by M. Z. Kelly
Mack set his wine glass down. His gaze drifted over to the fire, staring into it for a moment. He then looked back at me. “We used to have a saying when I was a SEAL. Fight first with your heart, and if all else fails use your hands.”
“I feel like my heart isn’t getting me very far.”
“Your heart is the desire you have to do the right thing, Kate. It was given to you by your father. I think you know that. It’s why you became a cop.”
“Why do I feel like sometimes you know me better than I know myself?”
“Why do I feel like you know the truth, but sometimes hide from it?”
“I’m not sure what you mean?”
“You told me the other night that you feel like you were somehow chosen to be in this place and time to do the right thing by your father. Your heart has been speaking to you all along.”
I mulled over what he’d said for a long moment, still unsure about how to proceed—not just with the case but in my relationships. “My heart,” I said. “It’s...I’m unsure about what to do next.”
He smiled and took my hand. “I think it’s time that you let go of your heart and trust your hands. It’s time to take action and move things to a much higher level. You can’t do this alone.”
I was lost in his eyes for a moment. They were the deepest shade of blue I’d ever seen. I wanted to talk to him about our relationship, how I wanted to make things work between us, but I knew after what happened it was too soon.
“I think you’re right,” I finally said. “I know, Tom Reed, the chief of police from my last case. I also know that he’s got his hands full with everything that’s been going on lately, but I think I need to talk to him about what’s been happening.”
He nodded. “Just remember, I’m here if you need anything.” I thanked him, realizing that it was time for me to go and make some decisions.
Mack walked me to my car, took my hands, and looked into my eyes. “Not that this is goodbye, but the SEALs have another saying when it’s time to part.”
I moved closer to him as he held me against his chest.
When I finally looked up into those eyes, they seemed to transport me to another world. He stared down at me and said, “It’s a wish for safe travel and good fortune—fair winds and following seas.”
I fell against him. “Thank you for helping honor what my heart has been telling me.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
The next day I left a message with Chief Reed’s secretary, asking for him to call me. My workday was uneventful, so I took off a couple of hours early. I spent the time with a hypnotist.
“Maxine will put you under faster than a jackrabbit on a greasy griddle,” Natalie said. “I’ve heard that some people even come out of their hypnosis session with improved sex lives.”
“Now, that would be a miracle,” I told her, “considering I don’t have a sex life, lately.”
We were in Pasadena, not too far from the Rose Bowl, where Natalie’s friend, Maxine the Magnificent, lived. According to Natalie, Maxine had a Las Vegas show at one time where she called audience members on stage, hypnotized them, and made them do embarrassing things.
As we got out of the car, Natalie said, “Maxine told me that one time she had her audience believe they were all nude. People were grabbin’ coats and purses in an effort to cover their privates.”
“I’m not doing any stunts for your amusement. That includes nudity or...” I looked at Bernie. “Sorry buddy but I’m not barking like a dog, either.”
Natalie rang the doorbell and said, “Hey maybe you’ll end up goin’ into some kind of weird trance, tradin’ places with Maxine’s body, like Whoopee Goldberg did in that scene from the movie, Ghost. You can go all Whoopee on the guy who killed your dad, beat his brains in.”
“I’m leaving,” I said, as the door opened.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Maxine said, pulling me inside.
The hypnotist was obese and pushing sixty. She was a buck short of five feet tall with a high-pitched, childlike voice.
“We’re going to get rid of those demons,” Maxine warbled as we took seats in her office. “I understand that you’re trying to remember what your father’s killer looked like.”
“Yes, I was four years old when he was shot and killed. I was next to him and saw it happen, but don’t remember anything.”
Maxine’s face was solemn. “It’s all right there.” She pointed at my head. “We just have to go in and find it.”
Why did I feel like Maxine was about to perform brain surgery on me?
Natalie said, “When you’re finished with Kate, I’d like to be put under also. I’m wonderin’ if you can give me one of them post-hypnotic suggestions.”
“Nudity or barking?” I asked.
Natalie shook her head. “I was hopin’ for a flamin’ hot orgasm; maybe you could have it kick in tonight ‘round midnight.”
Maxine patted Natalie’s hand. “That shouldn’t be a problem, dear.” She turned to me. “How about you, would you like a post-hypnotic orgasm?”
I declined the offer and Maxine began the session by having me close my eyes and do some deep breathing. She then had me focus on my breath. Even though the hypnotist had a little girl voice, it had a calming effect on me.
A few minutes later, Maxine ran her hand from the top of my head down my face and announced that I was asleep. My eyes fluttered but remained closed. I could still hear her voice, but was completely relaxed. I felt like I was on the verge of falling sleep.
“Why don’t you give her a suggestion and make her take her bra off when we get in the car,” I heard Natalie say.
Maxine shushed Natalie and said to me, “I’m going to count backward from ten to one. When I reach the number one, you will be back in time. You will be a child again, a girl who is four years old. It will be the day your father was killed.”
As the countdown began, I found my mind traveling back in time, like a movie reel running in reverse. I saw myself, first in early adulthood, then my college years, followed by some images from high school, and then elementary school. The images began to slow down as time reversed until a moment in time was frozen. I saw myself as a little girl again.
“Tell me what you see,” Maxine said after completing the countdown.
I heard the excitement in my voice as I described the scene. “I see trees and grass and...there are some ponies. Daddy is taking me to ride the ponies!”
“Tell me about your father, Kate. What is he doing?”
“He’s walking beside me, holding my hand.” My little girl voice grew more excited. “I can see the ponies, they’re closer now. I tell Daddy that I want to ride the brown and white pony.”
Moments later I saw myself on the pony describing it to Maxine. “He’s not very big. His fur is soft and he smells funny. We’re going slow, around and around.”
“What is your daddy doing now?” Maxine asked.
“He’s waving to me, just like the lady.”
“Who is the lady?”
“I don’t know. She’s standing next to Daddy. Her hair is pretty and she’s wearing a blue coat. She’s smiling and waving to me now. I think...”
“What is it? What’s happening now, Kate?”
“The pony is turning. I’m looking back. Something’s different. The lady is gone.” A moment later, I heard the unhappiness in my long ago childish voice. “The ride is over. Daddy and I have to go. He says we have to hurry. I’m holding his hand now.”
“Tell me what you see next,” Maxine said.
I heard my voice grow anxious. “We’re going to the car, but there’s a man. I can see him coming toward us.” My voice was urgent now. I was on the verge of tears. “He has a gun! Daddy’s holding me close to his side. He’s saying something to the man. I’m scared.” I began sobbing.
“Stop right there,” Maxine said. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Kate. No one is going to hurt you. But I don’t want you to let go of the image of the m
an. Tell me what he looks like.”
I tried to control my emotions, my voice coming in spasms through my tears. “He’s shorter than Daddy but wider...his hair is brown, but gone on the top...his nose is kind of big.”
“What about his eyes? Tell me what color they are?”
“Brown.”
“Is there anything else you can tell me about the man?”
“I don’t like him. He’s going to hurt Daddy.” I realized that I was crying again.
“Okay, Kate, we don’t have to go any farther. We’ve seen enough. We’re going to leave your childhood behind. On the count of three you’re going to return to the present moment. You will awaken and feel completely refreshed, but you’re going to remember the man and everything about him. One...two...three.”
I opened my eyes. I took a deep breath and saw Maxine smiling at me.
Natalie came over to me as Bernie stood up and licked my hand. “Well, what do ya think, Kate?”
“I’m not sure. I remember the man, what he looked like. It seems like I’ve seen him before, but I’m not sure where.”
“Just give it some time, dear,” Maxine said. “The integration of what you’re subconscious mind holds and your present state of awareness will take time.”
Half an hour later, after Natalie was hypnotized and given her flaming orgasm post hypnotic suggestion, we headed for home.
“I can’t wait until Tex comes over after work tonight,” Natalie said. “It should be a night to remember.”
“I’m going to stop at a drugstore and pick up some earplugs,” I said. “We can also get something to eat.” I was pulling off the freeway when I saw a billboard.
“Oh my god,” I said, laughing and pointing at the advertisement. “It’s him.”
“Who? Natalie said. “What are you talkin’ about?”
“The billboard.” I pointed out the image of the actor on the billboard, still laughing. “He’s the man who shot my father.”
“What?”
“I saw the billboard on the way over to Maxine’s. I must have transferred the image, somehow believing under hypnosis that the man in the advertisement was my father’s killer.”
“Who is the bloke? I know I’ve seen him before.”
“He’s an actor. He dead now but was on several television shows and even played a mob boss at one time.” I broke into fits of laughter again, but at the same time realized the symbolism of what I’d imagined. “I almost convinced myself that my father was killed by Tony Soprano.”
***
After Natalie and I stopped for dinner, it was nearly eight by the time we got home. I’d been struggling for the past couple of days about whether to tell my roommates about the intruder. Since everyone was gathered in the family room, I made a decision to level with them. If I was in danger, potentially they were all in danger.
“I’ve got something that I’d like to talk to you all about,” I announced, as I took a seat. Bernie went over and sat in front of Prissy, hoping for some of his French fries.
“Don’t tell me,” Natalie said. “You’re pregnant with twins. The babies are due in six months and you’re givin’ ‘em crazy names like Pomegranate and Applesauce, just like the movie stars do so they’ll end up scarred for life.”
I gave her a long look. “Where do you come up with this stuff?”
“Sorry, I was just readin’ one of them movie star magazines I got at the checkout line in the grocery store.”
“Maybe she wants to tell us something ‘bout having the hots for men in rabbit suits,” Mo suggested. “Ready to come clean about your crazy fetish, Kate?”
I was about to respond when Tex said, “Actually, the paraphilia literature of our species is replete with thematic references to plushophilia. It’s really just another form of animal anthropomorphism that involves the erotic transfer of sexual arousal to creatures that are furry.”
Mo folded her arms across her body. “So she’s not a sexual weirdo after all?”
“Kate’s statistically normal although you might say that she’s doing the Big Bootie Bang Bang at the far end of your typical dance floor. At least she’s not suffering from xeronisus.”
“Say what?’
“Inability to reach orgasm. While it might take a giant, stuffed rabbit, at least she’s able to get some honey from her bunny.”
“I had an auntie with that condition,” Natalie offered. “She suffered from a dry vagina—not enough butter on the muffin.”
I couldn’t endure one more comment about my sexual health. “Stop. This is serious.”
“Maybe you could name one of the babies, Harvey,” Natalie suggested. “And when he’s older, tell him about your fetish. That should be enough to make him grow up with some serious baggage.”
“Yeah,” Mo agreed. “The kid will think he’s some kinda crazy porno Easter bunny.”
Nana Hannah did a couple of denture clicks and chimed in. “I once heard about someone using an electric toothbrush for sexual pleasure.”
“It’s important to brush after every meal,” Prissy said through his girly laugh.
“Enough,” I screamed. The room fell silent.
I heard Mo whisper to Natalie, “Guess some people are a little touchy ‘bout their furry fetishes.”
“Okay, here’s the deal,” I said, before anyone could interrupt again. “Two nights ago, while you were all performing on Hollywood Daybreak, I came home and someone was in the house. He was upstairs in the hallway. When I confronted him, he took a shot at me.”
“You’re not making this up, are you?” Mo asked, her eyes narrowing. “Maybe making stuff up goes with your freaky fetish?”
“No. I’m serious. I don’t know who the intruder was, but I’m telling you because you could all be in danger.”
“Maybe it was Clyde?” Mo suggested to Natalie.
“It wasn’t Clyde,” I said, getting increasing irritated. “It was someone who wanted to kill me.”
“I’ve got Clyde’s pistol,” Natalie said. “I can take care of business.”
“I’m getting a gun, too,” Nana offered. “I’ll bet I can still blow the balls off a mule.”
“Technically you could do that, providing your aim is precise and it was a youthful mule,” Tex said. “Most mules are castrated early in life to prevent behavioral issues associated with being male.”
“Maybe it’s not too late for your boyfriend,” Mo said, nudging Natalie.
“God, please have someone just shoot me and end my misery,” I said.
“Sorry,” Natalie said. “I only shoot strangers.”
I shook my head in disgust and turned to Nana. “I’m afraid your cats got loose when the intruder was in the house. Why do you have so many cats?”
“They’re like my children,” Nana said. “They keep me company.”
“And you know what they say,” Prissy added. “You can never have too much pussy.”
That brought guffaws from the others. Prissy said something about feline parades and then Tex told us he was going to see about developing an energy field around the house to keep out intruders and men in furry suits.
That was the final straw. I was either going to start screaming or shooting, so instead, I headed for the bedroom.
Behind me I heard Mo whisper, “Maybe she’s losing it. First there’s the rabbit sex, now the nightmares about being shot at. We better watch ourselves ‘round her.”
While I was reading in bed and trying to forget my sorry life, my phone rang. It was Charlie. “Great news. The doc cleared me to return to work the day after tomorrow.”
I sat up, buoyed at the thought of not having to put up with Jessica again. “Are you sure you’re ready, Charlie?”
“No doubt about it. I feel like a new man.” He lowered his voice and said, “When I was in the hospital, Wilma said that we can start seeing one another again as soon as I’m released to return to work.”
That explained everything. My partner was returning to work so
that he could have sex. I told Charlie that I’d talk to him in a couple of days and ended the call.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep and decided to read for a while longer. After a couple of hours, I put my book away and was dozing off when I got a call back from the chief of police, Tom Reed. I briefly explained my reason for calling. He agreed to meet with me in the morning.
As I ended the call, I heard someone screaming. I grabbed my gun and ran out into the hallway. Then I realized what was happening. The screaming was coming from the bedroom next to mine. It was Natalie.
I went back to bed, put my earplugs in, put my pillow over my head, and tried to drown out Natalie’s flaming hot post-hypnotic orgasm.
Just before I fell asleep, the hypnotic image of the woman I’d seen at the park with my father entered my mind. Was she just someone who happened to be there watching the children ride the ponies or was there some other reason she was there? Did she know my father? Why was she waving to me?
The questions swirled through my mind until I was swept up into the darkness of a sleep without dreams.
CHAPTER FIFTY
I met Chief Reed at Runyon Canyon Park in Hollywood early the next morning. I had asked him to come alone and to be sure he wasn’t being followed.
“I have to admit, you’ve got me very curious as to what this is all about,” Reed said. He was dressed casually and wore a Dodger’s baseball cap. The chief of police was in his mid-fifties with a solid build and deep voice.
I trusted Reed and decided to hold nothing back. “I have reason to believe that someone in the department may be working with Jimmy Marcello, he may be involved in the wedding murders, and he may have been behind the death of my father.”
The police chief leaned forward, his hands pressing hard on his knees. “Wow. Okay, let’s hear everything you’ve got.”
I spent the next half hour going through what I knew in detail, starting with China Warner and Michael Clinton, detailing her ties to Discrete and his business ties to Jimmy Marcello. I explained how Mags Warner was also linked to the escort service. I told him that Harmon Sanders had used his political influence at city hall in return for prostitutes that he got, first through Mags, and then later through Marla West.
