Lizzy’s devotion to his health and safety were unbelievable. That she’d come back to him bearing the locket he’d given Carol placed her on a pedestal from which she could never be removed.
Since he wouldn’t receive his inheritance until he was twenty-five, he took money from the craft room despite knowing how wrong it was and how much he’d regret it. He needed just enough to find and kill the man he’d been arrested for beating years before.
When he was arrested for vehicular manslaughter, Dylan didn’t call Lizzy. He refused to have her visit him in jail or sit through a trial.
The judge gave him the option of joining the military because the evidence against him was circumstantial and the victim was a habitual felon.
After the verdict, he met with the judge and confessed. He told the man everything about his childhood. Did his best to explain why he’d struck and killed his dead sister’s drug dealer with a junkie’s car he’d borrowed for two hundred dollars.
Sitting back, Judge Robert Vance crossed his hands over his stomach and stared at Dylan for a long time.
“It’s time for you to leave your past where it is and grow up. You got your pound of flesh from a man who probably had a long list of girls like your sister in his history. It isn’t legal or popular for me to say it but he got less than he deserved.”
Dylan frowned in confusion.
“However, you have the opportunity to change the rest of your life. Now if you fuck it up, you have no one to blame but yourself.” Picking up his pen, he winked. “Go on now, I have work to do, and you have a recruiter waiting for you across the street.”
For years, he focused on his physical health. Recovering from the toll a decade of starvation and abuse had taken on his body didn’t happen overnight.
He pushed his mind, reading books he’d seen on the shelves in Lizzy’s house and pretended that they would one day sit together and talk about them. He didn’t really believe that would happen but it got him through long nights in the desert.
There were no other women. He had a physical aversion to any woman touching him besides Lizzy. It had only ever been her.
His fellow Marines thought he was gay at first. When they realized that all the letters he wrote and mailed to a post office box in New York were to Elizabeth Clayton, they wanted to know the story.
Dylan would just shake his head. No way was he going to tell them about the woman he loved. About the thoughts he had about her and the time they’d spent together.
Those memories were for him alone.
Besides, there was no way other men would understand what he’d been through or how he felt about the girl who saved him.
He didn’t send the letters to her home because Lizzy deserved better. He still had the box. It was the biggest one they had. Regular letters were still mailed there at least once a month. In them, he told her all the things he wanted her to know.
At the end of every year, he would open it and place all the letters into one large envelope with the date on it. If anything ever happened to him, his lawyer knew to forward them to Lizzy.
The horror, shame, and emotional devastation Dylan felt when his commanding officer called him into his office and told him about Davis…there were no words.
Lizzy knew he’d been with that woman. She knew how filthy he was, how sick, and she was trying – despite the circumstances of his son’s conception – to save Davis anyway.
Facing her when he returned to New York was the hardest thing he’d ever done. Seeing her in person after so many years, every part of him was drawn to her. He wanted to take her in his arms and never fucking let her go again.
Then she offered to raise Davis for him and inside he was screaming and screaming. She was willing to put her life on hold again to save another boy like Dylan.
He hurt her so badly that day – and the ones that came before it – but he hadn’t understood anything.
From the first day he’d touched her, he knew she liked him, loved him like a stray dog, but always seemed sad around him because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He tried to stay away so she wouldn’t feel obligated to help him, to be nice to him. So she could find a man good enough to be in her life.
He took responsibility for Davis to keep Lizzy from being sucked into years of selfless responsibility.
For the first week, the two of them barely interacted. Both so damaged, they stayed on opposites sides of his house in Miami, passing in the halls to get food or go to the bathroom. Silent, filled with anger, and withdrawn.
Until the day Davis accidentally broke a glass.
It slipped off the counter and shattered on the floor. Across the kitchen, Dylan watched in horror as the seven-year-old scrambled to clean up the mess, cutting his hands but seeming not to notice.
He was terrified, shaking, murmuring how sorry he was, and when Dylan bent to help…Davis wet himself.
Backing up, he lowered carefully to his knees and stared at who he’d been for so many years.
That was the moment he understood that Davis was his son in more ways than one.
“I’m sorry. If I’d known she was pregnant with you, I never would have left you there. I’m so sorry, Davis.” Reaching up, he grabbed a roll of paper towels. “Your hand is bleeding. I will never hurt you, not for any reason. I swear on my life.”
A trembling hand reached for the roll and the boy skittered backward once he had it.
“It will take time for you to believe that, I know. I understand.” He cried at the fear on Davis’s face. He cried because he knew he’d worn the same expression for far too many years.
“We need to talk to someone. Maybe someone can help us not be afraid anymore.”
His small chin came up. “I’m not afraid.”
“I am. I’ve always been afraid, since I was a little older than you are. I messed up my whole life. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to end up a grown man living in fear. You deserve to be happy, Davis.”
“You’re…still afraid?”
“All the time. The nightmares are awful. The waking memories are worse.”
Glancing down at his body, the little boy said quietly, “I need to clean up. I’ll come back and get the glass.” Staring at Dylan warily, he asked, “Is that alright?”
“Take your time. I’ll clean up the glass. I don’t want you to cut yourself. It was just an accident, just a stupid glass. Not worth you getting hurt.”
Davis stood and backed from the kitchen.
By the time he’d showered and changed clothes, Dylan was sitting on the floor in the living room, staring at one of the clippings he always carried of Lizzy. Over the years, she’d been featured often for her work in the community. He always had them laminated.
“That’s my teacher. Miss Clayton. Do you know her?” Dylan stood close enough to see but far enough away to run.
“Yes. I’ve known her since I was ten. She’s the one who got you away from Donna.”
His son’s copper eyes went wide. “She did?”
“She saved you. The first day she met you, she said she recognized your eyes. She went to the mayor and they worked to get you out that night. I call her Lizzy.”
Perching on the edge of the couch Dylan leaned against, Davis whispered, “Tell me about her. Tell me about Lizzy. She has really pretty eyes.”
“The most beautiful eyes in the whole world.”
They sat together and Dylan told his son about the woman he loved and everything she’d done for him. He confessed to hurting her and even stealing from her. By the end, he could barely talk around the lump in his throat.
Barely audible, Davis said, “If I ever see her again, I want to tell her thank you.”
“I know that would mean a lot to her. Let’s work on getting well, Davis. You and me. Then we’ll take a trip to see her. Maybe then I can tell her all the jumbled up things inside me.”
That was exactly what they did.
For almost four years, they went to therapy
, separately and together. The elderly psychologist reminded Dylan of Nana. That was why he chose her.
They swam every day they could and started running. When he saw Lizzy again, he wanted to be able to run with her. She’d always been so stunning when she ran. Fluid and quiet, as if it was effortless. He imagined that running with Lizzy would be almost as good as kissing her or making love to her.
The two of them had been planning the trip for months. They wanted to go when school let out for the summer. Then Davis was invited to hang out in the Keys with the son of Dylan’s boss and he didn’t want him to miss out.
They rented a house for a couple of weeks and he watched his son run wild with Eric and his big goofy dog. He promised himself to buy them a dog when they got back from visiting Lizzy. He’d never owned a pet before.
The owner of the security company – Gunner Cain – hadn’t asked many questions about his employee’s past. He followed his instincts.
It was Chaz Harding – Gunner’s brother-in-law – who took Dylan aside and told him the story of the childhood he and his twin sister had endured.
Dakota drifted over and she was one of the rare females that didn’t make his skin crawl.
She stared into his eyes for a long time and he thought she saw more than anyone ever had.
“I know what you’ve been through. Fuckers like that like to twist us up inside and make us question who we are and whether we’re clean or not. It wasn’t your fault. I find sparring helps with the anger and it wears you out enough to sleep.”
For the rest of the trip, Dylan sparred every day. With Chaz, his lover Sean, Gunner, and even Dakota. He started sleeping through the night. Three days later, Eric started sparring with Davis.
* * *
By the time they returned home to pack for New York, both of them felt different. They loaded up the SUV and drove north. They took their time, making a road trip out of it.
In Georgia, he received a call from a man named Hollow.
“You don’t know me. I’m a friend of Elizabeth’s.”
“Are you…with her?” Dylan asked with dread coiling in his stomach.
“No. I would be if the choice was mine to make but it isn’t.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“I’m going to need you to pull over, Dylan. Find a nice hotel where Davis can hang out at the pool and settle in somewhere we can talk privately while you watch him.”
“You want me to check into a hotel?”
There was a heavy sigh on the other end of the line and it was obvious this man was not accustomed to having to explain himself.
“I need to tell you a few things and you’re going to need a couple of days to process before you go to her.”
“Is she alright?”
“Pull over and I’ll call you back in half an hour.”
The line went dead and Dylan left the highway at the next exit. “Help me find a place with a pool, Davis. I don’t want you to be bored.”
“I’m never bored but…over there.”
Half an hour later, they stepped out on the patio at the hotel pool and Dylan found a covered table in the corner that was away from other people but close enough to keep an eye on his son.”
He and Hollow talked for a long time. Most of those minutes, Dylan was in shock, tears on his face as he listened to what had happened to Lizzy since he’d seen her last.
She’d lost her son…their child...and tried to kill herself from grief. His Lizzy tried to take her own life from the pain of losing a little boy she named Riley – after her best friend.
The thought of her not being out there in the world doubled him over in pain.
Hollow waited for the agonized sobs to ease. “How is Davis doing, Dylan?”
Surprised at the question, he answered hoarsely, “Better every day. How do you know about him?”
“Davis is the reason I was introduced to Elizabeth. Her terror for a little boy she’d known less than twelve hours stuck with me, affected me deeply.”
“Does she love you?”
“The only man Elizabeth Clayton will ever love is you, Dylan. Only a fool would attempt to sway her loyal heart. I am not a fool.”
“I’m learning everything I did wrong.”
“Learn faster, man.” There was a short pause. “You thought you weren’t good enough for her. I have news for you. There are few men on the planet who would be good enough for her…so the fact that she chose you, again and again, means that she has found you worthy.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Don’t fuck it up.”
“I won’t.”
Dylan hoped he could find the words this time. Figure out how to tell her everything he’d carried around for twenty years. Let her know that he needed her and loved her.
Hollow cleared his throat. “The place where she’s recovering is one of the best in New York. Outside the city about an hour. I’ll text you directions. You need to give her a few days. I’ve been getting updates that she’s on the mend but I need to be sure you showing up isn’t going to spin her back out. I’ll call you when her doctor gives me the all-clear.”
“Thank you, Hollow.”
“You’re welcome. You let her go this time and nothing will stop me from chasing her, Dylan. I think if anyone could mend my heart, it would be Elizabeth.”
“It’s because hers is so incredible.”
“Until we speak again. For now, go play with your son.”
The line went dead and Dylan stared across the patio.
Davis came to the edge of the table, water pouring off his narrow body. “Is everything okay?”
“I think it will be.”
“Are we still going to see Miss Clayton?”
“Yes. We’re going to drive up near where she’s…recovering and wait for that man to call us back. I want to be close.”
“Recovering? What happened to her?”
Dylan started to censor what he was going to say and then realized that Davis was eleven years old and had been through more hell at his young age than most people experienced in a lifetime.
The truth was the only thing he could give him. “She…Lizzy…she had my baby. A little boy named Riley. A few weeks ago, he was killed. H-hit by a car. In her grief, her sadness, Lizzy tried to take her life. Her best friends got to her in time.”
Davis lowered himself into a chair and stared at Dylan, astounded. For a long time the silence stretched between them. “She loved her baby so much that she couldn’t live without him?”
The words brought hot tears to his eyes but he managed to nod.
“She must have been a wonderful mother,” his son whispered.
“I know she was. Let’s stay here tonight and we’ll get back on the road tomorrow.”
That night and the days of travel that followed, Dylan’s mind stayed on Lizzy. Everything in him needed to get to her, to check on her, to make sure she was alive with his own eyes.
The day Hollow called to give him permission to see her, he and Davis had been in a hotel a couple of miles away from her long-term care facility for almost a week.
Fifteen minutes after hanging up, they drove onto the grounds and watched as Lizzy’s best friend stepped out of a cab in front of them.
He glanced at Dylan then did a double take. Eyes narrowed, fists clenched, he paid the cabbie and stomped in their direction.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Dylan? You can’t just pop in for a fucking visit! We have to get her better! No more fly-bys with my best friend!”
Hands up, palms out, Dylan nodded. “I know and I understand. I had it all wrong, Riley. I’m sorry. I won’t leave her again. I need to see her.”
Davis got out of the car. “Hi. I’m Davis Lang.”
Riley looked at the little boy and gasped. He rubbed his hand over his heart. “Just like him. He looks just like RJ.”
Then Lizzy’s best friend burst into tears in front of them.
Unsure how to offer
comfort, Dylan remembered how Lizzy used to take care of him when he was hurt. Putting his arm around Riley’s shoulders, he led him to the passenger seat and crouched in front of him once he sat.
Davis handed him a napkin from a fast food bag they hadn’t thrown away.
“Your eyes…the way you move.” The redhead smiled sadly. “I wish you could have met him.”
Stepping closer, Dylan’s son put his hand on Riley’s shoulder. “You loved him…Lizzy’s little boy?”
“V-very much. Like he was my own little boy. As much as I loved him, Elizabeth loved him a thousand times more. I don’t…I’m afraid of what will happen when she sees you. Do you understand?”
“Because I look how RJ would have looked when he got older.” The eleven-year-old smiled. “Maybe that will be a good thing, huh?”
Riley blinked. Then one side of his mouth lifted. “Maybe.”
“I’ll stay with you while my dad talks to Lizzy.”
Looking at Dylan, the man who’d always been suspicious of his motives where Lizzy was concerned pleaded, “Please don’t hurt her. We almost lost her and I can’t let that happen. I can’t go through that again. Be gentle with her, Dylan. I’m begging you.”
“I know more now than I did the last time I saw her, Riley. I love her. I have to tell her.”
Nodding, Lizzy’s friend led them inside and an orderly said she was in the garden.
Kneeling in front of Davis, Dylan said, “You’re going to love Lizzy. I’ll talk to her alone first. I need to tell her some things. Stay with Riley, okay?”
Before he could stand, his son carefully wrapped his arms around his neck. At his ear, he whispered, “I’d really love a mom to love me like Lizzy loved her little boy.”
Hugging him firmly, Dylan murmured, “I’ll do my best. I want you to have that, too.”
Then he stood and walked outside. He found her in the only patch of sunlight in a ring of shade trees.
She was tracing her wrists and his heart locked in terror because he hadn’t known how she tried to kill herself.
Her hair was longer than he remembered and strands of it lifted in the breeze. Her skin was pale from being inside so much. She was wearing yoga pants, a t-shirt, and flip-flops.
Completely Wrecked: A Dramatic Romance Page 14
