I couldn’t say anything. I tried, but my words got caught in my throat, and I was afraid I might cry. I was sorry too. I was sorry about a lot of things.
“Mae?” My mother’s voice came through the phone, slightly panicked. “Honey, are you there?”
“I’m okay,” I sniffed, putting her on speaker and laying the phone down on the bed. “I’m just . . . sad.”
“I think that’s only natural.”
“It hurts, Mom,” I said, tearing up again. “I didn’t realize how much until you called. But it just hurts.”
“Do you want me to come up there?” my mother asked. “I can be there in just a few hours.”
“I’m okay,” I said. “I mean, I will be.”
“Are you sure?”
“I think so,” I replied.
“Maeve,” my mother began. “I know that Annabelle was your mother.”
“You’re my mother,” I said.
“Just listen.” My mother let out a breath into the phone and then continued, “I know that Annabelle was your mother. She’s part of you in a way that I’m not, and even now, all these years later, it’s hard for me to admit. I never wanted for you to deny that part of yourself because you were afraid of hurting my feelings. I was supposed to set an example for you in that respect, and I know that I wasn’t always good at it.”
“You have always been a good mom,” I replied. “Always, and I’m so glad that you chose me.”
“I’m glad Annabelle chose us,” my mother said. “I hope that you understand the courage it took for her to give you up, and I wish so much I’d been able to tell her that.”
“I don’t think I understood the kind of courage it took until yesterday,” I said. “I don’t think I understood a lot of things until yesterday.”
“Life is full of things we don’t understand,” my mother replied. “You’re lucky. Some of us never figure it out.”
Chapter 29
I NAPPED ON AND OFF FOR A FEW HOURS, BUT I COULDN’T ever really get to sleep. I just had so much to think about, and when Alice called and asked me to meet her and Florence at the shop later that afternoon, I was glad for the distraction. I got up and, after getting dressed, found myself in Annabelle’s bedroom, just staring at it as if I’d never seen it before.
I guessed in some ways, I hadn’t. I’d been angry when I arrived in Timber Creek, and I’d felt guilty about feeling angry. In fact, this was the way I’d been feeling for a long time, and the way my life had been going lately, I was just used to feeling like nothing was ever going to be okay. For a long time, I’d believed that being an adult meant having my life together, and I’d convinced myself that since I didn’t have my life together, I wasn’t a real adult. I thought my life needed to be all smooth surfaces or I was doing it wrong. What I’d begun to realize, though, was that everyone, absolutely everyone, had cracks.
I sat down on the bed and began to look through a basket of knitting supplies. I knew that Annabelle had done the best she could with the life she was given, and I wished that I’d had the chance to tell her so. At the bottom of the basket was the beginning of what looked like a very small sweater. I knew that it must have been something she was working on with the ladies of St. Francis. I pulled it out and decided that when I got to the shop, I’d ask Alice for help.
I was a little nervous about what Alice and Florence wanted to talk about, but I figured it had something to do with the unfinished conversation the night before. At the very least, I could apologize for acting the way I had and for giving out a starter kit when I knew I shouldn’t have. Still, I didn’t understand why giving out yarn and some knitting needles was a problem.
The shop was dark when I pulled up outside, and the door was locked. For a minute I thought maybe I’d hallucinated the phone call. Then I heard the lock click, and Florence ushered me inside.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “Why is it so dark in here?”
“Come to the back,” Florence replied.
I followed her back into her apartment, and I was surprised when I got there to find not only Alice but also Yulina and Ani.
“Hi,” I said to Yulina.
“Hello,” Yulina replied. She shifted Ani from one hip to the other. She tried to smile, but faltered, and I noticed how tired she looked. There was another element there that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Fear?
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Have a seat,” Alice said. “There’s something we need to tell you.”
Alice sat down beside me, and Florence sat down beside her. Yulina sat down on a blanket on the floor and released Ani to play. I stared at the three of them. Their faces were all so serious, and I felt for a moment like I couldn’t breathe.
“Florence and I,” Alice began, gesturing to her friend, “along with the rest of the women of St. Francis, have a secret, and given what you know now about Annabelle, we thought it was time for you to know about us too.”
“What is it?” I asked, my heart pounding. “I don’t think I can take much more right now. I’ve just about had my fill of secrets lately.”
“This is a secret you’ll have to help us keep, if we tell you,” Florence said. “Lives depend on it. Lives in this room depend on it.”
I looked down at Yulina and Ani. Ani had a small truck that she was raking across the carpet, making little truck noises. Yulina wasn’t looking at me. She wasn’t looking anywhere, really. She was sitting like a statue on the floor, her back rigid and her eyes unfocused.
“Okay,” I said. “What is it?”
“Our knitting group,” Alice said, “is also a network of women helping other women survive and escape domestic violence. The shop is a knitting shop, of course, but when a woman comes in and asks for a starter kit, it’s because she’s asking for help. That’s why we didn’t want you to give them out without knowing what they were for.”
“Annabelle and Alice came to me just after I opened the shop with the idea,” Florence cut in. “They didn’t want anybody to have to go through what they’d been through—they didn’t want another mother to be parted from a child because she had no resources and no one to help her.”
“Annabelle tried to help me,” Yulina said, finally looking up and over at me. “Before she . . . before she was gone. I was afraid.”
“Are you okay now?” I asked her, moving to the floor to take her hands in mine. “Are you safe?”
“We’re moving her and Ani to a safe house tonight,” Florence replied. “Abel drives to the houses for us. He’s the only one who ever knows where they go, because the fewer people who know, the better.”
“I am sorry for putting you in the middle,” Yulina said to me. “I should not have done that.”
“How did you put me in the middle?” I asked.
“The knitting needles,” she replied. “Annabelle gave them to me. She told me to give them to her when I was ready to leave.”
“We knew what they were when you showed them to us,” Alice said. “It was a signal.”
“I am so sorry,” Yulina repeated.
“No,” I said, squeezing her hands again. “It’s okay. I’m glad you gave them to me. I’m glad that you’re going to be okay.”
“Gary knows you saw us,” Yulina continued.
Alice knitted her eyebrows together. “What are you talking about, Yulina?”
“I saw them the other night,” I said. “During the storm. He made her stand in the front yard in the pouring rain. I was out looking for Sherbet, and I saw them.”
“It was humiliating,” Yulina said.
“And then I saw them at the gas station, and I said something to Gary about it,” I said. “I was so angry and confused and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No,” Florence agreed. “You shouldn’t have. You’ve put yourself in danger.”
“He’s going to think I had something to do with this?” I asked.
“He might,” Florence replied. “I’m sure he’
s already looking for her. She’s not answering his calls, and he knows something is wrong.”
“It might be best if you went back to Seattle for a few days,” Alice said. “Just until things calm down. Gary will be beside himself when he realizes what’s going on.”
“I’m not going back to Seattle,” I said. “Not even for a few days. I’m here, and I’m staying, and I’m not going to let Gary intimidate me.”
“Don’t be stubborn,” Alice replied. “This isn’t about intimidation. It’s about keeping you safe.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“She can stay with me,” Abel said, appearing in the doorway.
“I don’t want to stay with anyone,” I said, exasperated.
“Please,” Yulina said. “It will make me feel better if you do.”
I sighed. “Okay,” I said, and she reached out to hug me. “Fine, if it will make you feel better.”
“We should get going,” Abel said to Yulina. “Now that it’s dark.”
“You can stay here until Abel gets back,” Alice said.
“I need to go get Happy and Sherbet. I can’t leave Happy alone for too long. I think it makes her scared, and she eats things like doors,” I replied. “And some clothes. I’m not going unless they can stay too.”
“Of course,” Abel said. “Get them, but don’t go alone.”
“You guys are acting like Gary might try to kill me or something,” I said, half joking.
The four of them stared at me, and Yulina said, very quietly, “He might.”
If I hadn’t understood the severity of the situation before, I understood it now, looking into Yulina’s frightened eyes. “Okay,” I replied. “Alice, could you go with me? Then we can come back here and wait.”
Alice nodded. “I’ll follow you in my car,” she said. “We can leave the Bug parked at the house. That way if Gary happens to drive by, he won’t see it anywhere but at the house.”
Abel caught my arm as we exited the shop. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For the way I acted before. Can we talk tonight?”
“You don’t owe me an apology,” I replied.
“Please. There are some things I want to say.”
“Me too,” I said. “Okay. We’ll talk tonight.”
I watched him help Yulina strap Ani into her car seat, making funny faces at the little girl as he tightened the harness. I hoped with every single fiber of my being that wherever he was taking them, it would be the first stop on their way to a life where neither one of them ever had to be afraid again.
Chapter 30
ALICE PULLED UP TO THE CURB AND GOT OUT. “CAN I help with anything?” she asked.
“Do you know if Annabelle had a cat carrier?”
“I think she kept a couple in the garage,” Alice said. “I can go check for you while you’re getting your stuff together.”
“That would be awesome,” I said. “Thanks. It won’t take me but a minute.”
I busied myself packing and Happy came to sit beside me, her tail doing a thump, thump, thump while she waited for me.
“Don’t worry,” I said to her. “You’re coming with me.”
Sherbet peered out at me from under the bed. It was like he knew what I was about to do, and he had no interest in making it easy for me to catch him. Not even a tuna treat would lure him out, and I realized I’d probably have to close the bedroom door and crawl under the bed after him.
I waited for Alice in the living room, while Sherbet scratched at the bedroom door. When she wasn’t back in ten minutes, I figured she was having trouble finding a crate and decided to go out and see if I could help. There wasn’t a light on in the garage, and there was no answer when I called her name.
“Alice? Are you in there?”
From the back corner, I heard a soft moaning, and it took a second for my eyes to adjust once the lights came on. I saw her cane on the floor before I saw anything else, and then I saw her feet sticking out from behind a pile of boxes. I ran over to her and knelt on the ground.
“Oh my God. Alice, are you okay?”
There was blood pooling beneath her head, and her eyes couldn’t focus on me. The cat carrier lay beside her. I looked above her to the shelf and wondered if the carrier had fallen on top of her and hit her head. The cat carrier had soft sides, though, and I didn’t think that it could possibly have hit her hard enough to knock her to the ground.
“Maeve,” Alice whispered, her voice barely audible. “M . . . M . . . Maeve.”
“I’m going to call 911,” I said to her. “Shhh. Don’t talk. You’re going to be okay.”
“Maeve,” Alice persisted. “Please . . .”
I pulled my phone from my pocket and unlocked it. “I promise, someone will be here as soon as they can.”
I heard a crunching of leaves outside the shed, and I froze. It was getting late and it was dark outside. There wouldn’t be any reason for someone to be walking outside around the shed, especially because it was in the backyard. Someone would have to be intentionally walking into the yard.
“Maeve,” Alice whispered again, and I bent my head toward her so that I could hear her better. “Maeve, run.”
“What?” I stood up and saw a shadow in the doorway. “Who’s there?” I asked.
I didn’t want to leave Alice on the ground, but I couldn’t see who was standing there, so I moved forward and realized it was Gary. He was staring at me with a look on his face that made my blood go cold.
“Hey, Maeve,” he said, his voice calm.
I took a step backward toward Alice. “Get off my property,” I said. I tried and failed to keep my voice steady. “You’re trespassing.”
“Let’s take a ride,” Gary said, ignoring me.
“I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“I thought you might say that,” Gary replied. He moved toward me, and I saw the glint of steel in his right hand and realized he was carrying a gun. He held it up for me to see when he saw me staring at it. “You want to rethink your response?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere. Alice needs help.”
Gary lunged forward and grabbed ahold of one of my arms and pulled me out of the garage and out into the alleyway to where his car was waiting. “Get in,” he said. “Slide through to the driver’s side.”
I glanced around. There was nobody around, and I knew it wouldn’t do any good if I tried to scream. “You want me to drive?” I asked.
“I can’t drive and watch you at the same time,” he said. “Get in.”
I did as I was told, and he slid in right after me, keeping the gun trained on my head the whole time. “Where do you want me to go?” I asked.
“You tell me,” he said.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“I want you to take me to her,” Gary replied. “Take me to my wife.”
“I don’t know where she is,” I said.
“Don’t speed or do anything else that might get you pulled over,” he said. “I’m only going to warn you once. Don’t be stupid.”
I licked my lips. They felt dry, and so did my mouth. I knew if I could keep driving for just a little while, keep him talking for just a little while, surely Abel would come looking for me if I didn’t show up at his house, and he’d call someone. But I had to stay alive in the meantime.
I rolled to a stop at a traffic light two blocks from Maple Street and asked, “Which way do you want me to go?”
“Take me to her,” he barked.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay, I’ll take you to her.”
At that Gary seemed to relax, and he slumped down into the seat. I continued to drive, taking random turns and going down streets I didn’t recognize, still trying not to get too far from my house.
“We’ve been down this street before,” Gary said after a few minutes. “What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you to Yulina,” I said.
“That’s not how it l
ooks to me.” He pressed the metal so hard into my head that I let out a yelp and swerved onto the shoulder of the road.
I blinked back tears and kept driving. Gary sat beside me, mumbling to himself. It seemed like he was having some sort of a breakdown. He was becoming more and more agitated as the minutes ticked by.
“Gary,” I said softly. “Yulina isn’t going to leave you. Let’s just pull over and talk about it. I’m sure we can come to a resolution about the whole thing.”
Gary turned to look at me, and his eyes were wild. “She doesn’t want to leave me, but you have her convinced. You have her convinced just like Annabelle had her convinced.”
“I would never do that.”
“Sure you wouldn’t.” Gary chuckled. “That’s what Annabelle said too.”
“Gary,” I said. “I’m not Annabelle. I’ve just been here for a few days. How could I possibly have done this?”
“Where is she?”
In the distance I heard sirens, and I tried not to show my relief. Gary twisted himself around in the front seat to look behind us, and then he cursed under his breath. “Drive faster,” he said.
“You told me not to,” I said. “Remember? You said not to do anything stupid.”
Gary cocked the gun. “I’ll kill you right now,” he said. “I’ll kill you, and then I’ll kill myself. I swear to God, I’ll do it.”
I couldn’t see much except for what was in front of us, because it was completely dark outside. I could see that there was a roundabout coming up with a large culvert in the middle. I had to make a decision. The farther I drove, the more agitated Gary became, and the closer the sirens got to us. It wouldn’t be long before he was going to pull the trigger, and once he made that decision, there wouldn’t be anything I could do. I had to do something.
I took a deep breath and loosened my grip on the steering wheel. Finally I said, “You want me to drive faster?” I jammed my right foot down onto the gas pedal. “Fine. I’ll drive faster.”
The force of the acceleration slammed Gary back into the seat. When he regained his bearings, he reached over and tried to grab the steering wheel, but it was too late. I blew past the stop sign and hurtled through the roundabout, crashing right into the center of the culvert.
St. Francis Society for Wayward Pets Page 24
