by Donna Grant
She put her other hand atop their joined ones. “I don’t. Because of that time I discovered new power within me. Perhaps it was always there and just needed a reason to break loose.”
Balladyn’s gaze swung back to her. “You would’ve found that power eventually. I don’t like knowing I hurt you.”
“My life is more out of control now than ever before. I don’t know which way is up anymore. I feel like I’m falling, and I’m desperately trying to grab ahold of something.”
“Then hold onto me,” Balladyn said.
She looked into his red eyes, his plea reflected there. Rhi didn’t know what the future held, nor did she try and find out. What she did know was that having Balladyn by her side was what she wanted. “I won’t turn Dark.”
“I know.”
“But you want to rule the Dark. This will never work between us.”
“Why not give it a try and see?” he asked. “We’ll never know if we don’t try.”
Rhi lowered her gaze to the white sand. “If anyone ever discovers us, it won’t be good.”
“Are you frightened of what the Dragon Kings might say?” he asked in a hard voice.
Her eyes jerked to him. “No. But some of them are my friends, and if they need me, I’ll be there for them.”
“And your King?”
Rhi was thankful Balladyn didn’t say his name. “He hasn’t been mine in eons. He’s already moved on.”
Balladyn searched her eyes. “Have you?”
“Yes.”
He leaned forward and gently placed his lips on hers. Then he rested his forehead against hers and sighed. “I’ve loved you for so long that I feared this would never come to pass. Now that I’ve had you and tasted you, I’ll never get enough.”
Rhi closed her eyes and smiled, even though her heart was heavy. She didn’t understand the feeling, nor could she discern what was causing it.
“You’re all mine now,” Balladyn whispered.
Rhi’s smile grew. “Yes, I am. And you’re mine.”
“Nothing will ever tear us apart.”
She lifted her head to look into his eyes. There, just around the edges, the red was fading to a brilliant silver. Rhi didn’t mention it. Whatever it was that pulled Balladyn back to the light was enough for her.
Balladyn went to kiss her again, when he turned his head to the side and let out a string of curses.
“What is it?” Rhi asked worriedly.
He blew out a breath. “Taraeth is calling for me.”
“Then go,” she urged. “You’re his right hand, Balladyn. Remain that way.”
“Just until I take over as King.”
She gripped his hand when he got to his feet. As she looked up at him, she hated the fear that suddenly enveloped her. “Be careful.”
“Always.”
“You don’t have to be king of the Dark.”
He squatted in front of her, a half grin in place. “I most certainly do, my love.”
With a wink, he was gone.
Rhi dropped her hand to the sand. She’d known something was developing between her and Balladyn. He’d professed his love earlier, and she had kissed him a few times.
It was how she found herself thinking of him more and more that pushed her to consider letting go of the past and her Dragon King lover. Before her stood a Fae who was willing to do whatever it took to have her.
Why should she pine for a King who would never give her the time of day again? She’d wasted thousands of years on him. She deserved happiness, to be loved and worshipped, and to have a future.
Rhi stood. Behind her, she felt her watcher’s eyes on her. She didn’t bother to put clothes on. He’d seen all there was to see of her.
For far too long she’d felt the need to hide herself—her feelings, her wants and desires, dreams and wishes. No longer. She was done pretending. Whether anyone liked it or not, this was who she was.
* * *
Daire couldn’t take his eyes from Rhi. She was stunning, standing glorious in the moonlight. The breeze lifted her long hair so that it billowed out behind her, as if reaching for him. She stood straight and tall at the foot of the ocean.
Her bronze skin glowed a soft blue from the light of the moon. The only sound was the waves crashing onto shore and the palm trees swaying.
Rhi hadn’t spoken since Balladyn’s departure. Though Daire smiled when she turned to look his way. She knew he was still there, and she didn’t seem to mind.
“Are you judging me?” she asked softly.
Daire knew the question was directed at him. He didn’t like that she’d chosen Balladyn, but he understood why. Rhi was like any woman. She needed love and attention. She needed to know that someone wanted and desired her, that someone yearned for her and loved her.
She hadn’t gotten it from her Dragon King. It was time she received that attention from someone. Daire wished it had been him, though it was forbidden.
None of the Reapers could have relationships. Well … that was the rule since Death created them—until recently.
He wasn’t jealous of Baylon and Jordyn’s happiness. In fact, he was glad that one of the Reapers had found some. Jordyn, a half-Fae, was now a Reaper herself, which allowed her and Baylon to be together.
Daire was fine desiring Rhi from afar. She was someone he could never have, and not even Baylon’s coupling could give him hope that he might get the same.
Never, he answered Rhi in his mind. It wasn’t his right to judge her—not after all he’d done.
He couldn’t talk to her, wouldn’t talk to her. Nor was he allowed to show himself. His orders were to follow her wherever she went and determine who she was allied with.
Death saw Rhi as someone important in the upcoming battle, and Daire had to agree. The more he was around Rhi, the more he saw the powerful magic within her.
She might not always make the right decisions, but who did? No one was perfect. What kept Rhi off kilter was the love she had held onto for ages. However, it appeared she was letting go once and for all of whatever hope she had of a life with a Dragon King.
It was the right move, of that Daire was positive. What that would mean for everyone else though, remained to be seen. He didn’t think Rhi knew her potential. Yet.
Once she did, it would change the entire landscape of the current war.
Daire walked to stand beside her. He was close enough to touch, but he kept his hands to himself. His gaze slid to the side and looked at her pink-tipped nipples and taut breasts.
He’d seen her being goofy. He’d seen her focused as she shopped for shoes. He’d witnessed her mellow as she got her nails done.
He’d seen her joy, her pain … and her sorrow.
He had witnessed her bravery in battle, and her skill with a sword. He’d watched, mesmerized, as she put herself in harm’s way just to help a friend.
It wasn’t surprising she was the only female in Fae history to join the Queen’s Guard. And she had been one of the very few who walked away from such an honor.
No wonder Death took an interest in Rhi.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ryder stood and watched Kinsey. The minutes ticked by as she slept the sleep of the dead. She’d always had the ability to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime. And once asleep, she was hard to wake.
He briefly thought about taking off her boots, but her reaction when she found him carrying her kept him at the door.
When he lifted her in his arms in the computer room, it had felt as if he finally had what was missing from his life. He’d simply held her as she rested her head on his shoulder, savoring the moment.
It had felt like heaven. Ryder even contemplated lying next to her in bed. Then she had lifted her head and jumped out of his arms as if he were some monster.
Except to her, he was.
And that’s what hurt the most.
Ryder looked to the side when he felt someone approach. Dmitri said nothing as he peered inside the room. Ryder knew he sh
ould shut the door and back away, but he couldn’t make his feet move.
“If you want her, fight for her,” Dmitri said.
Ryder wished it were that simple. “She’s terrified of me.”
“She didna look too scared earlier when the two of you were talking.”
“That is until she remembers what I am.”
“Then show her she has nothing to be afraid of,” Dmitri said, as if the solution was so simple even an idiot could figure it out.
Ryder glanced at the ceiling in frustration. Then he said, “I left her.”
“That makes you a proper bastard then.”
Leave it to Dmitri to state it so succinctly. “Aye,” Ryder said. “It does.”
“The two of you had something special. Find it again.”
“She’s moved on with her life.”
Dmitri snorted loudly and glared at Ryder. “She doesna have a man. That tells me you still have a chance.”
Did he? Ryder wasn’t so sure. “You didna see the way she looked at me when I shifted. Or hear her scream.”
“Give her some slack. She was in a war zone, Ryder.”
“Just now she practically flew out of my arms when she woke to find me carrying her.”
At that, Dmitri twisted his lips. “You might have more work than I expected. But answer me this, do you want her?”
“Aye.”
“Do you love her?”
Ryder nodded. “Verra much so.”
“Is she worth fighting for?”
“In every way.”
Dmitri slapped him on the back. “Then that is what you need to do. Now. Get your ugly arse in there and remove her boots while I get some food for her.”
“Food?” Had Ryder forgotten to feed her?
Dmitri rolled his eyes. “I knew you’d forget. You become focused on those damn computers, and you ignore everything else.”
“No’ everything,” Ryder mumbled as Dmitri walked away.
Ryder slowly moved into his room. He hadn’t known where else to take Kinsey. As he walked around the four-poster bed stained so dark it was nearly black, he imagined crawling into his bed and having Kinsey curl up next to him like they used to sleep.
It was a fantasy of his from the first time they’d made love. Once he returned to Dreagan and took a look at his bed, it had been impossible to sleep there and not think of her. Which is why he hadn’t used his bed in three years.
One of her feet was hanging off the side of the bed. He tenderly grasped one leg and unzipped the boot before tugging it off. He repeated the process on her second foot before placing the boots beside the chair.
Next, he gently gave her a nudge at her side. Kinsey immediately rolled over, allowing him to tug down the comforter.
When he saw her blazer, he knew he had to remove it. Ryder grasped the hem at her wrist and pulled upward at the same time he got her to turn back onto her stomach. One arm fell out of the jacket.
It took some doing to get her other arm from beneath her so he could tug it free. Ryder then folded the blazer and laid it over the back of the chair.
He turned back to her and had the urge to sink his fingers into her wealth of dark hair. It was so silky smooth that he’d never tired of touching it.
It wasn’t just her hair he longed to touch. It was her. All of her. To have held her, and had her all to himself for a year had been the most amazing time.
If only he could reverse time and remain with her. If only he had known Ulrik broke the spell binding their feelings. If only he had returned to her after Hal and Cassie fell in love.
If only he’d had the courage to embrace the love he felt.
But love—the soul-deep, life-altering emotion—was new for him. It had terrified Ryder, especially since he was the one always in control.
Computers—or any electronics—were easy to manipulate and get to do what you wanted. Ryder was at ease around them. Mostly because they did whatever he wanted.
His feelings for Kinsey, however, were completely out of his control. He couldn’t get a handle on them. Even now, years later, he felt as if he was just learning to walk again.
Kinsey was unpredictable and stubborn. She was wildly seductive without even trying. She twisted his insides until he wasn’t sure which way was up. All Ryder knew was that with her beside him, the future didn’t look so bleak.
“Kinsey,” he whispered and touched her hair.
He shouldn’t have dared even that, because now he couldn’t walk away. Ryder rubbed his jaw as he contemplated an idea. With as hard as Kinsey slept, she’d never know if he climbed into bed with her.
And he’d be gone long before she woke.
Dmitri walked in at that moment with a tray. There was a covered plate and a bottle of water. He set it on the table near the fireplace and straightened. Then Dmitri looked from Ryder to Kinsey before he turned on his heel and left the room without a word.
Ryder closed the door after him so no one else would disturb them. Then he returned to the bed and rolled Kinsey into his arms so he could lay her head on the pillow.
She sighed contentedly, making his balls tighten.
He should leave. It was the right thing to do. Kinsey was frightened of him, of who he was. She didn’t want him touching her or even being too close. It didn’t seem right to secretly sleep next to her.
Why then was he walking to the other side of the bed?
Ryder sat down on the mattress and kicked off his boots. He lay back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. This might be the closest he’d ever come to being in his bed with Kinsey.
That thought made his chest ache so badly he rubbed it with his hand. How could he have screwed this up so royally with Kinsey? If only she hadn’t seen him shift there might still be a chance between them.
To his surprise, Kinsey suddenly rolled over and snuggled against him. Ryder pulled her closer before he tugged the blankets over her.
He closed his eyes and put every detail to memory. The sound of her even breathing, the feel of her hand on his chest, the warmth of her body.
He wished he had gotten beneath the covers with her, but this was all he dared. Nothing was going to happen. No matter how much he might want it.
Kinsey was a kindhearted person. She didn’t hold a grudge long, but then again, he had left her. As well as not mentioning what he really was.
Yet there had been something profound and deep between them. Looking back, he thought she might have been falling in love with him.
If she cared for him once, she could again. It just depended on how far Ryder was willing to go for her.
Besides, Dmitri was right. She was worth fighting for.
Ryder tucked his free arm behind his head and smiled.
* * *
Kinsey woke famished. She rolled onto her back and rubbed her eyes. Her stomach was rumbling fiercely. She wondered if she could get to the kitchen without running into anyone when she turned her head and spotted the tray.
She jerked upright and yanked the covers off before jumping out of bed. Kinsey opened the bottle of water and downed half of it. Then she took the lid off the plate and gazed at the array of bread, crackers, and cheese. Without hesitation she began to eat.
After the entire plate was cleaned, she realized her boots were carefully placed beside the chair she was sitting on. Since she couldn’t remember taking them off, she wondered who did.
Was it Ryder?
A shiver raced over her as she imagined him touching her without her knowing it. If he was going to place his hands on her, she wanted to be awake so she could remember it.
She looked down at her white T-shirt. Where was her blazer? Kinsey rose and turned around, looking for it. She spied it on the back of the chair.
Someone had obviously undressed her that far. She might not toss them on the floor, but she certainly didn’t take that kind of care with her clothes.
Ryder.
She recalled how meticulous he could be with his things. He must hav
e removed her blazer and boots. And she slept through it all.
Kinsey hurried back to the bed and looked to see if there was evidence that he’d stayed with her, but the other pillow had no indentation on it.
She should be thrilled about that. Why then was she disappointed?
You don’t want him, remember, she told herself. He’s bad for me.
Ryder made her forget everything but him. All she cared about was being with him, sharing her life with him. It had taken her forever to remember the person she had been before him, and she didn’t want to go down that path again.
A knock at the door startled her. She took a deep breath before she padded across the wood floor and the thick rug to the door. She cracked it open and stared into hazel eyes.
“Good morning,” Ryder said with a warm smile. “Did you sleep well?”
She stepped back to open the door wider and quickly smoothed down her hair. “Yeah. Oh, and good morning.”
“I see you found the tray. I apologize for no’ getting you food yesterday.”
Kinsey crossed her arms over her chest and put some distance between them. “I should’ve said something.”
“Next time, please do.”
“I will,” she promised.
They stared at each other in silence. She liked the shadow of a beard on his face. It made him look even more devilishly handsome.
Damn him. Couldn’t he look horrible, just once?
But she knew for a fact he always looked this good.
“There’s a bathroom behind you,” Ryder said as he pointed over her shoulder. “You should find everything you need there.”
She nodded. “My bag?”
“In the room as well.”
He started to leave, then hesitated. Ryder turned his head to her. “I doona want you to be scared of me, Kins. I’m the man you knew before. I’m just … something more as well.”
“But I didn’t know you before. You kept this from me.”
“It was our rule. We told no one. You’d still be ignorant of it if that Dark hadna attacked you.”
She licked her lips. “I told you everything about me. I held nothing back. You held everything.”
“I told you all that I could.”
“Which was very little. Was anything you told me the truth? What about your parents? Did they really live in the mountains?”
