by J J Loraine
“Excuse me, ma’am. May I ask you a few questions”
Double shit.
Chapter 85
Caden
I limp into the library like a refugee.
Ah, sweet sanctuary.
The air-conditioned building feels like heaven compared to outside. I wish I could take this long-sleeve shirt off, but I can’t take the risk. I saw some cops canvasing out there. I thought I’d walked far enough away from the scene of the crime that I wouldn’t have to deal with them, yet there they were.
What the hell did I do?
I clench my fists. My knuckles hurt like hell but they’ve miraculously remained unbruised and uncut. I hit some of those guys pretty hard...
I’m sure they’ll be fine. They’ve probably taken way harder hits out on the football field. They were just drunk...
Still, I can’t fight off a creeping sense of guilt. My stomach is tying itself into knots as I look for a place to set up shop for the afternoon.
I was in a rage. I hardly remember the actual fighting, but I do remember the unbridled energy I felt. It was like being in the zone during a lacrosse game. People could slash and climb all over me, but I just somehow knew that if I kept fighting, I would come out of top.
I had to do what I did, anyways. Those goons weren’t just threatening me, but Hailey too. Why’d they have to bring her into it?
My guilt is slowly replaced by anger. Those assholes put me in this spot. Because of them, my life might be ruined. All my hard work and careful planning could go out the window because some antsy football jocks needed to get their kicks in during the offseason.
Those bastards...
I wasn’t feeling guilty anymore as I set up in a backroom booth on the third floor of the mid-sized library.
I usually don’t come to this one, because I like smaller, more personalized places to study, but it will have to do for now.
I toss my books on the desk and mentally prepare myself for hours upon hours of studying by checking my phone first.
I scroll through my feed, half-mindlessly, until I sense a pattern emerge. I start to focus.
Oh, shit...
OH, SHIT!
My fight has gone viral.
Everybody on campus is talking about it. I scroll through my feed in a panic. It seems like the student body is split on the mystery ‘vigilante’ who took out the four football players. Half are happy someone finally stood up to known bullies and the other half are raging mad that someone would dare fuck with our precious football players. They want my head on a spike for endangering next season.
Thank god they don’t know who I am... yet.
My muscles tense up as I search for an article explaining what kind of injuries the football players sustained, but my search is interrupted when my phone vibrates alive from an incoming call.
I nearly jump out of my seat, I’m so on edge.
Unknown number.
My earlier rage has subsided and I’m quickly flooded with more anxiety than I’ve felt in years. I’m usually a pretty stoic person – I’ve been through so much horrible shit in my life that I’ve mostly just become numb to misfortune -- but this is a defining moment in my life. I’m at a fork in the road and it feels like I have very little control over which way I’m going to be forced to go.
I hate this.
What the fuck am I going to do?
Chapter 86
Hailey
Once I’m around the corner and out of sight, I explode into a full-out sprint.
It doesn’t matter if I’m sore, it doesn’t matter if I’ve never ran this fast before in my entire life, I need to get to Caden. The cop didn’t suspect a thing from me, but apparently, they have a description of the guy who put those four football players in the ground last night... and it sounds just like him.
I cross my fingers and hope that Caden decided to stay in today.
I run into the building I think is his. What floor was he on again? I can’t quite remember, but I remembered him smashing a button midway up on the elevator’s control board, so I decide to start on the fourth floor.
I hop in the elevator and smash the button midway up the console. My whole body is tense, but as the doors close and I imagine seeing Caden again, I can’t help but melt a little.
He’s the man of dreams.
Wait, scratch that, he’s beyond the man of my dreams. Even in my wildest fantasies, I wouldn’t dare match myself with such an impressive hunk. Maybe I’m just that insecure, or maybe this really is just a freak connection between us, but either way, I can’t screw it up.
I need to be with him. I need to find him.
The elevator doors open up and I pop out. I vaguely remember turning left down the hallway last night. My memory is so hazy. Neither of us were drunk, but it’d be a lie to say we were sober. We were both at least a little tipsy on lust and love... or at least, I was.
Caden’s place was at the end of the hall, if I remember correctly. All I’m really going off is feeling. I even close my eyes and picture us limping together down this empty hallway. Caden’s thick arms are draped around my little body. He’s sweating and his damp skin is sticking to mine. I love it. I’m exhausted but I never want to go to sleep.
Here... he says.
I open my eyes and look to my left.
A closed door greets my gaze. On the door, a little over eye level, is a bright, yellow post-it note.
Hailey, call me...
I love you.
My heart flutters and a kaleidoscope of butterflies whirls around in my stomach.
Caden and I had confessed our love for each other in the heat of the moment last night, but to see that he had thought it again this morning, when his head was clear and his body was sore, makes me know that he really means it.
This is real.
This isn’t a crush... I’ve fallen in love, and he loves me back!
I just stand there in a wonderful daze before finally snapping out of it. I quickly type his number into my phone. I don’t even hesitate to call. I’ve only known Caden for 24 hours, but he’s done something to me that’s already changing a life time of internally set self-worth.
The phone rings and I don’t feel shy or reserved.
I’m just excited. I want to hear his voice. I want to tell him everything.
I’m in love.
Chapter 87
Caden
I take a deep breath and answer the call.
“Hello?” I ask, trying to put on a brave voice. Inside, though, I’m barely holding myself together.
What unknown number could possibly be calling me...?
It suddenly clicks, milliseconds before her voice fills up the other end of the line.
“Caden?”
It’s Hailey. She got my number. She’s back at my place. She didn’t leave me forever when she left this morning. I still have a chance.
“Hailey...” I mumble, not sure what to say. “Where are you?”
“I’m outside your door. Please tell me you’re home.”
I feel myself subtly tense up again.
“I’m not. Why?”
Hailey breaths heavily through the receiver.
“I got stopped by a cop on my way to your place. I went past the library... they’ve got a description of the ‘assailant’ from last night... it sounded pretty accurate. If they see you, you might become a suspect. Especially since... well, you were bleeding from the mouth last night...”
I feel my slightly swollen lip. I remember my reflection. I count my lucky stars I was smart enough to put this long-sleeve shirt on.
“Don’t worry,” I assure Hailey. “I just have a little cut on my lip. I’m sure it’s not even noticeable from more than five feet away. All my others cuts and bruises are covered up by my clothes. The only thing we should be worried about is my little limp, but I’m a lacrosse player, I can always say it’s from a game or a practice or something.”
I place my phone on my shoulder and tilt m
y head to hold it in place while I pack my textbooks back in my backpack. “Don’t move. I’m coming to you now.”
“No, wait!” Hailey nearly shouts. I flinch. I’m so anxious that any little change is setting me off. This is hell. I just need to get back to Hailey. We can wait out the storm at my place. We can order food or she can go out to get it... I don’t know, we’ll make it work.
I hardly even consider waiting.
“I’m leaving,” I insist.
“No, don’t. I’ll come to you. You can’t risk bring spotted by the cops. You’re not exactly discreet looking. You already tower over most people; it shouldn’t be hard to spot you in a crowd.”
She’s right, but I feel like I need to do something. I stand above my desk, feeling like I’m in purgatory.
“Hailey...” I start, but she’s not having it.
“Sit. Stay! Where are you?”
I feel like a dog. I’ve never been so obedient in my life. I’ve always been a rebel; always been on my own. I’m finding it hard to let her order me around, even though I know it’s for the best.
“I’m at the library on Saginaw Street. I can’t just wait here all day though.” I decline to mention that I was planning on doing exactly that before she called. I curse my stubbornness, but there’s no controlling it right now. Things are too intense to suddenly re-structure my whole essence.
“Listen,” she says. I can tell she’s been running. She really cares about me... “I’m coming as fast as I can. You need to hide out.”
“I can’t hide forever!” I blurt out, before I can stop myself. I know Hailey’s in the right and I’m in the wrong, but it’s going to take more than a night to change my very nature. I’ve built up my own independence over my years of struggle. I love this girl, but she’s in for something else if she thinks she can change me so quickly. I’m nobody’s lapdog.
“You get here and then what? We never leave? I have practice this week, you know? And a huge game next week. If I don’t show up, then people will really start to get suspicious!”
I feel like I’m arguing with the wind. Hailey is too meek to take my headstrong headbutting... I need to control myself. I can’t chase her away so quickly.
There’s a slight pause. I hear what I think are the elevator doors at my apartment close.
“I’m coming, baby,” Hailey says, more sternly than I expected. “We’ll figure out our next step when I’m there. Ok? Please...”
I feel my tension ease again. That voice... that woman...
What is she doing to me?
I sigh and collapse back down into my chair. “Fine,” I pout.
I can almost hear her smiling across the line.
“See you soon.”
Chapter 88
Hailey
The library on Saginaw Street is bigger than the one where Caden and I first met.
I push through the revolving doors and case the place out. I’ve been here before, but I tend to come as little as possible. It’s grey and drab and all the saddest students study here. The little library where our cove is has so much more warmth and personality. This one is just waiting for you to leave... but we won’t be leaving for a while.
My heart drops as I scan the first floor. It’s super busy, and people are still streaming in behind me. Caden must have come early enough that the place was relatively empty, but now it’s a gong show of nerds and reluctant party goers. It’s exam season and everyone needs to study. This is not the time to be hiding out in a library.
We have no choice now, though.
I make my way across the busy floor to the stairwell. No one’s paying any attention to me, and I doubt they would take a second look if Caden and I tried to get out, but I did see police outside and they were talking to students. If the cops are still giving out the same description of their suspect as they gave to me, it won’t take long for someone to single out Caden and get suspicious.
He said third floor, right? I pull myself up the stairs and onto the third floor. The study hall here is quieter and less crowded than downstairs. There are private rooms and booths in the back, I know Caden’s in one of them.
I shuffle through the groups of studiers. I barely notice that they’re all whispering gossip and showing each other something on their phones. I haven’t done anything on my phone but call Caden, and I’m out of data, so you can imagine my surprise when I overhear one of the conversations going on.
“... Must have been a hockey player... No way a dainty soccer player fought off FOUR football players...”
“... I heard it was someone from out of town... like a biker or something...”
“... Keenan might be out all of next season...”
Holy shit, everybody knows. I catch a glimpse of someone’s phone just before I push into the booth where Caden is.
A silhouetted mugshot undercuts a big, bold title.
Football Vigilante: Hero or Zero?
I’m taking out my phone when I look up to see Caden waiting impatiently for me on the other side of the door.
All of my worries immediately vanish. He’s here. He’s real.
“Caden...” I whisper. It doesn’t matter that we’ve already shared the most intimate physical moments with each other, he still takes my breath away.
God, he’s so gorgeous.
He doesn’t get up to greet me though.
“I need to get out of here,” is the first thing he mumbles. He picks up his phone and waves it at me. “Have you seen?
My heart drops. This wasn’t the welcome I was expecting. He seems so much colder than the man I fell in love with earlier.
“I just found out...” I whisper. “I’m out of data... God, I’m so sick of being a broke student!”
I drop my hands, exasperated and lean back against the closed door. “What are we going to do?”
“Whatever it takes,” he growls. “I don’t plan on giving up my path. I’m tired of being poor too. If I get caught for what those goons forced me into last night, though, it’s all over. It seems like one of the guys is hurt pretty bad. Half the school’s out for my head.”
“And the other half’s on your side,” I remind him. “I’m on your side.”
I suddenly register just how exhausted I am. These past few hours have been a true whirlwind. I slide down the door until I’m on my ass, then I rest my head on my knees.
“We can just wait here until it gets dark out again...” I whisper. My stomach growls.
Shit, that’s right. I still haven’t eaten.
“No, we can’t,” Caden huffs. I hear him stir and I look up. He doesn’t seem to be getting any more comfortable. His leg is shaking and his fists are clenched. He was right about his face, though. At first glance, I didn’t even notice his lip was cut, and with his long sleeve shirt on, you can’t tell just how banged up he must be.
I watch as he stands up. The only hint that he may have been involved in some sort of violence last night is the limp that he marches towards me with.
“Let’s go,” he orders.
Chapter 89
Caden
Hailey’s small in height, but she might as well be an offensive lineman; I just can’t get past her.
She stands her ground, blocking off the door and my way out of here. I can hardly think straight. All I know is I don’t want to be bossed around, not by her, not by those football goons, not by the cops, and not by the half of campus who thinks I should be drawn and quartered.
I’ve always been on my own, what makes this time any different?
Hailey’s defiant hands splay out against my chest and I realize full well what’s different... I’m in love.
Her fingers send shockwaves of calming care through my tense joints. My body can’t help but relax, but my mind won’t let me be.
“I can’t just sit inside this little cube and wait to die,” I grumble. I stop trying to move forward though. Hailey’s touch is just too addicting. I don’t want her to let me go, but I can’t accept stay
ing just because she said so.
“Why the hell did you come down here in the first place, then?” she asks, clearly getting fed up with my stubbornness.
I don’t know how to respond. She sees right through me. Why else would I have come down here if it wasn’t to hide out?
Still, that little orphan boy inside of me is always ready for a fight. I don’t know how to express my inner turmoil to the girl of my dreams, so I just ramble.
“You’re not in charge of me,” I yell, skirting her question. “I know we’ve already been through a lot, but we haven’t even known each other for a full day yet, and you already think you can control me? Do you know how many friends I have stuck in some little jail cell like this!? They don’t have a choice. They CAN’T leave. I CAN leave. You’re not my warden. You’re not even my girlfriend. What are you to me?”
I immediately regret my choice of words. Hailey’s hands drop from my chest and I feel truly alone for the first time since we met. Her fiery eyes cool as she looks down to the floor.
“What am I to you...?” she whispers.
I feel my guard drop. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to fight her. I just can’t help myself.
“Hailey...” I mutter.
“Don’t. Stop.” Her flat voice rises with anger. The meek Hailey is slowly embroiled with fire. Her eyes shoot back up to me. Lava spits from her mouth.
“Who the hell do you think you are!? You think you’re the only one who’s had a tough childhood? Do you think you’re the only broke student here sick of being poor? There are so many people far worse off than you! Do you know how much debt I have from attending this school? This shitty fucking school... I’m not a jock like you. I can’t just fall back on my athletic talents. I’m smart, I should be somewhere that rewards my intellect, instead all I got was this place – a sports worshipping, empty headed, glorified party house... and I didn’t think things could get any worse after my parents died, yet here I am. I was on track for so much more, but now I’m stuck, and I’ll be damned if you’re not stuck here with me!”
