by Cara Nelson
My two best advisors, Trinity and Jessie, were the ones I had to turn to. Actually, it was Jessie. She was the master of affairs of the heart and would actually give my plight some serious attention. Trinity would say, “Stop overthinking the situation and enjoy the ride, sista’!” I needed more.
We were back in the States. That made it easier to call everyone and communicate regularly with those I wanted to. I walked out to the veranda of the Radisson we were staying at in Miami and stared out at the Atlantic Ocean as the phone rang.
“Brynn, hey.”
“Hi, Jes. You got a minute?”
“I was just on my way to the gym. It can wait, though. What’s up?”
“I’m in a dilemma.”
“What happened?”
“It’s still in my mind,” I said.
“One of those. I’m guessing that the name Gauge will come up in this conversation.”
“You guessed right.”
“Is everything going good?”
“Really good, which, oddly enough, is the problem.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Jes, there are only three weeks left of this assignment and then it’s done. I’ll be moving to LA, and Gauge will either be touring or at his apartment in NY.”
“And you don’t know what that’ll mean for you two?”
“Bingo.”
“Well, did you ask him? Have you discussed anything?”
“I’m too chicken to bring it up. It’s pathetic, but I just can’t do it.”
“Why?”
“No clue.”
“Maybe,” Jessie began, “you can’t bring it up because it means something to you; something more than just a casual relationship.”
“I struggle with bringing it up when I don’t see the logistics working in our favor, I guess. The stats aren’t good when it comes to long distance relationships; add a rock star into the equation, and I’m pretty sure the stats are even suckier.”
“Well, would you like to have more of a relationship with him?” Jessie asked.
I felt like I’d gotten punched in the stomach. Part of me said “yes”. The other part of me was very aware that I’d worked hard, and my future plans hadn’t involved a serious relationship. On the other hand, I wasn’t about to be the West Coast booty call for Gauge, either.
“Brynn, that question is not complicated. Either you want more or you don’t.”
“I, uh, I think I do,” I mumbled.
“Look, it’ll all fall into place if it’s supposed to happen. If you like the guy and he likes you, you’ll figure it out because you want to. If not, well, you’ve made a great friend, right?”
The thought of moving Gauge from lover to friend was not appealing. “I suppose,” I finally conceded.
Chapter Fifteen:
Ocean Adventures
I was so excited to get to the beach and go snorkeling for the first time ever. I’d always wanted to do it, but up until today, there hadn’t been time.
We were in the rental car, a black Mustang convertible, going down the winding road that led from Miami to Vista Park Reef. Gauge took one hand off the steering wheel and reached over to take my hand, squeezing it affectionately. It was brief but it was energizing. This was going to be a hell of a great day. I could just feel it.
“We’re not going to see any sharks, right?” I asked.
“Well, I called them ahead of time and told them to stay on the down low,” Gauge replied.
“Real funny, you smartass.” I gave him a little slug in the arm, then added, “I think I prefer the quiet you to the smartass.”
We continued on our half-hour drive. I breathed in the salty air and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. I really needed to consider going to a tropical environment to live. I loved it. Miami wasn’t necessarily the tropics, but it wasn’t too far away from them, either.
“It’s over here,” Gauge said, veering into a parking lot that was about half full. I looked out at the water. The ocean was calm near the shore, but near the horizon, there were small white caps bobbing like sailboats.
“So beautiful,” I said, swinging open the car door and stepping out. We popped open the trunk to get our snorkeling gear, suntan lotion, and a few other essentials. I was wearing my black bikini with a sheer black cover-up over it and had on my strappy sandals.
I watched with appreciation as Gauge took his t-shirt off, revealing his chest. I stared at his elegant muscles and the tattoos that seemed to move as he flexed. I might have drooled a little bit. No matter how often I saw them, his gorgeous abs never lost their electric effect on me. Another car pulled up next to ours. Two guys and two girls got out, all of them around eighteen.
“Holy shit, man, that’s Gauge Bronson,” one of the guys said. The two girls screeched and leaned together, looking and whispering. Gauge, that turkey, didn’t turn around to acknowledge them, leaving me to stare at them alone.
I waved, and they looked at me. Gauge stared at me with his lips halfcocked into a grin. “Aren’t you going to at least turn around?” He shook his head no and continued to get ready.
We put lotion on and I turned around for Gauge to put it on my back. One of the girls watching gave a loud whisper, “She’s so lucky. OMG! I want him to do that to me.”
The one guy that was with her, her boyfriend maybe, wasn’t a fan. He snapped, “Let’s get going so we don’t miss the best tide.” They slid on their wet suits, one guy took down the surfboards from their roof rack, and they were off.
I turned to Gauge. “You enjoyed that entirely too much.”
“It’s what most of them expect.”
“Still.”
“Surely you have to be getting used to that kind of thing by now,” Gauge said.
I smiled. We were together enough that speculation was out there about us. The emails, texts, and calls were coming to me from all angles, including the managers at The Rift, who had given cautious reminders of my professional role this summer. I’d blown it off for the most part, focusing on the fact that we had no discussion about our future as anything up to this point.
“What’s wrong?” Gauge leaned in and looked at me. His face was so serious. He had slight crinkles around the corners of his eyes, making him look more wise and insightful than I wanted him to be at that moment.
“Oh, nothing. Just got lost in a thought,” I said. I smiled and leaned down to take my sandals off, giving me a moment to recapture the moment I was in. That’s all that matters right now, I reminded myself. I refused to give an invitation to my pain in the ass subconscious to ruin my moment—my amazing adventure.
I got back up and rebounded masterfully, if I say so myself. “Give me some guidance and advice on the way down to the water.”
“First, don’t swallow the salt water. It doesn’t taste good.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re brilliant…it’s truly mind-blowing.”
“Now who’s the smart ass?”
“You taught me,” I replied playfully. I loved our banter, that feeling that there was no one else in the world that mattered to us. We just wanted a great day and to experience something pretty cool. So ideal.
We walked into the water. The fins suited my clumsiness rather well. I tripped about two times until I got into deep enough water where I could try and swim like a fish, using the snorkel as my gills. The massive goggles revealed all the ocean had to offer.
At first, it was hard to see, and I was wondering what the fun could possibly be in snorkeling. It was disappointing.
“I can’t see anything,” I said to Gauge when we popped our heads up from the ocean.
“Give it time. We’re going that way, and you’ll get to see plenty, Brynn.”
We made our way over to where he pointed. It immediately felt like an entirely different world. A barrier reef made the water calmer. There was no silt swirling through the waves, making it look cloudy brown. It was crystal clear, blue water.
Moving around, we stayed close to each ot
her and began to look at what life was like under the sea. I saw yellow fish with blue stripes darting around. There were spotted puffy fish down by the ocean’s floor, blowing little jets of water out, too. I laughed—they were adorable. What wasn’t funny was when I accidentally took in a big mouthful of that salty water.
I lifted my head up and began to cough and sputter, my eyes watering as I treaded.
“You okay?” Gauge asked, rubbing my back. The gesture was so sweet to me, reminding me of what my mom used to do when I had a bad cough. She’d rub my back over and over, calming me down until I fell asleep. The sweet memory brought a smile to my face. I loved that it was associated with Gauge now, too.
“I’m fine. I should have taken your advice about now swallowing the water,” I said. I looked at him, leaned in, and tried to give him a kiss. Our goggles collided and I started laughing.
“Why don’t we go over there?” Gauge asked, pointing to a small set of rocks and a flat plane of sand.
We swam over and climbed up on the rocks. I breathed in, surprised at how much physical work snorkeling could be. Gauge reached over and lifted my goggles off my face, sliding them up to my head. Then he did the same. I smiled. “Let’s try this again,” I said. I leaned in and kissed him, a bit surprised by the saltiness of his lips.
His hands wrapped around my waist. I felt a soft tickle on my back as the ties that held my top on were slowly released, leaving my swimsuit top to fall down to my waist. He grabbed it and set it to the side carefully, making sure it was on a higher rock. He whispered in my ear, “While I’d enjoy it, I am guessing you don’t want the current to take your top.”
He was guessing right. Slowly leaning me back, the sandbar shifted comfortably under us. Gauge’s lips started to travel my body, kissing me slowly and methodically, playing my body like it was an acoustic ballad on his guitar. His lips, along with the breeze and the chilly splashes of bits of ocean water, thrilled and overwhelmed me. It was a perfect symphony of sensations.
From there, I continued to enjoy Gauge’s touch. My response to it was so different out there in the ocean. It was a sanctuary and I was free to enjoy every bit of him, knowing that no one could interrupt us. There were no phones, no civilization. There was only us. I felt like a wild thing, and I wanted to thrash against him, but the rocks and sand jabbed me, reminding me not to get too carried away. The waves lapping against them whispered, “Move slowly and enjoy the moment.”
And so Gauge and I did, repeatedly. Finally, we lay exhausted, naked as could be, touching each other and talking softly. I didn’t want the moment to end and I sensed he felt the same way.
“I love snorkeling. Are all your adventures like this?” I asked, tracing my finger along one of his tattoos, watching how it left a small trail of goose bumps on his skin.
“No, you’ve managed to take it to the next level, just like you seem to do with everything.”
I smiled. I liked the way that sounded. For the most part, Gauge never gave direct compliments. If you really listened to him, which I always wanted to do, you could draw them from his words.
“This is fantastic,” I sighed.
“Well, we should get going. I’m getting hungry,” Gauge said.
I was, too, but I’d take another few hours of our intimate paradise over sitting in a restaurant today.
I looked out and saw a small black dot bobbling in the distance. “It’s just as well, I guess. I see a snorkeler out there.” We quickly got dressed, laughing about it like two teenagers.
We took off again and I watched all the fish until the water turned murky. Then we were back at the beach and walking toward the Mustang, ready to head back to Miami for whatever awaited us. On the ride, I couldn’t stop talking about the entire snorkeling experience. “Those fish are so amazing. I wonder what they all are.”
“Which ones?” Gauge asked.
I described them, briefly and he told me the yellow fish were blue-striped grunts and the spotted fish were known as trunkfish. “How do you know all those fish types?” I asked.
“Visiting the occasional aquarium on tour. I try to do different things and remember that there’s more to this world than just concerts and touring.”
“That’s cool.”
I reached over and put my hand over Gauge’s, we made our way back to the hotel. I felt like I’d fallen straight off a postcard paradise. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
Chapter Sixteen:
Only Me
After enjoying a rare sound night’s sleep, where I actually got eight-plus hours of zzz’s, I woke up early and energized. I glanced over at Gauge, who was still sleeping, and entertained nestling in next to him and taking advantage of a lazy morning. Well, it didn’t work.
I slipped out of bed and walked over to the window. It was a beautiful day and I wanted to experience it. I decided to take a run on the beach. I tiptoed to my suitcase and pulled out my running shorts and a sports bra, plus a tank to put over the top of it. As quietly as possible, I got dressed.
Once I was on the beach, I stretched out a bit and then took off running, seeing footprints from early morning joggers. The tide hadn’t had a chance to wash away evidence of their presence yet. The sun was bright orange. I took off running toward it, having to squint a bit. It wasn’t the ideal time to think about how I should have brought my shades. “There’s no turning back now,” I said. I took off running, going at a slow, steady pace. This made for the third run I’d partaken in since taking the assignment. Not nearly enough.
Running in the sand was fun, but I couldn’t stand having my shoes between me and the squishy, chilly, and wet sand. I took them off and set them on a rock, deciding that I’d claim them on my return.
It was amazing and I found myself running quickly, feeling ridiculously happy. I even had a goofy grin as I thought of the day before. That experience with Gauge had been my favorite that we’d had to date. Everything about it was perfect. It almost seemed I’d been wrong to disregard those wildly romantic notions that so many women clung to. Wildly romantic things were actually awesome.
I saw a sign that read: Warning, crabs in this area along the beach and quickly turned around. I’d pass on that adventure.
Up ahead, I noticed my running shoes and started to slow down a bit. A bird squawked and I looked up. A sharp pain shot through my foot at the same time. I looked down and saw a pointy tail underneath my foot. I lifted it up and gasped. “Shit!” I’d stepped on a scorpion. My foot was on fire and stinging.
Hobbling along, I tried to go toward my shoes as quickly as I could so I could get back to the hotel and Google how to remove a scorpion stinger. Suddenly. crabs didn’t seem like a big deal. I sat down on the sand and started to put on my shoes. My foot began to swell up.
I looked around, hoping I’d see someone that I could ask about scorpions. The beach was now abandoned, no one in sight. Breathing in and getting back up, I grabbed my shoes and began to walk awkwardly back toward the hotel.
Everything started to get blurry. I felt sweat starting to drip down my forehead. It wasn’t from the workout, either. I knew I was in trouble. I stared ahead, keeping my focus on the hotel as much as possible, and kept breathing in, hoping the extra oxygen intake would keep me alert enough to get to safety. My foot was pure agony. I could barely feel my toes.
My knees gave out on me, and my hands fell forward to stop my fall. I felt knots in my stomach and bit my lip, my eyes stinging from the tears I was trying to prevent from falling. It wasn’t the time to be a baby. Then my arms gave out. I felt my cheek on the cold sand as I faded away.
I blinked, my eyes as sore as if I’d gotten sand between the lid and cornea. I tried to lick my lips, but my mouth was dry as the Sahara.
“Brynn, Brynn,” a voice said softly, compassionately.
I turned my head and tried opening my eyes again. This time I succeeded and I Gauge’s dark brown, intense eyes staring at me. He looked so scared. What was going on?
“
Gauge?”
“Just stay quiet. I’ll let the nurse know you’re awake.” I blinked a few times and whispered, “Nurse? Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital.” Gauge pressed the button next to me.
Everything was blurry and fuzzy. I tried to process the how and why about me being in the hospital.
Before I could ask anything else, the nurse came in, peering at me. She was a full-figured black woman with a wide, friendly smile and grey hair. Just looking at her reassured me.
With a thermometer covered in a protective plastic strip in her hand, the nurse took control. “Open up, Ms. Morgan.” I obeyed. She gently placed the thermometer below my tongue, its plastic feeling like it was a glue adhesive in my pasty mouth. “99.9. It’s getting better. I’m going to call the doctor to come check on you.”
“Can I have some water?” I asked. My voice echoed in my head, and I wasn’t entirely certain I’d even spoken loud enough for anyone to hear.
She smiled. “Sure, I’ll go get that.”
“Thank you.”
She walked out of the room. I turned to Gauge. “So, how did you find me?”
“I came looking for you, thought I’d join you. I saw you get dressed into your running gear, but it looked like you wanted to be alone.”
I glanced down to my foot and saw that it was wrapped and bandaged. It was still throbbing.
“Did they get the stinger out?”
“Right away.”
“How long have I been knocked out?”
“About three hours, more or less,” Gauge said. “Now, why don’t you stop asking so many questions and relax.”
I was about to protest. I might be under the weather, but I still didn’t like being told what to do. From the look on Gauge’s face, I saw that he didn’t have any problems whatsoever telling me what to do. Interesting. An oddly annoying observation, considering the moment.
The doctor walked in, saving Gauge. She came over to me and looked at me closely. She had sharp features, like Eleanor Roosevelt, but seemed much chillier than the nurse.
