Though given her reactions thus far, I was beginning to fear she would prefer the poor stripper. She didn't seem at all relieved to learn the real reason I’d been so closed off to her. I found that worrisome.
"So you came here as, like, a vacation?" Ally asked finally.
"You don't understand, Ally. I'd never had even a single day off from being a prince before. My whole life had been about duty to my family and my country, and never about duty to myself. I had no interest in getting married or having children, it was only through the lies of Sonia that made me even consider those things. I didn’t even care about being king. I was fine to leave that responsibility to my brothers. But now with my father ill, things have been more complicated..."
I sighed heavily and then continued. "I know I’ve been here for almost a year, but I was supposed to have more time… I believed that my father was going to continue to remain healthy and strong for years, and by then at least one of my younger brothers would have matured enough to assume the throne. But apparently that isn’t the case. They need me back home, if the worst happens. They need me to become king. "
I let this all settle with Ally. She was quiet for a long time, as if running through a laundry list of thoughts in her head before she felt comfortable responding. I was happy to give her that time. I was just happy to be seeing her again at all. And I was relieved to finally be able to open up to her.
Finally, she rose onto shaky limbs.
"Matthias," Ally whispered. "I would like you to leave."
I opened my mouth to speak, although in truth I was so shocked that I didn’t know what I was going to say.
"Please."
There was a firm resolve in her tone that told me I wouldn't be able to talk myself out of this one, even if I had any idea how to start. I had to leave.
“What was that about?” Veronika asked on the elevator ride back to the lobby. “I thought she would be jumping for joy. What girl is upset to date a prince?”
I shook my head in bewilderment. It wasn’t that I expected Ally to jump for joy, but I at least thought she would be relieved to hear the truth and give us a chance to talk things through.
Somehow, though, the truth had only made things worse.
32
Ally
Candace came home from work just as I was finishing cleaning out the oven.
"Don't do it! You've got so much to live for!"
I rolled my eyes and pulled my head out of the appliance, fixing Candace with a flat look.
She trundled past me to the living room, dropping off her purse, shoes, and articles of clothes as she went. By the time I joined her on the couch, she was wearing only a tank top and her jeans, with the rest of her outfit lying somewhere in the in-between.
"Long day?" I asked.
She nodded. "Very long. I'm glad to be home, though."
"I've got something I need to talk to you about."
Candace sat up straighter. She'd been preparing herself for me to break since we went to the doctor. I hadn’t told her anything about the pregnancy, just that the doctor said it was just a virus that would pass. But I knew she could tell something had been weighing on me.
At first it was because I didn’t believe it, but a pharmacy pregnancy test that I did the next day confirmed it. Not that those would be any more accurate than a doctor… but I just needed the second opinion. Even after that, though, I still wasn’t ready to tell Candace about it.
"Everything okay? Did you finally talk to Matt?"
I took a deep breath. "I did, yeah. You know how he's from that little island, Caspierre?"
Candace nodded emphatically. "It sounds like a great vacation getaway, just sayin'." She winked. "Or a destination wedding."
She must have misjudged the atmosphere in the apartment and thought that my news was going to be good. Then again, I had a feeling she’d still feel that way after she heard it.
"Well, turns out Caspierre still has a royal family."
"Cool!" Her eyes lit up. "What does that have to do with your boyfriend?"
"Erm, everything, actually." I winced. "Because he's the prince."
Candace's expression morphed from surprise, to shock, to overjoyed enthusiasm in less time than it took to say the words.
"That's incredible!" She sprung from the couch, pumping her fists in the air. "So that's what he was keeping from you? I mean, that's the best possible scenario, right?" When she finally noticed me still sitting there, she frowned and dropped her hands. "Ally? Why aren't you celebrating? Are you broken?"
I wished I could feel like Candace did. I wished that all my worries had been erased when Matthias explained himself to me. But they had only deepened.
I patted the spot next to me. "There's a bit more. Sit down for a sec."
She did as instructed, waiting patiently for me to explain.
"He also told me why he left for America. And why he's been living in secret."
Candace pressed her lips together. "I hadn't thought about that. It is an odd thing to do." As an afterthought, she added, "Are you sure that he is who, or what, he says he is?"
I nodded. "I'm convinced. Once I knew to look, I found enough proof on the Internet."
"So why did he come here? "
"He claims it was to escape the burden of his station, essentially. He was under constant pressure at home to marry and have kids so that he could be a good king. It was too much for him, because he didn’t want any of that. So he fled."
"I guess that would probably send me running for cover, too," my roommate considered.
Am I the only one who still wants a normal life?
"So… when are you going to visit Caspierre?" Candace's expression began to heat with excitement again. "Can you bring a friend? Does this mean that Matt has actually been rich this entire time?"
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. "I'm not going to visit Caspierre."
"Why the hell not? Sounds like you would have a fabulous place to stay."
"Because I'm not going to continue seeing Matthias."
A hush filled the room. If it weren't for the traffic noise coming from outside, I'd have thought I’d gone deaf. Candace's face dropped from excitement to confusion so quickly it was like all the muscles in her face gave up at once.
It took her a moment to recover. "I don't get it. What's the problem here?" She narrowed her eyes and studied me. "Did he do something to you?"
I shook my head quickly. "No, no. Nothing like that. I just... I don't know. We just want different things."
Matthias had run away from his home and the lavish lifestyle of being a prince because he didn't want to get trapped into the boring and routine life of marriage and raising a family. With a baby on the way, I would only be bringing back all of that pressure. It wouldn't be fair at all. It was pretty clear that this wasn’t what he wanted.
"But surely you're not still mad at him?" Candace asked. "I mean, he's got a pretty good reason for skirting around the truth. You were worried he was frivolous with money, well honey, that ain’t no issue, no more." When I didn’t smile back, she continued on. “And you were worried that he had no aspirations beyond being a stripper… honey, the man is going to be the king of an entire island! How much higher can he climb? I mean, hell, I think that fact should buy him a little understanding and forgiveness for wanting to just kick back while he was here in America and enjoy the freedom of having no responsibilities for a while!”
She was right about all of that, and I wasn’t even mad at him anymore. Everything made more sense now. The aloofness. The secrecy. Even the mysterious blond—who I may or may not have verified during my research was actually a member of their elite royal guard. Finally, a country that respected the ferocity of women!
But none of that changed the other hard fact that I’d learned.
Matthias didn't want a family.
He didn't want to get married, and when he found out that I was carrying his child, he
probably wouldn’t even want me. Or worse, he’d feel compelled, trapped, into marrying me and trying to make things work while all the while resenting me for it.
Besides, even if he wanted to, he probably wouldn’t even be allowed to marry me. I would likely be some big scandal in his country. He probably needed to take a wife from Caspierre.
If that was the case, then I would always just be a source of guilt to him. At best, shuffled off to some small island apartment, where each month he’d send me a small allowance to live off of, but would never publicly acknowledge our child as his own.
Maybe I was over-reacting just a little, especially given how little I knew about how royal families worked in the modern age.
Candace didn't know about the baby, and my silence hadn’t done anything to convince her that I was making the right choice. "I don’t understand you at all, Ally. What are you afraid of here? That he won’t want you? Hasn’t he made it clear by now that he does? Do you think him being a prince will change his feelings for you?”
I looked away. "No.” I don’t doubt that he wants me, now. I just doubt that he’ll still want me after I tell him that I’m pregnant. But I wasn’t willing to get into any of that with her, so I had to say something else. “But things change, and this is just a big complication that I don’t need in my life right now.”
It was a flimsy excuse and obviously not enough to satisfy Candace. I knew that she would go on lecturing me about the stupidity of my decision for longer than I had interest in listening. I also knew that I would eventually break and tell her about the baby, and then she'd probably run off and rat me out to Matthias. She'd done it before, that first night at the party, when she’d told him how to find me. I loved her dearly, but I didn't trust her not to take matters into her own hands.
"I need to get away for a while," I said. "I've got to process all of this, and I need to be alone while I do it."
"The last thing you need right now is to be alone,” she argued.
I stood and smiled at her. "Please tell Matthias, if he comes by again, to just leave me alone. And that I don’t want him to try and follow me."
Without another word, I grabbed the suitcase that I'd stowed in the closet and stepped out into the hallway. I knew Candace would be too stunned by my announcement to try to stop me before it was too late.
And I knew that if I didn't leave now, she would talk me out of it. And then it would be too late. Not just for me, but Matthias as well.
I drove all night.
I'd never driven all night before, and it had always seemed a romantic and dreamy thing to do.
It wasn't. At least not when you’re alone, pregnant and still slightly nauseous.
By the time I reached Oregon, my back hurt, my shoulders ached, and my eyes felt like sandbags. I just wanted to sleep.
Thankfully, the drive up had given me all the time in the world to ugly cry without an audience. I had taken full advantage of the opportunity, which was probably why my mother dropped her tea towel the second I walked through the door.
"You look atrocious!" she declared, pulling me into a tight hug. "Did something happen on the drive? Sit down, I've got some kombucha in the fridge that I just finished brewing last night."
My parents hadn't questioned my reason for wanting to come home for a visit. They didn't even ask me how long I wanted to stay. As soon as I called and asked if I could come home, my mom simply told me she would have a bed ready when I got here.
After she poured me a glass of fermented tea, she sat down across from me at the kitchen table and rested her chin on her fist.
I stared into the cloudy liquid. Disgusting, but my parents swore by it and I could use all the help I could get.
"So what happened sweetie? Or do you want to wait for your father to get in from feeding the kids?"
Tears pricked at my eyelids again. This time it wasn't from thinking about Matthias. I'd missed my parents so much. I missed being somewhere I felt like I belonged.
Even if I couldn't happily stay in a place like this forever, being surrounded by people who loved me was the greatest thing in the world. Living with Candace was awesome, and I loved California, but this little farm, where they called their goats “kids” and lived such a simple life, was home.
"Just a breakup," I told her.
I would have to tell her about the pregnancy sooner or later. Just not today.
"Well, we've got just the thing for that. Your father's been trying out a couple new strains in the garden, and they're very mellowing."
I nearly choked on my kombucha. "You guys are growing pot now?"
She had a twinkle in her eye. "Just a little for us. And for Mabel and Janice down the road. Their cows produce the creamiest butter you've ever tasted, and you wouldn't believe how much their artisanal cheeses go for at the farmer's market."
"So you're a drug dealer," I deadpanned. "And you're selling your drugs for butter and cheese?"
She clicked her tongue. "We're not drug dealers. We're merely drug traders. And it's working quite well for us so far, thank you very much. Anyway, it’s perfectly legal now in Oregon."
“For personal use, maybe, not to sell.”
“Like I said, we’re not selling it. We’re simply sharing it, just as they share their cream and cheese with us. It’s call being neighborly,” she sniffed. “Perhaps that concept is more foreign to you after living in the big city for so long.”
I let out a snort of laughter that quickly developed into a full-blown laughing fit. My mother just sat there, watching.
Dad came in a couple minutes later, a poor boy cap slung low over his brow. "If it isn't my favorite librarian," he chortled. "Come give me a hug!"
I didn't hesitate, even though he was covered in all manner of dirt and grime. He always was.
Dad always smelled of dirt, goats, and hay. It was comforting to me that that hadn’t changed.
"Glad you're here, kiddo." Dad smacked me on the back.
Despite the circumstances that had sent me running home, I was glad to be there too.
33
Matthias
After my big reveal and subsequent ejection from Ally’s apartment, I opted to give her some time before trying to speak to her again. I waited too long. When I tried to call her the next day, she had turned off her phone. Or maybe she was blocking my calls. Either way, it seemed the only way to talk to her was to go over to her apartment.
But when I got there, she was gone.
“I really don’t know what’s gotten into her,” Candace said, welcoming me inside. “Would you like some tea? A sandwich? I could bake some cookies?”
“Did you absolutely rule out food poisoning as the cause of Ally’s sickness?”
Candance’s face turned slightly pink and Veronika grinned.
It was clear Ally had told Candace about who I was, but I knew she wouldn’t have done that if her friend was a threat.
Candace quickly changed the subject. “I can tell that Ally really likes you. I’m not sure what’s going through her head.”
“Tell me where she went and I can find out myself.”
The woman shrugged. “Wish I could, but she didn’t even tell me.” Then she grinned. “Which I suppose is understandable.”
I sighed, closing my eyes in frustration. How the hell was I supposed to find Ally now? I couldn’t let her slip through my fingers. Not like this.
“Do you mind if I look around? Maybe she left some clue as to where she went?”
Candace’s face brightened. “Sure, good idea. Sherlock Holmes it up in here!”
Veronika and I poked around in the living room and bathroom quickly, with Candace hovering over us until Veronika gave her a glare that sent her scurrying away. After that she directed us to Ally’s bedroom with a flourish, although this time remaining in the living room so as not to risk another look from Veronika.
I found it amusing that my reveal hadn't bothered Ally in the slightest, but Candace seemed completely thrown an
d out of sorts by the whole thing.
Just as I was about to give up, something caught my eye. Normally I wasn't the type to go through garbage cans, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
"Veronika, come look at this."
She stepped closer and I pointed to the trash can. "Does that look like a pregnancy test to you."
She peered closer, then grabbed some toilet paper and picked up the little plastic stick. We crowded around it, neither one of us believing what we were seeing.
"Two pink lines," Veronika mused, her head nodding in thought. She looked up at me. "According to the commercials I have seen, that means Pregnant."
"What did you guys find?" Candace’s curiosity must have gotten over her fear of Veronika as she entered Ally’s bedroom and approached us.
"Is this yours?" I asked, though I was already sure I knew the answer.
Candace's eyes bulged from her head. "Oh my god. No, that's not mine."
I pushed past them and returned to the more spacious living room, a thousand thoughts swirling through my head.
Ally was pregnant. With my child. And that was why she didn't want to see me anymore. How could I have been such a fool?
"I can't tell if you're excited by this or not." I looked up to see that Candace and Veronika had joined me. They stood side by side in the entryway, watching me with expressions that suggested they were about to watch a bomb explode.
"I'm angry at myself," I replied.
"For getting her pregnant?" Candace asked.
I wrinkled my brow. "No! Of course not." Why couldn't I have just told her I wanted to leave home because I sought adventure? Why had I told her about Sonia?
I rubbed my face in my hands. "When I told Ally who I was, I explained that the reason I'd left was because I didn't want to be forced into a life of marriage and children just for the sake of the throne."
Candace gritted her teeth. "Yikes."
Veronika nodded in grim agreement.
I shot both a withering glance. "Not helpful. I need to find her. Now more than ever."
Royal Stripper Page 17
