by Sumida, Amy
Then my door flew open and I followed it out, landing in a tangled heap in my front yard. I blinked drunkenly up at the moon for a bit before the sound of fighting broke through to me. I sat up, things shifting in my vision, and made it to my feet with a certain amount of stumbling involved.
In front of me was a pile of men… sort of. Trevor was in half-form, so there was bits of black fur thrown into the mix. Kirill, my normally cool cat, was growling and snapping right along with my crazy wolf. I had a moment to feel sorry for Anubis, right before Trevor went flying into a tree. He launched himself back at Anubis within seconds though.
“Enough!” I screamed and jumped on top of the pile. Well, okay, it was more of a drunken lunge. Bodies shifted beneath me, rolling out until I was lying between the two factions in a sort of stunned sprawl.
“How could you do this to me?” Trevor was screeching, his voice cracking as he shifted back to human, “To us?”
“I…” I looked at Anubis hopelessly and then Kirill. “I had too much to drink and Anubis drove me home.”
“You zink being drunk is valid excuse?” Now Kirill was getting into the action.
“No, I just…” I groaned and rubbed my head. I couldn’t think straight. Why had I drank so much?
“You just what?” Trevor was still screaming… and naked in my front yard.
“Can we go inside please?” I looked around at my neighbor’s windows, curtains were beginning to shift, and tried to roll to my feet.
“No, we’re having it out right here, right now!”
“I’m sorry, Trevor… Kirill,” I was starting to sober up real fast. I even made it to my feet. “Anubis showed up and I was drinking. I wasn’t able to drive, so he drove me home and I fell asleep along the way. When I woke up, he was there and I forgot myself for a second.”
“No,” Trevor grabbed me by my upper arms and shook me. “You forgot me, you forgot Kirill, and you even forgot Odin. You have three lovers, one of whom I didn’t approve of, and still you want more? Where does it end? Where do we end?”
“Trevor, please, I love you,” I stroked his face and he rubbed his cheek into my hand for a brief moment, before his eyes hardened.
“I love you too but I can’t let you keep walking all over me.” He pushed away from me. “You just push and push, and I’m just supposed to take it, right? I’m bonded so you can treat me however you like and I won’t leave. Well, that’s bullshit. I’m gone.”
He started to chant a tracing spell and I launched myself at him. I ended up sprawled on the ground with a face full of grass, no trace of my werewolf. I stayed there, curling up in a ball and watering the yard with my tears. I heard a growl and looked back to see Kirill restraining Anubis.
“It’s time for you to leave, Jackal,” Kirill shoved Anubis back. “You’ve done enough damage.”
“Vervain,” Anubis' eyes were wounded, “I’m so sorry. I never intended to cause you more pain.” He chanted and traced away.
Kirill looked at me like I was Jezebel for a second before his eyes cleared and he walked over. He picked me up and carried me into the house, while I cried into his shoulder like my world was ending. Big, body-wracking sobs. I felt the softness of my bed support me as he laid me down and then he crawled up next to me, to hold me until my tears had waned to occasional hiccups.
“I’m sorry, Kirill,” I must’ve looked like hell, red eyes and a runny nose, but he just brushed my hair back and kissed me gently.
“I know, Tima,” he wiped my face with a tissue. “It’s okay, I have you. It vill be okay.”
“You’re not mad at me?” I felt about three-years-old, saying that.
“About Egyptian?” He smiled gently and stroked my face. “Nyet. You know I have no issue vith ozer men. As long as you love me, I can deal vith you loving ozers. I know love has no limits and I’ve shared a voman for most of my life. Ven it comes down to it, I am Intare first, man second. Zis is normal for me, better zan normal actually.”
“But you attacked Anubis with Trevor,” I sat up and gently pushed his hands away. I couldn't think straight with them on me.
“I know,” he sighed and followed me into a seated position. “Zere’s something unexpected zat occurred vith Trevor’s acceptance of me as your mate. Ve bonded… all of us. You and me as lovers, Trevor and I as brozers… of a sort. I can feel his emotions and zey have effect on me.”
“But I can’t feel his emotions,” why did that hurt so much? Maybe if I’d had something like that with Trevor, I wouldn’t have messed with Anubis. Oh, great, now I was making excuses.
“You have part of him inside you, Tima,” he took my hand and began to rub soothing circles in my palm. “It’s different for us. Our bond is pure sensation… feeling. Vat ve feel vith you, for you, has connected us and so ve can feel it in each ozer. You understand?”
“Yeah,” I sniffled, “I think I do. So his anger pushed you into fighting Anubis.”
“I vas upset zat he vas hurt,” Kirill frowned. “It more I vanted to defend my brozer, zan anger I vas feeling because of him, but his anger did prompt me as vell. Once he vas gone, I vas able to return to myself. But why Anubis? He is bad choice for you.”
“I know, I have no excuse.” I started to think, and it was hard, harder than it should have been. I should have sobered up already. Why hadn't I? Why had I got so drunk in the first place? I'd had lot of alcohol before with no effect. Why had it been different this time?
“Trevor can not forgive past.”
“Trevor,” I moaned and covered my face with my hands.
It was so much worse than when Thor and I had ended. Now I knew, for a fact, which man I loved more, which man I didn’t want to live without. I had been hurt when Thor had left me, severely wounded, but a lot of that was over his betrayal not the ending of the relationship. I hadn’t felt this debilitating pain, like all the colors had faded and my world had been reduced to shades of gray because he wasn't a part of it anymore.
A soft mewl brought my head up to find Nicholas, my gray tabby, padding over the blankets to me. Cats always knew when you needed them. They could seem aloof to some people because they weren’t as needy as dogs but I wasn’t a needy person, I didn’t want an animal hounding my every step. I preferred the way a cat would snuggle up to you for a little cuddle, then scamper off to hunt something down, kill it, and leave it on your doorstep as a present. Now, that was love. And they always, always knew when you were sad. There was nothing like a warm, purring kitty to help you feel better.
I guess Kirill had a little of that in him too because he pulled me back against him and snuggled us under the covers as Nick took up residence on my open side. The purring of my two cats eased my tension and lulled me into a false sense of security. I closed my eyes, knowing that when I woke up, things wouldn't be any better but I was determined to ignore it for the moment.
Chapter Seven
“Tima, you have to get up,” Kirill’s voice was gentle but his hands on me were insistent.
“No, baby, let me sleep a little more,” I pulled the covers over my head and dislodged Nick, who nosed his way beneath them with me.
“You’ve slept two days,” Kirill crawled under the blankets as well, to push his face into my neck.
“I got up,” I sighed and shifted, trying desperately to get back to blessed oblivion.
“To shower and eat,” Kirill complained, “zen you vent straight back to bed.”
“Has Trevor called?”
“No, Tima,” he sighed into my shoulder. “I vould’ve told you if he had.”
“Yeah, okay,” my heart started its painful bleeding all over again.
He’d walked out on me once before but he’d been back in less than 24 hours. It was when I’d refused to marry him. When I finally came to my senses, it was too late. I had become this polygamous Queen of the Intare. Marriage didn’t seem to be an option for me anymore but Trevor had been alright with it. He’d accepted the multiple mate thing. He’d even
accepted Odin as one of them… sort of. But he couldn’t accept Anubis, the god who abducted and raped me. Who could blame him?
And once again, I’d fucked it all up.
“Do you know where he is?” I turned to look at Kirill.
“He’s at Moonshine,” his voice was the barest whisper. I immediately tried to sit up but he pulled me back down. “Leave him be for now, Tima. He needs to heal and come to terms vith vat you’ve done.”
“It was only a kiss,” I leaned back in defeat.
“Not to Trevor,” Kirill kissed me to soften the words. “He saw it as betrayal. Let him be for now, he’ll come around. He loves you.”
“I think I may have been under the influence of more than just alcohol,” I mused, a nagging feeling filling my gut.
“Vat do you mean?”
“I was really intoxicated.”
“Da, I know zis.”
“Yes, and when have you ever seen me so drunk? Especially now that I've had a drink from the Grayel. I can usually drink like a fish and have no problems.”
“You zink Anubis put magic in drink?” Kirill frowned and started to growl.
“I don't know,” I sighed. “Maybe I'm just looking for an excuse but honestly, Kirill, now that I'm sober, I don't want anything to do with Anubis. How could a few drinks change my mind so completely?”
“I don't zink zey could,” Kirill shook his head. “I still zink we should vait on telling Trevor zough. He's not ready to hear anyzing from you.”
“So I’m just supposed to just sit here and wait?” I glared up at him. “I don’t wait well.”
“Nyet,” he chuckled and nipped my nose. “You’re much too impatient. Maybe zis is good lesson for you.”
“Fuck you, Kirill.”
“Now zat’s best offer I’ve had in days,” he lowered his mouth to mine.
I suddenly realized how unfair I’d been to my lion. He cared for me too and I'd neglected him. I didn’t just have one lover to worry about anymore. I had three and a whole pride of Intare to take care of as well. I couldn’t afford to let my pain keep me bedridden… well, unless it was in a more productive way.
Kirill growled as he felt me respond, my arms pulling him closer and my tongue fighting his. I pulled back and pushed him over, straddling him and trapping him in a tangle of his own hair. Thoughts of Trevor eased back a little as I leaned over my black lion, his blue eyes burning up at me.
“Kirill,” his name a prayer, an adoration. “I love you. I could be happy with only you. If not for the magic, I could.”
“If not for magic,” he pulled me down and licked at a hanging breast, “ve vouldn’t be togezer at all. I’m zankful for lioness magic, it brought me you, my savior,” he pulled my face to his. “My Queen,” the kiss he placed on my lips was chaste. “My love,” he deepened it then, till we were writhing together, wrapped in the silk of hair and sheets.
I’d been with Kirill before, just the two of us, but it had never been like this. It was like the knowledge of us truly being alone for the first time, was affecting our passion. It was all new; his body suddenly undiscovered territory, his heart mine for the first time. My hands wandered over him ceaselessly, learning and memorizing him as my lips followed.
He groaned and it was the sweetest music to me, sending shivers down my arms. I feasted on him, nipping and licking him from his ears to his stomach before he grabbed me by both arms and threw me back to the mattress. His teeth met with the tender flesh of my stomach, nipping and biting. He worked his way up and over my chest, leaving light red marks in his wake. My back arched involuntarily, propelling a breast into his mouth. He laved at it and slid a hand between my legs, rubbing and then parting me.
Then his mouth was over that tender spot, a hot tongue splitting me in two and a growl sending me over the edge with its vibration. He worked me, growling and licking, til I was wet and then shot up, sliding in with a single thrust, a feat harder to accomplish than it sounds but made easier with my intense desire.
“Man in me does vant you all to self,” his eyes caught mine with the intensity only Kirill could achieve. “Zat part of me is selfishly rejoicing to have you alone,” his hands were at the sides of my face, holding me in case I thought to escape his words. “But lion in me misses my brozer and mourns to see you in pain. I’m so torn, Tima. How do I love you? How do you vant me to love you now?”
“Like there is only you and I,” I whispered and pulled his face closer, his long, black hair falling around us and blocking out the world. “Forget the others, forget the magic, and just love me…Vervain, not your Tima. Can you love the woman without the guise of a goddess?”
His eyes brightened, “Both man and beast in me have loved you, before I even knew you vere my Tima. It vas you who called me from my hell, your heart zat spoke to mine ven it couldn't hear. I love you, Vervain, I vill always love you.”
I held onto him as he showed me how much he loved me, over and over, until I could finally think about facing the world without Trevor.
Chapter Eight
“How is she?” The familiar voice drifted through my dreams, warming me and pulling me away from them.
“She’s doing better,” Kirill was in the hall, his voice echoed down to me.
I groaned as I sat up, dislodging Nick, who was sleeping on my pillow. A kitty technique to calm my head. I scratched his chin as he blinked hopeful green eyes up at me. There was movement from the hall and then my bedroom door was opening.
“Tima?” Kirill’s starkly handsome face peered around the door. “Are you up for a visitor?”
“Odin’s here?” I don’t know why I didn’t go see him sooner. Maybe it felt like even more of a betrayal to jump into Odin’s bed right after Trevor left. Odin was accepted as my lover but just barely. I guess tolerated would’ve been a better word for it.
“I can leave if you need more time, sweetheart,” he called down to me and I couldn’t help smiling.
“No, don’t go,” I crawled out of bed, “I’m getting dressed.
Kirill kissed my forehead as I grabbed a dress and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. After splashing some cool water on my face, I put on the heavy emerald pendant Odin had given me for the second time recently.
I say second time because he'd originally given it to me back when I was Sabine. Technically Munin, one of Odin's ravens, gave it to me this time but Odin approved of the re-gift. When I commented on the pulse of magic I felt coming from it, he said Sabine knew she'd need it one day. She, I, never used it back then so I figured maybe it would come in handy for me someday soon. It had already showed me some strange visions so I wanted to make sure I was wearing it, just in case.
When I came out, they were waiting for me in the living room, Nick regarding them warily from an ottoman. I went to give Odin a kiss hello. With Trevor gone I could be freer with him.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as I sat beside him. “I know how much you love him and I know how much he loves you. He’ll get over this, you’ll see.”
“Let’s not talk about it,” I caught Kirill’s worried look out of the corner of my eye and gave him a quick smile. “I have other messes to handle. If Trevor wants to end everything we have because of one drunken kiss, then what can I do?”
“I just want you safe and happy,” Odin took my hand. “You know you can always move in with me for awhile, if you need a change of scenery.”
A low growl was Kirill’s answer to that.
“Be calm, lion,” Odin grinned. “You’d be welcome too. I just know how being around things that remind you of an absent lover can be painful. I thought Vervain might want to escape for a bit.”
“Thank you,” I kissed his cheek quickly. “I think I will come up for a couple of days but I’m not going to run away from home just because my wolf did. I’ll be fine. I’ve been neglecting things in Chinatown and need to focus on that now. Who knows what that bitch has been up to.”
“I’ve actually been keeping an eye out
for her,” he confessed with a school boy grin.
“Thanks, babe,” I grinned back. “So, anything?”
“Not much,” he shook his head. “I’ve had a couple sightings but no real action.”
“Her kind vork behind scenes,” Kirill leaned into the conversation. “Ve von’t know vat she’s up to till she does it.”
“I know what she’s up to,” I fell back against the sofa. “I just don’t know what to do about it. If only I could inoculate her ass.”
“That may not be such a bad idea,” Odin looked suddenly sharp.
“Are you kidding me?” I gave him my stop being ridiculous look. “She’s a goddess. I can’t inoculate her against herself.”
“Why not?” Odin held up his hands. “Hear me out. She’s a plague goddess, we even know what type of plague. She carries Black Death inside her, swirling around in her veins constantly. That’s how she works. She sends it out of herself and into whatever poor creature she decides to torment.”
“So if I were to say, inject her with an antibiotic?” I was beginning to think I was smarter than I thought. Does that make any sense?
“You’d cure her,” Odin’s smile was brilliant.
“Holy cannoli!”
“Yes,” Kirill nodded. “It may vork.”
I was thrilled. I had a new direction, a push that I needed. I jumped up and ran down the hallway to put on my fighting leathers. I was strapping on my kodachi, the Japanese short sword I used, when Kirill called after me.
“Tima, should I ready lions?”
“No, I don’t want them hurt,” I braided my hair tight to my head like a crown so there’d be no handle for anyone to grab while we were fighting.
“Tima,” Kirill’s voice came from the doorway and I looked up to see him standing there. “If you die, ve’re all hurt… all dead actually.”
“I’m not so easy to kill anymore, kitten,” I smiled at his grimace over the new pet name… literally a pet name.
