by Ria Cantrell
All who inhabited the isle had their own roles to play, as well. Jamie took on being a shepherd to the small flock that roamed the hilly coast. He did not want to think about what had become of his lambs that he left behind. He would not think about his family and he certainly would not think of her, for that was the hardest of all. She had only been his for a short time, but the loss of her was so great a sorrow, he knew that his life would be forever cast in ruins like the scattered stones on Iona’s shores.
Jamie trudged out toward the sea’s edge on the cold morning and he watched as the meager flock of sheep idled away the time, nibbling the new grass that was finally making its way through the snow. He breathed in the salty air that still burned cold like spiky shards of ice in his lungs. He looked out on the cerulean blue of the water and he was reminded of the beautiful color of her eyes. Even in this remote place, there were reminders of her all around him. Why, the very place was where she had asked him to take her. He had forgotten that until this moment. Mayhap that was why he ended up there in the first place. As the wind whipped his long hair against his face, he was forced to acknowledge that he could never stop thinking of her. He saw her everywhere and he wondered if he was slowly losing what was left of his sanity. Every day he walked to the water’s edge and he imagined her standing there, wishing that somehow she would return to him. Och the Guardians were cruel masters!
The more Jamie tried to forget Sinead MacDougal, the more she seeped into his mind both night and day. She was there when he woke and there when he tended the flock. She was there, ever on the fringes of his dreams. She was there when he pushed her to the far recesses of his mind, but one thing he could not do. He could not push her from his heart.
He made himself nearly mad with thoughts about where she was and what she was doing. Was she happy? Had she found another to love in his place? That thought was the one that made Jamie feel like madness was near and if it was madness that would take away the other, he would welcome it heartily. For madness seemed the better of his choices so long as she would forever be banished from his mind.
He looked out on the water, not even understanding about the land from where she came. Was she on the other side of that vast ocean even now waiting for him? The months had done nothing to staunch the aching in his heart and Jamie thought it may have been better had he died by the MacKenzie’s treacherous hand. Death was final, but his pain was never ending. Jamie begged for deliverance because one way or the other his torment needed to end. He called out to the whistling wind, “Please bring her back to me, Oh Ancient Guardians or let me die.”
A cold forceful gust buffeted against Jamie, casting the icy spray upon his bearded cheeks. It felt like thousands of needles piercing his skin and he knew it was time to head back. The sheep needed to be rounded for the evening. Even though Spring was trying to break, Winter was not quite done with them, it seemed. Jamie turned from the coast and he wandered up the bluff. The crash of the waves were ever behind him and he climbed up the craggy rocks of the cliff that separated the land from the sea. Once he had reached the top, he turned back to gaze out to the horizon. It had become a ritual of his, as if doing it would summon her back to him. Just like the day before and the ones prior to that, he would imagine her there, in a flowing gown, arms outstretched to him, only for him to look again and she would be gone. This day was no different.
This day, his eyes scanned the distance and there on the sands she stood with her head back and her lush hair blowing behind her on the sea’s breath. Just like the other days, he called her name, “Sinead”, knowing that it would be swallowed upon the thundering surf. And then she would be gone, like she was every day since he had arrived on the sacred soil of his namesake’s Saint. He appealed to St. Columba now and said, “Please dear saint. Do not make my vision disappear into the sea.” It seemed his plea had been heard; be it by saint or Guardian, for he knew not which, this day Sinead was still there when he turned to look back.
Jamie shook his head, not trusting his sight. He rubbed his eyes, convinced that some of the sand had gotten in them when the sea spray had pelted him. He looked down at the shore again, certain she would be there no longer, but as his eyes focused, there she stood. Her arms were outstretched and though he could not hear her voice above the loud surf, he saw her mouth moving. “Jamie.”
Jamie swallowed deeply. Either he was finally completely mad or he had been given the greatest of gifts. Now, there was no doubt that his eyes were clouded. They were as tears filled his line of sight. He knelt down and bowed his head, thanking God and all the saints who had answered his unceasing prayers. When he stood again, a little girl peered from behind Sinead’s legs and he saw her take the child’s hand in her own. What the hell? Were the Ancients toying with him again?
He watched as Sinead leaned down and spoke to the child and she pointed up toward where Jamie had been standing. The little girl raised her hand and opened and closed her fingers in the wave of a very young child. Jamie did not understand, but he hurried down the rise, sliding part of the way, lest the vision disappear completely. When he got to the bottom, he nearly skidded and stumbled but he was undeterred. He ran to the shore and stood before the woman who had been in his every waking thought and he stopped yards in front of her.
⌘⌘⌘⌘⌘⌘
Sinead almost could not believe her eyes. Her beautiful Jamie had indeed changed greatly. If Morag had not prepared her, she would have thought not to have found him. His hair was nearly down his back and tousled from lack of grooming. His beard was full and thick and his muscular frame was lean, although he still looked strong. The worst part was the light that seemed to be missing in his eyes. They almost appeared vacant and Sinead could feel his emptiness to the depth of her soul.
It had taken her longer than she had anticipated to return to Jamie. Her pregnancy had not gone smoothly and the last few months of it she was confined to complete bed rest. She had thought, when she learned she carried Jamie’s child, that she would whiz through being pregnant with no trouble, having been in the best physical shape of her life, but her emotional turmoil from having left Jamie had taken its toll on her and she was not as able to fight her way through the morning sickness and the fatigue. Each day she felt her grief weigh upon her like a thousand heavy stones and it worked against her in a vicious cycle. The more she grieved, the harder it was for her to gain her strength. The harder for her to gain her strength, the more difficult for her to find her path back to Jamie. The longer it took her to get back to him, the more she succumbed to grief and despair.
It took her nearly a year to recover and then she needed to study and learn about the amazing gift so that she could return to Jamie when the time was right; so that he would remember her and they could work on building their lives together again. She had landed in Scotland only a few days ago with her daughter and thankfully Morag was there to greet her. For that matter so was the rest of Jamie’s family and they were all so happy to see her and to meet their niece and grandchild. They had embraced her beautiful little Esme completely.
Morag had directed her to the Hebrides Islands and they had secured her passage on a small fishing boat that brought needed supplies to the village of monks that resided on Iona. She remembered asking Jamie to take her there for it seemed to have called to her for some reason. Now she understood why she had been drawn to the beacon of Iona most of her life. It was where she would reclaim her love, if he would have her.
⌘⌘⌘⌘⌘⌘
“Jamie. You aren’t seeing things. I’m really here.”
He shook his head in disbelief and still he would not come closer. Sinead leaned down to the little girl and she whispered, “Go give your da’ a kiss. That’s your da’, darling. Go ahead.”
The little girl ran toward Jamie and she hugged around his legs. “Da da,” she said as he stooped down to catch hold of the child.
“Da? But how can it be? I marked the days on a side of a stone. I have been here only four moons.�
�
“She is yours, Jamie. I have been gone nearly two and a half years in my time.”
“Two and a half years? That is a verra’ long time.”
“Yes. Yes it was. Too long. A day was too long, Jamie. I have missed you so.”
“But when did ye’ learn ye’ were with child?”
“The day I returned to my home. I wanted to come right back. I realized I had made a terrible mistake, but it was not to be.”
“What is our child’s name?”
“Esme. Isn’t she beautiful?”
Jamie picked up the little girl and she put her hand against his thick beard. “Wooly,” she said with a giggle that filled the emptiness in Jamie’s heart near to bursting.
“She knows me, but how?”
As her own eyes filled with tears, Sinead said happily, “I told her about you every day; even when she still grew inside my body. I wanted her to know you. I did not know how much a baby could understand, but I never gave up and I told her we would be together soon.”
Jamie kissed the little girl and he squeezed her as she giggled again. It was too much for him. The hardened warrior seemed lost as tears trickled out of his eyes. When a tormented sob erupted on his voice, Sinead closed the distance between them. She fit herself under his arm and put her arms around him.
“I never stopped missing you. Not even for one second.”
“Nor I for ye’, lass. I’ve been so lost without ye’.”
“Lost, you? Big hard Highland warrior?”
“I’m nay much of a warrior these days, I’m afraid.”
“You are to me. I think you need a bit of a shave and trim, but you are the same Jamie I have loved from the first moment I knew you existed.”
Jamie’s head bowed in shame. “I am nay the same man ye’ knew, Sinead. I have abandoned my clan and worst of all I abandoned ye’.”
Sinead leaned up and wiped his tears even while drops of her own hung on her lashes like frozen crystals.
“You did not abandon me. I made the choice on my own. It was the wrong choice, Jamie. I know that now. I knew it as soon as I got home. I realized there is no home for me without you.”
He shifted the baby on his hip and he leaned in to kiss the woman who had forever changed his heart. The familiar feel of his lips was both soothing and unnerving. Yes, this was her beautiful Jamie, changed or not. He was her mate of her heart and soul. She said, “How long do you need to get your things together. There are some people I want you to meet. They are waiting for us at MacCollum Keep.”
Jamie’s face turned to stone at those words and he said defiantly, “I canna’ go back there. I have dishonored my family. I ordered the murder of unarmed men and I turned my back on my clan. MacCollum is not a place for me any longer.”
“Of course it is. I spoke to your father only two days ago. Morag would not let him come for you. She said this was your journey and your father understood that. As for the men you ordered to be murdered, well it seems that your brother did not heed your orders. The men lived and were ransomed for their release, only they chose to stay on at MacCollum because they would not serve a man like Dubh MacKenzie any longer. They are guards in Ruiri’s army.”
Jamie’s brow furrowed. “So it would seem that not only is my wife disobedient, but so is my little brother.”
Sinead laughed through her tears. “So it would seem.”
Kissing Jamie again she said, “Come on. Let’s get you home where you belong. Those little lambs are growing in leaps and bounds…you should see them, Jamie.”
When Esme tugged on Jamie’s beard he finally smiled. “They are not the only lambs that have grown. Look at this dear lammie that ye’ have given me. Oh, how I love this little girl.”
“I know. She was all I had to keep me going when I thought I could not make it without you another second.”
“She is beautiful. Just like her mother.”
Sinead stretched up to kiss him and the feel of his lips sent a familiar shock of desire through her. She felt the strength returning in Jamie’s arms. It was a strength that came from his spirit since his soul was no longer fractured. It was one Sinead herself was experiencing. As desire fanned within both of them, Sinead said, “Let’s go home. I think our precious little Esme needs a brother or sister or two, don’t you?”
Jamie’s face finally softened and even through his thick beard, his smile grew. He simply answered, “Aye.” He was a man of few words, after all.
Epilogue
The bargain with the English never happened since the MacKenzie failed to bring the powerful MacCollum to their knees. They would never bow to the likes of Dubh MacKenzie and so the tensions between English and Scot were ever threatening the peaceful existence of both sides.
Treaties had been drawn up and many marriage contracts were negotiated to foster a hard won peace. One such marriage was deemed important to seal the tenuous truce in melding English with Scot and would come at the hands of one of the most powerful families on Scottish soil.
That family was the MacCollum. They had been known for their civil minds and even rival clans did not feud with them like so many of the Scottish Highlanders were wont to do. Not only that, they had made a name for themselves in the advances in wool procurement and sheep tending. Their flocks thrived when others did not. Their wool was known as some of the finest in the land. The clan was wealthy with abundant larders and stores and so it was deemed worthy to unite one of their own with an equally powerful English household. As for Dubh MacKenzie, well, he was the one who vanished into obscurity. He had not fostered loyalty of men. Without offspring of his own, his clan soon faded into nothing more than memories. The MacKenzie keep easily fell into continued ruin; crumbling into total disrepair. Dubh MacKenzie died some years later at the end of tavern fight gone bad and was left to rot in an alley like a vagrant dog.
⌘⌘⌘⌘⌘⌘
Sinead woke feeling her husband’s arms around her. Life had been interesting living in this time, but she knew that if she needed a fix of modern living, she had the ability to return if she wanted to.
She didn’t.
He pulled her close, nuzzling the back her neck with his lips and he said, “Good morning, wife. I am glad to find ye’ here.”
He had said the same thing to her since she had returned to him every morning when he felt her awaken.
Every morning he would ask, “Are ye’ staying with me” and most mornings she would answer, “Of course.” But this morning she said, “I am going back to my century for a very short time. You won’t even know I am gone.”
Jamie sat up and said, “No. I canna’ let ye’ go.”
“You can come with me if you want. I can bring you, I’m pretty sure.”
As the bedding rucked down around his waist, Sinead almost lost her resolve when her eyes beheld his delicious body bared before her.
“No, Sinead. I will nay have it. Please dunna’ toy with me. I canna’ let ye’ go,” he repeated.
She sat up; the bedding falling away from her body as well. His gaze raked over her naked breasts and then back up to her face. He loved this woman so much, it still hurt to think of not being with her.
“I promise I will never leave you again, Jamie. It’s just that now since Bronwyn is betrothed, I want to get her a special gift.”
“What gift can ye’ possibly need to get her in yer’ time that ye’ canna’ give her here?”
Sinead leaned in and whispered, “The lingerie that you so enjoy. Don’t you think her new husband deserves such enjoyment, as well?”
“He will be English!”
“So what? He will still be a man.”
Jamie grumbled and then he said, “Alright. But only if ye’ promise to bring some more for yerself’.”
“I promise. You have my word.”
She pulled him down to her and kissed him with the rising passion that was ever present between them.
“Hmm, I feel like it might snow today. That has always been
lucky for my travels, I recall. Now, how about you send me off with a reason to remind me why I should come back?”
A slow sexy grin spread on Jamie’s face and he simply said, “Aye.”
He was a man of few words after all!
~ The End ~
Author’s Notes:
As a native New Yorker, I understand the boldness of our heroine Sinead. I also understand the need for romance and so I have been fascinated with the past, especially the middle ages. I became a member of a re-enactment group back in the 1980’s after attending a medieval faire at Fort Tryon Park which sits atop a big hill and overlooks the Hudson. There, you can find the Cloister Museum which was designed to look like a true medieval castle. It is a wondrous place with many artifacts and treasures, including the Unicorn Tapestries. I had not known back in the day, that one could not take pictures of the contents of the museum and so when I snapped a shot of the Unicorn in Captivity tapestry, I was promptly escorted out. I, returned several occasions thereafter and having learned my lesson, I just enjoyed being in the Cloisters, which is a subsidiary of the Metropolitan Museum. It includes a walled garden (the actual cloister) filled with the many plants, herbs and flowers seen in the background of the Unicorn Tapestries. Roosters roam freely on the grounds and once during a picnic, one crowed loudly from above us in the branches of a tree. It is a fabulous place in any season.
While the feuds between MacKenzie and MacCollum were fictional, I took the liberty of creating the clashes to secure their place in my Celtic Storm series. All books can be read independently, as that is how I wrote them, and Celtic Blizzard was designed to be the prequel to all of them.
As a side note, I had intended Celtic Blizzard to be a novella, but sometimes, I do believe the players involved will have their story told how they wish it and so Celtic Blizzard is a full novel to tempt and urge you to read the other stories in the series.
