by Ria Cantrell
“Now, dismount yer’ rides and stand together. Do it! Now,” Jamie thundered. He wanted to cut all their hearts out for he felt his own heart had been pulled from his chest.
The men clambered off their horses and stood in the midst of the circle of MacCollum guards who looked like they were prepared to murder them all. The one leading the envoy cursed Dubh MacKenzie for putting him and his small retinue’s lives in danger. There was no way out of it that he could tell. He watched as another one of the huge MacCollum leapt from his mount and gathered their weapons like a man picking up sticks of kindling. Finding his courage, the man called, “Killing us will nay get yer’ wife back…if she is yer’ wife. Dubh MacKenzie has also sent an envoy to the MacDougal declaring the woman his hostage. He is of a mind she is no more than yer’ leman and he thought to petition the MacDougal as well.”
Jamie’s eyes pinned the man with a cold and deadly stare. He fairly growled, “She is my wife, by rights of the Ancients. She does nay belong to the MacDougal. She is mine. Has the MacKenzie harmed her?”
The man shook his head and said, “I dunna’ think so, but I have nay seen her. Do ye’ want the message or nay?”
“Bring it. Only ye’ step forward. Ruiri, See to the others.”
Ruiri took a hank of rope that had been looped upon his belt and he tied each man’s hands behind their backs, pulling the knots tightly so they could not be loosened without being cut.
The man approached Jamie, and he raised a sealed missive up to him. He read it silently and then he tossed it upon the snow. “How can I be certain that no harm has come to my wife? Ye’ yerself said ye’ dunna’ know if she has been harmed.”
The parchment told Jamie what he had already known, that Sinead was the prisoner of Dubh MacKenzie and that he wanted ransom and a trade-off of one life for hers. Jamie was not opposed to giving his life for her, in fact, he would gladly do it to see her unharmed, but he would not barter his brothers where he himself should go. And he certainly would not just go willingly to his death when he had no assurance of Sinead’s safety.
“I have one more scroll. Laird MacKenzie thought ye’ would nay believe that the woman was unharmed. He told me to inform ye’ that t’is penned from yer’ woman’s hand.”
This missive was also sealed, but not with the MacKenzie’s mark. She had pressed the imprint of her garnet ring into the burnished wax. Jamie’s fingers broke the seal. He was careful to not rip the sheaf lest he not be able to read her words.
Sinead’s words were written precisely so that any form of variation in both their languages, modern and medieval, could be understood. Jamie felt his heart shatter in his chest at what he read and though it caused him a pain so deep, he forced himself to read it again to be certain he did not misunderstand any hidden meaning. There was none. Sinead had not spoken in riddles or code. He had always known her to be very definite and direct. Jamie knew what she had written was truth. It was a truth he wished vehemently to have been a lie.
My Beloved Jamie,
I am safe and unharmed. I have not been hurt in any way. I have not been compromised or defiled. I encouraged Dubh MacKenzie to allow me this one request so you would know it is the truth. He agreed because he knew you would not believe a request sent just from him. I was allowed to give my sealed note to his messenger myself to prove to me that it would not be tampered with.
My love, he is setting a trap for you. He will not let me go and you will lose your life in vain. That was his plan all along. I know it is so because I overheard him bragging about it when he thought I was just writing to you to validate that I was here. Also, it was foretold to me in a dream. It seems I have more than one similarity to our Morag.
You are my truest love, but I cannot have you suffer and die for me. It is not your destiny, else I would not have been granted the gift to come to you in the first place. You are to live and prosper. So do not come for me, my love, for I will already be gone. I have begged the Guardians to take me back to my own time. Morag said if I wished it with my whole heart, it would be granted and so I have. I promise you I am safe. I know the Guardians will grant me the request because I will not have you die. Not when I came to save you.
I know it is selfish of me, but I have chosen to keep the ring that you gave me when you spoke those precious words that linked our souls forever, however I release you from your bond to me. Live, my love. Do not carry what could have been in your heart. I will not have your guilt, either, for you have born that too long for events that were not your fault. Know that I have never loved a man as much as I love you and so I will depart from your time and return to my own in order to not sacrifice all that you are. Your life is too precious to me to have it taken.
Love now and for always,
Sinead
When he had read it a third time, he yelled, “NO!”
The sound echoed across the snow-covered glen and seemed to bounce from the distant hills surrounding them. Fearing the worst, Shawn came to Jamie and said, “Brother, what is it?”
“She is gone. That bastard may as well have killed her for she is gone.”
Shawn pried the sheaf from Jamie’s fingers and read the missive that had come from Sinead. He understood and though he knew it would be of little comfort to Jamie, Shawn said, “She lives, brother. She lives.”
“But she may as well be dead for her life is no longer part of my world. Damn her! How dare she decide this for both of us. Did she have no faith that I could save her…save us?”
“She felt it was not worth the chance that ye’ could not. The risk was too great for her, brother. She did this for ye’.”
“There is no me without her. She should have known that. We ride to MacKenzie for I want his head for this.”
Shawn shook his head and said, “No, brother. Ye’ would make her sacrifice in vain, then. This is nay the way she wanted it. Her words are very clear. She did this fer’ ye’. Ye’ must honor her by doing what she has asked and that is to live.”
“Live? If living without her is my lot, I would happily find death at the hands of the MacKenzie; but first I will do what I can to send him to hell with me.”
Jamie sheathed his sword in the scabbard strapped to his back and turned his horse north. He called over his shoulder, “Dispose of these men and send their heads to the MacKenzie so he will know he has no bargain from me.” Shawn watched his brother ride off and he nodded to Ruiri. Ruiri jumped on the back of his horse and rode after Jamie, mumbling, “And I am the hot headed one.”
As Shawn eyed the men before him, he saw the fear in their wide stares. There was no honor in killing unarmed men and though his brother had given the command, Shawn would not obey him this time. He was not laird yet, after all. They all had aspired to the vow of honor and Shawn would not allow dishonor to befall his clan in a moment of heated passion and emotion. Instead, he said, “Up on yer’ horses or I shall happily drag ye’ behind them. I claim ye’ all now in the name of MacCollum as traitors to our clan by writ of the treachery done by the hand of the MacKenzie. While my brother wishes yer’ heads to be sent as payment for the life of his wife, my father, who is still laird of our clan may wish to bargain yer’ lives in another way. Now, ride or drag, for I care not which ye’ choose.”
Shawn watched as the men struggled to mount with their hands tied, but one of the men at arms helped hoist them back into their saddles. What a sorry lot of cowards they were, Shawn thought and as the horses were also tied to each other, Shawn took their discarded weapons and bundled them inside his plaid. He then spurred his mount and they took off at a break-neck pace and headed back toward MacCollum. He would leave Ruiri to take care of Jamie and he was confident that Ruiri would know the best way to handle their brother. Ruiri could relate to the sorrow and anger that Jamie was feeling. In that, they were kindred, Shawn supposed. He had enough to handle with the four MacKenzie prisoners in tow and the ominous looking sky seemed ready to dump more snow upon them before nightfall.
Chapter 41
Sinead faced her captor and saw how grotesquely ugly he was. Though her heart was breaking, she knew she had done the right thing. After all, what was love without sacrifice?
He leered at her, with a self-satisfied grin on his face. He said, “Soon, lass. Ye’ will have no other choice but to become my whore.”
“Oh, I shall always have a choice. I will never willingly become your whore.”
Dubh wanted to slap her again, but he restrained himself. He moved closer to her and he said, “Willing or nay, it matters not to me. A good amount of fight in bed is good enough sport. Makes me all the more hard thinking about it.”
“Why wait for Jamie, then? Why not rape me now?”
Sinead knew it was dangerous to goad him, but she felt that she no longer had anything to lose. Jamie would not be coming to save her and her meaningless life did not matter as much as she thought it would after her letter had been sealed.
“Well, as tempting as that may be, I will receive much greater pleasure in watching yer’ lover beg for my mercy only to have him witness me take ye’, while he can do nothing. Ah, it will be sweet victory to know that will be his last memory before he is executed.”
Sinead’s back stiffened in defiance. She raised her chin and met Dubh MacKenzie’s eyes.
“You will never win against the MacCollum, for you see, I will not be here for you to use as bait and now Jamie knows it. You were a fool to think I would play into your game. By the time Jamie reads the letter you so graciously allowed me to write, all your plans of treachery will be for naught for I will be gone.”
“Gone? Ye’ think to sacrifice yerself to prevent him from coming to save ye’? One thing I know of the MacCollum is that they have soft spots for the women in their beds. He will nay believe ye’ would kill yerself’ to save him. And even if ye’ do, he will still come for they always think they are the great warriors and protectors of women. His conceit will not allow him to think ye’ will die before he had a chance to rescue ye’.”
With a smug but bitter smile of her own, Sinead answered, “He will know that I have not died. He will know that I am gone and he will know there is no use to come save me for I have told him of your trap and he knows it is futile to come. You have nothing left to bargain because I will be no more by the time morning comes.”
Dubh laughed sardonically and said, “Oh, really Banshee? Ye’ think to ride the winds of time as ye’ are magically carried away? My men have thought ye’ to be some phantasm, but I see ye’ are merely flesh, bone and blood.”
Sinead wanted to kick the smirk off of Dubh’s face, but she let him have his moment of disillusion. She had petitioned the Ancients and the shimmer she felt in the air had nothing to do with the next wave of snow that was sure to fall. It would be tonight, she could feel it. Jamie was not going to come for her. Her heart hurt at the thought, but at least she could rest easily knowing she had not caused his torture and death. She doubted she would ever love a man like she loved Jamie again. The Binding…she had taken the Binding Vows and Sinead knew they would carry through all times. She sniffed back tears because she would not cry in front of this monster.
Seeing her face express sorrow, Dubh thought he had won this battle. He grabbed her by the arm and attempted to kiss her, claiming her for his own. If Sinead had restrained herself before, she would not now. She closed her fist and slammed it into his jaw. As he wheeled back in surprise of the strength of it, she spun and landed a roundhouse kick to his privates that brought him to his knees. Finally, her kickboxing classes had paid off. Even if she would be punished for her offensive attack, it would be worth it.
She took the opportunity to flee back to the towered room as Dubh MacKenzie rolled on the floor gripping his injured nuts and moaned. She picked up her skirts and ran as fast as she could up the spiraling steps without sending herself plummeting down the stones and when she got up to the room, breathless and trembling, she quickly barred herself in from the inside. She pushed the heavy desk against the door, hoping it would give her ample protection should Dubh recover enough to want her dragged out of the room.
With her back against the door, she sucked in ragged breaths and she prayed, “Please Guardians, I beg you to send me to the time I had left. I can no longer stay and I wish it with my whole heart.”
Sinead felt the room tilt and she wondered if it was because she had just run the gauntlet up those treacherous steps. She thought she was going to be sick and the room suddenly felt too hot. She stripped off the gown, tossing it in a heap on the floor and pulled her less than freshly laundered sweater over her jeans. She had gotten into the habit of wearing them under the gown, and they had helped her feel warmer while she was locked in the freezing tower. She fought the nausea and continued to pray and plead for passage back to her time. It had to work. Morag said so.
When her breathing returned to a normal rate, Sinead stepped into the middle of the room. She looked around and remembered it was like a perfect circle. A shaft of light from the waning moon lit on the floor near to where she stood and she moved into the moonbeam, feeling its healing light. As she whispered words of love to Jamie; words he would never hear, she felt as if she was going to faint. There was a loud pounding in her ears and her vision blurred. “Oh, God, it’s happening,” she thought and just when she believed she would vomit from the vertigo, sweet darkness enveloped her and then blissful nothingness. No memories or regrets, just the comfort of oblivion.
Chapter 42
Ruiri rode on the heels of Jamie, catching up to him in no time and he called out, “Jamie, stop. It is done.”
“But what if she is still there and only thought to save my sorry hide? She is very headstrong, ye’ know.”
Ruiri said, “I’m sorry, brother.”
“I have to see for myself that she has truly returned.”
Ruiri said, “Ye’ yerself said she is a woman who speaks directly. Look, ye’ did the Binding. Ye’ know what that means…yer’ heart is linked to her. Quiet yerself. Allow yerself to reach out to her. Ye’ will know if she remains at MacKenzie and then form yer’ plan to rescue her…but I think ye’ already know the truth, brother, do ye’ not?”
Jamie jumped down from his horse and he felt the air being pulled from his lungs. It was true. She was gone. Jamie knew it because it was as if the other part of his heart had been ripped wide open. He fell to one knee and he pressed his hands into the frosty snow gripping for what, he did not know. No, this was not happening. Not now; not now that he had found his mate of his soul at long last. The Guardians could not be that cruel! Now that the anger had cooled, what was left was the deepest sorrow Jamie had ever felt. He gulped deep breaths of frosty air, wishing it would freeze his lungs so he would never again be able to take another.
Ruiri got off his own mount and went to his brother. Putting a hand upon his shoulder he said, “I know how ye’ feel, brother. Ye’ know I do.”
Jamie raised his head and looked at Ruiri. He said, “I dunna’ know how ye’ do it, Ruiri. I never expected to feel like this.”
“I know. None of us do. We do what we can.”
A lone tear streaked down Jamie’s cheek. He swiped it away and he stood. He said, “Ye’ are a far better leader, than I. I’m sorry brother. The lairdship should be yours.”
“That’s just yer’ grief talking.”
“Nay. T’is been my thought all along. I have failed ye’ when ye’ needed me and now I have failed her. I am no’ fit to lead the clan.”
“Ye’ are talking nonsense. Ye’ could nay have prevented this outside of tying Sinead down and keeping her prisoner yerself.”
Jamie would not hear it. He jumped upon the back of his horse and he said, “I need to go now.”
Ruiri became concerned and said, “No, I shall go with ye’. Where are ye’ off to?”
But before he could mount and follow, Jamie took off and even when Ruiri tried to track him, he could not keep up and lost sight of his brother. He pushed h
imself harder and he called out for Jamie but received no answer save that of the crackling of ice melting. Ruiri tried to listen to hear the direction of a moving horse, but he heard nothing. It was as if his brother had faded into thin air.
Ruiri continued to ride the route he thought his brother would have taken but he found no tracks and he could have been going in the completely wrong direction. He was frustrated and distraught and he had to make a choice to return to his other brothers and home to explain that he had lost track of Jamie. With his heart heavy from all that had transpired in the past few hours, Ruiri turned his mount back toward MacCollum. With growing trepidation as each mile closed the distance to home, Ruiri was filled with dread and regrets of his own. How was he going to tell his father that Jamie had evaded him?
He trudged onward with the weight of sorrow heavy upon him. As he was still many miles from the keep, Ruiri was startled by a sight before him. Morag stood in the frozen road, staff in hand and sadness etched on her face.
“Morag, what are ye’ doin’ out in this cold? Ye’ll catch yer’ death.”
“I came to aid ye’ in yer’ burden.”
“Me? T’is Jamie…I have failed him, Nan. How am I going to tell my father?”
“Jamie has his own journey, lad. T’is not yers’ to bear this time.”
“What do ye’ know of it?”
“I know the lass is gone. I felt the Ancient’s Call and know she is returned to the world from whence she came.”
“Aye and Jamie took off to God knows where. I could nay keep up with him.”
“He is going to the place of our ancestors. Even he does nay know he is bound for that place.”
“Where.”
“He is headed where many before him have gone to heal wounds that threaten one’s life.”
Ruiri shook his head and said, “I dunna’ understand.”
“He is in the hands of the Ancients now, lad. They will protect him for he has much work to do. T’is because of the Binding. His heart will ne’er heal.”
