by Blue Saffire
~B~
It is so strange to see Nolan so nervous. I’m not sure if it is because of this fancy restaurant and the fact that he has dressed up or if it is something else. He is just not himself. He has been fumbling around since we were seated at our table and he keeps looking at his watch. I want to point it out but he looks so cute.
Sweat is dotting his upper lip and he has this boyish smile on his face. You would think he was about to ask a girl out on his first date. I let him order for me when he informs me that his dad actually recommended this place.
I have to admit that shocked me a little. Nolan and his dad don’t have a terrible relationship but I have noticed that he has a shorter fuse when it comes to his dad. Since we have been together I have watched him limit talks with his dad to business.
I know from the day at his father’s office how much his dad really cares about him. We have spoken a few times since I have returned to the tour. He really is a nice man. I’ve gotten to know him more now than I ever did when I used to hang out with his other children.
The restaurant is a beautiful Italian fusion restaurant, a blend of Asian and Italian cuisine. The décor is modern with subtle hints of rustic Italian heritage. I love it. I know this is a date I will never forget and not just because it is our first official one.
The waiter has filled our wine glasses so I reach for mine and take a tentative sip as I watch Nolan over my glass. The wine is excellent. I know a thing or two from my aunt. She loves to go to the vineyards. She says it is her inspiration for her blogs but she never writes about anything to do with wine at all. Go figure.
Just when I decide I can’t take the anxious look on his face any longer, he clears his throat grabbing my attention causing me to sit up. “I had an ulterior motive for bringing you here tonight,” he says and clears his throat again. I notice that he is wiping his palms on his slacks under the table. My first thought is that he is going to ask me about the band. I have been holding this off long enough as it is. I guess I better make my decision final tonight by telling him. “I love you so much Kelly and these past few months have been amazing when we didn’t have drama tearing at us. I just….I don’t want to go back home and be without you in my arms. I…”
He clears his throat again and reaches for his wine. This is not going where I thought it would and I am curious now. “I think maybe we could move in together. I know it’s not ideal to live with my brother but I talked to Mitch and he is game to move in with Chris so I was thinking maybe its time I get a place of my own,” he finishes clearing his throat again and looking at me through his amazingly long and thick lashes.
“But I thought it was your place,” I tilt my head to the side and study him.
“Yeah, but I can’t just put Crush out. He can stay and we can get something just for us. If he moves out later we can rent the place out,” he shrugs.
“We as in you and Crush,” I ask with furrowed brows because he sure does sound like he mean we as in him and I.
“No baby, as in you and me. We can rent it or sell it. I never saw it as a place where I would start my family anyway,” he says and blushes furiously when I gasp audibly and my eyes widen.
I watch him wince and reach for his wine again. I bite my lip as I soak in everything he is saying. Sure I have already decided that I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, but hearing him talk about our future makes it so real. This is not just my fantasies in my head. He wants the same thing I want. Well sort of, but what I want would naturally be the next step right?
I beam at him. “Aww babe, you would move just for me,” I tease.
“Kelly you have no idea what I would do for you, baby,” he says with so much emotion in his voice. It is then that my plans seem solid and the absolute only option.
“Well I guess now is the perfect time to tell you what I have been up to,” I say, now the one feeling nervous. “My uncle has been emailing me since I came back to join you guys. I’m slowly being introduced to the company. I have decided to compromise. I want to finish school so I agreed to take over the company as long as Uncle Terry stays on long enough for me to finish.”
“Baby, that’s great. I know you can do this. I know your dad would be so proud of you. I’m proud of you,” Nolan’s entire face lights up and his words warm me.
“Well there is more. Aunt Mena has surprised us all with a bun in the oven. It’s kind of why Uncle Terry has started pushing me. They’ll be moving out. The house belongs to me and they think I am ready for some adult space from them. So we won’t need to buy a new place. Well, that is if you want to move in with me,” I say shyly.
Nolan watches me pensively. I can see the wheels turning in his head. Now that I have put the option out there I am totally nauseous.
“Is that something you want? I mean I know the place has so many memories for you. Maybe we can just go for a fresh start,” he says cautiously.
“Yes there are many memories, but so many of them are great memories and if you are there with me then it will be a fresh start,” I say as I really think about it. I am excited now. I was nervous about living on my own when Aunt Mena and Uncle Terry first brought it up, but I can totally see me and Nolan there now.
“Whatever makes you happy baby. I just want to make you happy,” Nolan says looking a little more relieved.
“Then it’s settled you’ll move in with me. I can crash with you and Crush for a few weeks to give them time to move out and then we can make it our home,” I practically bubble over with excitement.
He thinks for a minute then frowns. “Crush can stay with Mandy until we move out,” he grumbles.
I throw my head back and laugh. He has definitely become more possessive since we’ve started an intimate relationship. I’m not surprised he doesn’t want me living with him and Crush, even though he is his brother.
“Whatever, I go where ever you go.”
“That’s all I want Kelly. All I needed to hear.”
“Well…I think there is one more thing you need to hear. I’ll be having Sam contact Mandy as soon as we get home. The band will need to look over the contracts and sign,” I say cautiously.
“Hell no Kelly, we are not signing a deal without you baby,” he bites out. His face has a full scowl now. “None of us have changed our mind on that.”
“Good because you don’t have to,” I reply and sit back to let my words sink in.
He searches my face and a smile hits the corner of his lips as my words click into place for him. I watch his throat work as he tries to figure out if I’m indeed saying what he thinks I am. He sits back in his chair mirroring me.
“Baby…are you sure. I don’t want you to think we are pressuring you into this. You have so much on your plate. School, the label, us… the band is just going to put more on your plate,” he says thoughtfully.
“Rage, are you trying to talk me out of being in the band?” I mock gasp and then laugh.
“No Kitty, I just want to make sure these things are all what you want, not what we all want for you.” I love the look of sincere concern for me in his eyes. I know I am making all the right decisions.
“I do want it all. I made this decision carefully. I can take a lot of my classes online next semester and the one after that if I have to. I discussed my decision with my uncle and he is structuring things to work around my life. Your dad has offered a lot of help and Mandy has offered to help out as well. I can do this…I want to do this,” I say with a sage nod. I am determined to make this all work in my life.
Nolan just gives me a wide smile. I can do this with this man loving me and everyone else’s support. I am ready to live again. I feel it in my heart.
Dinner was wonderful. Everything was delicious. Nolan still seems sort of nervous. I wonder if he is having second thoughts about moving in together.
“It’s so beautiful tonight,” I coo trying to pull him from his thoughts as we walk along the beach.
“Not as beautiful as you,” he p
ulls me closer into him and kisses the top of my head. He is so tender and sort of unlike Nolan. Not that he is never tender but just not like this. Something is definitely up with him.
“Is everything okay, babe? If you are having second thoughts about moving in with me…its fine we can wait,” I offer and bite down on my lip as I peek up at him through my lashes.
He stops and turns to face me bending to get eye to eye with me. “Kelly if I can help it there is never going to be another moment that I will be without you,” he says with so much emotion as he searches my eyes. I wrap my arms around his neck and lift up on my toes to hug him tightly.
“Promise,” I ask with a huge smile.
He pulls me to him and joins our lips in a slow passionate kiss, nipping at my bottom lip and softly groaning into my mouth causing me to moan in return. I feel myself melt into his arms pulling him closer to me. We are lost in our own world when his phone goes off and he breaks our kiss.
I pout up at him and he gives me a wicked smile and winks at me. This man is so sexy there should be a warrant out for his arrest for being over the sexy limit for one man. I love the look his grey eyes get when he is turned on. It is all smoky and hot. I can feel the tingling between my legs just thinking about all the things he will do to me tonight.
I watch him chew on the inside of his mouth as he looks down at his phone. He looks at me with hooded eyes and leans in to kiss me once more. It is way too short a kiss but enough to make me swoon.
“That was a text from Mandy,” he says against my lips. “Some band is doing a pop up not far from here. Everyone is meeting up there. She wants us to come along to celebrate the end of the tour. I guess we can go and give the band the news and really celebrate. That is if you want to go.”
He is biting his lip and looking nervous again. He must be bursting at the seams to tell the band about the deal and I would love to see a live pop up concert on a beautiful night like this. It seems like the perfect end to a not so perfect tour that turned out perfect in its own ways.
“Sure, why not.”
“Come on baby, flash mobs can get serious. We better get there before the crowd gets too big if we want to find the guys and get a good spot,” he says with a huge grin on his face. The band really means a lot to him.
Nolan hands me my shoes to slip back on my feet and then squats in front of me. “Climb on,” he says with a wink. I throw my head back and laugh. He pulls me to him and I oblige him, climbing onto his back and holding on tightly.
“What’s the name of the band,” I ask over his shoulder.
“She didn’t say,” he says quickly. I wonder if I may be too heavy for him as he walks ahead. He is always picking me up as if I weigh nothing. I wonder if I’m heavy since I just ate not too long ago.
“You don’t have to carry me you know. I can walk. If I’m heavy put me down,” I say against his ear and place a kiss on his neck.
“Not a chance,” he croons. “You’re right where I want you.”
I giggle and kiss his neck again and snuggle in for the ride. If this is what our lives will be like when we get home I can’t wait to move in together. I want to spend as much time with Nolan as I can. Rage is growing on me too. I am learning to deal with that side of Nolan when he shows up. Mitch said he has never seen anything like it since he has known Nolan.
Apparently I have some special effect on Nolan that no one else has. I like knowing that, because Nolan has the same effect on me. He gets me in a way no one else does and he understands what I need right now. I don’t know how I’ve gotten so lucky.
I can see the stage coming into view ahead of us and I start to bounce in excitement on his back. Nolan’s hold on my thighs tightens and I try to reel it in. There is a nice crowd building up around the large stage but that is not what has me the most excited. It is beautiful.
There is a huge Ferris wheel in the back drop and the sun is setting just behind the scene, with red, orange, blue and purple coloring the sky in the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. The stage is going to look amazing when this band performs. I feel a ping of jealousy for a moment, wishing it were me and the guys getting ready to perform on this stage tonight.
“I have to talk to Mandy. We have to do something like this,” I say in awe.
“Yeah that would be great,” I can hear the smile in his voice. Nolan loves being on the stage as much as I do. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect match in my life.
We make our way to the front of the stage just as the crowd really starts to fill in. I look around but I don’t see Mandy or the guys. I hope they hurry before they can’t make it to us.
I slip off of Nolan’s back. “Should we fall back in the crowd to wait for everyone else,” I ask as I scan the crowd for our friends.
“No shorty, we want you to be able to see the stage. This is perfect,” he teases with a smile.
“Who are you calling short,” I pout while trying to hide my smile. “And here I thought that’s what you loved about me.”
“I love a whole lot about you and the fact that you are tiny and fit in my arms perfectly is definitely on the list,” Nolan says against my temple. His phone buzzes again but he doesn’t look at it. Instead he draws in a deep breath and I feel a shiver run through him.
“Is everything okay?”
“Just fine, stay right here. I need to go find a can. I’ll be right back Kelly Don’t. Move.” He gives me his serious signature Rage look.
I look around nervously at the crowd. He is right I am tiny. I don’t want to get lost in this crowd. What if he can’t find me again and I don’t find Mandy and the guys?
“Baby, you’ll be fine just stay right here,” he kisses my lips to reassure me. He takes off before I can answer.
I turn toward the stage chewing on my lip, hoping he can find me again as the crowd is just getting thicker and louder. I reach in my clutch to text Mandy to see how far away she is. By the way, what was with not checking his phone it could have been Mandy or one of the guys. He could have told them where I am before taking off.
I stare down at my phone waiting for Mandy to reply but she doesn’t. I start to look around at the crowd again but there is no sight of Nolan or Mandy and the others. I really start to freak out when the stage lights go out. It is completely dark now that the sun has gone down.
There is just the light from the Ferris wheel in the background. People around me start to use their phones for light. I look down at my screen one more time before I do the same. I’m so frustrated with Nolan and Mandy right now. He has been on stage for hours and held it until we got off stage, so why couldn’t he wait until everyone found us tonight?
Suddenly the cords to a guitar solo rings out into the night. The crowd goes nuts and I give up searching for my friends and boyfriend and focus on the stage. It’s a great crowd and the solo is awesome. I would tease Nolan that he has some competition if he were here.
I still can’t see anyone on the stage, it is too dark. There are just shadows moving around. One is moving forward I can tell it is the one playing the solo. The guitarist is tall. I don’t know, there is just something about a tall guitarist. I find myself screaming with the rest of the crowd. This guy is good.
I know it is a guy; the shape is too tall and broad to be female. I really wish Nolan was here right now. This guy is awesome. The cords change and I stop. The breath leaves my lungs and I stand frozen.
Nolan has been working on a few new songs over the last week and I would know this tune anywhere. It’s the one he wanted to get perfect and the one I told him I loved. I wanted to write something to it with him.
Suddenly a huge screen lights up in the background and I pull my eyes from the shadowed figure that I have a gut feeling is my boyfriend. On the screen is a picture of a sleeping girl. Her shoulder is bare and her hair is covering her face. The only reason I know it is a picture of me is the streaks of purple hair. Nolan must have taken it while I was asleep.
Another image co
mes up on the screen and it is me on the tour bus with drum sticks in my hands. My head is thrown back and I am laughing. I look so happy. When were these pictures taken? I don’t recall anyone taking this one either.
The crowd is going wild with cheers at the image of me on screen. It warms my heart a little as they start to chant ‘Kitty’. These are fans, our fans. It is in this very moment that I know I made the right decision to stay with the band. This is why we do this.
The guitar solo is still going and another image fades into the screen and this one is of me and Nolan. We are on the beach. His arms are wrapped around me from behind and he is nuzzling my neck. The crowd roars with cheers.
The next picture fades in and it is us once again sitting in the middle of the tour bus bed. I’m sitting in between Nolan’s legs. His guitar is resting on my lap and his arms are wrapped around me. I have my head thrown back laughing and Nolan is looking down at me lovingly. All the girls in the crowd start to ‘aw’ and coo at the image. This picture I do remember. Mitch took it and said he wanted to document the day Rage allowed a girl to write a song with him.
This is the first time I have seen this picture. It is so strange to see the love in his face from the outside. To have it captured this way. I feel the tears sting my eyes because I really get it. I get that Nolan really loves me and for some reason I think he is about to make that painfully known to everyone here.
I say painfully because I don’t mind living out my life in a song but this is one step closer to being really personal. I am not in control, I have not carefully constructed how this one will play out.
I feel a tug at my left and right side and I look back and forth to find Linc on my left and Mandy on my right. They are both grinning at me like idiots. “He did this all for you,” Mandy squeals.
I dash a tear away from the side of my eye and fight to keep the others in. Mandy wraps me in a tight hug. A spot light comes up and I pull away to look up at the stage. The shadowed guitarist is now illuminated and as I thought it is my boyfriend. His eyes lock with mine almost immediately as he continues to strum his guitar and walks up to the mic.
