Chapter Fourteen
After the whole debacle with his sister, Caleb and Taryn had made it to LA very late Saturday night. That Sunday, she’d gone to Slate’s mother’s house as planned. Now it was Wednesday. Caleb had a meeting outside LA, so he and Slate had dinner together.
“It was embarrassing, ya know?” Slate rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks tinting with the memory. “The first thing Mom asks is how long we’ve known each other. Taryn had the exact answer, if that doesn’t beat all.”
“Why is that embarrassing?”
“I’d already told her exactly how far along Taryn is. Taryn told her exactly how many weeks ago we met. Well, she’s two weeks further along than the time we’ve known each other.”
Caleb hissed in sympathy. “It’s the pregnancy math, right? And your mom is a nurse. She would be able to work that equation in a heartbeat.”
Slate pointed at him. “Got it in one.” He slumped back against the booth, sighing as he stared at the ceiling. “But it wasn’t bad, really. A few awkward questions. Mom likes Taryn a lot.”
“There’s a lot to like,” Caleb murmured, only half paying attention to what Slate was saying. Most of his mind was preoccupied with the memory of Taryn meeting his sister. She’d been so sweet, talking to Ann like she was any other human being capable of rational discussion. She’d held her hand like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.
“Tell me about it,” Slate went on, oblivious to Caleb’s distraction. “Mom was all over me after Taryn left. ‘An older woman is exactly what you need.’ ” He mimicked his mother’s inflection well. “ ‘She’s a nice girl, Slayton. Don’t you want to end up with a nice girl? And you’ve already knocked her up. Do you know how hard it is for a gal with a baby to find a nice guy?’ ” Slate rubbed his eyes. “Like everyone in the world should want a girl like Taryn just because she’s nice. Like anyone could fall in love with her just because.”
Caleb rankled, and he looked over at Slate with sharp eyes, paying attention then. “Why not?”
Slate raised his head from where he’d been resting it on the back of the booth. “What?”
“There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s a good person, a great person. Anyone would be lucky to have her. She works hard, and she has a very open, compassionate nature.” He could have gone on. He’d been thinking about it a lot—how lucky Slate was. How Slate, for all his bumbling, had found a great girl. But if he wasn’t going to appreciate her, well, Caleb had a few things to say about that. “She—”
“Whoa.” Slate threw his hands out. “Jeez. Are you my mother all of a sudden?”
“Well, what do you expect when you talk like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like she’s not worthy of love. That’s such a—”
“I didn’t say that. When did I say that? Dude, are you on crack? What the hell is going on right now? I didn’t say she’s not worthy of love. I said I tried to love her, and it didn’t work.”
“Well, why the hell not?” Caleb chafed at the idea, pissed on Taryn’s behalf.
Slate stared at him as if he’d grown another head. “What, you think I have an answer to that? You think I have any more control than you do over who I fall in love with? Even if I wanted her—and I’m sorry if it makes me a shitty person, but I really don’t—she doesn’t want me.”
“How do you know?” It sounded an awful lot like Slate was trying to make excuses for himself, so he wouldn’t have to feel guilty for playing with her heart. “Did you give her a chance to—”
“She told me. We talked about it.” Slate crossed his arms over his chest and hunkered down in his seat looking like a scowling child.
“When did she tell you that?”
“The day after your birthday.”
Caleb opened his mouth to argue, but his thoughts stuck as he tried to make sense of what Slate was saying. “But you were kissing. I saw you.”
“Once. We kissed once. What the fuck is wrong with you? This is some passive-aggressive bullshit right here. If you have a problem with me or how I’ve been handling this, say what you have to say.”
Befuddled now and more than a little unclear himself as to why he was so upset, Caleb scrubbed the back of his neck.
Slate was too worked up by then to back down. “You think I’m an asshole? What did I do? I’m trying. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing with all this. I don’t know, okay? I don’t know if I’m supposed to insist we belong together when I don’t feel it. What is it, a fake it until you make it thing? And she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want me, and—”
“Slate.” Caleb blew out a sharp breath. “I’m sorry.” His friend looked like an angry puppy dog, his milk teeth bared and his growl a low rumble to cover his fear.
Caleb leaned across the table, letting his irritation give way to shame. “Really. I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know.” He was in big-brother mode now, his bad mood forgotten. “You’re doing great, kid.” He signaled the waitress. “Hey. Do you think we could get a couple of pieces of that pie I saw? The special. The cream cheese pie with the cookie crust.”
The waitress grinned. “I think I know the one. Two pieces?”
“Please. With ice cream.”
“Coming right up.”
When he turned back, Slate was smiling. “You think pie makes it all better?
“Comfort food.” He stabbed his fork in Slate’s direction. “Don’t argue with me. You know you like it.”
“I never say no to dessert.”
“You may have to learn. Set a good example for the kid and all.”
Slate’s mouth quirked up. “Yeah.”
“So what else did Kaylynn say, besides telling you to marry your baby momma?”
“She is surprisingly excited about the grandmother thing. She says she’s too young for it, but man.” He shook his head, his smile indulgent. “She told Taryn to make it a girl. Said boys are boneheads anyway.”
Caleb chuckled. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Right? That’s what I said. Anyway. She’s pretty jazzed.” He grimaced. “Unfortunately, she’s not going to be able to make the official meet and greet with Taryn’s parents.”
Caleb hummed, tapping his finger on the table. “I could go. We could say I’m your brother.”
“Tempting.” Slate looked a little green around the edges. “But I think I have to face this one myself.”
Taryn was not having a good day. That Slate was having an even worse time was only adding to her frustration. She’d known from the beginning this wasn’t going to be a fun day, but this was a whole new level of suck.
When she walked in the door and saw Mike arguing with Pauline, their heads bent together, gesticulating wildly to make up for their lack of volume, she knew he was going to be an even bigger dick than usual. Taryn’s tattooed, slightly goofy, not-so-great-about-thinking-before-he-spoke baby daddy offered him a wealth of things to pick at.
“Where did you graduate from high school?” Mike asked. “I mean, assuming you graduated.”
Taryn glared daggers at her brother, but Slate just smiled. “Actually, I graduated early. California has a proficiency exam. You can test out at sixteen, so that’s what I did.”
“Oh, that’s fantastic.” Mike didn’t bother to cover the sarcastic edge to his voice. “Got too bored, did you?”
The hard set to Slate’s jaw told Taryn he’d picked up on the derision in her brother’s tone, but his voice was steady when he answered. “Not bored. It was a means to an ends. I knew I wanted to be a tattoo artist. That takes time and an unpaid apprenticeship. I had to start working as soon as I could to get a good cushion going.”
“That’s admirable for such a young man,” Taryn’s father said. She smiled at him, wishing she could hug him for his tact.
“Sure.” Mike scoffed. “He doodles for a living. That’ll be great for your kid’s show and tell in a few years, Ta
ryn.”
“Michael,” Lucas said. He turned to Slate and offered him a tight smile. “I apologize for my son. He’s being overprotective.” He turned back to Mike. “Slate is your niece or nephew’s father. Maybe you can take this time to try to find some common ground.”
“I have nothing in common with him.” Mike crossed his arms, glaring across the table at Slate. “Don’t kid yourself, Dad. You really think he’s going to stick around and raise a kid?”
“Mike,” Taryn yelled at the same time Slate said, “I am. I will.”
“Or hell, who knows,” her brother continued, pointing at her. “You’re just as likely to dump the kid on him.”
Tears sprang to Taryn’s eyes, and she pushed herself to her feet. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you think you’re so much better than me or Slate? You think you’re the only one who has it right?”
“At least I have the basics.” He stood, too, stepping closer as he shook his finger. “My kids are both legitimate for one thing.”
“What the hell is this, the eighteen hundreds?” she shouted over her parents’ admonitions that they should both calm down.
“Children should be born into a stable home. To parents who love each other.”
“Oh, is that what you and Pauline do? Love each other? Hell, I know you try, but it seems to me like she can hardly stand the sight of you sometimes.”
Mike’s face twisted and he took a step toward her, but Taryn wasn’t even close to done. “Come off it, Mike. You got married too young in some lame attempt to make up for Bailey dying. You know you did. And now you feel trapped. You think your kids aren’t going to notice that? You think it’s great to teach them they should find a relationship just like yours?”
Her brother’s face was turning an unhealthy crimson. “I swear to Christ, if you don’t shut up—”
Slate stepped in his path, his hand out in a stopping motion. Mike’s eyes narrowed, and he clenched his fists at his sides. “Get the hell away from me. You think I’m going to hit her? I’m not trash like you.”
“Man, I’ve never hit a single person in my life. Look, I don’t know what your problem is. You don’t know me, and it’s pretty clear you’re not interested in trying. I think I get that. You look at me, and you wish I hadn’t gone near your sister. Fair enough, I guess, but you’re judging me while you’re treating your own flesh and blood like dirt. Even an idiot like me knows better than to yell at a pregnant woman like that. That’s messed up. You’re not supposed to stress her out.”
Taryn spread her hand over his back. “Come on. We should leave.” She looked to her parents. “Let’s try this again when Mike’s washed the sand out of his vagina.”
“Taryn.” Her mother looked scandalized.
“She’s done it before, you know,” Mike called out as they retreated. “Ask her how many times she’s woken up next to a total stranger.”
Taryn’s step faltered, but Slate was there, steadying her with his grip. He tugged her hand, and she followed his gait away from her brother’s drama.
“That was brutal,” Slate muttered, opening the passenger door for her.
“Are you okay?” she asked when she’d finally gathered her wits about her.
Slate took a moment to stare at her. “Are you kidding me? I’m fine. I’m just sorry your own brother would even think about talking to you like that.”
“He’s worse when he’s been fighting with Pauline. He can’t be nasty to her, but I’m fair game.”
“Like that’s an excuse. Anyway. Don’t worry about me. He’s not the first person who’s accused me of trying to be a deadbeat.”
Taryn grimaced, thinking that was a reference to their first meeting. “You know I know better now, right?”
“Than what?” Slate looked confused. “Oh. I wasn’t talking about you. It was Caleb. He misunderstood what I said, and he was defending your honor.”
“Defending my honor? About what?”
“Ah. I was telling him I had to set Mom straight about us not being together and why. Caleb got what I said twisted up in his head. He thought I was saying you weren’t worthy of me or some stupid thing like that. You were very vehemently defended.”
“Oh. That’s . . . sweet.”
“Yeah.” He paused, worrying his lip. “Hey, Taryn. Can I ask you a question?”
A wave of nausea swept over her. She knew he was going to ask about Mike’s accusations. Actually, she was surprised Caleb hadn’t already told him. “Uh. Yeah.”
“Who’s Bailey? I mean, I thought the baby was Bailey, but then you said Bailey died.”
“Oh. I thought I told you about Bailey.”
“No.”
No, that had been Caleb. Caleb knew a lot about Bailey. And Mike. Caleb knew more about her than Slate, she realized with a start. Her throat got tight. That seemed wrong. How had that happened?
“Well . . .” She took a deep breath. “Baby Bailey is named for our little sister, Bailey.”
Chapter Fifteen
Caleb knew he was hard on his father. John Ryder had always tried his best to maintain a good relationship with his children. Caleb and Ann’s parents had never been a good fit. John liked to think it was because of her disease, but really, they just didn’t have long-term compatibility.
Regardless, his parents had always put their children first. Louise had primary custody, but John was a constant presence in their lives. He was always attentive when his children visited. When he made promises, they were kept. There had never been a formal child support agreement between them because John had never failed to provide for his kids.
Up until very recently, Caleb had enjoyed a close relationship with his father.
“Caleb.” John’s voice sounded exasperated over the phone. “Why are you being difficult? I’m just trying to have a conversation.”
Caleb bit the inside of his cheek, but he still wasn’t able to stop the next question from tumbling out of his mouth. “I’m at the hospital. Why don’t you come have a conversation with both your children?”
On the other end of the line, his father sighed. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“But not to her? Never again to her, right?” He flexed his fist in frustration, wishing he had a stress ball he could squeeze the hell out of. “You’re going to run out of time.”
“We’re already out of time. I’m not going to have this discussion again.”
“She understands you’re not there. You—”
A chime sounded, alerting him the call had ended. He tossed the phone at the empty passenger seat, pissed as hell and kicking himself. He knew better than to answer his father’s call when he was visiting Ann. He knew better than to get into the same arguments over and over. It always ended like this—with him fuming and left alone to care for his sister.
Always, after having this argument with his father, Caleb felt his sanity as though it were a distinct, physical entity. It was a bauble made of the thinnest glass imaginable, and it was resting on a violent surface. Erupting all around it were lava-hot bursts of injustice and pain. Why was this Ann’s fate? Why had she been abandoned by everyone but him? And there was no recompense in store for his sister. Her heartbreaking existence could only get worse until it reached the inevitable end.
Caleb waited for the bauble to shatter, for his sanity to break. But after a moment, the tension in his body eased. The iron grip around his chest loosened. He was able to take a shallow breath. For a time, he wallowed in misery. What he wouldn’t give at times like these to have a partner. Just someone to squeeze his shoulders and tell him he was a good brother. Something. Anything would have helped.
Releasing his breath slowly, Caleb forced himself to get a grip. This was his life. It wasn’t a nightmare he was going to wake up from. He shook his head hard, as though he could shrug off his frustration. He took measured breaths as he walked into the hospital and down the hall.
“Hey, Caleb,” one of the nurses said. She sidled over to him, til
ting her head to speak in a conspiratorial whisper. “Your girlfriend is so cute. You go, boy.”
Caleb blinked. “My girlfriend?”
The nurse cocked her head. “She’s been here for about an hour. I won’t keep you. I was just happy to see you found someone. She’s the sweetest thing.”
What now, Caleb wondered as he stepped up to Ann’s room. There was always something else to deal with. He had no idea what he expected when he peered in the doorway.
Taryn was sitting at Ann’s beside. The netting was open, and Taryn was leaning on the railing, talking quietly with his sister. When he stepped inside the room, she jumped up, her expression guilty.
“Oh, hey. I, um . . . hi.”
“Hi.” He spoke without inflection, unsure of what he was supposed to be feeling or what was going on. “What are you doing here?”
“Visiting.” She looked back at Ann. “I was telling your sister about your boy band performance on your birthday.”
“Hi,” Ann said. She said something else, something quick that Caleb couldn’t understand. She wasn’t upset, though, and that was what mattered.
Caleb dragged one of the other chairs in the room over to the bedside. “Hey, Annie.” He leaned in to press a hello kiss to his sister’s forehead.
“Is my being here okay?” Taryn asked as he sat down. “I can leave you guys alone if I’m intruding.”
Still feeling like he had to be missing something, Caleb glanced back and forth between his sister and Taryn. “Did you need something from me?”
“No. I told you, I’m just here visiting.”
When Ann’s own father couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her, it was almost incomprehensible to Caleb that Taryn would be here of her own free will. No one had ever been here with Caleb, let alone on their own. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and turned to his sister. “What do you think, Annie? Is this chick bothering you?”
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