I glanced at her incredulously. "How could things possibly get any worse?" I asked her harshly.
"Do you want to go back to jail?" she asked quietly, yet firmly, as she eyed me meaningfully.
My anger immediately evaporated at that sobering possibility, followed closely by panic. I shook my head jerkily. I turned to meet the officer's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm really stressed out right now."
His eyes softened a little. "I understand, sir. Don't worry about it." He motioned toward my phone on the coffee table. "Feel free to make your call."
"Thank you," I said gratefully. I picked up my phone as the other two officers announced that the house was clear, then they both walked into my bedroom. I felt ill at the thought of them going through my things, and I had to fight an urge to scream at them to get out. Instead, I found Gareth's contact info and called his number.
"What can I do for you Ford?" he answered after one ring in a calm authoritative voice.
"The police are here with a search warrant, Gareth," I blurted out. "They're...they're in my bedroom right now," I added in a small pathetic voice as tears threatened. I felt lost and out of control again. I hung my head so the police officers wouldn't see my weakness. "I need your help, Gareth."
"I'll be right there," he answered abruptly. "Sit tight." Then he was gone, but it reassured me somewhat. When things got serious Gareth became brusque, sometimes to the point that it could be construed as rudeness, but I took it for what it really was, his determined and focused intent to solve a problem. He didn't waste time or energy on pleasantries or explanations. He just got things done. I found it refreshing.
Then I immediately called Jenny, needing to hear her voice more than anything right now as I struggled to keep it together.
"Ford?" she asked in a worried voice.
"I need you, Jen," I whispered harshly, trying to pretend there weren't two strangers witnessing how pathetic I sounded right now. "Please come home. The...the police..." Damn it, I was falling apart. I covered my face with my free hand. Angel laid a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"They're at your place. I know, baby," she said. "I'm already on my way."
My profound relief was followed by confusion. "How...how did..."
"I was with Gareth when you called," she replied.
"What?" I asked as worry for her eclipsed everything else. "Why? Is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine. Don't worry about it. I'll explain later." Her voice was calm and soothing. It was just what I needed. "Try to stay calm until we get there. Alright?"
"Okay," I replied, nodding jerkily. "I love you, honey." My voice quavered.
"I love you too." I could hear her voice starting to break too. "And I'll be there soon."
I ended the call, and looked at Angel helplessly. She grabbed my hand and gave me a sympathetic expression. I held her hand in a death grip, determined to keep it together for a little longer. I just had to wait until Jen got here and these people to get out of my home, and then everything would be okay again.
Yeah, right.
**********
"The wording of this warrant is very clear and very specific," Gareth told the officer standing in front of him with a hard uncompromising stare. "This states you can conduct your search in my client's residence. It doesn't mention his place of business at all. Whether it's in the same building or not doesn't matter. I'm not letting you disrupt his business because you can't read a goddamn warrant." He thrust the paper at the officer, who looked really annoyed as he took it. Gareth didn't care. "You'll have to get a new warrant if you want to search downstairs." Before the officer could reply, Gareth turned his back on him, and strode across the living room to where Angel and I were still sitting on my sofa.
Gareth had marched in a few minutes ago, announcing that he was my lawyer and demanding to see the warrant. My relief at him taking control of the situation was profound.
"Jenny is outside," he told me in a gentle tone. "They won't let her come in until they're done."
"Alright," I said in resigned disappointment. I really needed to see her and touch her. I gave him a pained expression. "Will they be done soon?" I needed them to leave, so I could get my sanity back. Watching them moving around my apartment and going through my things while I sat helplessly watching them was killing me. It was violating and infuriating. It was all I could do not to scream at them to get the fuck out.
"I think so," he said with a nod.
Movement caught my eye, and an officer came out of my bedroom carrying several clear evidence bags. Jenny's blue ropes were inside them. I stiffened as I just barely kept myself from rising to my feet in indignation. Those were Jenny's, and they were special, sacred. I didn't want anyone else touching them, defiling them. Then I glanced up to see the officer looking at me in disgust. Holy hell, I was tired of being looked at like that. I was so tired of being judged and treated this way. Rage ignited inside me and I was just about to stand up, but Gareth's hand landed firmly on my shoulder stopping me from doing something stupid.
"It's just rope, Ford," he said quietly yet firmly. No one could hear him but Angel and me.
"But it's Jen's rope. It's ours," I whispered harshly.
"It can be replaced," he continued reasonably. "It's not worth sacrificing your freedom for, is it?"
I closed my eyes and deflated in utter defeat. "They keep looking at me like that, Gareth. Like I'm some deviant freak."
"I know," he crouched down in front of me. "Some people will never understand those of us who have an unorthodox sex life. They won't or can't understand. We have no control over that, but our reactions are ours. So don't let them get to you. Be the bigger man." He smirked evilly. "And then we'll shove the truth up their fucking asses when I prove your innocent." He sounded so confident, so sure. I wished I felt that way.
"We're done," one of the officers announced. Gareth immediately straightened and followed after them as they unceremoniously left with their evidence bags. I turned to Angel, who'd been quietly sitting next to me. Her eyes were soft and sympathetic.
"I'm so sorry this is happening to you," she said. "You don't deserve this. You're a good man." Tears started to spill from her eyes. She leaned forward and hugged me. I hugged her back feeling worn out and too emotionally wasted to speak.
"Ford!" I heard Jenny call out. I looked up to see her appear in the doorway into my apartment with Gareth right behind her. She flew across the room as I jumped to my feet and met her halfway. I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her flush against my body as I held her tight. I buried my face in her neck and breathed in her vanilla musk, letting it calm and soothe me. She latched her arms around my neck, holding on to me desperately.
"Jen," I whispered harshly. "I'm so happy you're here."
She pulled her head back and met my eyes. She looked worried and scared as she studied my face. "Are you okay, baby?"
I shook my head. "They...they took your blue rope, honey. I'm sorry."
"I know," she said with a sorrowful expression. She laid her palms on my cheeks. "I don't care about that. It can be replaced. All I care about right now is you."
"I...I can't take much more, Jen," I whispered so only she could hear me. "I just want this to end. I want my life back."
She pressed her lips together as tears welled in her eyes. "I know," she murmured softly. She wiped off the tear I didn't know I'd shed from my cheek with a thumb, then she hugged me again. We stood that way for a while before the sound of a phone chirping out a notification interrupted the moment.
I opened my eyes to see Gareth staring down at his phone intently. He nodded to himself once then glanced up at me. "That's my investigator. He wants to meet with me tomorrow. Hopefully, he has something I can work with, and I can get the case dismissed so we don't even have to go to court." He glanced at his watch. "Shit, I need to go." He looked at me apologetically. "I'm meeting with a client, but I'll get in touch with you after I meet with the investigator tomorrow. If you need anything
, feel free to call or text me any time."
"Thanks, Gareth," I told him sincerely.
He nodded in acknowledgment, before turning to leave and disappearing down the stairs.
"I'm going to head back down to the shop," Angel said as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around both Jen and me, since we were still holding each other. "I love you, guys," she whispered, then gave us a sympathetic smile before walking out and closing the door behind her.
I wrapped my arms tighter around Jen and held her to me desperately. She was my lifeline, my rock, the only thing in the middle of this nightmare my life had become that was right. I didn't want to let her go, and I couldn't help wondering how many more chances I had left to hold her.
"Why were you with Gareth today?" I asked to distract myself from that disturbing thought.
She leaned away and frowned up at me. "Two detectives showed up to question me." Her face turned apologetic. "I...I accidentally told them that...that you tie me up during sex, and that you've done it with other women." She averted her eyes shamefully. "I didn't mean to, but they pissed me off, and I was so angry that I blurted it out trying to defend you. I'm sorry, Ford."
I touched her chin to get her to look at me again. "It doesn't matter, honey. They would have figured it out anyway."
"I know, but I still feel bad." Her face was pained. "What if I say something else that makes things worse for you?" Tears appeared in her eyes. "What if I say something that gets you...gets you...sent to...to prison." She stuttered the words out like they pained her. She sobbed softly and buried her face against my chest. "I don't want to lose you."
"You'll never lose me, honey," I told her, trying to reassure her as much as myself. Besides, it was true either way. Even if I went to prison, I would always belong to her. She owned me, heart and soul. "I love you," I whispered into her soft and silky dark hair, nuzzling into it with my nose. After a few more moments, she finally pulled away from me.
"It's not so bad in here," she said as she looked around the room. "I thought it would be worse."
"They didn't spend much time in here," I explained. A lot of my things were moved around and disrupted in the living room, but it didn't look like they'd damaged anything. "They were mostly in the bedroom."
She walked across the room and stopped in my bedroom doorway and froze, her body going stiff. Her hand came up to cover her mouth. "Oh God," she breathed out in shock.
I strode across the room and jerked to a halt behind her. My room was in shambles. All the drawers of my dressers were pulled out with their contents spewed across the floor. My closet door was wide open, the clothes from inside spilling out of it. I saw my favorite gray Tom Ford suit wadded up on the floor, and it was obvious they walked on it repeatedly. I rushed forward and looked inside the closet. All my designer suits were in a pile on the floor along with my other clothes, and rage began to boil up inside me. I knew they were just clothes, and it wasn't even the fact that they were expensive, it was that they had no respect for anything of mine. I was nothing to them, just a lowlife criminal, not even a person anymore. I felt dehumanized and humiliated all over again.
I looked up at the empty shelf where I kept Jen's rope, and it set me over the edge. The rage ignited and there was only one person to blame for this. There was one person who was responsible for destroying my career and my life, one person who fucked with my Jenny, and one person I wanted to get my hands on and beat into a bloody stain on the fucking ground. Elliott Carter Bennett II. I snarled and stalked across the room, pushing a surprised looking Jen out of my way to get through the doorway. She followed me back into the living room.
"Ford!" she called out after me as I made a beeline for the door to the stairs, her voice in a panic. "Ford, stop! Where are you going?!"
I jerked to a halt with my hand on the doorknob, and looked at her. "If I'm going to prison, it's going to be for something I actually did," I snarled out through clenched teeth.
"What are you talking about?" she asked waveringly as she stopped several feet away, my anger frightening her, I think.
"Bennett," I growled as I clenched the doorknob. "I'm going to find him and beat him into the goddamn ground. I'll make him regret ever fucking with me, and what's mine." My body shook with murderous incoherent fury. "I'm going to shove his teeth down his goddamn throat until he fucking chokes on them. He'll wish he never fucking touched you." I turned and practically ripped the door off its hinges, then stormed down the steps ignoring her pleading voice begging me to stop. I didn't really have a plan, but I figured how hard would it be to find the Bennett Corporation building. I wasn't thinking any further beyond that.
I stepped into the garage and yanked my keys off the wall hook nearby. I was halfway to my truck when Jen's furious voice lashed out behind me. "Goddamn it, Ford Spencer! You stop right fucking now!"
I'd never heard Jen sound like that before. It was startling, and jerked me to a halt instantly. When I turned, Jen was striding across the garage with her sapphire eyes burning like fire as they bore into me. Holy hell, I thought I was angry. She was a force of nature, a fucking hurricane, a goddamn tidal wave. It was all I could do not to shrink away from her. Her fury was a storm that swept mine aside like it was nothing.
She stopped in front of me and thrust a hand palm up at me. "Give me your goddamn keys," she snarled out as she glared at me. "Right fucking now."
I instantly obeyed without hesitation, holding them out as she snatched them away from me.
"If I could kick your ass right now, I would," she said harshly. "What were you thinking? Were you just going to march into his office and assault him? How the fuck was that going to work? Did you think you'd get anywhere near him?" she sighed in exasperation. "He would have had you thrown in jail again. Is that what you want?"
I shook my head jerkily at the thought of being jailed again. "No," I blurted out in a panicked voice. "I...I just..." The rage was gone now, leaving me with shame at my own stupidity, and the never-ending fear I'd been living in for days. It was all too much. It was getting to me, unhinging me and pulling me apart. "I... I can't take it, Jen. I'm watching everything I care about being ripped away from me, and I'm helpless to stop it. I don't know what to do. I feel so powerless." My eyes burned.
Her eyes softened with sympathy and understanding. She raised her free hand and laid it on my cheek. "Then lean on me right now, baby." Her voice was warm and comforting. "Let's go back upstairs." I nodded and she took my hand, then me led me back up to my living room. I let her pull me along to the couch, and I sat down when she prompted me to. She glanced over at the abandoned sandwich I'd left there still uneaten. "Have you eaten anything today?"
I shook my head in reply.
She gave me a stern disapproving look as she picked it up and handed it to me. "Eat. I'm going to clean up your room."
"Yes, ma'am," I whispered gratefully as I managed a slight smile. She nodded once, then turned to walk toward my bedroom.
"Jen?" I called out softly just before she reached the doorway.
She looked back at me, her brows rising questioningly.
"Thank you, honey," I whispered in a tone hoarse with emotion. She'd saved me from myself, pulled me from the brink of self-destruction and chaos.
"You're welcome," she replied in a warm tone that spoke of love and affection before she disappeared into my room to right some more of the chaos in my life. Holy hell, I'd be lost without her right now, and I loved her even more for taking care of me.
**********
I sat in my living room waiting for Jen to clean up my bedroom, feeling at loose ends. It made me realize that idleness was my enemy. It led to dark thoughts and irrational fear that threatened to consume me. I'd already eaten my sandwich, and I'd turned on the television for a while in the hopes of distracting myself to no avail. I'd even tried fantasizing about what I'd like to do to Bennett for what he did to Jenny and me. It banished the fear, but stirred up dark ideas that I was better off not
entertaining. A premeditated assault was a bad idea, and would land me in jail again, and then prison for sure, no matter how badly I wanted to put a fist through his face. I finally took to pacing back and forth across the room. It wasn't going to calm me, but it was better than sitting there with tension thrumming through me with no outlet.
I knew what I really needed. I needed Jen's ropes. I needed to bind her to my will and work my tension out on her body, but that option had been taken from me when her rope was seized as evidence. I felt out of control and powerless, and it was slowly tearing me apart. Fuck, I needed to do something.
I stopped and stared toward my bedroom. I could hear Jen moving around as she put my room back together. I watched her walk past the doorway with a pile of clothes in her arms. Her luscious ass in that gray snake-skin pencil skirt she was wearing made my dick twitch. I fingered the belt I was wearing. I'd once told Jen that I didn't need rope to dominate her, and it was true. I'd done it many times with her scarves, my belt, or nothing but my voice. It was time to improvise again. I needed it, and I think she did too.
I walked toward my room with a singular purpose and focus that began to calm the chaos inside me. I stopped in the doorway to see Jen closing the bottom drawer of the dresser she'd just finished putting back together. She was bent over, her ass round and ripe, and just begging to be touched or spanked. My hands twitched in anticipation as a primal possessive lust rose up inside me in a rush. My cock grew thick and hard, pressing uncomfortably against the zipper of my jeans.
"Jen," I called out in a commanding authoritative tone.
She turned to me questioningly, her eyes widening for a brief moment before her body relaxed in immediate submission when she recognized my hard dominant expression. "Yes, sir?" she asked in a soft breathless voice, her eyes glittering with sudden desire. Oh yeah, she needed this too.
I started walking toward her with slow measured steps. "I think you need punished for taunting me with that hot as hell skirt," I rumbled out threateningly as I came closer, my gaze dropping to leer down at her exquisite body.
An Act of Redemption: Order & Chaos Book 3 Page 12
