by Blue Saffire
“Rage man, think with your head on your shoulders and not the one in your pants, man. This is the band,” Mitch warns.
I have to take time to think about that one. Mitch has a point, with my dad on my back giving me ultimatums I have a lot more to consider. As much as Kitty’s presence has stirred something new in me I have to remember the band.
“Fine,” I grumble. He has a point this is the band, one of the most important things to me. I would never mess things up for the guys because I can’t keep it in my pants.
“So where is she?” Sleep asks.
“I don’t know. I thought that was her bike outside,” I shrug. I was sure I heard that sweet bike of hers revving up outside about ten minutes ago.
I was shocked to see her ride was a bike but I was seeing red when I saw her climb on the back while that douche drove. I expected her to have some cute little coupe or something. I have to admit I would love to see her on that bike by herself. I was almost tempted to make an excuse to go out there when I first thought I heard the bike come back.
“Her bike,” Sleep quizzes.
“Yeah, a pink and black Ducati,” I reply.
“Sweet,” Sleep chuckles. “Just so you all know I won’t touch her but I am officially in love with her.” Everyone laughs but me which thankfully no one seems to notice because Mandy pokes her head in the garage.
“Hey you guys. Is it okay for me and Kitty to come in,” Mandy asks in a soft voice that raises the hairs on the back of my neck.
Mandy is never soft spoken or timid unless she is upset about something. I frown as Crush waves her in and Kitty walks in looking as if she has been crying. I know she wants this gig but we didn’t give her the impression she wasn’t getting it so there would be no reason for her to cry over it. And why would Mandy look so sad, we talked this morning. I told her Kitty pretty much had the gig I just needed to talk it over with the guys.
Kitty takes a seat on a crate as far away from everyone as she can get. Mandy sits next to Sleep and Crush and starts talking about the tour she is working on for us over the summer. We would rather start out sooner but we are aware that Kitty is finishing a semester at school and would need more time before she can pick up and start traveling.
We will have to work around her schedule a lot for the next few months but she is worth it after what we saw last night. I study Kitty for a while before I clear my throat to get the room’s attention. Everyone stops talking and looks over to me. Kitty looks up at me through her lashes looking just like a sad little kitten.
“Kitty, we just wanted to let you know that you are a new member of True Life. You and I will be the lead singers and we will finally get to start working on this demo,” I announce.
Kitty gives a weak smile that doesn’t even touch her eyes. “Thanks guys,” she mutters. “You can text me rehearsal times and I will do my best to be at as many as I can.”
“No worries Kit,” Crush croons, “I think this will be great. I mean if it’s cool with you we’ll rehearse in your studio sometimes too.”
“Um…maybe not Chris,” Mandy hisses and narrows her eyes at Crush.
“No, he is right Mandy. Maybe that would help, you know… me move forward,” Kitty says swallowing past the lump in her throat. “Crush maybe you can come over sometime and see if everything down there is still working and if I need to have anything replaced, okay?”
“Sure Kitten, when you’re ready, babe,” Crush smiles.
“I’ll let you know. Listen, thanks again guys I need to get going. I’ll see you later,” Kitty says as she stands and starts for the door.
I want to jump up and follow her out to find out what is wrong but Mandy is at her side before I can make a move. If that douchebag wannabe boyfriend of hers hurt her I will rip his face off. It had to be him. She was fine before leaving with him this morning.
I am so angry I can’t see straight. All I want is to protect the little kitten that is walking out of the door. I didn’t miss the whole studio thing with her and Crush but I could always pick him for that information later. First thing I want to know is who took the smile from my girl’s face.
And with that thought I sigh. I am done. Kelly ‘Kitty’ Nelson owns me completely. The one girl that is off limits to me is the one girl I want totally.
CHAPTER Four
“Everything looks good Kitten. I’d have the board serviced if I were you since it’s been like three years since anyone has used it but other than that we can just pick up a few wires, some plugins and a new computer. We’ll be set from there. We can still rehearse here in the meantime,” Chris says as he moves around the studio.
I have been with the band for about two weeks now and my classes have been hard on the bands rehearsal schedule. They have tried working around me but it still hasn’t been as smooth as everyone would like. I was hanging out with Mandy, Chris and Rage last night and Chris asked if I gave any thought to opening the studio again.
I almost told him I wasn’t ready but when Rage’s eyes lit up and he asked if working from my studio would make things easier for me to rehearse I gave in. I have noticed when it comes to those intense grey eyes I have no will power. Since being in the band Rage has talked me into spending, the little spare time, I do have around him. To as he puts it build chemistry with the band, which would be fine if we ever hooked up with the rest of the band.
Instead we have gone to see a couple of bands in concert. I’ve been with Rage to get another tat. We’ve been to get him a new guitar. I have even been out on a few rides on the back of his bike that I was sort of surprised to find out he had. Not that he is not the type to ride a bike it’s just he is in love with his Nova. I didn’t think you could pull him away from his car long enough to get him on anything else.
Truth be told I really don’t mind the extra time with just him. I have gotten to know that he can be really sweet. Looking at him you wouldn’t think that he could be the perfect gentleman and always concerned with someone else’s comfort. He is always so cool and nonchalant around the rest of the band or when we are at the bar for a gig, but when we are together or he thinks no one is watching he is so attentive, it is endearing.
I figure the studio is the least I can do for him since he is unknowingly filling a void for me. Linc has yet to answer or return any of my calls or text for the last two weeks. If it weren’t for Rage’s distractions I would be super depressed.
“So you want to go and get that stuff now,” I ask Chris.
Chris looks at his watch and twists his lips before releasing a whistle. “Rage said he’ll be here soon and the rest of the gang will be arriving within the hour. I don’t think we have time.”
“Okay,” I sigh. Now that we are down here it is starting to become harder to breathe. Seeing Chris sit there smiling at me, looking at the booth where I would sing and play whatever instrument I was feeling that day, it is all washing over me like a tidal wave. I remember hearing my father’s laughter when Chris first started to teach me the drums. ‘That’s my baby,’ he laughed out, ‘she can do anything she puts her mind to. One day I’ll be producing her first album.’
The memory stings so bad it hurts physically. I suck in a sharp breath and double over, at what feels like a punch in the gut. I can’t hold back the sobs that rise, they hit me so swiftly. The sobs are racking my body and roaring in my ears so loud it takes me a moment to register that Chris has shot out of his chair and is holding me.
I continue to sob as he rubs my back and murmurs soothing words against my hair. “Shh, Kitten it’ll be alright. I’m not leaving you this time no matter what. I promise,” he murmurs. His words are like a balm to my heart. I had been so angry with him about what happened between us. I felt so rejected and unloved. It was like everyone I cared about had tossed me back at the same time and I decided to push everyone else away before they could hurt me too.
“We don’t have to be here Kitten. If you are not ready we can try another time,” Chris reassures me.
<
br /> I shake my head and pull it out of his chest. I look up at him and he presses his forehead to mine. I blink back the tears and try to catch my breath. He reaches to wipe the tears from my cheeks and kisses my forehead gently.
“I need to do this,” I sob out, “it’s time, it’s just … there are so many memories here.”
“Yeah, I know babe, but we’ll make new ones. I miss them too you know. Your dad was so cool. Remember those autographed drum sticks he got me for my birthday that time?”
I manage a smile and nod my head. I had told my dad I wanted to get Chris the perfect birthday gift for being so cool about teaching me to play. Dad had gotten him several pairs of drum sticks all used and autographed by different artists. Chris loved them.
“I still have them all,” Chris smiles. “You know, someday it won’t hurt as much. I was sort of too young to remember a lot about my mom, but I still knew she was gone. At some point I’m not sure when or how long it took but it stop hurting so much. At some point I started breathing again.”
“Thanks Chris,” I reach up and touch his cheek. He is as gorgeous as he was three years ago when he kissed me but now all I see is a friend I am really in need of.
~B~
Kitty’s aunt let me in the house and directed me to the stairs that lead to the basement. She is a little taller than Kitty but she has the same violet eyes and golden brown skin, kissed with bronze and chocolate. Her hair was down her back like Kitty’s but she is not hiding the Mohawk I know Kitty does depending on her mood.
With a smile I thanked her aunt and descended the stairs excited to see my version of Kitty, the one with the purple streaks in her hair and the amazing smile. What I was not expecting to find was my little brother with his hand pushed in those streaks or with his forehead pressed to hers. I could feel the anger rise like a furnace as my jaw set and my eyes narrowed.
It was when I heard her voice crack as she said thanks and saw his long fingers brush away her tears that I relaxed. Something had upset her and he was only comforting her. I want to be the one to comfort her and I cursed myself for not getting here sooner. I had stopped to get a haircut and made a side trip to get some new cologne.
I had overheard Kitty and Mandy talking about some guy Mandy was into. Kitty mentioned liking when guys smell good and how she had given Linc cologne before to wear for a date. I wanted to try something new for Kitty; I had even changed my body wash. She’d mentioned that before as well.
I’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know Kitty. Mitch has been giving me warning looks but we all promised not to touch her. I haven’t put a hand on her. Unlike Crush who is always a little too touchy feely with Kitty for my liking. I guess he doesn’t touch her more than any other female but I don’t watch him with any other female.
They still haven’t noticed me in the doorway. It is when my mind starts to race about what could have Kitty in tears that I let out a low hiss between my teeth at the thought of Linc. It’s been two weeks and I know he has been avoiding Kitty, Mandy sings like a canary anytime I ask about Kitty. Funny thing is Mandy thinks little of her sharing, she just loves Kitty and could talk about her all day and she wants me to like her as well, for the band.
Kitty looks up to see me as my thoughts of Linc being the cause of her pain eat at me. She pulls away from Crush and starts to wipe away the tears that are still falling. She looks at me horrified to have me see her crying. She glances back at Crush and winces.
“I messed up your t-shirt,” she murmurs.
“No big deal,” Crush laughs and pulls her in for a hug.
I clear my throat and step forward into the room. Crush releases her and sits in one of the chairs seated in front of the board. This has to be one of the nicest studios I have ever been in, especially for a home studio. There is something warm and inviting about it.
“Is everything okay,” I ask not able to hide my concern.
“Yeah, I’m just being stupid,” Kitty says wiping at her face some more.
“You are not being stupid,” Crush hisses at her. “You are grieving. You are welcome to grieve.”
“We don’t have to do this today,” I offer as I get closer and look down at her.
“I told her the same thing,” Crush grumbles as he looks at Kitty with disapproval.
“No, I told you it is fine. I have to move forward it has been long enough. I’ll just go upstairs and wash my face and I’ll be fine. I’ll bring you a new shirt too,” Kitty insists.
“I don’t need a shirt, it’s cool.”
“Well can I get you guys something to drink,” Kitty asks as she stands and looks up at me with a weak smile. I want to kiss her right now and tell her it will be okay. Her lips look so soft from her crying and I want to sooth all her worries with my own lips.
“I’m fine,” I reply, clearing my throat.
“I could take another water,” Crush says as he starts to work with the board.
“Okay, I’ll bring down a case of water to stock the refrigerator down here,” she says turning for the stairs.
“Do you need help,” I ask.
She looks back over her shoulder and gives me a big smile this time. She shrugs her small shoulders. “Sure why not, come on,” she says.
I fall in step behind her as she starts the upstairs. I watch her hips sway as she moves gracefully. It would be so easy to just reach out and wrap my arms around her waist but I push those thoughts aside and follow her to the kitchen.
“I’ll just run in the powder room on this floor. There is a case of water in the pantry. You can help yourself to anything in there. Make yourself at home; I’ll be right back to help.” She backs out of the kitchen smiling at me turning once she is over the kitchen threshold.
I enter the fully stocked pantry and grab a container of peanuts and a case of water. Kitty is already back pulling pans from the refrigerator and placing them on the counter top. I sit the water and nuts down on the floor next to the counter and straighten to watch her.
“Are you hungry,” Kitty asks. “I tend to cook when I’m nervous and I was sort of nervous this morning and I thought… well I thought you guys may get hungry while you’re here.”
“I won’t deny something to eat,” I smile.
Kitty smiles and reaches for a plate. “It’s stuffed shells and spinach casserole. I can make something else if you don’t eat that,” she says nervously then wrinkles her cute little nose as she looks down at the dishes in front of her.
I chuckle, “It’s fine and I am sure it tastes great.”
Her smile returns and she starts to place food on the plate. She pops it in the microwave and turns back to start another plate. I move up behind her and cage her in with my arms on the counter. I bend to inhale her hair and the smell of peaches and lavender assaults my senses. It is such a fresh and sweet smell.
Kitty turns to face me and our faces are inches from each other. In just one short breath I could close the space between our lips and put myself out of my misery. Kitty looks into my eyes seeming to be searching for my thoughts and then her gaze travels down to my lips.
“Are you really okay?” I ask.
Her eyes water and her nostrils flare but before I can say another word Kitty gasps and wraps her arms around my neck burying her face there as well. She is holding on to me so tightly, it shocks me that someone so small can hold me so fiercely. I wrap my arms around her and pull her in close.
“Rage, you have no idea what you mean to me,” she says softly. “Linc is always there for me when I’m a mess like this, but he…thank you so much. I know you just want us to have synergy for the band but you have been so much more for me.”
She has taken me by surprise but her words wrap around my heart and squeeze tight. I’d just been thinking how much I want to be the one that comforts her and she is granting me my wish with her words. I give her a little squeeze.
“Anytime baby,” I say against her temple.
She pulls back and gives me a smile.
“You smell really good, it’s… it’s different,” she blinks in confusion as if she didn’t understand her own words and then her eyes fix on my lips again. She starts to bite her lip and my willpower breaks. I start to lean in to kiss her; there is no denying the energy swirling around us.
Just before I can land the kiss the microwave goes off and her aunt’s voice rings out heading in our direction. Kitty pulls away and turns her attention back to the plate she was fixing.
“Oh Kelly, I just sent your friends downstairs I didn’t know you were up here. Mandy was just telling me about the tour you guys are planning for the summer. Your dad would be so happy,” Kitty’s aunt beams. “Can I help with anything?”
“Um… no, I was just going to take Chris something to eat but I guess I should just take this all down so everyone can have something,” Kitty answers while trying not to look at me.
“I’ll just take this downstairs,” I say pointing to the water and nuts as I go to pick them up. “I’ll be back for the rest.”
“Thanks,” she murmurs.
I grin to myself as I leave the kitchen. Kitty had noticed my cologne and she was about to let me kiss her. I feel like she wanted it as much as I did. My smile slips away as I play her words in my head. ‘You smell really good, it’s… it’s different,’ I groan to myself. What did she mean different, did she like the way I smelled before, was the cologne and body wash a good change or does she prefer before?
I frown to myself as I push my way into the basement. I am going to drive myself crazy if I don’t do something about the way this girl twists me up in knots. I feel like I’m in junior high again and I was never this awkward then.
