“Okay, let me take a sip and then start from the beginning,” Brooke says a little breathless.
I sit here and watch as she takes one long sip, places her mug back down on the table, leans back and looks at me with wide eyes. A part of me wonders if I need to go back to the start. Do I need to tell her that we lost our virginities to each other? Does that really matter in this situation?
“Let me rewind a few years for you, and you have to promise to not be upset about not knowing this, okay?”
“Okay.”
“That last week Paxton was at school with us, we slept together for the first time. It was both of our first time.”
“I knew it,” she exclaims as she leans over the table closer.
“Knew what?”
“I knew you hadn’t had sex before, not that I’m judging, but I’m surprised he hadn’t. I also knew that you two did the deed.”
“How did you know about us?”
“From the way you two acted all the way up until he left. He started looking at you different those last few days. It was… Let me see, how do I explain this? Oh, I know… Like he’s seen you naked.”
“Okay, let’s not focus on that. Can we focus on last night and this email?” I ask as I open my phone and show her his email from this morning. I sip my coffee as Brooke reads. She hands me back my phone and leans back. I can tell she’s processing it, preparing her words.
“I say you see what he has to say, Annabelle. Give him the chance to tell you what he needs to, and see where it goes.”
“What if it turns out bad? I don’t think I can take that chance. What if we decide to try this and it doesn’t work out? Then I have no Pax at all.”
“Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”
“Today, no. Tomorrow, maybe? I don’t know. I admit that I love him, but I’m not sure if I love Paxton because he’s been in my life since I was ten years old, or… Is Paxton my true soul mate?”
“How about we don’t make any rash choices today. When Paxton calls, listen and tell him that you two will talk about this when he returns. That you can’t make a choice over email or a phone call.”
“That’s a good way to detour the conversation. Especially since I have no idea when he’ll be back.”
“You’re welcome,” she says in a way that makes it seem she just solved all the problems of the world. I can’t help but laugh at her expression.
“How was last night after we left?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“It was good. I think Miranda sprinted home with one of Jace’s friends, and let me tell you—that Jace can dance.”
“I bet, plus it doesn’t hurt how sexy he is,” I say and feel my cheeks burn.
“Watch yourself with that one,” is all she says, and I know exactly what she’s hinting at. We sit for another hour, laughing about this weekend and how out of the norm it was for me. Not just the whole Paxton situation, but the fact that I went out two nights in a row. That’s the first in years; hell, if I’m honest it’s been at least six months since I’ve gone out period. Most of my days and nights are spent working. You wouldn’t think that a matchmaker’s job would be busy, but everyone wants to find love. If I’m not interviewing new clients, scheduling updates and dates—for that matter, I’m doing paperwork. Brooke and I say our goodbyes and part in front of my apartment. As I’m heading upstairs, I run into Jace.
“Hey,” he says with a grin.
“Hi, how are you? I heard you guys had a late night?”
“Good, and yes, we did. How are you today?”
“Tired, going to catch up on some work and rest today.”
“Same here, guess I’ll catch ya later.”
“Sure,” I say as I offer a wave before walking away.
I can’t help but wonder about him. He’s handsome and single, I think. He seems to have some good qualities, but even with that, I’m not attracted to him. I can foresee us being friends. Maybe that’s my problem—I have too many guy friends and not enough experience in the love department. I can count the number of guys I’ve dated on both hands and less than that for sexual partners.
When I finally settle for the rest of the day, I decide to respond to Paxton’s email. I’ve already researched our time difference and know that he’s still on his long flight.
* * *
RE: SUBJECT: Last Night
* * *
Pax,
I’ve read your email several times, trying to find the right words to respond with. You know this is not me, that I always have something to say to you, but all I can find is the following. I’m confused and scared.
Why am I confused? Well, everything about this weekend confuses me. We can’t go back to before, as I think both of us know that something shifted between us. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I don’t have the answer to that either. Why am I scared? That’s simple. No matter what happens, I can’t lose you from my life. You mean more to me than anything in my life. If I have to choose between love and friendship, I need you to know that I’ll forever choose friendship. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see where we could go; it just means I’ll be cautious with our future.
Have safe travels, and I look forward to hearing what you have to say to me soon.
Love always,
O
Chapter Thirteen
Paxton
RE: SUBJECT: PAXTON WEST Resignation Letter
Paxton,
I’ve been waiting for this email from you for some time now. You’ve been the longest person in the history of this company to continue on the path that you have. I have to say that it does sadden my heart to read your words, but I was prepared. With all that, I have to ask that you hold off until we can replace you. Do note that we have a packed schedule over the next few months, and I hope that I can count on you and your devotion to the job. I promise to start looking tomorrow morning for a bright and young replacement. In the meantime, continue with your work as I secure your position back in the States.
Are you ready for a desk job?
Let me know what I can do to help with your transition. I look forward to seeing your new direction.
Sincerely,
Howard Bradford
I must’ve read his response a million times. A part of me was expecting him to say he was planning this, but what I wasn’t ready for—was not having an immediate replacement. This could take months. Months that I’m not sure I have when it comes to Belle. I glance to the time on the computer and figure out what time it is in New York. It’s taken seventeen hours to get here, and I’m eight hours ahead of Belle. We don’t plan to head up into the mountains until tomorrow. Allowing me to get some rest and try to beat the jet lag that I’m currently suffering from. That’s the biggest part of this job that I hate. I never know what time zone I’m in. My body will adjust just as I’m about to board another flight.
When Belle’s email came through, I held my breath before reading it. To my surprise, it was written just the way I knew she would. Belle would never jeopardize the two of us, that’s why no matter what I do I have to prove to her that we will work. She’s one person I can’t lose. Instead of replying to either of them, I close my computer. Lying down on the hard mattress, my mind shifts back to lying next to Belle.
Chapter Fourteen
Annabelle
Just when I thought things were going to change between Paxton and me, I realize they aren’t. It’s been four weeks, and I haven’t heard from him. No phone call. No email. No text. I know it’s not because of him not wanting to contact me, it’s because he’s in some mountain across the world and I doubt they have cell service or Wi-Fi, for that matter. Hell, I’m not even sure if that’s where he still is. I’m pretty sure it is as Paxton has always contacted me before his next location. In the meantime, all I’ve done is work and sleep. I’ve even been avoiding Brooke and Miranda as I don’t have the energy to entertain them. The one person I’ve not been able to avoid is Jace. Seems he never has m
ilk in his apartment, and he has a craving for pizza about three times a week. Which works for me since I never cook and he shows up with an extra-large meat lovers for the both of us. In the last four weeks, Jace has become a close friend and not once made a daring move toward me. Brooke and Miranda have expressed their opinion on this matter. Both feeling strongly that I need to play it safe around him and make sure that Paxton understands that we’re friends and only friends.
Just as I go to crawl in bed, there’s a knock on the door. Grumbling, I make my way to it, look through the peephole and see the smiling face of Jace on the other side. Welcoming him in, I take a whiff of the pizza and feel my stomach roll as if it just took a trip on a massive roller coaster.
Running away with my hand covering my mouth, I make it to the bathroom in just enough time. I’m not sure what’s come over me as I lie here on the floor for a moment praying that this is the last of being sick. The one thing I can’t deal with is throwing up or being nauseous. Standing, I rinse my mouth before splashing water on my face. Lost in my own world, I didn’t hear my phone ring until I walk back out to see Jace on FaceTime with Paxton.
“Yeah, here she is,” Jace says as he hands me my phone. I put on a fake smile as I’m still not feeling well.
“Hi, where are you?” I ask as I notice the green mountains behind him.
“You okay? We’re still here in Ethiopia. The weather has been shit, and it’s been hard to get all the shots I needed.”
“Wow, it looks beautiful,” I respond with.
“Are you sick? You look pale, and Jace said you were in the bathroom sick.”
“I think I might’ve gotten a bug. I’ve been tired, but the smell of the pizza made me sick.”
“Go to the doctor tomorrow. You know how you get when you get sick.”
“I know,” I say as I quickly excuse myself from Jace and head to my bedroom. I’m not sure where our conversation is going to go, but I feel that this needs to be done behind closed doors.
Paxton must notice immediately that I’m in my room. “What’s Jace doing there?”
“Calm down, we’re friends and he brought over dinner, which I have a feeling I won’t be eating.”
“So you two are hanging out these days?”
“Yes, we’re friends. When are you coming home?”
“That’s why I was calling. We have another few days here before I have to head to the Yucatan Peninsula.”
“Oh,” is all I can muster up to say as I hide the frown on my face.
“I was hoping to have more time, but it looks like the crew’s ready to move. This was the first sign of cell service, and I wanted to see your face.”
I nod as I agree with him, unable to say anything else as I still feel tired.
“Get some rest, Belle, and go see a doctor. I’ll be home soon, okay.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, I love you.”
“Love you too,” I say as the call is disconnected. It’s weird that our love you still feels the same as it has for our lifetime. It’s not new, it’s just us. Pushing myself up from my bed, I pad back out to Jace. “You okay? Need anything?” Jace asks with worry laced through his voice.
“Yeah, just tired I think.”
“Alright, well I left you some food and put it in the microwave. I’m going to head home so you can rest.”
“Thanks.”
“How’s Paxton?”
“Seems okay, he looked a little tired himself.”
“That’s what he said. Sorry for answering your phone, but I saw his name pop up and you’ve been waiting for him to call. Didn’t want you to miss it.”
“No, thank you. I appreciate it. That’s been the first call since Paxton’s been gone.”
“Belle, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” I answer as I turn my head to figure out if I can tell what he’s about to ask.
“Does he know that I’m not interested in you?”
“What? Why would you ask that? Did he say something?” I ask, but wonder why he wouldn’t be interested in me? I’m cute, but I guess with Jace being a male model he only wants a stick figure who can match his stride down the runway.
“No, but I could tell he wasn’t happy to see my mug on the other end of that call.”
“I can let him know if you need me to, but he’s not said anything.”
“Just for the record, if he wants to join my side, I’d be all over him.”
“I’m so confused right now. What does that even mean?”
“Belle, you’re cute and all, but let’s just say Paxton is more my type,” he says with a wink and a little flare in his hands. It dawns on me and I can’t help but smile and nod, letting him know I understand what he’s saying. Okay, now that he’s let that cat out of the bag, I totally see it now.
“Cool. Well, if you need something just text me.”
“Thanks again, Jace. I’ll see you later,” I say before closing the door and locking up. I pass through the rest of the house, turning off all the lights as I make my way back to my bed. That’s the only place I want to be. I fall asleep dreaming of a life with Paxton. The two of us married, babies running around the backyard, and me driving a minivan.
Chapter Fifteen
Paxton
We finally came down the mountain low enough that our phones work. I could’ve used the satellite phone to check in, but I wanted the opportunity to see Belle’s face. What I wasn’t ready for was for Jace to answer Belle’s phone. Not to mention, for him to be the one with her while she’s sick. The moment we disconnected our call, I emailed Howard, my boss, asking when my replacement will be ready. Howard’s been dragging his feet I’m sure. He needs to understand that the longer I’m away, the more chances Jace has with Belle. A sinking feeling causes me to drop to my seat. Running my hands through my now shaggy hair, I grip the strands tight within my hands. Looking back down at my phone that’s resting on the foldup table before me, I open it to text Brooke. I know she’ll tell me what’s going on and check up on Belle for me.
Me: Brooke, I need a favor. Yes, I’ve just called Belle first, by the way. She’s sick and that guy Jace answered her phone. What’s going on?
Waiting for her response is like waiting for the last number in a Keno game to be called so you can claim your winning ticket.
Brooke: I didn’t know she was sick. She’s been sleeping a lot. I’ll check on her! Oh, and for the record, she and Jace are friends. What???? Are you jealous????
Me: Thanks for checking on her, make her go to the doctor. For the record, I’m more than just jealous… I’m fucking dying with jealousy over here.
Brooke: Good, you need to be. Hurry home and make our girl happy.
Me: I’m trying. Keep me posted. We don’t have excellent service here so it might be awhile before I can respond.
Brooke: Figures and will do. Be safe, Paxton.
Before checking back with the crew, I stand up and walk over toward the edge of the mountain. We were up at the highest peak of Ras Dashen which is said to be four thousand five hundred meters up in the sky. Even though my crew and I struggled with the inclement weather, the geladas “Bleeding Heart” begged to be photographed. We’ve been able to observe them grazing on the grass, massive herds that would range up to a thousand. I have to admit that through all my travels this might have ranked up with one of the top experiences. Each day our local guide would point out certain things that the groups would be doing. Explain how they’re forgotten and lost in the shuffle of species. How when they sleep they disappear over the edges of the cliffs, staying safe from predators that lurk in the night. In the daylight, all you had to do was listen for the falsetto cries, barks, and soft grunts.
“Mr. West, we’re ready when you are.” The voice behind me brings me out of my thoughts as I turn and walk toward the young man waiting for me.
We only have a few days here before the next adventure. With all my photographs taken, I plan to use this time as an observation
day. Taking in the surroundings and learning from the locals about the forgotten creature.
Chapter Sixteen
Annabelle
I’m not sure how many days have passed now that I’ve not been able to move in the mornings. I think I’m on day five. Five days of misery when I get up, then it goes away until the nighttime hours land upon me. I’ve officially made a doctor appointment to get some antibiotics. Yesterday I was ready to give up on life until Jace showed up with chicken broth and crackers. Brooke and Miranda have checked on me daily, sometimes multiple times throughout the daylight hours. I agreed to this doctor appointment as all three are officially now worried about me. In the past, I’ve been pretty healthy. Catching the yearly bug that goes around, but able to bounce right back after a few days. This time, it’s lingering and has none of the usual systems like a fever. If I could only get a fever, I wouldn’t worry as much as not having one.
Dressed in nothing but yoga pants, a t-shirt, and zip-up jacket with my running shoes on, I enter the doctor’s office. Killing time, I open my phone and open the browser. Typing in Paxton’s next location to the Yucatan Peninsula, I scroll through looking at pictures. Knowing that Paxton will capture some of the best ones with his lens, I barely register the moment my name’s called. Standing up, I slow my stride as the room tilts to the left a little. Blowing out a breath of air, I put one foot forward and meet the nurse with a half smile.
“Ms. Quinn, follow me.”
We go through the typical process. Weight, blood pressure, temperature, and the million questions that they have to ask. My next stop is the restroom where I’m instructed to use the little clear plastic cup. This is the part I hate. I have no idea who came up with these small cups. I mean, I’m not a dude who can point and shoot like a pro gunslinger. At times this can be messy, all while wondering if I captured enough for them to use. Satisfied with my collection, I wipe the cup and place it down so I can wash my hands before handing it back to the nurse. The nurse places me in a room, explaining that the doctor will be with me shortly. Hopping up on the table, I set my hands in my lap and wait.
Tic Tac Love Page 7
