by Pat Tucker
She stopped and glanced around the room at each of our faces.
“Good. I love when I have me a sharp and attentive group. Also, you can’t come up in here high or drunk. If you do, or if I catch a contact, or you even look like you’re under the influence of any substance or alcohol, ain’t no point in you tryin’ to concoct no lie, ’cause I’ll call and have you arrested myself. Please do not test me!” she warned.
Her neck snaked while she issued that threat.
“You here ’cause you have a drinking problem. And the problem is more than you just gettin’ drunk and fallin’ down. I don’t care why you drink. I don’t care whether you deny your drinkin’ problem. The bottom line is, if you didn’t have a problem, you wouldn’t be here,” she said.
I hated her already.
By the time she finished her rules, my desire to cause bodily injury to myself had intensified significantly. I couldn’t believe I had to sit through not one, but three, of these retarded, brain-numbing, demeaning sessions.
And, honestly, who was that chick? What made her qualified to teach anybody anything? She looked like a recovering druggie who had lived a very hard life.
I braced myself and prepared for what I was certain would be the most difficult three hours of my life.
Everything she said rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t simply her ebonics that made me cringe. I understood that my anger was really misdirected, but I didn’t care. Compared to the hoodlums in the class, I was a respectable, upstanding citizen, and I didn’t appreciate having to be in the same room, much less the same category, as any of them.
What really tripped me out was the fact that some of them had the nerve to be trying to get to know one another. My ears perked as I heard a few of them as they traded notes about which drug classes and which instructors were best.
“Dude, Martinez is the homeboy! I can’t tell you how many times he let us sign in and bounce!” one of the gang members boasted.
Hence the reason you’re right back here again, I wanted to say, but didn’t.
I couldn’t understand why the instructor hadn’t shut them down. She was so busy laying down the law that the lawbreakers had free reign.
Hours later, unable to wrap my mind around how I’d ever made it through the first session, I nearly bolted for the door the minute the clock struck half past nine.
For the first time since it was installed, I had no problem blowing into the interlock device in my car. I wanted to get home, and I wanted to get there quickly.
Where did that tramp get off telling any of us we had a drinking problem? Who had died and left her in charge of anything? I was fit to be tied by the time I pulled up at home. The truth was, I wish I had someplace else to go. After being in class with that witch, the last place I wanted to be was at home up under Zion and his bad disposition.
I pulled into the driveway and dialed Darby’s number. If nothing else, she could come pick me up, and we could go somewhere and have a drink. Just because I drank didn’t make me an out-of-control alcoholic, and I didn’t appreciate being treated like one either.
When Darby didn’t answer, I considered Peta, but figured she’d be home with Kendal, and I wasn’t trying to be around any kids.
The realization that my only other option was to go inside made me feel worse than I did in class. Had my life really crumbled to the kind of people who went to work, went home, rested, only to do it all over again?
My front door opened, and the porch light flicked on. All of a sudden, Zion walked out shirtless and barefoot. He approached the car.
“So, how long you planning to hang out in the car?”
“I’m coming in now,” I lied.
“Oh good, ’cause I saw you when you pulled up, and I’ve been waiting for you to come in. Ted called earlier, and I need to fill you in on the latest,” he said.
I rolled my eyes as I climbed out of the car. I wasn’t sure what bugged me the most—the fact that my attorney always felt the need to update my husband instead of me, or the fact that my husband seemed to get some kind of controlling upper hand when he knew information about my case before I did.
52
PETA
I had to sleep with Kendal. She was too spooked to sleep alone. If only I would’ve been able to stomach the sad and confused look on her face when she called Kyle and only got his voicemail.
“Honey, come over here. Let me talk to you,” I said.
“Okay, Mom, but I’m about to call Dad again. I don’t know why he’s not answering his phone.”
“That’s what I wanna talk to you about.” I patted an empty space next to me.
“I didn’t want you to worry, but your dad is in the hospital.”
My child’s eyes grew wide and tears quickly spilled over the rims.
“In the hospital?” she asked.
“Yeah, I was trying to wait until I had some information to tell you, but I still don’t know anything.”
“M-o-o-o-m! We need to go to the hospital. Why are we sitting here doing nothing?”
“We can’t, sweetie. I called and they told me he’s still in intensive care. That means he can’t have any visitors.” I needed more time to think, so I had to tell her that she couldn’t see him just yet.
Kendal burst into uncontrollable tears. For the first time since it had happened, I felt bad. If Kyle had died, I couldn’t imagine what I would’ve done. I hated him, but my love for her was unshakable.
If I had to do it all over again, I would’ve thought before I acted on impulse. Kyle and I didn’t get along anymore, but he was still my daughter’s father. And what he had done was beyond dirty, but I could’ve handled it differently.
The next morning, I was up before the sun. I had experienced the very worst night of sleep that I could remember. I fixed a large breakfast for my daughter and met her at the bottom of the stairs.
“You’re going to school today?” I asked.
“Yeah, Mom, I can’t see Dad, and if I stay home, it’s only gonna make me sad.”
I had done lots of things wrong, but Kendal was by far the best thing I had ever done. I wanted to beg her to stay home—not for her, but for me. What if I was arrested before she made it home from school?
Beverly had called several times last night to check on me, and I assured her I was fine, but inside. I felt like crap.
We ate breakfast quietly, and my daughter looked broken. It hurt me to see her so incredibly sad.
“You sure you’re okay to go to school today?”
“Yeah, Mom, but when I get home, if we still haven’t heard anything, we should go up there. Okay?”
“Okay, honey.”
How could I ever admit to her that I was the reason he was in the hospital in the first place? I had to figure out a way to forgive myself.
After Kendal left, I got up and began to clean up the kitchen. I poured myself a drink and took a break. Emotionally, I was a complete mess.
The only thing I could think to do was go to the hospital and check up on Kyle myself. I thought of a thousand reasons why I should stay away from there, but the desire to make my daughter feel better outweighed each one of them.
I still had tons of time to make up my mind, so I picked up my drink and took a sip. I didn’t want to go to the hospital and get arrested, but I hadn’t heard back from the detectives so I wasn’t too worried about that.
The TV had been on while I cleaned the kitchen, but I didn’t become aware of it until one of Pamela’s commercials came blaring through it.
“That’s who I needed to kill,” I said.
I closed my eyes at the thought. I was in a mess! Now I was thinking murderous thoughts. It was unbelievable. When I finished the drink, I decided to change and check in with Beverly and Farah.
If Pamela was back at the site again, I would give myself a free pass to commit murder for sure.
“You doing okay?” Beverly asked when she answered the phone.
“I’m making it. I was
calling to see if Pamela’s back?”
“No, she didn’t show up today. Maybe she developed some common sense and set up shop elsewhere,” Beverly said.
“Yeah, let’s hope so. I saw one of her commercials and figured I’d call to check in.”
“We’ve had a great morning, so we’re doing okay over here,” Beverly said. “How are things in Sugar Land?”
“I’m gonna call when I’m off with you. I wanted to make sure Pamela didn’t circle back around.”
“Nah, she didn’t. It’s all good out here,” Beverly assured me. I was glad to hear that. That was one less thing for me to worry about. “Oh, Peta, before you go, have you heard anything more from the guy who we talked to in your kitchen?”
“No, no, I haven’t. Is that a good sign?” I asked.
“Yeah, for now. But when they talk to him, things could change. I’m sure all will be fine as long as you remember what we discussed. Besides, I think it was believable.”
“You know, I never said thanks for your help with that,” I said.
“Please, boss lady. You thanked me when you gave me another chance on that truck. Speaking of which, any news about when we might hear something?”
“I plan to call them later today, so I’ll be sure to check back in with you,” I replied.
My mind was made up. I was going to the hospital, and I’d find out what, if anything, Kyle would have to say. It was wild to me that he held the key to my freedom. But that was the hole I had dug for myself.
I rinsed the glass and went upstairs to get dressed. I had a nice little buzz going, and I felt good.
Nearly an hour later, I walked outside and inhaled deeply. I loved springtime in Houston, which would probably be the equivalent to summer in some parts of the country.
Instead of going straight to my car, I decided to check the mail. I hadn’t done that in a few days.
The mailbox looked more like I hadn’t checked it in weeks instead of days. I stood with the door open and rifled through the stacks of mail.
“Junk, junk, and more junk,” I said as I searched for anything of interest. “Bills, bills, and more bills.” Something dropped, and I stooped down to pick it up.
“Oh, Jesus!” I quickly grabbed the envelope off the ground and fixed my eyes on it. “Is this a check?”
My adrenaline soared as I ripped the envelope open. After months of the runaround, the insurance company had cut a check. Just like that. I was beyond stunned. But nothing could prepare me for the numbers my eyes fixated on.
“They gave me ninety-five thousand dollars?”
53
DARBY
My head began to pound the moment my eyes connected with theirs. Horror was stretched all across my face. But mine wasn’t the only one twisted all out of shape.
His mouth pinched into a scowl and I watched, as all of the color drained from his cheeks.
“I need you to go!” I pointed away from my front door. “Why do you keep doing this?” I screamed at my brother. I couldn’t believe Roger had brought her back by again. After the last disaster, I couldn’t understand why he insisted on allowing this drama to unfold. My brother and I used to be very close. The things he had done lately made me wonder whether he got some joy out of the craziness that was my mother in my presence.
I inadvertently shoved Chandler behind me, but that did nothing to shield him from the building drama. My mother’s performance at the sight of Chandler leaving my house was worthy of nothing less than an Academy Award.
“Oh, dear God Almighty!” she yelped, as she threw a thick arm over her forehead and stumbled backward. A part of me wondered how loud the thump would’ve been had Roger not rushed to catch her.
“Why me? Why me?” she cried. “Oh dear God, why me, Lord? Why me?”
Chandler looked at the scene that played out before us, and he gave me a look that said how sorry he was. I shook my head.
I was caught in an awful place. I couldn’t tell him to go back inside, and I wasn’t comfortable that he had to pass the circus to get to his car.
The near-perfect spring afternoon had turned on me quicker than a racecar driver on his victory lap.
“Mama, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Roger tried to soothe her.
My mother hollered and wailed like she did the day they lowered my sister’s coffin into the ground. The only thing missing was flapping arms and legs. Because I knew her, I also knew those antics were not far behind.
“You murderer! You filthy murderer! Every dime of your money has blood on it. Your wealth got you off!”
“Chandler, I’m sorry. Here, let me walk you to your car,” I offered. I was totally embarrassed. I didn’t know what else to say. But I did know that I needed him gone.
“You traitor! How could you betray your entire family for this filthy, murdering dog? Oh, God! Where did I go wrong? Why am I being punished? Does your husband know what you’re doing? Does he know?” she lashed out at me.
“Ma’am, I am so sorry,” Chandler said in her direction. I struggled to hold him back and ward her and her over-the-top theatrics off at the same time.
“You sickening, murderous bastard. If you were on fire, I wouldn’t spit on your behind. Don’t you ever, ever, speak to me!” she yelled. “You killed my child!”
But her best words were saved for me. She whipped her head in my direction. “He will drag you right down to the filthy gutter, and you’re gonna lose every damn thing!”
When she began to claw toward her chest, I rolled my eyes. Chandler didn’t want to leave, but I desperately needed him to go. People had started to come out of their houses.
The scene my mother created was nothing short of a ripe, ghetto attraction. Who yelled out in the streets and flung themselves all over like a fish out of water? Gawkers pointed and stared in our direction. I felt so ashamed. This wasn’t the kind of thing that happened in our quiet, middle-class subdivision.
“Darby, I think she’s really hurt,” Chandler tried to say.
“Trust me, she’s not. The only thing that hurts her is the fact that you are here with me. Please, honey, go. Go, and I’ll call you later,” I said.
“Mama!” Roger cried.
I was pissed at him. He had to stop bringing her by my house. Enough was enough! The minute I got Chandler on his way, I’d give them both a piece of my mind. The craziness had to stop.
“Please, somebody call nine-one-one!” Roger yelled.
Chandler was nearly on the damn sidewalk. I stopped and sighed. I wanted to tell him to keep it moving, but I knew he wouldn’t budge.
“Oh, God, please don’t take my mama,” Roger wailed.
Chandler sidestepped me and rushed to their side. He kneeled down, pulled out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. I thought for sure I might pass out next.
By the time all was said and done, a small crowd that consisted of neighbors and firefighters was spread out all across my yard.
When Kevin drove up with the boys, and Chandler was still there in the thick of things, I begged the Lord to take me right where I stood.
“What the hell is going on? Boys, get in the house,” Kevin growled.
My kids scrambled into the house as they looked at all of the activity in our yard.
Kevin looked around at me, and then back at the crowd.
“Okay, folks. Let’s break this up. What’s going on?” he asked.
Right then, the stretcher was hoisted and loaded into the back of the ambulance. And the timing couldn’t have been any worse.
“If our mama dies, I’ll never ever forgive you, or him.” Roger spat as he climbed into the back of the ambulance.
I closed my eyes and tried to stave off the tears.
“What the hell is this all about?” Kevin asked me.
He looked at Chandler; then he looked at me again.
“What’s up, dude, you need help with something?” Chandler eased closer to me, and I was mortified. What was he doing? I needed him to run to his ca
r.
“Darby, what the hell? Who is this joker?” Kevin asked.
“Let’s talk later,” I said. I wasn’t sure which one I had spoken to and it didn’t matter.
It was way too late, but Chandler finally caught a clue and started toward his car.
“Yo, man, what business you got with my wife?” Kevin asked.
When he grabbed at Chandler’s shoulder, once again, I began to pray. The crowd had started to thin out.
“Ask your wife,” Chandler said, and jerked from Kevin.
Kevin looked back at me quizzically; the sneer on his face told me he was ready to kill. I blinked rapidly, swallowed nervously, and tried to pull myself together. Under his narrow-eyed glare, I couldn’t stand it. I turned and walked back inside on very shaky legs.
54
IVEE
Sounds of the normal hustle and bustle of any professional business were fully underway when I walked into my office. The noises from people talking, constant chatter, and office machines that hummed filled the air. I was still on my cell phone as I strolled down the hallway and past several offices.
It was official. Wayne had delivered his company and gave me a promising lead on another company to bring to the firm. My hard work had paid off, and I was excited.
I passed by the administrative pods and slowed as I approached my assistant’s desk.
“Jessica, please find Geneva for me. I need to talk to her,” I said as I passed.
She was on the phone, but pulled it away from her face and covered the mouthpiece with her hand. “Oh, I’m glad you said something. She’s looking for you, too.”
That stopped me in my tracks. Suddenly, all sounds were mute as my brain absorbed what Jessica had said. The last time I had seen Geneva she had rushed away from my doorway like something was on fire. Nearly three weeks had passed, and I hadn’t heard anything from her. Now, all of a sudden, she’d been looking for me.
I took a few steps backward and stopped in front of Jessica’s desk.
