by Noelle N
"So that's why you killed him," I breathed, the last piece finally clicking back into place. "That's why you wanted to take over Titan."
Jed nodded, bracing one arm on the table as he continued to write:
I wanted to leave but couldn't, not when Titan was still in the hands of a sadistic man who raped and killed for fun. And I couldn't let Malthus continue with these twisted games either. To become an Alpha, the pack has to be handed to you or won from the previous Alpha. So in the years that followed, I taught myself how to fight. How to kill –
He paused, his eyes flickering up to mine unsurely. I blinked. It almost seemed like he was waiting for me to veer away from him in repulsion once again, but the mere idea of that was ridiculous. Yes – killing was wrong. But killing monsters?
How could you possibly keep a perfect moral compass in the face of monsters?
When I didn't react, a fleeting look of surprise glimpsed his face for a moment before he looked back down and continued to write.
– and how to numb myself to anything and everything when killing. Battling both Claudius and Malthus seemed like an impossible feat; but when I was twenty, Malthus disappeared. We received word that one of the other packs, Aitne, had killed him. Everyone thought he was dead. Titan razed Aitne to the ground after that.
The goal in the following years seemed clearer then; the only monster I had to defeat was Claudius. I kept training, kept resisting, kept fighting – to the point where I knew that I was stronger than him. I knew that I could kill him. It was so easy. But I was just so terrified every time I came face to face with him.
Until one night, when he came into my room and tried to force himself on me again. And I was about to do the same thing I always did – fight him until he'd finally give up and realise that there were easier targets out there. But that night, he was sober. He looked me in the eyes and said, "You're never going to stop fighting me, are you? Just like your mother used to do until I finally won. Too bad she was dead by then and couldn't participate in my victory."
Something in me just snapped and then I wasn't terrified anymore. I trailed him out into town and cornered him in an alley. Forced him to shift, all the while knowing that there wasn't a sliver of a chance he was coming out alive in that fight.
That was also the night he met me. I'd already figured a long time ago that Jed was an enigma, a complicated puzzle you couldn't help but want to figure out. And he had always been more than willing to let me know everything he had to offer me, if only at his own pace.
His revelation put a whole new perspective on that night we first met; and if I had been frightened of him then, I wasn't now. Because he was ridding the world of monsters, not being one.
I was so consumed with thoughts of the night we first met that I didn't catch him falter at first. But then he was gripping the pen tightly, nails digging into his palms as he continued, his writing haphazard and somewhat desperate now –
I'm so sorry. I know that I'm broken. I've been damaged by Claudius and Malthus – more times than I can count, more times than I can remember. I'm the farthest thing from the kind of man you deserve and I would understand perfectly if you stepped out of that door right now and never wanted to –
He stopped when I reached over and caught the tip of the pen, preventing him from writing another word. His jaw was clenched and when he darted his eyes up to meet mine, the hurt in them was almost physically painful. Shifting closer to him so that the table was no longer separating us, I gently pried to pen from his grasp and set it aside, before bringing his palm up so that it was resting against my cheek. I hadn't even realised that I'd been crying until he carefully brushed his thumb gently across my skin, his other hand reaching up to do the same to my other cheek.
"Never, ever think that I would want to leave you," I told him quietly, my voice so soft it was almost a whisper. "I was scared at first, but all I needed was answers. And now that I have that, I'm never leaving you for as long as you'll have me."
The hurt in his eyes faded just as quickly as his expression softened. There was something infinitely precious about the way he was looking at me – like time, space, everything peripheral in every dimension had all elapsed and ceased. In his eyes, in his world, I was the only person who existed and I was the only thing that mattered.
And when he slowly lowered his head to kiss me, I met him halfway. His lips were a gentle pressure on the corner of mine for just a fleeting second, before he caught my bottom lip between both of his, tilting his head in the perfect angle so that he could kiss me with more confidence this time. It wasn't like the first unexpected feather-light kiss we shared, or the second time he kissed me in a manner that was oddly curious.
This was – drowning.
That was the only way I could describe it. Perhaps it was the heart-breaking revelation that he'd just shared with me, or the fact that he could feel the pain I felt for him. But whatever the case was, he seemed determined to assure me that he was alright, that we were alright, as he framed my face gently within his palms in a way that made me feel entirely fragile, even though I knew that I was perfectly safe with him.
The pressure of his lips on mine was focused but sent a fresh wave of desire sweeping through me each time he slanted his lips across mine, or nipped at my bottom lip in a way that made my head spin. I let out a soft whimper when I felt the hot, wet slide of his tongue against my lips; hesitant in a way that was purely him. It was everything I could do to keep my hands fisted by my sides – as much as I yearned to touch him, the most rational part of me was more than willing to let him have the reins on this kiss too.
A quiet, almost possessive growl ripped from the back of his throat when I easily let him in, like the way I yielded to him so swiftly pleased him to no end. And then he was kissing me deeply, familiarising himself with every dip and contour of my mouth, each delicious slide of his tongue against mine sending my heart-rate kicking up a notch, until I was nothing but mindless with his heated kisses, thinking of nothing else but him.
When he finally pulled away, his irises were almost bordering on obsidian but the expression on his face was soft. He brushed his thumb against my cheek again; his eyes crinkling in the corners with evident satisfaction when he realised that I was no longer crying.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
For a few moments, I was confused as to what he was thanking me for – for the kiss? For listening to him? For not leaving him?
But then I realised it didn't matter, especially when he leaned in to press his lips gently against my forehead. It was an action that came as a pleasant surprise to me, but it was impossible to stop the delicious shiver that raced down my spine when he let his mouth linger on my skin, the heat of his lips like fire branding me as his.
* * *
Everything was clearer with Jed's revelation.
But while the pieces had fallen into place, finding out that the Alpha of Prometheus was Jed's brother somehow made everything more real, more dangerous. It was natural to fear the unknown, but sometimes, the most terrifying things were the ones you already knew.
The couch was empty when I woke up the next morning. Blinking blearily and trying to tame my frizzy hair, I pulled myself out of bed and headed into the bathroom, passing Jed who was in the kitchen on the way over. He glanced over at me but I simply waved him off, murmuring, "Morning breath. Don't ever come within three feet of me this time of day, given your heightened Alpha senses and all."
I didn't know what force on earth possessed me to reveal this embarrassing but true detail about me; but then I figured that if Jed could share his history with me, then what was a little morning breath compared to everything he had to go through?
His lips twitched in amusement, even though the expression on his face was soft as he watched me stumble into the bathroom. After freshening up and taking a pleasant, warm shower, I twisted my damp hair into a loose braid over my shoulder and headed back out. Jed was leaning against the table, his head ben
t in deep concentration, but it wasn't until I edged nearer that I realised he was entirely focused on spreading butter on croissants.
Stifling a smile, I sidled closer to him and held out a hand to help, but he simply shook his head and continued buttering the croissant carefully. "Room service?" I asked curiously, and he nodded. "How did you manage to order without speaking? Mind-link?"
Setting the knife down, he reached for his cell on the table and swiped quickly across the screen. After scrolling through several texts, he paused at one sent to an unknown number. The message below described our breakfast order in full.
"Oh," I blinked. It suddenly dawned on me that texting was the only way Jed could communicate with the hotel staff without speaking. After all, even though several of the staff who worked here were werewolves, they belonged to Callisto. And mind-linking only worked within members of the same pack. "That was – unexpectedly easy. You know, after learning about mind-linking, texting just seems so…human."
Jed's lips tilted up in a fleeting smile before he lowered his head again, arranging the croissant neatly beside the scrambled eggs and bacon, before pushing the plate towards me. The table was small enough that despite sitting opposite him, the proximity between us seemed strangely and alluringly intimate. My knee unintentionally collided into his when I shifted in my seat, and I glanced up quickly, wondering if he'd frozen up from the unexpected contact.
He hadn't. Apart from the cursory glance he gave me, and a quick nudge of the small platter of jam in my direction, he continued eating quietly, nothing but the sounds of utensils scraping against porcelain in the soft silence.
"Hey, Jed?" I asked after awhile, when I could no longer keep my curiosity at bay. He looked up questioningly and I offered him an apologetic smile. The topic I was about to bring up wasn't ideal, and was most likely going to ruin both our moods, but it had been one that I couldn't quite shake aside. "Sorry to ruin breakfast," I started self-deprecatingly, "but I have to ask – what do you think Malthus wants with you now?" He frowned and I hastened to add, "is it revenge for Claudius's death? Control over Titan again? Or is this just a personal vendetta against you?"
He hesitated. Setting down fork and knife, he picked up his cell and typed a quick reply in:
Might be all three.
"In that case – you're not safe, and neither is Titan," I hypothesised, biting my lip worriedly as I gazed up at him. Claudius's reign was over and Jed had gotten rid of that monster from his past. But Malthus's modus operandi was still in full force.
Jed nodded and continued typing, his thumbs tapping swiftly across the screen of his cell, his actions so fluid it was almost beautiful to watch.
That's why I'm heading back. The perimeters are secure now. You can follow me back if you want; or I could arrange an alternative place for you to
But I'd caught his fingers in a light grip before he could finish the sentence. "This isn't an either-or option. I stayed in this hotel because you knew we'd be safer here. But now that Titan's safe enough for you to head back, I'm going with you."
Uncertainty still clouded his expression, even as he gave my hand a fleeting squeeze, shifting his palm up slightly so that our fingers were loosely interlaced. He seemed just as reluctant to let me go as I was reluctant to leave him; but I knew he'd insist on it if my safety was in question.
"When I met you, you brought me out of your world and into yours," I added softly. "Good or bad, I'm a part of it now. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
It was very worth it to see the hesitation fade just as quickly from his face, the worry that creased his forehead dissipate as the green in his irises grew bright again, and his fingers tightening on mine for a moment or two.
"Good." I smiled when he nodded in agreement, before giving into my impulses. The distance between us wasn't too far since I was leaning across the table, so I simply closed the remaining few inches and pressed my lips against his.
His lips were warm, the sudden hitch of his breath audible in the silence. Taken completely by surprise, Jed stilled against me but I drew away before he could react. But the brief contact between us was sufficient to send my head spinning and heart racing nonetheless, and I suspected that I'd always be this way around him.
Pulling back, I saw the dazed but satisfied expression on his face. My smile widened and I locked my fingers around his. "Let's go back to Titan."
* * *
Leaving the hotel with Jed gave me a rush of déjà vu. For a moment, I was reminded of the time he went back with me to my apartment and we had to make a speedy escape because Prometheus was hot on our tails.
This time was no different. Jed was entirely focused; his senses alert and adamant on leaving no trace behind. We packed quietly and quickly, and I was more than amused to see him stuff his clothes haphazardly into his bag. For all his excellent organisational skills, he could certainly make messes if he wanted to.
He finished packing long before I did, and set his bag down by the doorway, before heading over to me. I threw him an apologetic glance over my shoulder and pushed down the clothes in my bag, because the zip just wouldn't pull.
"It's like a curse, I swear," I muttered in frustration, pushing my hair out of my face and yanking on the zip again. "Everything fits fine when you pack the first time, but when you're repacking it all goes to pieces."
Amused, Jed gently eased my bag away from me and inspected the zip. After several sharp yanks, he managed to loosen whatever thread of fabric it was caught on and the zip slid across smoothly.
My mouth fell open. "How'd you do that?" I asked, impressed, and held out a hand for my bag. Instead, he simply swung the strap across his shoulder, before heading to the doorway to pick up his own bag.
Then he was pulling out his phone to type a swift reply to me –
magic.
"No way, you're teleki – " My eyes narrowed when I caught the glimmer of mischief in his eyes, his lips twitching as he gazed at me in barely-concealed mirth. "I cannot believe you did that! Things have been so bizarre that hardly anything ever fazes me anymore, and I was this close to believing you!"
To my surprise, he let out a quiet laugh, the sound so pleasant and unexpected that I never wanted to unhear it. He hardly ever smiled, almost never laughed; and it seemed that all the harsh circumstances in his life so far had taken those two simple things away from him altogether. It was impossible to stay mad at him when he looked like this – eyes bright, posture relaxed and his lips tilted up in a lethal smirk that threatened to rip my heart apart only to mend the frayed fissures back just as rapidly.
He shook his head apologetically, pressing his lips in a tight line as he fought the urge to smile and ushered me out of the room. I was surprised when, instead of taking the key card, he left it in the lock. But I didn't question it and simply followed him, his unusual method of leaving making more sense once he led me towards the stairwell instead of using the elevators.
Down the stairwell we went, until we were somewhere in a back alley away from the main street. Once there, Jed glanced around sharply before pulling me towards a smaller alcove, where he pulled out several sheets of paper, along with a lighter. A second glance made me realise that these were the notes he'd written for me the night before. I didn't question his motives for wanting to burn them. I'd burn them too if I had a history like that.
So I stayed silent and watched him light the papers one by one, finding it impossible to take my eyes off him at that moment. Not that looking at him didn't make me want to catch my breath – it always did; but this was something new. The green in his eyes was infinitely bright as he stared at the fire with an impassive expression on his face; the arbitrary flicker of flames highlighting his angular, strong features in undulating shades of light and dark. It was, I thought, a juxtaposition that represented him perfectly.
He noticed me watching him after awhile, and I couldn't help but blush at having been caught staring. "Just waiting to see if you're a pyrokinetic too," I
murmured as an arbitrary joke, albeit a weak one, because my thoughts had all but engulfed me like the flames had the papers, and how could I explain how I felt to him? That, despite his dark past that he'd revealed to me the night before, he was still – well, light? Still light and still him and still the same man I was in love with?
Oblivious to my thoughts, he simply shot me an amused look before brushing his thumb over the open flame in an action so swift I barely caught it. The flame muted for a second or two, then blazed on like nothing had happened. He moved to do it again and I quickly placed a hand on his arm, knowing that when it came to things like these, he was just trying to show off like most men would do when challenged.
"Don't do that!" I told him, trying but failing to express my disapproval when his lips lifted in a crooked smile that was almost a hint of a smirk. After a quick glance around, I looked back to see him still burning the rest of the papers, and I couldn't help but break the silence again. "You know what this place reminds me of?"
He arched an eyebrow at me and waited.
"That time – when we were escaping from my apartment, and you backed me into a tiny place that looked a lot like this."
His irises immediately darkened to a shade of alluring green, and I knew at once that he remembered. Perfectly. His eyes flickered momentarily to my lips and I felt a shiver race through me when I saw the intensity in his gaze. Like I was the centre of his world and it was the kind of intensity I never wanted to escape from.
Then he suddenly flinched, jerking his hand aside and it wasn't until I caught the searing red scarring his fingertips that I realised he'd accidentally burnt his hand in the distraction. Honestly, it was never my intention to become that kind of distraction that would result in him actually burning himself.
