He took my chin and turned my face toward his. “Baby, you’re the classiest woman I’ve ever met. You don’t have to come from money to have class, believe me. I know,” he emphasized. “You’d fit in anywhere,” he said firmly. “And you’re not a hypocrite. I never asked. That’s on me,” he said with regret clear in his features.
“Yeah, well, it’s not stuff I’m thrilled to share,” I muttered.
“I understand,” he nodded and I knew he did.
I needed to grab a couple of things from my place before we headed back to Sal’s. We needed to talk about our living situation at some point, but for now, I was content to stay with him. When I’d hedged the topic briefly over dinner, his exact words had been “you’re in my bed, babe.”
That was that, for now anyway.
He pulled the bike up near my place and turned off the engine, indicating he planned to come up with me.
My overprotective man.
We walked toward my building. I noticed he still didn’t hold my hand or put an arm around me, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.
When I saw the hunched figure sitting on the steps, which led to my building, I froze mid-stride in panic and shock. Sal made it two strides ahead of me before he realized I’d stopped moving and turned back to me, his head cocked to the side in question.
“What, baby?” he asked, clearly concerned at whatever look was plastered on my face. I couldn’t spare him an explanation or even a look. My eyes were riveted on the figure of my mother.
She looked much older than the last time I’d seen her, her skin sallow and her dark hair speckled with grey. She’d always looked older than her years from hard living, but I was still speechless at her transformation. She was barely recognizable. Her clothes hung off her thin frame and as her glassy eyes turned to me, I thought I might be sick.
“There you are, you little brat,” she spat with annoyance.
I braced my shoulders and stood straight, my eyes meeting her disdain head on. I would be damned if I gave her the satisfaction of knowing her words still hurt, despite them being the only ones I ever got from her.
“Yes, Mother, how lovely to see you,” I returned with mock sweetness.
Sal stiffened beside me and looked at me with clear shock. Having him meet my mother felt like a real-life nightmare. I felt completely exposed and vulnerable at having him witness the absolute shit I came from.
“Don’t give me that attitude, girl,” she warned, standing up to glare at me.
I snorted. “You hardly get to tell me how to act. How the hell do you know where I live?” I demanded.
“I have friends,” she replied.
“Yeah, the same friends who told you I had the money to pay off your loan shark?” I hissed. “Now, what the fuck do you want?”
I felt Sal at my back and, although this whole thing was beyond humiliating, it was reassuring to have his warmth and strength behind me.
“We need money,” she said bluntly. I had to fight the urge not to laugh. This was just fucking perfect.
“And you’re still thinking I have the kind of money you need to pull yourself out of this?” I asked incredulously. “I told you over the phone, whoever told you that was lying. They paid me a visit, too,” I told her, pointing to my fading bruises. “Nearly put me in the hospital, for nothing,” I seethed.
Her expression blanched for a brief moment before she quickly recovered her scowl.
“You look like you’re doing just fine to me,” she retorted, gesturing to my dress and ignoring Sal’s fierce expression. Clearly my bruises weren’t even worthy of a response.
“Yeah, well, I work hard and I have enough for what I need now that you and the old man aren’t stealing every penny I earn,” I snapped. “But that doesn’t mean I’m living some grand lifestyle, Ma.”
“Always thought you were better than us,” she sneered, showing her yellowing teeth. “Ever since you could walk you wanted out. Think you’re so fucking special,” she huffed.
“All right, enough of this fucking bullshit,” Sal barked, making me jump. He pushed me behind him slightly and turned the full extent of his ferocity on my mother. “The fact my woman came out of your seriously fucked up loins to become who she is today is a fuckin’ miracle,” he growled. “Now, let me be clear. She’s not giving you shit. And you’re not bringin’ your shit to her door ever again. You do and you deal with me,” he threatened.
“I’m not the only one who thinks she could settle my debts if she chose,” she exclaimed, her eyes wide with desperation.
“Yeah, let’s get back to that,” Sal demanded gruffly, his arms crossed and his legs spread wide as he glared down at my mother.
“The guy took a real interest in loaning me money when it came up that I was your mother,” she explained, her eyes meeting mine only briefly. I thought I caught a flicker of shame, but it could have been a case of seeing what I wanted to see. “After he learned that, he practically shoved the money at us,” she snorted. “Kept talking about the Knights’ whore, whatever that means.”
I winced at the ugly name and felt Sal’s energy tense behind me.
My mother continued on, unaware of the bomb she’d just delivered. “He seemed to think you’d have no problem helping me out if I got in a tight squeeze. So, I figure you must be doin’ all right,” she added, as though that made it okay she’d put me in this position. “Either that or your man here is,” she added, motioning to Sal.
I stood there and stared at her, unable to conjure a response.
“Who was this asshole?” Sal demanded.
She shrugged. “I don’t remember his name.”
Not surprising since she could barely remember mine.
“So are you gonna give me some money, girl? That fuckwad is still out for us and I’ve got nothing for him. I came all this way because you’re not taking my calls.”
I was completely dumbfounded. The woman had no sense of remorse and a questionable understanding of reality.
“She isn’t giving you shit. Get the fuck off her doorstep,” Sal growled in barely restrained anger. “And woman, you are done treating your daughter as collateral. You’ve done a good job of turning your own life to shit, but I can guarantee you I can make it worse.”
“Such a gentleman you’ve chosen for yourself, Katherine,” Ma scoffed.
“He’s the best,” I replied with utter sincerity.
“You were just leaving,” Sal bit out, taking my hand and pulling me toward my building.
“Can I at least get a few bucks for a pack of smokes!” she hollered as we went through the door.
“Fuck me,” Sal swore. Neither one of us turned around as the door closed behind us.
Sheer humiliation washed over me as we walked into my place. To have Sal witness the scene downstairs was nearly more than I could handle. I’d kept most of the details of my childhood to myself over the years, even from Scarlet, for a reason. I never saw a need to reveal how ugly it had all been. But now it was out in the open for him to see, and I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself.
He was pacing my small space and pulling his fingers roughly through his hair. I didn’t know what was bothering him more, the train wreck that was my mother or the connection between my attack and the loan my ma had been given.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket as I sat on the couch watching him wearily. “Wes, need you at Kat’s place, man. Yeah, thanks.”
My heart sank. I could practically feel his desperation to get away. This situation required something Sal and I had never shared, vulnerability. It was about raw emotion and dark history. And I knew Sal didn’t have a clue what to do with me. So, he was going to run and I was going to let him. This is what we did, any time things got complicated or heavy, he ran. I had to admit, I wanted him to run rather than have to dig into what I’d buried deep.
Shit, we were so fucked up.
“Gotta go, babe. Wes is on his way,” he informed me as though a monumentally upsetting event
hadn’t just occurred.
“Yep,” I murmured, my tone defeated. I was unsurprised and unable to meet his eye. I should have been angry, but I couldn’t muster up another emotion with so many already clouding my head.
“I…fuck, Kat,” he muttered, scrubbing his hand over the scruff if his jaw.
“Just go, Sal.”
I could feel his penetrating eyes on me as I turned my back on him and headed for the bathroom. I winced slightly as I heard the front door click shut.
It wasn’t long before a knock sounded at my door. Somehow. I knew she’d come, she always did when I needed her most.
“What happened?” Scarlet’s eyes swept over me as though assessing for damage as I ushered her inside. “Sal came to our house on an absolute tear demanding Cole step shit up, whatever that means,” she blurted. “I’ve never seen him so pissed off.”
“Where’s Gracie?” I asked, shutting the door and following her inside. Holding the baby would have done wonders for me.
She wrinkled her nose, clearly unhappy at having to leave her. “Cole let me come over here because Wes is downstairs on guard duty,” she explained, sitting cross-legged on my bed. “But he wouldn’t let the baby out of the house. I had to check on you. Now spill,” she directed, her green eyes looking up at me expectantly.
“We ran into my mother,” I grimaced, ignoring Scar’s gasp of surprise. “It was ugly to say the least. After ten years, she hasn’t changed much. I think Sal was pretty pissed at the way she was talking to me, but what really got him riled up was how targeted the whole loan was. It was no coincidence,” I told her. “Whoever it was, they knew my ma and her deadbeat boyfriend couldn’t pay it back. It was the perfect way to use me as collateral,” I told her quietly. “It’s all fucked up.”
“Sal will never let anything happen to you. None of the guys will,” she replied with conviction.
“Yeah, well, as you can see, Sal isn’t here,” I retorted, surprised by the venom in my voice. “He got out of here so fast you would have thought the place was on fire,” I scoffed.
She eyed me carefully for a moment before reaching over to squeeze my hand briefly. “I’m sure it was shitty to have him bail on you, but, we both know it isn’t because he doesn’t care. Hell, he’s on a freaking rampage as we speak trying to sort this out,” she explained.
“That might be true, but it’s not what matters to me. What matters to me is we’re in the same fucking place we were before he left,” I groaned as I got up and started pacing, exasperated.
She let me pace for a few minutes, her gaze watching me patiently. “Do you really believe that?” she asked finally in her no-nonsense manner.
I stopped, met her eyes, and sighed in resignation.
“No,” I was forced to admit.
“No one knows you better than I do, Kat. And I know part of you doesn’t want him to change. Because if he does, if he can be more to you, then it means you have to be more, too.”
Damn, she was right.
Rather than gloat as she sometimes did, she continued, “You’re both going to have to give the other a little leeway to fuck up. But, you both seem to want it to work. You might have taken a step back tonight,” she allowed, “but I have no doubt that man loves you. He’ll come around. Just watch,” she assured me.
“We’ll see,” I muttered.
She winked.
“So, you’re pretty much on house arrest again,” I commented with a raised brow. Cole was on high alert ever since my attack.
She snorted. “Don’t remind me. We both know Cole was protective before. Now with Gracie, he’s kind of a nightmare,” she grimaced.
“He’s just worried,” I replied quietly.
“Yeah,” she agreed as she moved to stand up. “My boobs are about to burst,” she winced. “I gotta head out and feed the babe.”
I smiled sympathetically. Her boobs had always been big; now they were in the ginormous category.
“Love you, Kat,” she said and hugged me before she walked out.
“You, too,” I replied.
It was after midnight by the time I decided I might as well take a bath. Yes, another one. Sleep wasn’t going to happen and it was the only thing I could think of.
When a knock sounded at my door, I jumped and was immediately on edge. I threw on my robe and crossed my place to the door, dripping water as I went, for the second time today. I looked in my peephole and found Sal on the other side of the door.
I opened the door and looked at him in confusion. He shrugged. “I know I’m not good with this shit,” he admitted ruefully. “I feel like I’m on a fucking boat without a paddle.” He crossed into the room and ran both hands through his hair, looking bereft.
I was floored that he’d come back. The old Sal wouldn’t have, and I realized in our war to overcome our pasts, there were smaller battles to be won.
This was one of them.
I shut the door quietly behind him. “I don’t want to fuck this up,” he admitted quietly.
In his way, he was asking me to steer our way through and I could do that. For tonight, I could do that.
“Just hold onto me,” my voice came out, a throaty whisper.
“That I can do,” he replied, his eyes soft on me as he wrapped me up in his arms. I sagged into him and breathed in his reassuring scent as my arms wrapped around his waist inside his leather cut. We stood like that, by the door for a while before he pulled away gently. “You were in the bath?”
“Yeah, I was. Wanna join me?” I asked with my brows knit.
He gave me a squeeze. “I don’t really do baths, babe, but I’ll wash your back,” he replied, giving me a lopsided grin.
I could work with that, definitely.
I ditched my robe and sunk back into the blissfully warm water as he sat on the edge, his large hands caressing my neck and shoulders.
“Why would anyone fuck with me to get to you?” I demanded quietly, my wet fingers tracing the lines of the tattoos on his right forearm.
Sal let out a heavy sigh as though searching for patience. “Birdie, clearly you missed it, but anyone who knows me worth a damn, knows you’re under my skin like no other woman ever has been. No amount of time or distance would change that and whoever this is obviously knows it.”
“Really?” I asked, and even I could hear the hope in my voice.
He moved off the edge of the tub and kneeled beside it, his eyes level with mine. “Really,” he affirmed, biting my shoulder gently and sending a shiver down my spine.
Hearing that was almost enough to erase the traumatic events of the evening. “You couldn’t have picked a better night to tell me that,” I said quietly.
“Your mother really did a number on you, didn’t she?” he asked, his eyes warm as they assessed me.
“They both did,” I admitted.
“Earlier, that look you had. I couldn’t place it. I want to say it was embarrassment, but I couldn’t imagine why you’d feel that way.”
I winced just remembering it. “Are you kidding? It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life to have you witness the trash I come from,” I grimaced. “Not even Scarlet has met my mother and I hope she never does.”
“Baby,” he interrupted, “you don’t get it,” he argued as he squeezed my arms briefly for emphasis. “The last thing you should feel is fuckin’ embarrassed. You should be over the moon proud because of what you had to work with and you got yourself to where you are. It’s unbelievable. I had no idea. The only thing running through my head was how amazed I am at what you’ve achieved.”
“Then why did you run?” I asked, bracing for his answer.
He sighed. “Because I’m shit with emotion,” he admitted. “I’ll work on it,” he added simply.
“Me, too,” I agreed quietly.
“That comment you made at the hospital, about you not being the girl for me, was this what you were getting at?” he asked quietly. “Feeling ashamed of where you came from?”
“Yes and no,” I swallowed. “At the time, I meant I hadn’t been enough to keep you, to make you share yourself with me. But, I suppose those feelings are all rooted from the same place,” I mused.
“It was never about you. Do you get that now?” he asked pointedly.
“It’ll take time,” I answered honestly. I just wasn’t there yet.
“I get that,” he agreed. “But you have to know, not only were you enough, you were so much more that I had to go sort my shit out so I could be good enough for you, not the other way around,” he said firmly, his eyes holding mine.
I sucked in a breath at the rare vulnerability in his words.
He leaned closer still. “Now, baby, are we done talkin’? I’ve been sitting here staring down at your wet, naked body, and I don’t know if I can take much more.”
I smiled, my skin heating as I watched his eyes travel my body hungrily. “Yeah, we’re done,” I agreed, my voice sounding breathy.
“Fucking brilliant,” he muttered, taking my mouth in a controlling kiss. My mouth opened for him, welcoming his forceful tongue as I moved to a kneeling position, wrapping my arms around his neck. I wanted him as close as I could get him. His hands traveled over my slick skin before settling on my ass, squeezing as he let out a low groan. “You have the most amazing ass,” he murmured against my mouth.
“You have too many clothes on,” I responded with a smile.
His hands continued to explore, cupping my breasts and letting his callused fingers tease my nipples until I was ready to scream. When his hand moved between my legs to cup briefly before his fingers began to move, I pulled him tighter, soaking his T-shirt with my wet skin.
He picked up the tempo, his light caresses becoming quick circles with just the right amount of pressure. It was only seconds before my legs were shaking and I cried out, letting it wash over me.
Sal (The Ride Series) Page 9
