by Donna Alward
It was only a partial lie. He did feel sorry for her. Sorry that she’d been hurt and sorry she was having to deal with things alone. He knew all too well how that felt. To know that everything rests on your shoulders. To know that any decision you make affects others forever. He’d wished for a helping hand so many times when he was younger, first when his mom had died and then when his dad fell sick with Alzheimer’s. He knew what it was to bear the weight of a family on his shoulders. In the past two days he’d questioned his sanity in letting Emily and Sam stay, but now that he knew a little more about their situation, he was glad.
And he was smart enough to know that if he told her such a thing she’d be furious. He was on good terms with their friend, Pride.
Meanwhile his body was tense just from being near her. He only wanted to help. Why then did just the soft scent of her, the sound of her voice, make his body tighten?
“If we keep on as we’ve started, I think we’ll get along just fine,” he said, thinking it sounded incredibly hokey, but he had to say something. She was a mother, for God’s sake. A mother with a ton of baggage she was carrying around. The fleeting impulse to kiss her was beyond crazy. That was definitely a complication he didn’t need.
“I think so, too,” she agreed.
They drew nearer the house, the walk coming to an end and with it their confidences in the dark. “Thank you for telling me about your situation,” he said. He looked up and thought he saw movement at the curtain of Sam’s room, but in the dark he couldn’t be sure. Was the boy watching them? Now that he knew more about it, he could understand Sam being mixed up and protective of his mother. Not that it excused bad behavior. There’d be no more sneaking out after bedtime.
“It was only fair. I’m a stranger, right? You agreed to this arrangement without knowing anything about me. You don’t need me to bring trouble to your door. No fear of that, anyway,” she said softly. “Rob doesn’t care enough to come after us.”
She tried to make it sound as though she didn’t care, but he knew she did. He wondered what kind of man didn’t love his kid enough to keep in touch, to know where they were? Luke didn’t want the added responsibility of children, but if he had them, he’d do a damn sight better job of parenting than that.
He wasn’t sure how a man could let his wife go either. Especially one like Emily.
“I’m sorry,” he offered, and meant it.
“Me, too.” She sighed in the moonlight. “One of these days you’ll have to tell me your story,” she suggested.
“Not likely,” he replied quickly. “Not much to tell.”
She laughed, and it seemed to lighten the evening. “Now why don’t I believe that? You’re pretty close-mouthed when it comes to your own saga.” She grinned, looking impish in the moonlight. “But you have been kind and generous, letting us both stay.”
“No one’s ever accused me of being either,” he replied, their steps slowing, scuffing along in the dirt of the driveway. “Most would say I’m practical.” He’d had to be, getting the girls the rest of the way to adulthood and making sure the farm could support them all. There hadn’t been time for what most twenty-year-olds had been doing—working hard, but playing harder. It made him think of the old Bible verses from Sunday school, about leaving childish things behind.
“Do you ever wish you’d finished your degree, Emily?”
She looked up at him, putting one hand on the wood railing of the steps. “When the money was dwindling, I confess I did. But sometimes you exchange old dreams for new ones. After five years, this is what I do best. I love being home with Sam. I loved looking after my house and cooking and doing all the special things I couldn’t do if I’d been working all day. I was very fortunate, you know?”
“And do you ever think of going back?”
She paused, her expression thoughtful. “Maybe. But not pharmacy. Something else. Something that uses my strengths. I guess I just don’t know what that is yet.”
For several seconds they stood there staring at each other. Luke’s gaze dropped to her lips and then back up to her eyes. Maybe it was the moonlight, or the way her hair curled around her collar, or the soft sound of her voice that reached inside of him and made him want. And what he wanted was to kiss her—for the second time in ten minutes.
Which was absolutely plumb crazy. There were a dozen solid reasons why he shouldn’t.
And he wouldn’t.
But he couldn’t help thinking about it just the same.
“Well, Mr. Evans, I believe we both have early starts in the morning.” She turned to go up the steps. “There is a lot more to be done around here. I think tomorrow I’ll examine your vegetable garden.”
Lord, she had a lot of pride. But Luke understood that. It made him want to lend his assistance. “I haven’t tended to the weeds in a while. The potatoes are sure to need hoeing.”
He took a step forward, and his gaze dropped to her full, lush lips. He was standing in the moonlight with a beautiful woman and all he could do was talk about gardens and chores. Had it been that long since he’d dated that he had lost all concept of conversation? The moment stretched out and he leaned forward, just a bit until the floral scent he now recognized as hers filled his nostrils.
He reached out and took her fingers in his hand and felt them tremble.
This was ridiculous. She’d just got through telling him about her disintegrated marriage and he was contemplating coming on to her? He straightened, took a step back.
“It’s been a long day,” she whispered, pulling her fingers away and tucking them into her pockets. He heard the nervous quaver in her voice and knew she understood exactly what direction his thoughts had taken.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
She went inside, closing the door quietly behind her, but for several minutes Luke sat on the porch, thinking.
How could a man just walk out on his family that way? Leave his responsibilities behind? A real man did what needed to be done. His dad had instilled that in him from the time he was younger than Sam. But just because Northcott had left his wife and kid didn’t mean they were suddenly Luke’s responsibility. For the last decade, he’d had the ranch to worry about, and his sisters until they’d made their way on their own. Now it was the ranch and his father’s failing health. It was more than enough. He didn’t need to take on any wounded strays.
He just had to remember to shut down any more thoughts of kissing her. Uncomplicated. That was exactly how this was going to stay. And after she was gone, he’d manage on his own once more.
Just like he always did.
CHAPTER FIVE
EMILY CALLED HER parents first thing after breakfast, once Luke was out of the house and she’d sent Sam upstairs to get dressed. She kept the call brief, merely letting them know of the change of situation and a number where they could contact her.
Then she hung up, feeling like a big fat coward. Her parents had no idea how tight things had become financially, and she didn’t want them to either. She knew her dad would insist on helping, something they could not afford now that he was retired. Maybe Luke was right. Maybe she did have too much pride. But there was satisfaction in knowing she was doing it herself. And refusing help also meant she was one-hundred-percent free to make her own choices. She liked that.
She liked being at the Evans ranch, too. She had a purpose, something that had seemed to be missing for too long. She hung out a load of laundry, smelling the lilacs on the air as she pinned the clothes on the line. Sam handed her the clothespins, his dark hair shining in the morning sunlight. “I like it here,” she said easily, taking another of Luke’s T-shirts and hanging it by the hem. “What about you, Sam?”
Sam shrugged. “It’s quiet. And I haven’t been able to see much.”
“Maybe this afternoon we can take a walk. Search out some wildflowers and birds’ nests.” Emily felt a catch in her heart, wishing for a moment that he had a brother or sister to keep him company. “I can ask around
about some day camps, too, if you like.”
“I like the horses,” Sam replied, handing her another clothespin. “Do you think I’ll be able to ride one?”
Emily frowned. Sam was five and a full-grown horse was so…huge. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “Luke has quarter horses, and he’s very busy.”
Sam looked disappointed. “Don’t worry,” she added, ruffling his hair. “Once we get settled it’ll all come around all right. Promise.”
Sam went off to color in an activity book while Emily fussed around the kitchen, taking a tray of chicken breasts out to thaw for supper. Their conversation had made her think. Keeping Sam busy might be harder than she’d thought. She’d have to think of ways to keep him entertained. She looked at the chicken and then around at the kitchen. Luke had thanked her for the meal last night but it was clear to her that he appreciated plain cooking. Why not keep Sam occupied today by baking? He loved helping her at home. An apple cake, perhaps. And cookies. Sam loved rolling cookies.
With the house tidied and the laundry under control, Emily liked the thought of spending the day in the kitchen, mixing ingredients. She hummed a little as she got out a mixing bowl and began setting out what she’d need. She imagined Luke coming in to rich spicy smells and the smile that would turn his lips up just a bit at the edges.
Her hand stilled on a bag of sugar. Why should it matter if he smiled at her or not? Her stomach did a flutter as she remembered the way his hands had squeezed her fingers last night. He was being nice, that was all. Maybe that was it. He didn’t come across as a typically nice person, so last night’s chat in the dark had thrown her off balance.
She knew the recipes by heart and when Sam came back downstairs, they began mixing, rolling and baking. The apple cake, with its topping of brown sugar and cinnamon was cooling on the stovetop and Sam took a fork and pressed on the peanut butter cookies in a crisscross pattern. She’d just sat Sam up to the table with a few warm cookies and a glass of milk when the screen door slammed. Emily pressed a hand to her belly, brushing the flour off the white-and-blue apron she’d found in a drawer. Luke was back already? And the kitchen was still a mess, with dirty dishes and flour dusting the counter surfaces!
“Luke, you here?”
The voice was male but it definitely wasn’t Luke’s. Emily bit down on her lip as Sam paused mid-drink and looked at her.
“Wait here,” she instructed Sam, and took a breath. Whoever was there was comfortable enough to come into the house without knocking.
“Hello?” She stepped through the swinging door of the kitchen and moved towards the foyer, where she could hear footsteps. “Can I help you?”
A tower of a man came around the corner. He topped Luke by a good three inches, and Luke had to be close to six feet. Instead of Luke’s uniform of jeans and T-shirts, this man wore dress trousers and a shirt and tie, and he carried a box cradled under one arm. Short-cropped walnut-brown hair and warm brown eyes assessed her. “You must be the new housekeeper,” he said, but he smiled, making the to-the-point introduction friendly rather than brusque. “I’m Joe. Luke’s brother-in-law.”
This was Cait’s husband, Emily remembered. The one who worked at the equipment dealership. “The new dad,” she replied, holding out her hand. “Congratulations. I’m Emily Northcott.”
His dark eyes were warm and friendly as he took her hand. “My wife is very glad you’re here at last. She was worried about her big brother managing everything.” He inclined his chin for a moment. “It smells good in here.”
She withdrew her hand from his, feeling unease center in her belly. When she’d met Luke and shaken his hand, there’d been a queer fluttering and the heat of his skin against hers. With Joe there was none of that. It shouldn’t have been different. Luke wasn’t any different. He was just a guy.
If that were true, why had she felt the curl of anticipation when the screen door had slammed?
Now his brother-in-law was here and she was feeling that she should play host. “There’s coffee and warm cookies, if you’d like some,” she invited.
“I wouldn’t say no.” He put the box on the floor by the door. “Cait in the hospital means cooking for myself right now. If you think Luke’s bad in the kitchen…I think I can burn water. Cait got her mother’s cooking skills, thank God.”
Joe followed her into the kitchen and stopped at the sight of Sam at the table. “Your son?” he asked.
“Yes, this is Sam. Sam, this is Mr. Evans’s brother-in-law, Joe.”
“You’re not a cowboy like Luke,” Sam stated, taking the last half of his cookie and dunking it in his milk. Crumbs floated on the top of the creamy surface.
Joe looked down at himself and back up. “No, I guess you’re right! I work at the tractor dealership in town.”
“I could tell by your clothes.”
Joe laughed while Emily resisted the compulsion to curb Sam’s matter-of-fact observations.
“Believe it or not, Sam, I’ve done a fair share of farm jobs. Not like Luke, of course.” Joe looked at Emily and winked. It was clear that Luke had already made a solid impression on her son. “But I’ve been known to lend a hand now and again.”
“Luke has a four-wheeler and a tractor and horses. I haven’t seen them yet, though. Not up close.”
Sam’s dark eyes were wide with honest disappointment. Emily hadn’t realized that Sam had noticed all those things in addition to the horses. She wondered if she could convince Luke to take him for a ride on the quad or tractor one of these days.
She handed Joe a mug of coffee and put the cream and sugar in front of him as he sat at the table. “Is your wife coming home from the hospital soon?” She offered him a cookie.
“Maybe this afternoon.”
“You must be excited.”
His eyes gleamed. “We are. We’ve been waiting a long time for Janna to arrive. Cait has been worried about Luke, though. The ad for the housekeeper didn’t get results and Cait is a mother hen. It’s one less thing for her to worry about. And then I won’t have to worry about her.”
It was clear to Emily by the way Joe spoke, from the gleam in his eyes, that he loved his wife very much. It was beautiful but caused a sad pang inside her. She’d thought she had that once. Had Rob ever looked at her that way? She’d thought so. Now she wondered if her radar had been flawed all along. She wasn’t sure she could ever trust her judgment again.
“Look what the cat dragged in.”
Luke stood in the doorway of the kitchen, his hat in his hands and a smile of pure pleasure on his face. “How’s the new father?”
“Anxious to get my family home.”
“Mom and baby?” Luke stepped inside the kitchen and Emily felt the disconcerting swoop again, the one that felt like riding the roller coaster at Calaway Park. Trouble.
“Home this afternoon, I hope. I brought your parts out that you asked for. Have a cookie, Luke. They’re mighty good. I get the feeling you lucked out with your housekeeper.”
“I could have come in and picked them up.” Luke angled Joe a telling look. “Unless Cait sent you out here to do a little recon.”
Joe didn’t even look away, just smiled crookedly at Luke. “I’m not in a position to say no to that woman at the moment,” he replied. “And even if I tried, she’d remind me about the twelve hours of labor she just had to endure.”
Luke took a cookie from the plate and met Emily’s eyes across the kitchen. It was as if an electric wire sizzled between them, and she held her breath. Last night he’d come close to kissing her. At the time she’d put it down to her own fanciful thinking in the moonlight, but she was sure of it now. With his blue gaze flashing at her, she knew she’d been right.
He bit into the cookie and a few crumbs fluttered to the floor. She watched, fascinated, as his lips closed around the sweet and his tongue snuck out to lick away the bits that clung to his bottom lip.
Oh, dear.
She suddenly realized that Joe was watching the
m with one eyebrow raised and she forced a smile, grabbing a dishcloth and starting to run some water into the sink. “I’m afraid the kitchen is quite a mess,” she said, knowing it was inane conversation but desperately needing to fill the gap of silence. “I’d better get started on these dishes.”
“And I’d better get back to town.” Joe stood up, brought his cup to the sink. “Nice to meet you, Emily.”
“You, too. Congratulations again.” She squeezed soap into the running water. She didn’t dare look at him. She’d blush, she just knew it. She’d been horribly transparent when she’d met Luke’s gaze.
“Thanks for bringing the parts out,” Luke said, grabbing another cookie. “I’m heading back out, but now I can get a start on them tonight.”
A start? Emily’s head swiveled around to look at him. Did he work from dawn until dusk every day?
“Oh, and I brought out some rhubarb,” Joe added. “Liz sent it. She said if you couldn’t use it now to freeze it. I’m betting Emily could work her magic on it though.”
“I can try,” she said softly, watching the two of them leave the kitchen and head to the front door.
It was all so normal. A family who cared and looked after each other. Even the idea that Joe had been sent to scope her out for the family didn’t really bother her. It was what families did, she supposed. When Luke needed a tractor part, his brother-in-law brought it. Cait worried about him and his other sister sent rhubarb. It was their way of showing they cared. The kind of big family she’d always wanted and had never had.
Sam hopped down from his chair and asked if he could go play in the yard. She let him go, not wanting him to see the telltale moisture gathering in her eyes. She was a good mother. She knew that. She loved Sam and had never regretted staying home with him. But who was there for her?
She scrubbed at the mixing bowl that had held the cake batter and sniffed. Suddenly she wished for an older sister or brother. Someone she might have called when her life was falling apart to reminisce with about childhood. Someone to share her hurt with—and someone to make her laugh again.
