And then his lips were claiming hers and Abbey’s mouth was opening beneath his to acknowledge his claim. This was so right. So… so meant. Like the turtle they’d been looking for since childhood and had finally found. They’d known they would find her. And maybe… maybe Abbey had always known this was her place. Here was her home. Ryan’s arms were where she was meant to be. Like the turtle, this was a miracle searched for and found.
Ryan…
Ryan’s hands were falling to her waist. Somehow they were no longer sitting, but settling deeper into their sandy hollow so their bodies were cocooned against each other. The sand, warm from the heat of a day of tropical sun, welcomed and embraced them. Above them were the moon and the stars and the night sky. And holding them all together was her Ryan.
Ryan…
Abbey returned his kiss, gently at first but then with increasing fierceness-possessiveness. Ryan was hers. Hers! What right had he had to go away and leave her all those years ago? What right had he to marry Felicity?
The thought of Felicity flashed into Abbey’s mind but she shoved it away as her hands wound themselves around Ryan’s broad shoulders and her breasts pushed against his chest. Dear God, she wanted him. Ryan…
Felicity.
The thought flashed back again. Abbey shoved it away with everything she possessed-but the thought wouldn’t go.
It wouldn’t
Felicity.
And Ryan felt it.
Wondering, Ryan drew back a little in the moonlight.
‘Abbey?’ he said, and his voice was a husky murmur, laced with desire. ‘Love?’
‘Felicity,’ she said flatly.
Silence.
Abbey pushed Ryan back and rolled sideways in the sand. She stood, uncertain, refusing to look at Ryan. Refusing to look at her love.
‘T-take me home, Ryan,’ she said softly. ‘I think… we must both have been mad. You’re engaged to Felicity, remember? ’
Deny it, her heart was screaming, but Ryan didn’t. Instead, he stood and looked gravely down at her. When he spoke again his voice was harsh and bleak.
‘As you say. We’ve both run mad. Gone troppo has meaning after all.’
And that was that. End of evening.
‘Help me hide the turtle tracks before we go,’ Abbey managed, staring out to sea. Concentrating on anything but the pain in her heart.
There was something else to concentrate on. The eggs must be protected. There were all sorts of predators who’d see the turtle’s furrow before the tide came back in. The best disguise was simply to make more furrows-so it looked like the sand had been disturbed by a party of revellers rather than one solitary turtle. And put plenty of human scents around to deflect interest
Ryan nodded. Like Abbey, he was searching for something to say. Something to do that didn’t touch the jumble of his emotions. He left Abbey and retrieved a huge piece of dried seaweed. Silently he started raking it back and forth across the sand.
For a long moment Abbey watched him, and then silently started to do the same.
There were shadows haunting Ryan, she thought bleakly, and one of those shadows was her. She could feel Ryan’s desire. But she knew… Well, Abbey knew his mother and she knew Felicity. She knew what she was up against.
Finally they finished and made their way back to the car.
‘There are a group of turtle-watchers in town,’ Abbey managed as they settled back in the car for the drive home.
Her voice was flat and desolate. She was no longer excited about the turtle. She just wanted to get home. Get to the sanctuary of her pillows so she could hide her head and have a good howl. ‘I’ll let them know where the eggs are. They’ll work out the gestation period and set up a watch when they’re due.’
If they could, the turtle-watchers would try to be here when the eggs hatched. The journey from the nest to the sea was the most hazardous the turtles would face. Often almost all the tiny hatchlings were eaten by gulls and other predators before they reached the water.
‘I’d love to be here when they hatch,’ Abbey added.
Silence.
‘If I can I’ll send you a photograph,’ Abbey offered, and Ryan’s gut clenched into an almost unbearable ache.
She’d send him a photograph to put on the wall in his office. So he could remember this night always.
He couldn’t bear it.
Felicity was on the telephone when Ryan arrived back at his father’s farm. She greeted him with a cool smile, a lift of her eyebrows and a wave to the coffee-pot.
Ryan obliged. He made her coffee and then sat and waited for his love to finish speaking to New York.
His love?
His future.
He should be working, too, he told himself. He was running so far behind. And tonight… tonight he’d spent the whole night watching a turtle. What a waste!
Yeah?
If he told her, Felicity would agree it was a waste. His colleagues back in New York would think it was a waste.
Or maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe they’d be as jealous as hell.
‘What’s the time in New York?’ he asked when Felicity finally finished her phone call. She was typing furiously into her lap-top computer and clearly had no time for small talk.
‘About eleven mid-morning. What kept you? Did you find your suicide, then?’ It was only half a question. When Felicity worked she committed herself absolutely. It was one of the things Ryan admired about her. She had a brilliant mind, a brilliant body and…
And?
He gave himself a mental shake. What the hell was he thinking of? There was no ‘and’. Felicity was everything he needed in a woman.
Everything he wanted?
‘We found him,’ he said grimly. ‘He has AIDS.’
Felicity frowned. ‘Was the suicide successful?’
‘No. Close, but we found him in time. We resuscitated him.’
‘Ryan!’ Suddenly he had all Felicity’s attention. She stared up at him, appalled. ‘Ryan, I hope you took precautions.’
‘We used a mask.’
‘And gloves? Ryan, for heaven’s sake, resuscitating AIDS patients is not your job. If that’s what Abbey wants to do, fine, but to haul you in… She has no right.’
No. She didn’t Abbey had no right to ask anything of him at all.
And the thought of her not having that right made Ryan sick at heart.
Abbey was his friend.
With a huge mental shake Ryan managed to shove the thought of Abbey aside-the thought of Abbey in his arms-yielding her slim body to his. Clinging to him. Welcoming his kiss as if it was right.
She was lovely, but Abbey wasn’t his future. She couldn’t be. Abbey was a widow and a mother and she had obligations up to her neck. Someone like Abbey would fit into his New York life like a fish out of water.
He shrugged-and turned to phone New York.
Turned to get on with his life.
CHAPTER NINE
AT EIGHT the next morning there were three doctors in Sapphire Cove hospital, and Sister Eileen Roderick was enjoying herself.
‘I’m sorry, Doctors, but I don’t have enough nursing staff to accompany each of you on ward rounds,’ she said primly. ‘I can offer one of you Ted. but otherwise you’ll have to share.’
‘How about if Dr Wittner goes back on honeymoon where she’s supposed to be?’ Ryan said darkly, glowering at Abbey. Abbey was dressed in a soft blue dress that exactly matched her eyes, her curls were bouncing and shining and she looked altogether too pretty for words.
‘How about if Dr Henry goes back to New York?’ Abbey retorted, flushing. Ryan Henry looked too darned handsome for his own good. Or for her peace of mind. And how on earth could she concentrate on anything other than the memory of that kiss?
‘Well, I’m not going back to Cairns,’ Steve interjected. ’This place is too much fun.’
Both Abbey and Ryan turned to stare at Steve.
‘Excuse me?’ Ryan said. ‘I practically had to b
lackmail you to get you here.’
Then it was Steve’s turn to flush.
‘Yeah, well, I’m enjoying myself,’ he admitted sheepishly. ‘Medicine’s a bit dry when it’s only books. I think I might be about to make another career change.’
‘Well, how about a spot of nursing?’ Eileen suggested. ‘We’re short a few, and doctors seem to be thick on the ground around here. Let’s divvy up our patients, shall we? How will we work it? Draw straws?’
In the end they didn’t need to. Abbey agreed she really only needed to visit Ian Miller and Janet to keep herself happy-then she’d go back to Jack and her cows. Ryan’s father was due to be ambulanced back to Sapphire Cove within the next hour and Ryan wanted to be at the hospital when his father arrived. He volunteered for morning ward round. That left Steve free to read the morning newspapers and then take morning surgery.
Abbey went to see Janet, shaking her head in bewilderment. To have too many doctors…
Steve Pryor was thinking the same thing.
‘You don’t want to pay me off and have me leave, do you?’ Steve asked Ryan as Abbey disappeared down the corridor. Steve’s voice was a trifle anxious. ‘I mean… you wanted me here for four weeks, right?’
‘Yeah, well… ’ Ryan was watching Abbey walk away, and he hardly heard.
‘Ryan, Abbey’s coming back to work on Monday,’ Steve went on slowly, following Ryan’s gaze. ‘I thought… Wasn’t the idea that I’d help her out for a couple more weeks but we wouldn’t see you here after Monday? You’ll be off, getting married and looking after your dad.’
‘That’s right.’ Ryan was still gazing at the now empty corridor.
Steve wasn’t stupid. He was putting one and two together. Or one and one. And one and one makes two…
There was only one thing to do here. If you want to know something badly enough then ask. Steve squared his shoulders. And asked.
‘Ryan, am I imagining things here, or do you fancy working with Abbey yourself?’
‘What?’ Ryan turned reluctantly to stare at Steve. ‘No.’
‘So…’ Steve put his head on one side, considering. ‘You just like the work-is that it?’ The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. ‘Well, if that’s the case, you won’t mind if I ask Abbey out to dinner over the weekend.’
Ryan stared. ‘You and Abbey…’
‘Me and Abbey…’
‘Hell!’
And then silence.
The corners of Steve’s mouth curved all the way into laughter. He now knew all he needed to know.
‘Gotcha,’ he said lightly, and grinned. ‘Don’t worry, Ryan. In fact, there’s a rather special nurse who works nights who’s agreed to go out with me already. The date with Abbey line was a ruse. I just was getting vibes about you and Abbey, and thought I might put my vibes to the test.’ His grin deepened to unholy enjoyment. ‘And I was right.’
‘Steve, there’s nothing…’ Ryan was fighting to gain control again. Steve Pryor was too intelligent for his own good. He saw too darned much. ‘There’s nothing between me and Abbey. Hell, Steve, I can’t object to whoever you want to date. I’m engaged to Felicity. Remember?’
‘Yeah, I remember,’ Steve said dryly. ‘If I were you I’d do something about that. It’s likely to cause all manner of complications.’
Ian Miller looked grey.
Tucked into a side ward by himself, Ian had spent the night recovering from the effects of the gas. Ryan paused at the door and checked him over. It was no wonder he’d taken a chance and guessed AIDS. Ian might still be simply HIV positive and not have full-blown AIDS, but the man looked haggard.
Maybe he wasn’t really ill, though, Ryan thought as he did a fast visual examination. Ian was thin but not to the point of emaciation. Underneath his fear there could well be a reasonably healthy male.
Ryan knocked lightly on the door and Ian hardly stirred. ‘Hi, Ian. Finished breakfast?’ Ryan checked Ian’s barely touched tray and frowned. ‘You want to talk?’
Ian looked up wearily from his pillows and shrugged.
‘I’m here on ward round,’ Ryan told him, hauling up a chair and lowering his long frame. ‘As a good doctor, I should examine you-but I won’t if you don’t want. Any after-effects of the gas?’
‘No.’
‘Then just tell me where you’re up to with your AIDS. I assume you have a definite diagnosis? We’re not dealing with guesswork here? Full-blown AIDS or just HIV positive? ’
‘No guesswork.’ Drearily Ian outlined his history. He’d heard a friend had died of AIDS so he’d had himself tested.
The HIV positive diagnosis had been confirmed a month ago.
‘Just HIV? Not full-blown AIDS?’
‘No.’
‘Well, that’s a bonus. Have you had any counselling?’
Ian shook his head. ‘Hell, Ryan, I’m a lawyer,’ he said bleakly. ‘I don’t need counselling. I’ve watched friends die in the past.’
‘Hmm.’ Ryan nodded. ‘So… you tried suicide because you think you’re going to die horribly and die soon.’
‘Yeah, well, I would have died last night-’
‘If we hadn’t messed you around.’ Ryan smiled as Abbey appeared at the door. ‘Hey, Abbey, we’re just being accused of interfering with this man’s life. Or death. And he’s a lawyer, for heaven’s sake. Do you think he’ll sue?’
‘You’d better not,’ Abbey said warmly. She crossed to Ian’s bed, stooped and hugged Ian hard. ‘If you do I’ll tell your mother on you, Ian Miller, and she’s a force to be reckoned with. Your mum’s been worried sick, Ian. She guessed something was wrong way before this. I think you should have told her.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?’
Silence.
‘Does your mother know you’re gay?’ Ryan asked, and Ian shook his head.
‘No. That’s why, well, I live in Sydney.’
‘You don’t think it might be kinder to tell her?’
‘I don’t want people here to know,’ Ian said explosively. ‘They’re so damned judgemental.’
‘They’re not, you know,’ Abbey said softly. ‘I think you’ve forgotten all the good things about small towns, Ian Miller. You and Ryan both. You left here when you were fifteen and seventeen respectively and you’ve hardly been back since. But Sapphire Cove… Well, one of the things it’s really good at is protecting its own. You belong here, Ian. You won’t be tarred or feathered by your family when they know.’
‘How do you know?’
Abbey tilted her head. ‘Well, for a start I’d imagine many of them have guessed you’re gay already. Ryan had, and he’s working on old memories. Maybe you’re underestimating them. Tell them, and see if I’m not wrong.’
‘But AIDS… Hell, Abbey, I’m not just confessing I’m gay. I have AIDS.’
‘At the risk of repeating something that’s been said time and time again, AIDS is a word. Not a sentence,’ Abbey told him. ‘You tell him about the current treatments, Ryan.’
‘Ian, for a start you don’t have AIDS,’ Ryan said steadily, ‘you’re HIV positive. So just stop being so damned dramatic and negative and listen.’
Then Ryan outlined the treatments now favoured in the USA-and Abbey was stunned.
Ryan had certainly done his homework. This wasn’t a brief description of AIDS treatments at the superficial level most doctors could give. Some time between the time Abbey had left Ryan last night and now, Ryan had read every piece of pertinent modern literature on the current treatments and prognoses for AIDS. Ian had a sharp lawyer’s mind and he threw questions at Ryan almost faster than Abbey could think them up-and Ryan calmly answered every one.
‘Look, mate, the information you’re working on is years out of date,’ he said firmly. ‘The breakthrough in AIDS research has been monumental. You’ll no longer be treated with just the one drug. There’s a real mix. The side-effects of the combined therapies are minimal and life expectancy is increasing dramatically-to a
stage now where the medical profession is refusing to make predictions on life expectancy at all.
‘They’re cautiously optimistic that in cases like yours, where you haven’t converted to full-blown AIDS, then that conversion may never happen.’
‘A couple of years ago we were saying life expectancy was up to five years,’ he continued. ‘Now… now we don’t endline it at all. Every case is different. The life expectancy is stretching out and out and we’re hopeful that many cases like yours will never develop at all into full-blown AIDS. There’s millions being poured into AIDS funding and new breakthroughs are happening all the time.
‘Maybe, well, just maybe, given the present rate of learning, you’re more likely to get run over by a bus than to die in the next ten years from the disease you have.’
Ryan smiled.
‘And that would have been a waste of a funeral if you’d happened to bump yourself off last night-now, wouldn’t it?’
Ian stared at Ryan. His face was intent and fearful, as though he was afraid to let himself hope.
‘You’re kidding.’
‘It’s all here, mate.’ Ryan produced page after page of copious notes. ‘I thought you wouldn’t believe me so I had a colleague fax through the literature.’
Ian stared up, unbelieving. He lifted the first sheet and read. Then the second. And then he lifted the whole pile. Some of the greyness eased from his face, and all of a sudden he looked lighter and younger. A life sentence had just been lifted-and he might just choose to live.
His face clouded again.
‘My job, though,’ he said fretfully. ‘I’m a corporate lawyer for an international company. We’re required to have a full medical every year as part of our superannuation scheme. When they know, there’s no way they’ll keep me on.’
‘Then quit,’ Ryan said promptly-so promptly that Abbey blinked.
‘Yeah? And do what?’
‘Do an Abbey.’ Ryan looked across to Abbey and his smile gentled. ‘Hell, Ian, while you and I have been out in the big wide world, making our millions, Abbey’s been here holding Sapphire Cove together with a piece of string. And the locals love her for it I’ve been asking around this morning about lawyers in Sapphire Cove. There’s one. He’s about eighty and is capable of signing affidavits if someone holds his wrist and the magnifying glass-and that’s the extent of it
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