Lily of the Springs

by Carole Bellacera

  “Yeah, that would be nice,” I said, thinking of Chad and Pat-Peaches living down there near the beach—a life of sunshine and ocean breezes.

  With a little wave, Enola disappeared with the baby, leaving me to stare vacantly into space. It could’ve been me. But it seemed Chad and Pat-Peaches were happy together. The Big Man On Campus and the School Slut. Who would’ve thought?

  “Well, you look about a million miles away.”

  I jumped and looked over at the door. Jake stood there, leaning nonchalantly on the doorframe of the ward. He walked over to my bed and gave me a peck on the cheek.

  “How come you’re in here all by yourself?” he asked. “This here’s the maternity ward, right? Where are all the other mothers?”

  “You’re looking at the only one, I reckon. That little black-haired gal went home this morning, and I can’t say I’m sorry. She like to worried me to death…always whining about her burning stitches or what-not. I sure feel sorry for her husband; he’s gonna have two babies to take care of.” I gave Jake a sharp look. “And speaking of babies, you just missed seeing yours. The nurse picked her up and took her to the nursery not more than a minute ago.”

  Jake shrugged. “Bad timing, I reckon.”

  I stared at him a moment. “You’re disappointed, aren’t you, Jake? That you didn’t get a boy this time?”

  Instead of answering me, he strolled over to the window and looked out. “’Pears like it’s gonna snow again. I reckon I ought to hit the road and head back to Bowling Green.”

  “You have to go back? I thought the factory was giving you a few days off?”

  “They are. But I told Jinx I’d go over the insurance papers with her to make sure they’re all in order.” He turned away from the window and met my gaze. “She’s barely holding it together, Lily Rae. I just hate seeing her so tore up.”

  “I know.” I nodded glumly. “I do, too. Jake, you’re doing a real sweet thing—helping her out like this. I wish they’d let me out of the hospital so I could do something.”

  “You’ll be out by the weekend.”

  “I know.” I gave an exasperated sigh. “But I’m so dadburn bored. I don’t know why they won’t let me go home sooner. I feel fine.”

  My labor had been a little longer with Kathy Kay than it had been with Debby Ann, but the ordeal hadn’t been all that bad. Not nearly as bad as when the dentist had to pull those two teeth loosened when Jake knocked out my front one. We’d arrived at the hospital in Columbia just after 1:00 PM, and Kathy Kay was born just before suppertime.

  “Well, I’d better head on out,” Jake said, glancing longingly at the door. “Especially if there’s snow on the way.”

  “You aren’t going to stop by the nursery and see Kathy Kay?”

  “I’ll look in on her at the window.” He gave me a wink. “I reckon I’ll get to know her when she comes home.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip. “Jake, I’m sorry…I know how much you wanted a boy.” Even as I said it, I felt ashamed. I wasn’t sorry. Not really. Kathy Kay was a sweetie-pie. But I couldn’t help but wonder if Jake would show more interest in his children if he had a boy.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “There’s always next time.” He came over to the bed and brushed his lips against my forehead. “I probably won’t make it back here until day after tomorrow.”

  I reached out for his arm as he turned to go. “Jake, do me a favor, huh? I have a stack of library books sitting on the end table in the living room. Can you bring them on Thursday? I need something to read.” I didn’t add that Peyton Place was one of them. I’d purposely placed it on the bottom of the stack before we’d left for Russell Springs. Maybe he’d just bring them without looking at them. I was dying to get back to the exciting story about the tiny New England town.

  Jake nodded and pulled away. “I’ll try to remember.”

  ***

  Of course, he didn’t remember.

  He arrived empty-handed on Thursday afternoon—not like the husband of the Doris Day look-a-like in the next bed who’d shown up this morning with a big bouquet of fresh roses and a two-pound box of Whitman’s Chocolates. The labor & delivery staff had rolled “Doris” into the ward about ten o’clock on Tuesday night after she gave birth to a ten-pound baby boy—quite a feat since the new mama wasn’t any bigger than a minute. I’d guessed it was a first baby even before the mother told me so. That was evident by the proud grin on the daddy’s face and the melting look in his eyes when he held his new son--a look I’d never seen on Jake’s face. Not once.

  And because of that, I wasn’t in the best of moods. “Where are my books?” I asked, knowing and not caring that I sounded grumpy after he bestowed a perfunctory kiss on my lips.

  A pained look crossed his face. “Oh, damn, Lily! I clean forgot about them.”

  I bit back my exasperation. One little favor! “Doris” over there got chocolates and roses, and I couldn’t even get my blame library books to help me pass the time in this lonely old mausoleum!

  Well, I reminded myself, Jake had a lot on his mind, helping out poor Jinx with her affairs and taking care of things around the house while I was gone. Still, the mean little voice in my mind just wouldn’t stay quiet. It’s not like he’s got a lot to do. I’d left the house spick and span before the trip to Russell Springs, and Mother, of course, was taking care of Debby Ann. So why was it so hard for Jake to follow through on my one little request?

  He didn’t stay long. Shortly after his arrival, the nurses brought in the babies, and he held Kathy Kay for a few minutes after I fed her. But as soon as they were taken back to the nursery, he became so fidgety and bored-looking that I finally snapped, “Why don’t you just go on home, Jake. It’s clear you don’t want to be here.”

  And to my complete disgust, he stood and gave a big yawn. “Well, to tell you the truth, I think I will go on back to Opal Springs and take a nap before Mama gets supper on the table. I haven’t been sleeping too good…” He gave me a wink. “…without you in the bed.”

  Well…” I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t hide a smile. It wasn’t often Jake threw me a bone like that. But still, I had to get in another shot. “You might want to stop in at Mother and Daddy’s and see how your daughter is doing. Daddy brought Mother by to see me yesterday, but Debby Ann had to stay with Norry down in the waiting room. I know the poor little thing is missing us.”

  “Yeah, I’ll try to do that.” He leaned down to give me a kiss. “I’ll stop by here tomorrow sometime. You take care, hear?”

  “Yeah,” I muttered. “What else have I got to do?” I glanced over at the other occupied bed, and saw the doting couple with their heads close together, chatting softly. A wave of jealousy swept through me. Why can’t my man look at me that way? The woman looked up and caught my gaze, and embarrassed, I turned away, but not before noting the look of pity on her face. Even a stranger could tell how disinterested Jake was in his wife and new daughter.

  When I looked back at the door, he was already gone. I threw back the covers on the bed and swung my legs over the side. If I didn’t get out of this ward for a few minutes, I’d surely lose my mind. Besides, “Romeo & Juliet” over there was making me feel nauseous. Drawing on my robe, I stepped into my slippers and shuffled down toward the nurse’s station.

  As I passed a small supply room, I heard a giggle, and glanced inside. My cheeks grew warm as I recognized Pat-Peaches’ little sister, pressed up against a counter by a handsome man in surgical scrubs. He was laughing down at her, one hand caressing a long red curl that had escaped from her French roll.

  I looked away and quickened my step. Apparently, little Enola was following in the footsteps of her big hussy sister. Still, there had been something really romantic about the scene. It was almost as if Enola had stars in her eyes as she gazed up at the handsome doctor.

  And that gave me an idea.

  At the nurse’s station, I asked if someone could find me a notebook and a pen. Seconds later, I
was on my way back to the ward, the items in hand. Back in bed, I thought for a moment and then wrote on the first page of the notebook:

  The Healing Love—A Nurse Romance

  By

  Lily Rae Tatlow

  And then I began to write, the words flowing from my brain through my fingertips and onto the lined paper like the fresh, clear water of Opal Springs as it emptied into the pond.

  ***

  “Do you know what happened to my library books?” I looked over at Jake from where I sat at the kitchen table, feeding Kathy Kay her bottle.

  I’d noticed the books were missing as soon as I’d stepped into the house after my discharge from the hospital, but I just figured Jake had moved them for some reason. But when I couldn’t find them anywhere in the house, I finally decided I might as well come right out and ask him.

  “Mommy, when can I hold the baby?” Debby Ann asked, standing at my elbow. Instead of being jealous as I figured she might be, she seemed fascinated with her new baby sister.

  “Later, maybe. She’s eating now,” I said, then looked back at Jake. “Did you hear me, Jake?”

  He looked up from the tuna casserole Jinx had brought over for my first night home from the hospital—a meal I was sure had come from one of the mourners at the funeral. I hoped it was still safe to eat.

  He took his time chewing his food and following it with a gulp of milk before answering my question. “I took them back to the library,” he said finally.

  I stared at him. “You did what? But…you told me…you said you forgot them.”

  He shrugged. “I lied.” Then he skewered me with his eyes. “Lily Rae, I wasn’t about to bring that trash into a hospital. That’s nothing but smut you’re reading. Especially that Peyton Place. I’ve heard about that filthy book, and I’ll be damned if I let my wife read trash like that, especially out in public.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. I felt my blood start to simmer, but forced myself to remain calm. Turning to Debby Ann, I said, “Sweetie, why don’t you go watch TV for a while, and as soon as Kathy Kay here is done eating, I’ll bring her in and let you hold her.”

  Debby Ann’s face brightened, and squealing with delight, she ran out of the room. I waited for the sound of the TV coming on, and then looked back at Jake. “What I read is smut, you say? Well, what do you call them detective stories you read? The ones with the gory pictures of women’s naked bodies with their blood splashed all over the place? Or what about them girly magazines I sometimes find under our bed? You know the ones I’m talking about—the ones with the naked girls and the dirty stories about sex. If you ask me, Jake Tatlow, those are pretty damn smutty! They make Peyton Place look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.”

  Jake put down his fork and pushed his plate away. “Big difference,” he said. “I’m a man, and everybody knows men like stuff like that. But a lady…” He looked at me. “…which is what you’re supposed to be…should have higher standards. Besides, you’re raising up two daughters. You want to set a good example for them.”

  I stared at him for a long moment, totally flabbergasted. And then I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of Jake preaching about good examples. This, from the man who’d brought a slut into our home to give me sex lessons.

  “Well, you know what?” I drew the nipple from Kathy Kay’s lips and placed the bottle on the table. Positioning the baby against my shoulder, I gently patted her back to burp her. “It doesn’t matter a bit about the library books. I can always check them out again. Besides…” I looked Jake square in the eyes. “I’ve started writing my own book. And yeah, you just might call it smut, but I call it a nurse romance. And I wrote three whole chapters on it in the hospital.” I gave him a triumphant look, just daring him to shoot me down.

  “You’re kidding, right?” he said.

  I shook my head. “Not even a little bit. And you know what else? When I’m finished with it, I’m going to get it published…turned into a real book. You just wait and see if I don’t.”

  As if adding an exclamation mark to that statement, Kathy Kay let out a gigantic burp.

  “Good girl,” I said, and got up from the table. “I reckon you’ll take care of the dishes.” It was a statement, not a question.

  Without waiting for a response, I walked out of the room.

  ***

  “Just as I expected. Crap. Pure crap.”

  His voice came from far away. I felt something flutter against my face. I dragged myself from a dream, already half-forgotten, and opened my eyes to see Jake standing over the bed.

  He gave me a mean grin and dropped another sheet of notebook paper on my face. “I wouldn’t use this to wipe my ass.”

  Realizing what he was talking about, I scrambled up to a seated position and began to gather up the notebook sheets of my novel he’d already dropped. “How dare you!” I sputtered. “You had no right to read that. How did you even find it?”

  His grin widened. “There’s only so many places you can hide something in this little house, Lily. A shoebox in the closet? Not very original.”

  My eyes burned with tears. “Why are you so dad-blasted mean? It’s something for me, don’t you get that? Something that ain’t got anything to do with you and them babies in there. It’s just for me. And all you want to do is tear it down.”

  “Aw, come on, Lily Rae. You can’t really believe someone will actually publish that syrupy pig-slop, do you? If you do, you’re more of a fool than I ever thought.” He turned away with a look of disgust. Then he whipped back around. “What makes you think you can write a book, anyhow? You’re just a little hillbilly out of Russell County…barely graduated from high school. You ain’t got no training to write books!”

  Tears of fury flowed down my face. “What do you mean, barely graduated from high school? I was a B-average student. Just got C’s in math and science. Anyhow, it’s more than you did! And maybe I don’t have any training in writin’ books. But that don’t mean I can’t try. And what has Russell County got to do with it? Look at Janice Holt Giles over in Knifley? That’s Adair County, I know, but close enough. She’s got probably a half-dozen books out, and she doesn’t live more than a few miles from Opal Springs.”

  He shook his head and began to unbutton his shirt. “She wasn’t born and raised here. She’s not a hillbilly like you. Face it, Lily Rae. You’re not ever gonna be nothing more than what you are right now. A mother and a housewife. So you might as well get used to it.” He turned to the door, muttering, “That damn Betty Kelly…putting foolish notions in your head.”

  Over in the corner of the bedroom, Kathy Kay began to fuss in her bassinet. It was time for her three o’clock feeding. Jake grinned. “And there’s your wake-up call, Mama.”

  My tears had dried by the time Jake left for work a few hours later. When I staggered into the kitchen to warm up a bottle for Kathy Kay’s morning feeding, I saw the dirty dishes on the counter, and the remnants of last night’s meal still on the table.

  I stood staring at the mess for a long moment, wanting to do nothing more than sink to the floor and bawl my eyes out. Instead, I turned and plodded back to the bedroom, pulling open my lingerie drawer. Digging beneath the bras and panties, I pulled out the rumpled pile of notebook paper I’d retrieved from the bed a few hours before. Taking them back into the living room, I carefully opened the door of the black pot-bellied stove with its briskly burning fire, and threw the pile of papers inside. I closed the door, and stood there a moment, listening to the sizzle of the flames, feeling a curious detachment. Not at all like I thought I should feel at the death of my dream.

  I peeked in on Kathy Kay and saw she’d gone back to sleep. Then I turned and went into the kitchen to do the dishes.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  August 1960

  Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

  Looking up from my book, I lifted my sunglasses to check on Debby Ann and Kathy Kay, making sure they hadn’t broken my rule and wandered out past ankle-deep surf.
Those two little dickens were braver than smart in the water, and oh, they did love the ocean. Had, since they’d caught their first sight of it four days ago.

  Much to my relief, neither child was in the water right now. Debby Ann was on her knees in an eddying pool of seawater, building another sandcastle, and Kathy Kay, who’d turned three in January, sat at the edge of the surf, her tanned little legs stretched out seaward, a look of intense concentration on her fine-boned face as she sifted through the wet sand.

  I smiled and returned to To Kill a Mockingbird, one of the best books I’d ever read in my life. On the blanket next to me, a transistor radio played The Everly Brother’s “Cathy’s Clown.” I thought about calling to Kathy Kay that her favorite song was on, but decided against it. It would just make Debby Ann mad, and she’d start in about how come the radio didn’t play any songs about her. Besides, the heat of the afternoon sun had made me feel so lazy, I wasn’t sure I could summon up the energy to use my voice.

  Instead, I reached for my can of Coke and took a sip, grimacing at how warm it had become. I thought about sending Debby Ann back to the cottage to get me a cold one, but decided against that, too. It was after four, and we’d soon have to go in anyway, and get showered and try to decide what to do about supper. Maybe Jake would take us out to eat. We’d been barbecuing every evening except the night we arrived, and I was getting sick and tired of undercooked hamburgers and charred hotdogs.

  I still couldn’t believe I’d actually talked him into coming here to Myrtle Beach for vacation this year. It was the first real vacation we’d ever had, if you didn’t count those two days we’d spent in the Smoky Mountains a few years back, and that one overnight trip to Nashville to see the Grand Old Opry. Of course, I hadn’t dared mention to Jake that Chad and Pat-Peaches lived here.