She laughed. “He also mentioned staking you out on a hillside in Afghanistan with a box of MREs and a FREE TO GOOD HOME sign pinned to your chest.”
Okay, that sounded like Sarge when he went on a tear. “The good news is that he’ll have time to cool off before he gets back here.”
“Yeah, he will.” Callie’s smile faded. “It seems like forever before that happens, though.”
“At least you know he’s not getting shipped out again.” Leif winked at her over the brim of his cup. “Besides, you’ve got me here.”
His cell phone lit up and played Nick’s ringtone. Leif braced himself for a tirade. He punched the speakerphone button so Callie could hear both ends of the conversation. With that in mind, he did his best to head Nick off at the pass.
“Hi, Sarge. Sorry I missed your calls this morning. But before you proceed to tear me a new one, you should know that Callie is here and listening.”
“What’s the matter, Corporal? Too cowardly to talk to me on your own?”
Only someone who knew Nick well would’ve been able to tell from his ice-cold tone that he wasn’t really angry. No, he was green-eyed jealous because Leif was sitting right where Nick would give anything to be.
“Not at all. Callie was missing you, and I was cheering her up by reminding her that I’m much better-looking. Also, right now I have longer hair, not that crappy buzz cut you’re sporting, all of which makes me a lot more manly. I hadn’t yet gotten to the part about me not snoring as loudly as you do.”
Nick rose to the bait. “Leif, you no good son of a—”
Leif cut him off before he could finish. “Before you start launching grenades in my direction, Sarge, I’ll remind you that the woman is so besotted with you that she fails to see my charms. Not sure how you managed to pull that off, but maybe you could give me some pointers. After last night, it seems obvious I could use them.”
Well, shit, he hadn’t meant to let that slip out. Callie immediately went on point. Now there would be no escaping a full-out inquisition. She’d try to wring every painful detail out of him, and Nick would be right there beside her asking his own tactless questions.
In fact, he launched the opening salvo. “So what woman failed to appreciate your questionable charms this time? Do you need me to call her up and lie about what a great catch you’d be?”
If his friend had sounded smug instead of concerned, Leif would’ve told Nick exactly what physically painful thing he could do with his offer.
Instead, Leif gave him a limited amount of the truth. “It’s not her fault, Sarge. We both know I’m not in a position to get involved until I know how this thing with my leg is going to play out. All I know is being a combat soldier in the army. If I lose that, I lose everything.”
Nick wasn’t having it. “That’s bullshit, Leif, and you know it. There’s way more to life than the army.”
Yeah, maybe that was true for Nick, especially now that he’d met Callie. He was walking away from his career without a second’s hesitation. But then, unlike Leif, Nick had made the decision to leave on his own terms. Leif might be forced out, and he’d never thought much about what he would do after the army, figuring he had at least another twelve years to decide.
The entire situation left him raw and hurting. “Maybe you’re right about that, Nick, but it’s all I’ve ever had.”
He lurched to his feet and tossed the phone to Callie. “Here, talk to your woman. She’s missing you. I’ve got work to do. Important stuff like dusting and weeding.”
Then he slammed out of the kitchen, not sure where he was headed. All he knew for sure was that he needed to put some space between himself and his friends before all hell broke loose.
• • •
His temper ran out of steam about the time he reached the gazebo in the back corner of the yard. He parked his ass and tried to figure out what to do next.
Apologize to Callie? Yeah, that was at the top of the list. Nick? Not so much. The guy code was pretty specific about such things. A punch in the arm when Nick got back to Snowberry Creek and paying for an extra round the next time they hit a bar together should handle it.
The back screen door creaked. Great. Callie was headed his way. It would be both rude and cowardly to make her hunt for him, even if he really didn’t want to be found. She was already worried about his mental state. Playing hide-and-seek would only complicate the issue.
He called out, “I’m over here.”
Mooch arrived a few steps ahead of Callie. The dog made a complete circuit of the gazebo, nose to the ground, and then ran back out into the yard to check on the squirrel situation. Meanwhile, Callie took a seat on the opposite bench. Smart of her not to crowd him right now. He waved his hand in the air and shook his head.
“It wasn’t all that long ago that I couldn’t have told you what a gazebo even was. Now I hang out in one. How weird is that?”
Callie laughed. It sounded a bit forced, but he figured she understood he was trying to lighten the moment. He made himself meet her gaze, hating the concern he saw reflected there. Trouble was, he was worried about himself, too. He cleared his throat and forced the words out.
“Sorry I lost my temper in the house. I’m a jerk sometimes. Lately, more often than not.”
Her response was slow in coming. “I don’t care about a little show of temper, Leif, but I am worried about you.”
God, he hated this shit. Right now all he wanted to think about was rebuilding his leg and his life. He wanted to cut his hair, put on his uniform, and get back to the business of protecting the country. That was the life he’d chosen. It was all he knew. Without it, he would have to start over from scratch and figure out who else he could be.
The thought made his skin hurt.
What he wouldn’t give to roll back the clock to that day in Afghanistan when his life went all to hell in the first place. Yeah, first up, he’d make Spence turn right instead of left. Or was it the other way around? He didn’t care as long as whichever way they went would take them down a different street, one without an IED and a bunch of crazies trying to kill them.
But there were no effing do-overs in war. Hell, that last part was pretty catchy. Maybe he should have that tattooed on his shoulder, or maybe his ass.
“Leif!”
Had he said that out loud? Judging by the horrified look on Callie’s face, that was exactly what he’d done. Great “Sorry, Callie. Soldier humor can be pretty grim. Didn’t mean to shock you. No tats for me. I hate needles too much. Ask Nick if you don’t believe me.” His cheeks flushed red. “I almost fainted the day I got all my vaccinations. Seriously. Only knowing how much crap Spence would’ve given me over it kept me upright and moving.”
She looked marginally happier. “Yeah, I know how he is.” Then she immediately grimaced and pounded her fists on her thighs. “Darn it. I meant to say I know how he was. God, Leif, why can’t I ever get that straight?”
When her eyes filled with tears, Leif slid around the bench to the other side and put his arm around Callie’s shoulders. “It’s easy to forget because he was such a big part of our lives, Callie, and he still is. I see something that he’d get a kick out of and expect to hear him laugh or make some wiseass remark. All I get is silence.”
His own eyes burned now. “Sometimes I miss him so damn much I want to punch something. But even if remembering what happened to him hurts like a bitch, forgetting him would be so much worse.”
The two of them settled into a long silence. Leif cast about for some way to lighten the moment again.
“Let me think of a funny story about Spence. Most of them are R-rated, so it might take me a minute.”
She punched his arm. “Hey, I’m a big girl. I can take it.”
He shot her a quick grin. “Maybe I’m the one with delicate sensibilities.”
Callie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”
“Okay, how about this one. We were in a fine drinking establishment a couple of nights before we
were due to be deployed. The place catered to the military, so it was a combo crowd of army, navy, and marines.”
She winced. “I bet that was a volatile mix.”
“Don’t you know it, especially with alcohol flowing freely. Anyway, Spence ended up in a game of darts with some hotshot marine. Someone came up with the brilliant idea that the loser would have to serenade the other guy and his buddies as well as buy them the next round. Nick and I hovered close by because we were sure it was going to end in a brawl.”
He chuckled as he remembered that night. “Sure enough, Spence lost. No surprise there. Sober, I don’t know anyone who could beat him at darts. Two beers, and he was all bluff and blunder. The marine kicked his ass in the game and then ordered Spence to pay up.”
Callie looked far happier than she had a short time ago. “So what song did he sing?”
Leif stared up at the roof overhead and lost himself in the moment. “He sang ‘Call Me Maybe.’ Not only that, he danced around those marines like a lunatic, batting his eyes and holding his hand to his ear as if he really wanted them to call.”
Leif pantomimed a few of Spence’s better moves. “Then he ended his performance by kissing that marine on the cheek.”
“Oh, God, tell me he didn’t!”
By now, Callie was holding her sides as she laughed. The story wasn’t all that funny, but they both needed the release.
As she wiped her eyes, she asked, “So how bad was the ensuing brawl?”
Ah, now that was another fond memory. The two groups had been evenly matched, so bruises and bloody knuckles all around. He played it down for Callie, although she probably saw through his ruse.
“Oh, not too serious. We ended up closing the place down with those guys. Spence and that marine even kept in touch afterward.”
Someone else who had mourned his passing, but Leif didn’t let that thought dampen his good spirits. It was time to move on. He realized he’d been hearing the distant sound of a vacuum cleaner in the background. The kid had really taken him seriously about the chores today.
“I’d better go check on Austin. We were going to do some housecleaning today, and I haven’t lifted a finger to help him. He’s making me look bad.”
Callie followed him toward the house. “When you call Nick back, which you will be doing, be sure to tell him how hard Austin is trying. Maybe he won’t worry so much.”
“I’ll tell him, but his talent for mothering those in his charge is part of what helped Nick earn those stripes he wears on his sleeve.”
“Yeah, I know. I swear he’d wrap me in bubble wrap and keep me in a box if he could.”
She didn’t look at all upset about it, either. “You feel the same way about him.”
“Yeah, well, that holds true for you, too. And speaking about worrying—”
He’d wondered when she would work the conversation back around to last night. “I’m fine, Callie. The woman in question and I came to an agreement on how to proceed from this point, so we’re good. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter.”
Then there was the other thing. “Uh, just so you know, I have business in town this afternoon. Gage is making me attend a veterans’ support group meeting as part of the deal we made the other night when he didn’t throw my ass in a cell. It starts at three and lasts about two hours.”
It was a relief when Callie didn’t follow him up the steps. She stayed down on the ground, shading her eyes from the afternoon sun as she stared up at him.
“You might want to let Nick know what you’re doing. Maybe he’d like to go, too, when he gets back, if you find it worthwhile. Either way, neither one of us wants to see you get hurt, Leif. I know you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t stop me from caring about what’s going on in your life.”
When he didn’t immediately respond, she kept talking. “If you ever need to talk, I’m your gal. If you need someone to track this woman down and knock some sense into her, let me know. You don’t want to wait until Nick’s back to take care of that little chore. He lacks a certain talent for subtlety.”
“You think?”
The image of Nick trying to be subtle wouldn’t even begin to come into focus, but at least their conversation was ending with a laugh.
“Seriously, I’ll keep all of that in mind. Now I think I’d better get to work. Gotta set a good example for the kid, you know.”
Callie was already walking away. “Have fun with that.”
Then she turned back. “I knew I was forgetting something. With the folks gone, I’m tired of cooking for one, so I’m going to bring over dinner tonight. Say about six?”
Leif countered her offer. “Better yet, let’s go out. My treat and your choice of places. I’ll pick you up at six.”
“See you then.”
Chapter 21
He liked that the sign marking the entrance to the church parking lot read ALL ARE WELCOME HERE. He hoped that was true.
As soon as he got out of the truck, he spotted a familiar figure. Damn it, he should’ve known Gage would be there to make sure he showed up. Leif hadn’t called ahead to tell him because he’d been waffling right up to the last minute. He’d spent almost an hour trying to decide what to wear, worrying about his wardrobe decision like a teenage girl about to go on her first date.
A full uniform had seemed over the top, but he hadn’t wanted to go completely civilian, either. He’d finally settled on jeans with one of his army T-shirts worn under a short-sleeved sport shirt. His combat boots provided one more connection to his other life, the one he hoped to get back to as soon as possible. The tops of his boots were hidden by his jeans, so there was nothing showing that said “soldier.”
In the end, he’d left the shirt unbuttoned with his dog tags hanging out where they could be seen. When he checked his image one last time, it had still looked wrong, out of focus somehow. Finally, after meeting his own frustrated gaze in the mirror, he decided his unkempt hair had to go. A quick buzz cut fixed the problem, leaving him running late but definitely feeling more like himself.
While it was a relief not to have to walk into the meeting alone, Gage’s presence also eliminated any possibility of making a run for it. He slowly walked over to where the other man stood by a set of steps that led down to the basement of the small church. His speed had nothing to do with his injured leg and everything to do with how much he didn’t want to do this.
Gage knew it, too. “Glad you came.”
Leif shrugged. “It was even money that I wouldn’t.”
Instead of getting mad, Gage laughed. “Yeah, I felt that same way the first time I dragged my sorry ass down those steps.”
Interesting. “So why did you?”
Gage stared past him. “Because my late wife offered me pretty much the same deal I offered you: Either I got help or else. Period. End of discussion.”
He shook his head and smiled again. “For such a little thing, my wife sure could sure play hardball, but then she was right. I needed to talk to somebody who’d been there. She offered to listen herself, but she didn’t need all that ugliness in her head, too. It was bad enough that I did. Still do, for that matter, but at least it’s manageable now. Most of the time, anyway.”
That wasn’t exactly what Leif wanted to hear, but he should’ve known there were no easy fixes. His guilt over Spence’s death coupled with the ongoing problems with his leg added up to a tangled mess that was bound to take a while to unravel. That is, if it could be done at all.
Three more vehicles pulled into the parking lot. Leif shifted restlessly. He’d have to meet the other members of the group eventually, but standing out here in the parking lot had him feeling exposed.
“Should we go in?”
Gage clapped him on the shoulder. “Yeah, let’s. Jack Haliday, the pastor I told you about, prefers to meet with new members in his office before most of the others arrive.”
Leif followed Gage down the steps and into a brightly lit room. It resembled one of t
he rooms at his mom’s church, the kind of space that was used for everything from sleepovers for kids to meetings like the one he was heading into. The sense of familiarity helped ease some of his jitters.
Just after they walked through the door, a tall man with salt-and-pepper hair came into the room carrying a large coffee urn. As soon as he spotted Gage, he set it down and headed straight for them.
“Gage! It’s been a while since we’ve had the pleasure of your company at a meeting.”
Although he didn’t phrase it as a question, Gage answered as if it had been. “I’ve been doing better lately, Jack. I’m really here to introduce my friend to you and some of the other guys. Reverend Jack Haliday, this is Corporal Leif Brevik.”
The older man smiled and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Corporal. I’m glad you’re here.”
What could Leif say to that? He didn’t want to lie, but neither was he happy to be there. He shook the man’s hand and simply said, “Nice to meet you, sir.”
To his surprise, the pastor laughed. “I’m pretty sure you don’t really mean that, son, but that’s okay.”
His smile faded as more men filed into the room. He lowered his voice. “Few of our members are here because they want to be, Corporal. They are here because they need to be. That’s true for me as well. And please call me Jack. I’m not wearing just my pastor hat at these meetings.”
Leif found himself warming to the minister. “I’m Leif.”
“Well, Leif, let’s grab a cup of coffee and then head into my office for a few minutes so I can get just a little information from you. It won’t take long.”
Gage rejoined the conversation. “I’ll save you a seat next to me if you’d like.”
Leif nodded, grateful for the lifeline Gage was offering him. “I’d appreciate that.”
As he followed Jack down the hall, he couldn’t resist one last look back to make sure Gage was still there. The lawman waved before turning away to talk to someone else. Leif hesitated outside the doorway to Jack’s office, still not sure he wanted to do this.
More Than a Touch: A Snowberry Creek Novel Page 20
