by Tasha Fawkes
He smiled and shook his head as he rounded the end of the couch and moved to sit down beside me. I bent my legs and slowly sat up, brushing the hair from my face. “I fell asleep.”
“Sorry I’m so late.”
“What time is it?”
“Around two o’clock.”
To my surprise, he didn’t smell of alcohol, perfume, or anything unusual. “Did you have fun?”
He offered a shrug. “Nick’s moving to Los Angeles.”
I knew that Nick and Brady were best friends and had been for years. I wasn’t that sorry to hear the news. Nick had been the one to place the ad on Craigslist. While he wasn’t one of my favorite people in the world, I kept that to myself, knowing that he and Brady had known each other for years.
“It’s funny, really,” Brady said, his voice soft, his tone reflective.
“What is?” I don’t think I’d ever seen Brady in such a quiet mood before. Was he upset that his best friend was moving? When he looked at me I felt my heart skip a beat.
“Everything is changing,” he shrugged. “Seemingly overnight.”
“What do you mean?” He didn’t hesitate an instant, but grasped my hand and looked at me, his gaze serious.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Dana.”
To say that I was stunned was not even close to adequately describing how those words made me feel. Still, I held back my emotions because I could tell he had more to say.
“You don’t have to respond to that statement. I know we had a deal, and to be quite honest with you, I’m still exploring these… these feelings I have. I’m not even sure what they are, but I do want you to know that I feel… that I’m extremely fond of you.” He offered a short-lived laugh. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
Well. That announcement kind of changed things, didn’t it? But do I want this change? I knew that what I needed to tell him would be a bit of a surprise for him, but maybe not, and it wasn’t anything to be taken lightly. Not only that, but the news would potentially change both our lives forever. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. We both had some big decisions to make, but looking at Brady’s face at this moment, I knew very well that our so-far-relatively-comfortable-living arrangement might end, here and now.
“You said you had a surprise for me,” he said, a grin lifting his lips.
He glanced down at my T-shirt and gym shorts that I usually wore to bed, then back at my face. I nodded. “That I do.” Now that the moment of reckoning had come, I was tongue-tied, my emotions all over the map. To be completely honest, I was scared, appalled, strangely excited, and shaken to the core.
“I was thinking of gift-wrapping it, but then it seemed kind of… of… considering the arrangement we had. I mean, it’s not like we’re...” I paused. I didn’t know how to say it. Brady put his arm around my shoulder.
“What is it? Is it about your brother? School?”
“No,” I sighed. Finally, I reached for my purse. It sat on the floor at the base of the end table beside the couch. I fumbled around in it for a moment and then extracted the white, oblong object no bigger than an ordinary tongue dispenser, narrow at one hand, wider on the other. I watched his face as I handed it to him. He knew immediately.
“I’m pregnant, Brady.”
“You are?” He glanced down at the stick, saw the positive result, and then looked back up at me. Other than surprise, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Did I want to know? What would happen to me… to us, now? Tears flooded my eyes. I tried to blink them back but was unsuccessful. I didn’t know where it came from, but a silent sob caused my shoulders to heave. The next instant he pulled me into his embrace.
“It’s going to be all right, Dana. Really.”
I wept for several moments, my emotions warring between amazement and horror, all of them founded on fear of the unknown. He held me close, one hand gently patting my back, trying to calm me. The same gesture a mother used to soothe a baby… I swallowed and gathered myself. I pulled back, wiping my eyes as I looked up into his face, calmly watching me while I studied his. He looked pleased, his smile wide, body relaxed, no hint of fear or… and why shouldn’t he be calm? This was what he wanted all along, wasn’t it? But the reality of it all left an entirely different impression on me.
I was going to have a baby.
My baby. Brady’s baby. And according to the deal, I was supposed to deliver that baby and then walk away.
“I don’t think I can do it, Brady.”
“Do what?”
I swallowed thickly. “Grow a baby inside me, deliver it, and then walk away.”
He continued to smile at me, leaning back—at ease, in control. He brushed the hair from my face, his thumb tracing the outline of my jaw as he gazed at me with a look of… I had never seen that look before. He spoke softly.
“I may have entered this deal, this arrangement of ours, with a certain endgame in mind, I admit that. But I need you to know, Dana, that over the past few months, I learned something.”
He paused, his thumb wiping a stray tear from my cheek.
“Dana, I love you. I want you to know that, right now. To hell with this agreement. I understand if you can’t or won’t reciprocate my feelings, but I want you to know that I won’t turn my back on you. This is your baby… our baby, and I will support you, no matter what you decide.”
Speechless. I felt speechless. The entire purpose for this… for this arrangement, was to produce a grandchild for his father. When had that suddenly changed? I think he saw my confusion because he smiled again and pulled me close, his chin resting against the top of my head as I leaned against his chest. I listened to the steady thudding of his heart.
“I love you, Dana. Agreement or not, I love you.”
The rumble of his voice issuing from his chest was so comforting, so warm, but in spite of my growing feelings and affection for Brady, I was afraid to say anything, afraid to admit it. But I knew, deep down inside, that I was torn. More than a little confused.
That blue line on the pregnancy stick had changed everything.
Chapter Twenty
Brady
I hadn’t slept very well the night before. Dana’s sleep had been restless. Her restlessness was not the only thing that had kept me awake until the wee hours of the morning. As I laid in bed next to her, listening to her soft breathing, I struggled between pure, unadulterated panic, processing the news of a baby and the possibility that Dana would leave me when this was all over. Walk right out that door as if we had never… well, I had fallen for her, but did she feel the same? She hadn’t responded to my declaration of love, but I didn’t fault her for that. She was already obviously overwhelmed at the pregnancy and all it entailed. And while I know that producing a baby for my dad was the ultimate point of all of this, until the moment I saw that pregnancy stick, the thought was still untenable, ethereal, and difficult to truly imagine.
That pregnancy stick had brought everything crashing down into three-dimensional, concrete reality. What the hell had I been thinking? Now that the pregnancy was verified, I didn’t know what to do. I had meant everything I said to Dana, but that didn’t make me less afraid. For the first time in my life, I had to take responsibility. I had to do the right thing. And if that meant letting Dana go, I would do it, as much as I was loathed to.
The sun peeked through the windows, bathing the bedroom in a soft glow. Careful not to wake her, I rose, showered, and reached into the open closet door to grab a pair of chinos from the hanger, then stepped to my dresser for a clean t-shirt. I left the room to dress in the living room. I decided that I would go to my office, where I could think in private. I couldn’t get the look on Dana’s face last night out of my head. The myriad of emotion. Surprise, anxiety, and yes, fear. I had a feeling that both of us now realized the true ramifications of this agreement we had made.
A mistake? Certainly, and I realized that now, although I would never regret meeting her, regardless of the circumstances that brought us together; she might
very well come to hate me for putting her through this. Yes, she had signed the agreement, but a baby changed everything. What made either one of us think that a baby wouldn’t change us, or our feelings toward bringing a new life into the world? What had made either of us think that once a baby was born, we could hand it over to my dad and go on with our merry lives?
“You’re such a fucking idiot,” I muttered to myself as I left the apartment and headed for the elevators.
And yet, without that damned agreement, I never would have met Dana. I never would have imagined that a woman could change me so completely in such a short time, that I would fall in love with her.
I took the elevator downstairs, not sure what to think. To be completely honest with myself, I acknowledged the sudden surge of nausea that rose in my throat. Damn right I was scared. It wasn’t every day that you learned you were going to be a father. I swallowed and stiffened my shoulders. Shame on me. How many times I had fucked a woman and not given a thought to what might happen? I always wore a condom, made it clear that I wasn’t interested in long-term relationships. I engaged in responsible sex.
I realized how stupid that sounded now. I hadn’t been responsible. I hadn’t cared about any of the women I’d slept with in the past, except Elise, of course, and Dana. What kind of a track record was that? Over the past decade and the dozens of women I had slept with in between, maybe even hundreds… what did that say about me?
I had called Stella, Dad’s secretary, before I met with Nick at the club, rescheduling our meeting for later this morning. I would hang out in the office and then meet with Dad. I’d give Dana time to herself before returning to the apartment. I think both of us could do with some space to process the news.
Maybe Dana and I would go do something later today. I’d suggest something fun, something to take our minds off the baby for a little while. We needed to adjust, and it wouldn’t happen overnight. My plans made, I reached my building and took the elevator up to my office feeling a little better.
I got to my office at about eight o’clock, but kept glancing at the clock. My appointment with my father was scheduled for ten o’clock. I didn’t want to deal with him right now, but I’d put him off too many times. If I didn’t see him today, I knew that he would either show up at my office or, God forbid, my apartment.
To say that I was distracted was putting it lightly. I needed to talk to Cassie, to get her advice. I knew what Nick would say, and I didn’t want to hear that. He wouldn’t understand. We had put the seal on the deal, and that’s all that mattered. That’s what Nick would say. Yet my emotions had gotten in the way of this ludicrous deal, this plan to… oh God, I felt so ashamed. And angry. As far as I was concerned, half of this was my dad’s fault for giving me such a ridiculous ultimatum in the first place.
But mainly I faulted myself. I’m the one who had come up with the plan, with Nick of course, but if I had been a man, I would’ve told my father to go to hell. I would’ve been willing to turn my back on my inheritance.
So now what did that make me? A greedy, spoiled, self-involved bastard, a bastard who only cared about himself.
Until now.
By the time I left the office and drove to my dad’s estate, I had regained my composure. Well, most of it anyway. I had decided to just lay it all out. But when I crossed the threshold into his office, that changed. This didn’t look normal. I found him sitting behind his massive desk, which was not unusual at all. What was unusual was that his normally messy desk was surprisingly neat, folders and paperwork stacked on one side, maybe three inches thick, the rest of the desk orderly. In front of them on the dark green blotter lay a single folder. He sat rigid in his chair, hands folded on top of that folder. As if he’d been waiting.
“Brady, nice of you to grace me with your presence.”
I said nothing, though I had to bite my tongue. What was this? I felt my blood pressure rise, as it usually did in my dad’s presence, but I also tensed. Something was up. His desk, his posture, the calmness in his tone…
I didn’t need this. Today of all days, I needed time to think, but with my dad breathing down my neck that was just about impossible. I played it cool. “What did you do need to see me about?”
“Sit down.”
At first I wasn’t going to, but I changed my mind. I had enough emotional baggage on my shoulders today. Picking a fight with my dad was not high on my list of important things to do at the moment.
Dad unfolded his hands, picked up the folder, and leaning over his desk, handed it to me. I gazed curiously at him and then reached forward, took the folder, and opened it. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when I saw the first eight-by-ten photograph. Dana at school. The next one, Dana at work. The next one of Dana and I sitting at the diner when we signed the contract.
Behind the photographs, I found several pages of typed information. A report by a private investigator. A background check. Biographical information on Dana and a brother named Charlie. I glanced at my father, who stared implacably back at me. My head pounded anew.
“I know about your scam, Brady.” He leaned back in his chair, hands folded over his slightly protruding stomach. “The moment you left that day, I had my guy following you. And of course, Nick. I should’ve known you would come up with something like this, paying a woman off to pretend to be your girlfriend, your fiancée… to have a baby?”
My mouth had gone dry, my mind spinning.
He leaned forward, nostrils flared, features tight with tension. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I lost it. “What the hell is wrong with you, giving me an ultimatum like that? Backing me into a corner. What the hell did you think I was going to do?” He didn’t answer that question but asked another.
“Did you even bother checking into her background? Did you know that, that fifty grand you pulled out of your account—and no, I didn’t find out from Frederick—went to pay off her brother’s gambling debt? He’s been in and out of trouble most of his life! He’s into drugs, or has his history of it, and an addiction to gambling, and God knows what else. Did you know that her parents’ are dead, and she lived years with an uncle with a felony in his past?” He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “Do you know what kind of family of you’ve gotten yourself involved with? Did you even think of that?”
Resentment bubbled up inside me. That and a surge of emotion, seeking to protect Dana from my father’s prejudice. “She’s not like her brother. She’s a hard worker. She’s kind and compassionate. She’s trying to finish up nursing school to make a better life for herself and—”
He cut me off with a slash of his hand.
“While I applaud her going to nursing school, she comes from a questionable background, Brady. She’s—”
I knew what he was going to say, but if he called Dana white trash, I swear, I was going to—”Don’t say it, Dad. Don’t.”
He paused, mouth open, and then shook his head. “You’re playing games with people’s lives, for the sake of money? I thought I raised—”
Now it was my turn to interrupt. “You do it every day, don’t you? You buy and sell, wheel and deal, and because it’s business—” I emphasized the word with air quotes— “you figure it’s okay, that no one’s going to get hurt? Believe me, I learned from the best.”
I leaned forward, tamping down the desire to reach across the desk and… I sat back, one hand grasping the side of the chair. “Just because a person doesn’t have money doesn’t mean they’re less than worthy.” I grew irate. To imply that Dana was less desirable or less acceptable as a partner, just because of her background… “I don’t care about her background. Do you understand that? She shouldn’t be blamed for the faults of others. And I don’t give a shit what she did with that fifty grand. My God, doesn’t it say something to you about her character that she’s… that she was willing to go through with this deal, not only to help her brother but—”
I had to stop, my voice choked with unfamili
ar emotion. I wasn’t going to deal with this. I rose from my chair, prepared to leave. I didn’t want to listen to him anymore.
“Sit down!”
The tone of my father’s voice prompted me to pause. I froze. His face had turned beet red. I saw the pulse pounding in his temple. His harsh breathing. His hands trembled. Was he going to have a heart attack? I had never seen him so angry. I sat down.
“You’ve done a lot of things that have disappointed me, Brady, but this takes the cake. Honestly, bribing that girl to pretend to be your fiancée? You didn’t even bother to check her background, did you? Did you even bother to ask why she wanted fifty thousand dollars? Fifty thousand?”
No. I hadn’t, not because I felt it was none of my business, nor that I wasn’t curious. I didn’t ask because I was afraid if I did, she would call off the deal then and there. But I wasn’t going to admit that to him. “That’s none of your business,” I said quietly. “You insisted I had a year to get married and produce a grandchild. This is what you wanted, remember?” I shook my head. “What difference does it make how I did it? You don’t care about me or Dana. All you want is a grandchild; a grandchild that you can mold into what you want, and to hell with what anyone else wants.”
We glared at each other for several seconds. When I spoke again, my voice sounded eerily calm. “You forced me into this corner. You’re the one who—”
“Oh, shut up, Brady,” he interrupted. “For the first time in your life, take responsibility! You’re so afraid that you’ll lose out on your playboy lifestyle, that you can’t go around fucking women left and right, and playing the big shot. You want everything handed to you on a silver platter. I earned all of it, Brady, do you get that? All of it! You want the money, you just don’t want to work for it!”
“I’ve been sitting at my desk in my office every day for the past three months!”
“Yes, I know,” he nodded. “And you’re doing a fine job, but how long is that going to last? The minute you get what you want, you’re going to disappear again? Is that it?”
