Animal Instinct

by Noelle N

  "Quinn."

  Jed's voice was so soft I barely heard it, but it was everything I remembered and more. A wide smile flitted across my face as I looked at him, my eyes scanning every inch of his face if only so I could memorise all of him.

  "Hi," I breathed and maybe it was that, the way he finally spoke again only to say my name, that made me pitch forward as I leaned on the tips of my toes, stealing the breath right out of his lungs when I pressed my lips to his.

  10

  LIGHT

  The kiss was feather light.

  Just a small clash of breaths as my lips glossed his, just the barest of contact and the lightest of friction. It was nothing like I expected and everything I wanted to know, because kissing Jed was like treading on new land for the first time, and I wanted to explore every inch of him, taste every bit of him.

  But then reality kicked in and I quickly fell back, my eyes wide as I looked at him. The kiss had lasted for barely three seconds but already it felt like the earth had shifted off its axis and my heart was racing. He was completely still, the expression on his face frozen as he stared back at me, his green eyes far darker than the usual shade I was so familiar with.

  "I-I didn't mean to do that," I stammered, remembering to keep my voice low so that no one else could hear us. I didn't think that anyone had noticed, and when I cast a quick glance over Jed's shoulder, I realised that I was right. "I mean – not that I regretted it or anything, because I didn't – just, I know you're not – " I trailed off, pressing my lips in a tight line and shot him my most apologetic look. "Sorry."

  He glanced away, and his tongue darted out to run briefly across his lips. It sent a pulse of desire rushing through me, because it almost seemed like he was trying to recapture how I tasted against his lips. When he looked back at me, his gaze was soft and he seemed more relaxed than he was mere seconds ago.

  I exhaled. "You're not mad?"

  He shook his head.

  "Oh, okay, good." I smiled in relief and followed him when he went to unlock the front door. He pulled it open, placing a hand on the door as he waited for me to step in first, before he let it swing shut behind the both of us. Familiarity was comforting after a harrowing time, and I took a deep breath. The place was dark but it was home and I felt the tension ease off me. "Well," I said lightly, "I'm exhausted. I'm just going to go – " Gesturing vaguely up the stairs, I smiled at Jed before turning to leave.

  Everything after that was methodical. I trudged upstairs, dumping the bag on the floor and pulling open the door of the closet. Fatigue was kicking in and I grabbed a clean pair of clothes and a towel before ducking into the bathroom.

  But it wasn't until I was rinsing out the grime from my blonde hair that I suddenly noticed a spot of blood on my elbow. It wasn't mine, that was for sure, because I'd escaped relatively unharmed save for the faint bruises around my neck. Which could only mean one thing – it was from Bianca when I was helping her earlier.

  And it all suddenly came rushing back in droves. That room. All the blood, all the chains and whips and equipment, all the dead women. If I closed my eyes, I swore I could see it all behind my shut eyelids. And I could practically imagine their screams and cries as they were tortured until their sanity was barely held together by a frayed thread.

  I was sobbing into my hands before I could even register it, sobbing and vigorously scrubbing out all the filth from my hair and body. Because I really needed that gone, all of that gone, I didn't want anything to do with that terrifying place ever again, I wanted it erased from my memory and I wanted that monster erased from existence.

  A distant knock abruptly pulled me back into reality and I paused. No doubt Jed had heard me with his heightened senses, even if the water had drowned out most of my muffled sobs. And, somehow, his presence nearby was comforting.

  "Just a few more minutes!" I called back, rinsing the soap off my body.

  After towelling myself dry, I pulled on my clothes and stepped out of the bathroom, crossing the bedroom to get to the door. As I'd expected, Jed was standing outside, a tray in his hands. His eyes widened fractionally when he took in my dishevelled appearance and I smiled sheepishly.

  "I just cry a lot," I sniffled, waving off his concerns and opening the door wider to let him into my room. "It's stupid – but I was just so scared and everything I saw there was so sad and I don't even know what I'm saying right now because it's a lot to take in all at once – " I paused, noticing the way he was still hovering by the doorway. "You don't want to come in?"

  His posture was rigid, fingers clutching the tray tightly as he shook his head. Tears forgotten, I stared at him curiously for a few seconds, noticing how he was shifting uneasily from one foot to the other, his eyes averted from mine.

  "Wait," I took a step closer to him. "Why can't you come in?"

  He slowly met my gaze and I was momentarily taken aback by how dark his eyes seemed. After a brief moment of hesitation, Jed opened his mouth a little, and I looked closer, surprise sweeping through me when I noticed his elongated canines.

  "Wow," I murmured, before my eyes widened as I realised what the situation really was about. "Oh. Okay, I get it." I glanced around the room before looking at him. "It's my scent, isn't it? The whole heightened senses thing and since it's my bedroom, you can smell – " Blushing, I stepped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind me, hardly able to stop the flutter in my chest. Because, really, it was pretty flattering when the mere scent of you could turn a guy on. "Alright. Better now?"

  He ran his tongue across his canines and shut his eyes briefly. I watched in fascination as his teeth gradually shrank down to normal size and when he opened his eyes, they were their usual shade once more. He nodded, his cheeks flushing in faint embarrassment but I smiled.

  "Don't worry about it," I assured him, before turning on my heels and gesturing for him to follow. "Come on, let's go down to the living room."

  He followed me, and I was once more intrigued by the way he seemed to move, so silent and stealthy that I could hardly hear a thing. Once I was seated on the couch in the living room, he placed the tray down on the coffee table in front of me. My stomach automatically growled at the sight of food and I was suddenly reminded of how hungry I actually was.

  "Thanks," I told him, eagerly picking up the spoon and scooping a generous mouthful of canned soup. "Have you eaten?"

  He nodded, before taking a seat on the armchair adjacent to the couch, reaching for the first-aid box on my tray. While I ate, I watched him dab a bit of medicated cream onto a cotton swab, more captivated by the way his long fingers moved than anything else, adroit and swift like he was far too used to treating injuries. The unexpected thought made my breath catch and he glanced up, confusion in his eyes.

  I simply shook my head and reached for the cotton swab, pressing it against the bruises on my neck. His face seemed to darken as his eyes traced the bruises on my skin, but I smiled faintly. "It's okay, actually. The guy who did this – Diego – he's the one who helped me escape. And I'd like to find him," I added, feeling a twinge of worry as I thought about the risks Diego had most likely taken to get me out of there. "If only so I can thank him."

  He faltered for a second before relaxing, easing back and placing the things back into the box. There was a lull of silence between us after that, a comfortable one, as I continued to eat and he just sat there, fiddling with his phone sometimes but casting sideway glances at me every now and then just to make sure I hadn't disappeared out of his sight again.

  I didn't question it. Because I was doing the same thing.

  * * *

  I didn't know what woke me up the next morning, but I jolted up with a wrangled cry, hands clammy and heart racing. Maybe it was the restless sleep I had throughout the night in spite of my exhaustion, of disjointed limbs and broken necks and blood splattered everywhere.

  Suppressing a shudder, I dragged a hand through my hair, realising belatedly that Jed had placed a blanket over me when I
'd fallen asleep last night on the couch. "Okay, deep breaths," I murmured to myself, clutching the blanket tightly to my chest.

  I was still struggling to catch my breath when Jed came running down the stairs, his dark hair wet and matted to his forehead like he'd just come out of the shower. And my suspicions weren't wrong, as he stepped into the living room and the glimmer of sunlight streaming in through the curtains caught him, my throat went dry as I saw the beads of water on his tanned body, his grey sweatpants riding so low on his hips that I could see the dusty trail of hair taper down and disappear beneath his pants.

  It was clear that he'd heard me from upstairs, and he was entirely oblivious to the way I was staring at him, watching me with barely-concealed worry. I blushed and shook my head. "Bad dream," I managed a weak smile and climbed up, setting unsteady feet down on the floor. "I'm okay now."

  He nodded unsurely, eyes following me as I sauntered into the kitchen, filling the kettle and setting it on the stove to boil. After pushing aside the curtains and unlocking the latch on the window, I stretched and yawned, basking in the warm glow of the sunlight streaming through. It was nice, feeling sunlight on my skin after spending time locked up in dark places.

  When I turned, I realised that Jed was watching me as he leaned against the doorway, the expression on his face soft. He caught my gaze and flushed, straightening up quickly. I smiled warmly at him and stepped over to the fridge, peering inside to get a better look at the ingredients.

  "You know how to make pancakes?" I asked, glancing at him over my shoulder.

  When he shook his head, I grabbed several ingredients from the fridge – eggs, milk, butter – and set them down on the counter, before going through the other shelves to retrieve the rest of the condiments necessary.

  "Well, we're making pancakes," I said brightly. "We need some normality after going through hell and back. And you can use this." I grabbed my cookbook off the shelf and flipped through it, showing him the post-it note on the side of one of the pages. "I like tweaking recipes. You can follow this and I'll come help you with the rest when I'm done freshening up, okay?"

  He looked so uncertain that I couldn't help but laugh.

  Pushing the cookbook towards him, I grinned. "I won't be long," I promised, making my way out of the kitchen and heading upstairs.

  It took me a good fifteen minutes to change, freshen up and head downstairs again. But it seemed like a hurricane had swept through the kitchen during my absence. Jed had pulled on a jacket and left it unzipped as usual, but I didn't think that there was a spot on his jacket that wasn't covered with flour.

  I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, but couldn't quite suppress it for long. Jed turned around, biting his lip as an apologetic look slipped across his face and he quickly stepped away from the counter.

  "It's alright." I chuckled, taking the bowl from him and checking the batter. It didn't seem half bad, just messy and I wasn't about to waste his efforts. So we'd have less than perfect pancakes. Didn't mean it was inedible. "This would do. Let's work from here."

  We worked in silence for awhile, only interspersed by my occasional directions which he seemed to take to heart. It wasn't something I got caught up in, but I couldn't help feeling acutely aware of him – whenever he sidestepped me in the kitchen or whenever we were standing side by side in front of the stove. We weren't even touching but he seemed to infiltrate all my senses until he was all I knew.

  I knew what it was. Lorraine was right. This wasn't a werewolf thing because I was perfectly human. And when a human girl felt like this about a guy – well, you could say that she was pretty crazy about him.

  I smiled to myself at the thought of that and drizzled a spoonful of batter onto the pan, humming some arbitrary song that was stuck on my mind while Jed listened. When the batter was done and bubbles appeared on the first pancake, I shot him a sideway glance. "Want to try flipping?"

  His eyes widened and he stared at the pan like it was some sort of alien creature.

  I laughed and grabbed the spatula to loosen the pancake from the base of the pan. "It's easy. Here – " Holding the handle steadily, I flipped it once. Twice. Thrice. Slowing down so he could see the movements of my hand. Then I handed the pan to him. "Now you try."

  That first pancake flew right out of the window.

  I was doubling over in laughter before I knew it, and Jed's lips were twitching in amusement as he hastily set the empty pan back down on the stove. But as he watched me, he seemed to relax, a tiny smile flitting across his face that just about stole my breath. Because he hadn't ever smiled before, and it was an action so uncertain, so unfamiliar that it seemed like he could barely remember how to. But at the same time, it was such a shy, honest gesture that it made something in my chest flutter at seeing him look this relaxed and, well, happy.

  I smiled softly at him and poured another generous spoonful of pancake batter onto the pan. "You can have another go," I told him, "I'm going to locate that stray."

  Heading out of the house, I picked my way through the yard in search for the pancake. I had finally located it near one of the bushes when I heard a familiar voice some distance away from me.

  "Luna." Lance was grinning widely as he and Adrian sauntered over. "You're looking better. That's good."

  "Thank you." I smiled sunnily at them and picked my way through the bushes again. "What're you two doing here?"

  "Salt & Pepper's closed today," Lance grumbled, even though his eyes seemed to latch eagerly on the pancake in my hand. "Lorraine's still busy looking after Bianca and we figured we had a better chance of getting food here – what are you doing?" He looked genuinely appalled when I chucked the pancake into the trash-bin, and quickly strode over, staring mournfully at the pancake sitting at the bottom of the bin. "Why would you do that?"

  "It's soiled." I eyed him strangely, as Adrian rolled his eyes at Lance's antics. "You werewolves seriously eat food that's been dirtied?"

  "No, just him," Adrian deadpanned, before sniffing the air curiously. "Did you leave the oven on?"

  "No, I – "

  My eyes widened and I quickly flung open the front door, rushing into the house. The sight in the kitchen that greeted me was almost comical. Jed was staring wildly at the burnt pancake in the pan, chucking the pan into the sink and flipping on the tap. But the moment the water hit the hot surface, it made a frightful sizzling noise and he quickly stepped back.

  "Wow." Lance's voice was amused as he and Adrian came up behind me. "That's, um, interesting. You're holding a cooking class here or something?"

  "No, we're just making breakfast," I returned mildly, smiling at Jed to ease his worries and throwing out the burnt pancake, even as Adrian made another noise of protest behind us.

  Distractedly, Jed tried scrubbing off the flour stains on his jacket, but when it didn't seem to make a difference, he began to pull it off, entirely oblivious to the way I promptly flushed and started to rinse the pan with newfound vigour.

  "Alpha, you know, normally I don't step out of line," quipped Adrian, leaning against the counter and watching us with a gleam in his eye. "But I gotta say, this really looks like the beginning of a porno."

  "Pancakes at Quinn's," Lance added, looking entirely entertained when I began to flush, "tagline: butter me good."

  Jed stopped and shot me a quick glance, eyes widening when he saw my flushed cheeks. He turned back to his friends with a stony glare. There was a beat, and then Adrian let out an exaggerated sigh and pushed himself off the counter.

  "Okay, okay, no one else is supposed to be in your house other than Luna, we get it," he mumbled, reluctantly removing himself and Lance from the kitchen and heading towards the front door.

  "Wait." I stopped them, casting a quick glance at the bowl of batter sitting on the counter, before looking over at Adrian and Lance. "If you come back in twenty minutes, I'll have a fresh batch ready for you."

  The both of them brightened. "Sweet," Lance readily agreed and head
ed out of the house with Adrian, shutting the door behind them.

  I looked at Jed, who'd by now pulled on his jacket again, and laughed. "So things didn't go too well without my supervision, huh?" He bit his lip and my smile widened. "It's okay, we can try again."

  So we started afresh and within fifteen minutes, had a fresh batch of pancakes stacked and ready to deliver. Once I was certain that Jed wouldn't overcook the pancakes, I left him by the stove for awhile and stepped out of the house, a tray of pancakes and strawberries in my hands. To my surprise, Adrian and Lance were seated on the steps of the front porch. Spike was with them now, and he cheerfully greeted me, receiving the tray from me with enthusiasm.

  Leaving the three of them to fight over the pancakes outside, I headed back into the house. Jed was already setting the table, and he shot me a look of surprise when I sat down.

  I blinked. "What? Oh – " My eyes widened in realisation when he glanced over at the front door, then back at me again. " – you thought I'd be eating outside with them?"

  He shrugged, but I didn't miss the way he seemed to deflate, sitting down on his chair with an almost pensive look on his face.

  "No, I like it in here. Besides, I know you feel."

  I reached into the pocket of my shorts and pulled out the paper napkin I'd taken from my dresser earlier. Setting it in front of him, I watched his eyes widen as he stared at the single word he'd scrawled on the napkin just several days ago. The word 'you' had not faded; the message still as poignant as when I first saw it. He looked up, his eyes meeting my gaze squarely and I smiled.

  "I feel the same way too."