by Shayla Black
Did Ike really believe that? Jess let her forehead drop against his chest. He was probably right. They should stay positive. But the fear and looming grief were nearly suffocating. “I feel so far away,” she said through more tears.
“I know. I wish we could go to the hospital, but some of the Seneka operatives got away, so the situation’s still red hot.” He settled back against the counter and pulled her to rest against him. He stroked her hair and caught the tears running down her cheek, and just held her as long as she needed him to.
For all the problems between them, there wasn’t another person she would’ve wanted to be with in this moment. Jeremy and Nick were both of their friends and coworkers. Ike knew exactly what she’d feel if either of the Rixey siblings didn’t pull through.
Heaving a shaking breath, Jess pulled away, though she stayed within the comforting ring of Ike’s arms. “Waiting for information is going to kill me.”
He handed her a paper towel from the roll behind him. “That’s the goddamned truth,” he said.
“Thanks.” Jess wiped at her face, but her stupid eyes wouldn’t stop leaking.
“Come with me,” Ike said. He took her hand, stopped at the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water, and then led her out the back door of the kitchen. A huge roofed porch ran the length of the building and overlooked a wide lawn, the rolling mountains, and the blue-green valley beyond.
Under any other circumstances, the view would’ve taken Jess’s breath. But she just couldn’t appreciate it, couldn’t see it, not when her friends were fighting for their lives.
Ike pulled two cushioned lounge chairs close together and guided her to one. He took the other, and despite all her fucking resolve, she hated the distance between them. She leaned as far as she could into his chair and rested her head against his arm.
Ike sat up, gently grabbed her, and pulled her into the chair with him. “C’mere,” he said, making room for her. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” Jess said, fitting her body in next to his so her drawn-up knee rested on his thighs and her head rested on his chest. “What do we do now?” she asked, suspecting the answer and hating it.
Ike sighed and pulled her in tighter against him. “Now we wait.”
Chapter 13
The waiting was killing her. The minutes clicked by so slowly that it seemed like time wasn’t moving at all. Jess lay in Ike’s arms as morning turned into afternoon, and afternoon made the late-day stretch toward evening. Sometimes he dozed off, but she never did. She just stared at the view and silently fought back the yawning pain inside her. How had her world fallen apart so quickly? Again.
Hang on, Jeremy. Don’t you fucking die on me! If miracles were possible, she willed him to hear her. To fight. To hold on to life and never let it go. Jeremy, with his dirty T-shirt collection and his flirtatiousness and his amazing art. She couldn’t lose him. She just couldn’t.
The thoughts beckoned more tears. Jess tried to stop them, but couldn’t. What was taking so long? Why hadn’t they heard anything else? It couldn’t be a good sign, could it? Her eyes burned, her face ached, her throat was dry and scratchy. The more she tried to hold herself still so she didn’t disturb Ike, the harder she shook.
“Aw, sweet Jess, don’t cry,” Ike said, his voice sounding like he was still half asleep. “I’ve got you. Everything will be okay.” His hand gently rubbed her back.
“You don’t know that,” she said through thick tears. “You can’t know.”
Fingers cupped her chin and lifted her face to meet Ike’s gaze. He stared at her a long moment, his thumb stroking her cheek and catching her tears. His eyes searched hers like he was looking for something. “I do.”
“How?” she said. She hoped he did know because she needed some shred of hope to cling to.
Finally, in a very quiet voice he said, “Because we’re together.”
Confusion lanced through her grief, followed quickly by a tendril of hope she wasn’t sure she should reach for. “Ike, what do you—”
His cell phone buzzed an incoming call. Jess gasped and her gaze clashed with Ike’s.
This was it. Moment of truth time. Jess was so scared to hear the news that she could barely stand being inside her own skin.
Ike pressed the phone to his ear. “Dare, what do you have for me?” Pause. “Okay.” Pause. “Okay.” Pause.
Jess. Was. Dying. Literally dying. She searched Ike’s face, hoping something in his expression would give her a clue as to whether the news was bad or good. But she just couldn’t tell. “What’s going on?” she whispered.
“Got it,” Ike said into the phone, grasping her hand and pressing it to his heart. “Keep me posted on that and stay vertical, will ya?” Ike dropped the phone in his lap and exhaled like he’d been holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Jeremy and Kat are out of surgery and the doctors are optimistic about them both.”
Jess blinked. It was like her brain couldn’t process the information. And then finally, finally, it sank in. “They’re going to be okay?” she rasped.
“That’s what it sounds like,” Ike said, rubbing a hand over his head. “Thank fuck.”
“Oh, my God,” Jess said, sagging against Ike’s chest. “Oh, my God. Thank you.” The tears started again and her shoulders shook. “I don’t…know why…I’m crying now.”
“It’s the adrenaline letdown,” Ike said. “The sheer relief of it.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done…”
Ike pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “And now you won’t have to. None of us will.”
The kiss resurrected her memory of what Ike had said before Dare called. That everything would be okay…because she and Ike were together. Jess forced a deep breath, and then another one, and finally managed to bottle up her tears. She pushed herself up so that she could see him. “What did you mean? Before…”
“Just what I said.” Ike slipped his fingers between hers and clasped her hand. “When we’re together, everything makes sense. And when we’re not...” He shook his head. “It’s like everything falls apart.”
Uh, okaaaay. She liked the general sound of those words but had absofreakinglutely no idea what they meant, especially on top of everything else he’d said and done the past few days. “I like being with you, too, Ike. We’ve been friends for years and you’re one of the most important people in my entire life. But—”
“That’s just it,” he said, frowning. “I don’t want to be friends anymore, Jess. I want to be everything to you.” He looked her square in the eyes. For the first time, she saw complete and total openness there. She saw fear. She saw pain. She saw sincerity. And it slayed her to get such a rare peek inside this man. Her heart tripped into a sprint. “I’m not sure that I deserve it. I’m not even sure that I’ll be any good at it. But if you’ll let me, I’d like to try.”
* * * *
Ike’s heart was about to beat the fuck out of his chest. From fear, from hope, from something else, something bigger, something completely overwhelming.
Love.
He loved this woman.
The clarity of his emotions had stolen over him in the quiet stillness of the night, and then they’d hit him like a tidal wave when he’d heard the news about Jeremy, Kat, and Nick. Once he recognized the emotion for what it was, Ike found it hard to understand how he hadn’t realized what the hell had been going on inside him all along.
As he watched her, studying her every reaction, Jess pressed a hand to her forehead. “I…I…” She shook her head. “Are you serious?” she whispered.
Aw, fuck. What an asshole he’d been that she felt she had to ask. Voices echoed out from the kitchen. “Will you take a walk with me?” he asked.
“Uh, okay,” she said, sounding confused.
He didn’t blame her. But he didn’t want an audience for this, either. He helped her stand up and took her hand, then he reached into the kitchen and grabbed a key ring off a hook. Ike g
uided Jess to a wide trail off the right side of the clubhouse. Within five minutes, they arrived at a row of six white cottages. Back in the heyday of the racetrack, they’d been additional accommodations people could rent out. Now, the club used them to house drivers during races, to help out a club member down on his luck, or to put up someone they were guarding or who otherwise needed their assistance.
Ike walked her to the third cottage and unlocked the door.
“What are these places?” Jess asked as she stepped inside. They were all the same—the main room had a bed and a tiny kitchenette with a small bathroom off to the side.
“The club uses them for different things, but I just wanted the privacy,” he said.
She looked around the room. “It’s surprisingly pretty.”
“All Bunny,” Ike said, following Jess’s gaze. “She remodeled them a few years back. Wanted to make them nice for the people we guard who need to stay here. Apparently this is country chic.”
Jess smiled. “It’s very un-biker-like.”
“Tell me about it.” He stepped up close to her and cupped her face in his hands. “But I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about us.”
“Us,” she said. “But what about everything you said? What about—”
Ike kissed her. “I was an asshole and a coward. And I’m really fucking sorry.” He searched her pretty brown eyes. “I never realized how closed off I kept myself until you almost got abducted and we spent this week together. Both of which shoved my feelings right in front of my face and forced me to examine them. I didn’t realize how much I’d been using the excuse of Lana’s death to avoid opening myself up to getting hurt again. I didn’t realize how much I was allowing those wounds to turn me into someone I don’t want to be. And then nearly losing Jeremy on top of it all.” He shook his head and swallowed the knot lodged in his throat. “Life can be lost in an instant. I’ve seen it, and I know you have, too. The idea that I could’ve lost you without you ever knowing…”
“Knowing what?” she whispered.
He took a leap of faith and hoped like hell that she leapt with him. “I love you, Jessica, and I want you in my life. I think I’ve wanted you since the day we met, and every day in between. I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve you and wouldn’t be good for you and that, once you knew about how I’d failed Lana, you wouldn’t want me anyway. And, Jesus, the fact that I’m in this MC is a whole other issue that I—”
Jess grasped the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss.
Was that a good sign? That had to be a good sign, right? Jesus, he was turning into a pathetic sap again. But it would be worth it if Jess wanted him the way he wanted her.
“Stop talking,” she whispered against his lips.
“Why?” he said, dread snaking into his gut.
“Because if you keep talking then I can’t tell you that I love you, too.”
Warm, healing relief speared through him, her love gently stitching up wounds he’d carried for so long. “Fuck, yes. I’m so damn glad,” he groaned, taking her in his arms and kissing her for everything he was worth. And while the heat was there, that wasn’t all he felt between them. There was something deeper, something closer, something that filled the cold, lonely places inside him. Someone knew all the worst things about him and loved him anyway. Nothing meant more than that. Nothing felt more redemptive than that. “You need to know,” he said, breaking the kiss. “I didn’t mean any of that bullshit I said the other night. Being with you meant everything to me. Means everything to me.”
“I know,” she said, fingers stroking over his face. “I didn’t mean what I said either. I’d dreamed of being with you so many times, but I never thought it would happen. I could’ve lived on those memories for the rest of my life if I had to.”
“Well, you don’t have to,” he said, claiming her mouth in another hot kiss. “Not ever.” He walked her back one step, then another, until her legs came up against the bed. “I want you, Jess. And I fucking need you so much. Right now.”
* * * *
Jess couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t believe that her world had gone from nearly imploding to giving her everything she’d ever wanted—all in the space of the same day. “I want you, too,” she said. “And I love you so much.”
“God, Jess,” he rasped as he kissed her neck and slowly peeled off her clothing.
When she sat naked on the edge of the bed, Ike stood in front of her and tugged his shirt over his head. He kicked off his boots and stripped off his jeans. She drank him in with her eyes. His incredible height. The cut of his muscles. The huge black tribal on his arm, a red rose with petals that wilted and turned black on the side of his ribs, and so many other pieces she wanted to explore and ask him about, one by one.
The cock jutting out from his body.
Jess licked her lips. “Come here.” When he stepped within reach, she grasped his hips and sank to her knees, her back against the bottom of the bed.
“Jess,” he whispered, stroking his hand over her braided hair.
She bathed the length of his cock with her tongue and then sucked him in deep.
“Fuck,” he rasped, dark eyes blazing down at her.
God, he was a thrilling mouthful. Heavy on her tongue. Thick in her mouth. Head meeting the back of her throat. Just the way she liked it.
She settled into a rhythm, swallowing as much of him as she could take, then pushing just a little further, and then sucking him hard on a fast withdraw. His groans and cursed words of praise were the sweetest fucking reward and turned her on so much that she reached a hand between her legs.
“Yeah, play with that pussy,” Ike said. “Does sucking my cock make you wet?”
“Mmhmm,” she moaned as her fingers circled her clit.
“Jesus, that’s hot, Jess.” A big hand curled around the back of her head. “So hot,” he whispered. “I want to fuck your mouth so bad.”
He took control of the movements, the strokes of his hips driving his cock deep into her mouth. His hand on her head giving him leverage, allowing him to move her how he wanted. She freaking loved it.
On a groan, Ike popped free of her lips. He lifted her from the floor like she weighed nothing and pushed her back on the bed. Like a predator stalking his prey, he crawled up the bed until he covered her, his hips settling between her spread thighs. “I wanna see you this time,” he said. He took his cock in hand and smacked the head against her clit, and then he was sinking in, filling her, making her his.
Jess didn’t really understand what he meant by the words until he started fucking her. But as he stared into her eyes and studied her face, and peered down between their bodies to watch himself moving inside her, she realized that between having sex in the dark that first night, and Ike taking her from behind the night before, she’d never actually seen his face during sex. And, holy crap, the way this man wore pleasure was so fucking sexy. He kissed her again and again, spilling words of encouragement and ecstasy into the space between their mouths. Though they’d kissed before, they hadn’t done it while having sex, either time. And Ike had a particular skill at mimicking with his tongue what he was doing with his cock. God, he was a good freaking kisser.
He pulled back and met her gaze, and his eyes were absolutely on fire. “Love you so fucking much,” he said, hips picking up speed, gaining urgency. He grabbed one of her knees and pushed it up, allowing him to sink deeper.
“I love you, too,” she said.
He gripped her thigh hard. His hips ground and snapped against her pussy. His kisses became more aggressive, sucking, biting, tugging her lips. His other hand slid into her hair, pulling and guiding her head how he wanted it. But in addition to this roughness she craved, there was an intimacy about this act Jess had never before experienced. Staring into the eyes of her lover and whispering the depths of her emotions weren’t things she’d ever done before. And it made the sex so much more than she ever knew it could be.
Healing. Bonding. Absolutely life-giving.
And it was all because of Ike.
“Oh, my God, Ike. So good,” she rasped.
“Tell me what you need,” he said, shifting to grind more delicious friction against her clit.
Jess moaned. “You. Just you.”
“Fuck. That’s right. Sounds so good.” He gripped her harder and moved faster, his hips drilling his cock into her until she was gasping, moaning, coming so hard she could barely breathe. “Yes, yes,” he grunted, and then he was coming too. Shooting inside her with the most fascinatingly erotic expression on his face—eyes closed, mouth open, forehead furrowed like he was almost in pain. Jesus, her man was hot.
When their bodies finally settled, Ike kissed her again. He was still deep inside her, and Jess wasn’t in any hurry for him to leave. Not ever.
“I don’t know what the future holds, Jess. But I know that right here is where I’m supposed to be. With you.” He looked at her with such adoration on his face.
Jess hooked her ankles around his back, feeling the truth of his sentiment deep inside her. “That’s all you gotta know, Ike. We’ll work the rest out together.” Ike nodded and kissed her, and despite all the uncertainty that still existed in their lives, Jess knew that she had a man and a love to hold onto for the rest of her life. And Ike was right. That was everything.
* * * *
Also from 1001 Dark Nights and Laura Kaye, discover Hard to Serve.
About Laura Kaye
Laura is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over twenty books in contemporary and paranormal romance and romantic suspense. Laura’s Hard Ink series has won many awards, including the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award for Best Romance Suspense of 2014 for Hard As You Can. Her upcoming Raven Riders series debuts in April 2016. Growing up, Laura’s large extended family believed in the supernatural, and family lore involving angels, ghosts, and evil-eye curses cemented in Laura a life-long fascination with storytelling and all things paranormal. She lives in Maryland with her husband, two daughters, and cute-but-bad dog, and appreciates her view of the Chesapeake Bay every day. Learn more at www.LauraKayeAuthor.com.