“It’s your body, not mine,” she said, as if reverse psychology was really going to work when all I was eating for the next seven nights were twigs and nuts.
Thankfully, any potential argument was stopped there as her attention momentarily settled on her ringing phone, for its deafening blare was awfully demanding.
“It’s Luke,” she announced, worrying me. “Hey, Anderson! How’s the head?” she answered, chirpy in her enquiry.
I decided to busy myself by reading the nutrition guidelines on the pack of cashews we had situated in our trolley and became fiercely intrigued by the amount of saturated fats one packet held.
“Yeah, she’s with me. We’re in Asda.”
Crap!
“Okay. He wants to speak to you,” she claimed, handing over her phone.
“What? Why?” I asked, nervously so.
“I dunno, ask him.”
I reluctantly took the device from her outstretched hand and turned my back on her, preparing myself for the potential backlash I was no doubt about to receive.
“Hello.”
“Hey, runaway. I got your jacket from the cloakroom.”
Oh.
“Thanks.”
Silence.
“So what gives, Maya? Why’d ya bail?”
He was unable to hide the hurt from his voice and I felt nothing short of awful for being the main reason behind it.
“Well, I was kind of hoping you’d somehow contracted amnesia and that you’d forget all about me staying the night,” I explained, wandering off down the crisp aisle.
“I don’t think you can contract amnesia. You just get it,” he replied, selective hearing certainly kicking in.
“Hmm. You remember everything then?”
“As clear as day,” he admitted. “You?”
“Yeah.”
“Well then, where does that leave us?”
I pondered over his question for a few short seconds and found myself coming up short as I made my way towards the bakery section. I needed sugar!
“Not a clue,” I responded, picking up a Cherry Bakewell. “Do you want a vanilla slice?”
“Please,” he replied, appreciative as ever. “Can I put out a suggestion?” he then asked, thankfully taking charge of the situation.
“Feel free.”
There was shuffling on the other end and I just about made out the distant sounds of other people nearby.
“If I come and see you, do you promise not to panic and run away again?” he questioned, justifiable in asking.
“Yeah, I promise.”
It was about time I put on my big girl pants and dealt with the situation the mature way.
“Good, because I’m standing right behind you,” he revealed; voice shaking slightly.
I instantly snapped my head around and almost dropped our sugary treats on the floor at the sheer force in which I did so. He was stood in the middle of the bread aisle; phone in one hand and my denim jacket in the other. He looked extremely exhausted and visibly glum, though showed signs of hopefulness.
“You know what they say; sleep with your best friend and talk it out in the middle of the bread aisle,” I laughed, balancing the cakes in my left hand.
Thank God he smiled.
“I’d have much preferred to have done it in the privacy of my home, but the woman I slept with last night fled before I was even awake,” he retaliated, all in good fun. “And now she’s ignoring my calls.”
“What a bitch,” I responded, staying firmly in place and carrying on with our conversation by remaining ten meters away; speaking through the phone. “I bet she feels guilty for running out on you now.”
“Do you think she regrets it?” he asked, seemingly taking to the idea of discussing things in third person.
It made things less personal.
“I don’t think she regrets it. I think she’s scared.” I admitted, feeling suddenly emotional.
“Would she appreciate a cuddle?” he questioned, sensing my unease.
“Yes, please,” I whispered, letting go my tears.
He strode towards me and within seconds we were embraced in each other’s arms; his broad frame acting as my support as he all but shoved words of encouragement down my ear.
“Don’t be scared, sweetheart. This isn’t a bad thing, I promise.” he sighed, landing quick kisses to my head.
I became vaguely aware that we were in very public surroundings and proceeded to pull myself together, not wanting to seem pathetic in my need to sob.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left this morning,” I apologised, wiping my runny nose on the back of my sleeve. “I’ve never had a one night stand before. I assumed that was appropriate behaviour.”
“But you’re not just a one night stand. You’re Maya. My Maya and I never want you to feel like you’re in a situation where you can’t be honest with me,” he levelled, sounding determined.
I looked into those familiar blue eyes of his and was gifted a rather ill-timed flashback of them dilating as a result of an intense climax. His mesmerising moans of pleasure were next to hit me, and the feel of liquid heat rushing to the area in between my legs became almost unbearable as I came to realise just how aroused I was at the thought of having Luke buried deep within me again.
No, no, no.
“How about we take this discussion back to yours? I’ll help you fill out some more application forms and we’ll set everything straight.” he ensured, taking hold of my trembling hands.
“Okay,” I agreed, trying not to enjoy the way our fingers felt, interlocked.
“Jesus, you’re shaking,” he acknowledged, fearful in his revelation. “Are you alright?”
“Fine, I’m just a little nervous. I have no idea what happens next,” I admitted, directing my gaze towards the tiled floor.
“Nothing has to happen if the thought of doing so makes you upset,” he insisted, tugging me into yet another hug. “The way I see it, we have two options. We either shag again or we cut our losses,” he laughed, thankfully taking me along with him.
I giggled against his open suggestion and nodded my head, seeing Sasha return with the added two Nutella jars to our pile.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I smiled, not wanting Sasha to gain suspicion.
I ignored his hopeful expression.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Just Friends
Having found yet another junior position in marketing at some premium fashion brand, I was feeling rather optimistic and hoped to at least be given the chance to express myself in a face-to-face interview. There was nothing worse than being rejected without even being seen.
“See, instead of here where you had ‘experience on tills’, I’ve changed it so that it says, ‘knowledgeable in various till systems and experience in cash handling.’ It just sounds more impressive, ya know?” explained Luke, helping me re-write my CV.
“Yeah, you’re right. It does sound better.” I agreed, finishing off the formatting and attaching it to my email.
“And you’re happy with the cover letter?” he then asked, reading it over once more.
His thick frames rested sexily at the bridge of his nose. I was used to seeing him in glasses, yet I’d never really taken the time to appreciate how truly great he looked. The way they accentuated his glorious cheekbones and magnified his bright blue eyes; just beautiful. I always did have a thing for geeky boys and seeing Luke personally embody that was certainly making me look at him differently. Of course, it was completely inappropriate of me and I shouldn’t have been having those thoughts. One night of passion and I was suddenly viewing him as more than just the boy who used to wear superhero T-shirts and ate cheese stings like nobody’s business.
“Yep, I’m ready to send it if you think it’s good enough,” I replied, keeping my gaze locked firmly on the laptop’s keyboard.
“Alright, sent!” he announced, clicking the button with dramatic flair. “I have a good feeling about this one, ya know?” he ad
ded, pulling off his glasses.
“Yeah, me too. Twenty three grand a year and I’d be based in Mayfair. That sounds amazing,” I smiled, closing the lid and lying back on my bed.
Luke resisted the urge to join me and instead, stared at me from his seated position, choosing to rather awkwardly address the situation.
“Should we talk about last night, then?”
“Probably for the best,” I said, gesturing towards my bedroom door. “Shall I bring our cakes in?” I asked, optimistic that sugar would help make everything more bearable.
“Absolutely,” he smiled, well and truly on my level with regards to calorie intake.
I enthusiastically jumped off my bed and caught Sasha on her way out; tonight’s class consisting of boxercise. Earlier on, she had asked if I wanted to join her and upon doing so, received a laugh to the face and a dramatic, “God, no.” I really did admire her efforts at trying to get me fit but it was energy wasted. I was about as likely to engage in regular exercise as I was in starting up a romantic relationship with Luke.
Never gonna happen!
Instead, I bode her a swift farewell and quickly grabbed the cakes, keen to get back to Luke. I had no idea how this conversation between us was about to play out, but what I did know was that I couldn’t admit how our shared night together was giving me unwanted thoughts. It would only confuse matters and add strain to an already tense circumstance. Surely it was natural to be experiencing these kinds of feelings after spending the night together. It didn’t have to mean anything. Suffering a moment of weakness did not automatically translate to change. Sure, I found him extremely endearing and the sex was out of this world. Did that mean I wanted to sleep with him again?
Yes!
“No.” I said aloud, purely for my own benefit and perhaps sanity.
My brain couldn’t be trusted to think on its own.
“One Vanilla Slice for you, sir,” I happily stated, re-entering my bedroom.
I found him sat in the exact same position as before; stiff as a board and somewhat expectant.
“Thanks,” he smiled, though I knew better than to believe it.
“You okay?” I asked, digging into my Bakewell. “You look a little uneasy.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m just at odds end,” he admitted, leaving his cake for now.
“You mean you’re confused?”
The clear blue element to his eyes was no longer present. With his gaze settled firmly on the carpet beneath him, and it was obvious all previous confidence was long gone.
“I’m not confused, more frustrated because we can’t do it again.”
His revelation shocked me, but not wanting to sound too excited or repulsed, I settled for something in between.
Curiosity.
“Is that what you want?” I paused. “To do it again?”
“Yeah,” he replied, instantaneously. “Had you been anyone else I wouldn’t think twice.”
“But I’m not just anyone else, am I?” I reasoned, sounding sad, even to my own ears.
His response was to shake his head, each slow motion movement as sad as the last.
“And that leaves us in quite an awkward situation because I feel the same way, Luke. Last night was…enjoyable.”
Christ, enjoyable. Really Maya?
“I mean, it was fantastic, brilliant, life changing even.”
“Alright, calm your boots!” he smiled, catching on to my exaggeration.
“What I mean is, we’re not rejecting each other because of our performance. We’re rejecting each other because-”
“Because we’re scared?”
“Exactly,” I replied, scooting myself next to his side, having craved his closeness. “I just don’t want anything to change,” I added, resting my head against his shoulder.
“And sleeping together again would change things?” he questioned, pulling me further into the Luke cave.
“I think it would, do you?” I asked, breathing in his natural scent.
“Yeah but change can sometimes be good.”
Hmm?
“We’ll never really know unless we try, but I understand if you don’t want to,” he continued, essentially leaving the ball in my court.
I pealed myself away from his body and looked him dead in the eye with a seriousness I’ve never before possessed.
Don’t be tempted. Do not be tempted.
“I don’t want to,” I sighed, not entirely meaning it. “Our friendship means the absolute world to me, Luke and if there’s even a slight chance of fucking that up, I’ll walk the other way. You know I will,” I stated, firm in my saying so.
“So we cut our losses, then,” he smiled, though I didn’t buy it.
“And you’re okay with that?” I asked, crawling my way back inside the cave.
“I am if that’s what you want,” he ensured, again, leaving the final decision up to me.
“It is.”
He smiled.
“Then I promise nothing has to change.”
~~~
The next morning saw an improvement to the previous one; my head having been in a much better place both literally and mentally. Luke had left soon after we demolished our cakes and although seemingly down, had ensured me everything was fine. Of course, I didn’t believe him, but I respected his need to perhaps be alone for the evening. After all, I pretty much rejected any chance of giving things a go between us. Had he been anyone else, I would’ve jumped at the potential opportunity, but I couldn’t risk starting up a relationship with him for it all to go tits up. Not while I was still so confused over the matter. Sleeping with him had, to some extent, sparked an obvious attraction, but I couldn’t let that affect my judgement. I was scared calling him anything other than my best friend would tip me over the edge and see me run for the hills. I was struggling to make sense of my thoughts, too entrapped by Luke who, up until then, was the boy who got chewing gum stuck in my hair at the age of nine, prompting the mother of all haircuts. I’d cried for days when my lovely, long locks had been given the chop and only stopped once I’d overheard Luke’s Dad telling my Mum that he was just as distraught as I was. As it turned out, he was riddled with guilt for being the one to initiate such a dramatic outcome in the first place and upon learning of my unhappiness, was sure I’d hate him forever. Needless to say, that wasn’t the case.
We’d yet to fight since, but it didn’t automatically make us immune to a fallout of sorts.
“Maya, you awake babe?” questioned Sasha, throwing her enquiry through my bedroom door.
“Yeah!” I replied, removing myself from the comfort of my bed. “Everything okay?”
I just about made it into my dressing gown when her smiling face peered through my cracked door; eyes bright, smile wide.
“I have my date with Jace tonight. Do you think I should shave?”
Oh, bloody hell!
“Yeah, probably,” I laughed, dragging a brush through my mangled hair. “Where’s he taking you?”
“Out for food somewhere in Soho,” she answered, sounding excited. “I told him I was a health nut and he says he knows the perfect place. Did I tell you he’s training to be a copper?”
“No, you didn’t,” I replied, thinking Jace would look nothing short of edible in a police uniform.
“Sexy, isn’t it? A man of the law,” she gushed, ever so amazed.
I refrained from agreeing and even though I approved, doing so aloud would be admitting my thoughts on Luke and his sexiness. I wouldn’t’ve normally given his occupation much thought, but I was suddenly inclined to find his extent knowledge and passion for family law a sodding turn on.
“It’s definitely cool,” I retorted, doing so through clenched teeth.
“Right, well I’m off to give myself a Brazilian,” she informed, thankfully oblivious to my hash tone.
“Have fun,” I said, venturing out into the kitchen, needing Nutella pronto.
I found my phone resting on the counter and discovered three m
issed calls and a text from work, asking if I could come in for a couple of hours to cover the lunch switch. I texted Jen a quick, “I’ll be there in an hour.” and proceeded to smear a shit tonne of chocolate spread on my toast, finishing it off with sliced banana.
I’m all about the balanced diet.
“Sash, I’m heading to work for a few!” I yelled, hearing her pull off the wax strip, followed by a chain of “Fuck, shit, bollocks!”
“You alive?” I asked, pissing myself laughing.
“Just,” she whimpered, shoving her head though her door. “Will you be back to help me pick an outfit?”
“Sure. Luke helped me apply for a job in fashion yesterday. It’ll be good practice for when I don’t get an interview,” I replied, opting out for sarcasm.
“Don’t say that. I’m sure something will come up soon,” she offered, knowing how frustrated I was beginning to get.
“Hopefully. See ya later?”
“I’ll be waiting,” she ensured, closing her door behind her.
I quickly got washed and shoved my hair up into a messy bun, skipping on make-up all together. Then, fighting my way into my jacket and grabbing my phone, I composed a quick text to Luke in the hopes I was met with a positive reply.
I locked up behind me and set about my commute to work, rather enjoying the crisp, morning air. I always thought most when I walked and took this opportunity to really evaluate everything that had taken place the past day and a half, relentlessly so. Images of Luke and me in bed together played on repeat in my head like a home movie and I found by the time I reached the restaurant, I was panting like a dog.
“You’re a star, Maya!” cried Jen, looking nothing short of stressed. “You can have any day off next week for this,” she continued, passing me an apron.
“Don’t be silly. You know I don’t mind helping out,” I insisted, knowing I’d do almost anything for Jen.
Being married and having a family of her own, I understood the struggles she underwent on a daily basis trying to keep things afloat and often found the woman put herself under far too much pressure. Billy, the owner, expected too much of her, all of us even, and I was constantly telling him how short staffed we were. Of course, he never listened and thought just because he had the legal amount of people employed, he’d be fine. What he didn’t take into consideration was the fact that most of us were there to simply make ends meet until a better opportunity came along. I knew for a fact as soon as I was offered a job elsewhere, I’d be out of there. Then where would he be?
My Not So One Night Stand Page 6
