature when he needed to understand the message of his heart.
If he had spent a few days in the mountains thinking, he’d never have bought Janice a ring. Fortunately, he’d corrected that mistake before it was too late.
Was it too late to keep Virginia from making a mistake that would cost them the future?
“Come with me, Virginia.”
“Where?”
“Back to Arizona, back to the mountains and the rivers and the forests, back to a place where man can understand the messages of the heart.”
Almost, his vision seduced her. Almost she could believe that what he said was true.
“It’s tempting.”
“Come, Virginia.”
Bolton held out his hand. One o
f her philosophies had always been take the risk and the angels come. Over and over she had taken giant leaps of faith. But she and Candace had been the only ones affected by her decisions. This time it was different. She couldn’t take a risk that had such sweeping consequences for a man who had the best part of his life ahead of him.
“You don’t know what you’re asking, Bolton.”
“I know exactly what I’m asking. I’m asking you to marry me.”
“Is that your head talking or your heart?”
“Both.” He stared at her with a fierce and tender regard that forbade challenge. “To deny your heart is a tragic mistake, Virginia. Don’t make a second one.”
She held her breath as he watched her. To speak now would be to deny Bolton the right to make his case.
Say something, she silently screamed at him. Say something to make me believe in us.
As if he had read her thoughts, he began to speak.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking I haven’t given this matter any thought. I take love and marriage very seriously. It doesn’t take forever to recognize the things you would bring to a marriage. Love. Passion. Laughter. Warmth. Intelligent conversation. Intellectual stimulation. Companionship.”
Virginia’s hope began to shrivel and die. What he’d said was not enough.
“What about children?” she whispered.
For a split second his face was naked, and she saw the thing that scared her most.
“You want children, don’t you, Bolton?”
“I’ll have a child—Candace.”
“I’m talking about a child with your genes, Bolton... a child you can watch grow, a child you can teach to fish and ride and speak in the beautiful language of your people. That’s the kind of child you want.”
More than anything she wanted a quick denial from Bolton. She wanted him to say that children didn’t matter, that she was enough for him. His silence was more painful than words. Virginia squeezed her hands so hard, the nails bit into her flesh.
All the other problems she’d named could be overcome, but this one was insurmountable. This one, alone, was enough to make a man as young and virile as Bolton turn tail and run from a woman her age.
Sometimes silence is a sword, slaying without words.
