by Tim Marquitz
The monkeys rose up into the air and began circling, chittering madly. I could only hope none of them had to shit. Pigeons had nothing on these guys. The monkeys were on me a second later.
Let me tell you, flying monkey bites hurt.
Not emotionally ready to be attacked by the villains from the Wizard of Oz—come on, is anybody?—I stood there like an idiot. The next thing I knew I was being battered and bitten all across my head, arms, and torso. Wings slapped me, adding insult to injury. The only solace I had in being the target of a monkey gangbang was that the hoodie I was wearing smelled even worse than they did. I was hoping they’d catch something.
Under the assault, I felt the sharp sting of magic adding weight to my injuries. I needed to act fast or, as embarrassing as it was, I’d be taken out by a second rate Beatles act. Black ooze dribbled from my wounds and I batted a couple of the monkeys away so I could draw upon my power. I envisioned a skin tight shield forming around me and felt my magic comply, gaining a sudden reprieve from injury, if not from attack.
Not happy to just protect myself, I needed to fight back. I pictured fire across the external side of the shield, and with a huff of breath, I expanded it like a balloon. My magic ignited and puffed up at the same time, catching the wannabe Yahoos off guard. Their precious little vests and monkey fur erupted with flames, and they were flung away in screeching heaps. Most of them burst into clouds of black dust before they even hit the ground, the rest shattering on impact.
“My pretties!” the witch screamed as she hopped on her broomstick.
I thought about dropping a house on her head or maybe tossing a bucket of water, but I really didn’t want to hear her bitching about how she was melting. I had a bit of headache. Given more options than Dorothy, and since it seemed I was reliving someone’s twisted movie fetish, I decided to conjure up my own remake.
“Make my day, witch.” My gun in hand, I put a bullet through her green face. Energy burst from the hole in the back of her head, and she vanished without a sound. It was seriously anti-climactic, especially after all the effort someone did to colorize her.
A pretty good idea who was rattling my cage, I reached out and pinged on a solid presence. It was alien and nearby. I spun about and spied the strange being I’d seen at my house earlier, after the werewolf attack. He strode out of the bookstore, carrying an old tome, held in a way so I couldn’t tell what it was. Given the Wizard of Oz treatment, I realized it hadn’t been a true specter I’d fought earlier, but a phantom. It had been brought to life out of a book, which was way cooler. Mind you, it would have been even better if I weren’t the target, but it was still cool. I suspected whatever was inside the book in his hand would be popping up to take a shot at me next. I could only hope he was carrying the novelization of Deep Throat.
The alien’s fiery eyes locked on me. “My master is most displeased with you.” His voice was smooth, the words perfectly formed, but they came out without any kind of inflection. There was no emotion behind them, as if he were reading cue cards.
“Who are you?” I asked, raising my gun, figuring that was as good a place to start as any.
“I am known as Mihheer, servant to Lord Gorath.” Mihheer bowed, keeping his eyes on me. “My master sends his regrets, and wishes suffering upon you before he steals the light from your eyes.”
How generous. “I’m not sure who you or your boss is, but I’ve pissed off a lot of people in my day. Could you, I don’t know, maybe refresh my memory as to what I’ve done?”
He stared at me a moment, his eyes narrowed, before flashing me his shark-toothed grin. “Gorath said you might well deny your trespass, liar that you are, so he has allowed me the freedom to deal with you as I see fit.” A wash of blue eclipsed the hand that held the book, its energy seeping into the pages.
Not wanting to see what came next, I fired. Mihheer flung the book aside and dodged, my shot shattering the window behind him. The glass companies were gonna get rich off me. He laughed as I took another shot, which he also avoided. The guy was fast. I adjusted my aim to lead him just a little more in hopes of catching him when a shadow darkened the ground around me. It was like standing under a massive storm cloud. I glanced up and whiteness filled my eyes.
The tightening of my sphincter gave me just enough spring as I dove from beneath the falling behemoth. Barely out of the way, I hit the ground the same time the white shape did. The earth rumbled and the asphalt shattered under the weight, sending jagged cracks careening down the street. I bounced a couple of times, smacking the road, and then rolled to an abrupt stop at the curb. My head spun and I blinked my eyes clear to stare at the thing that had fallen from the sky.
It was Moby Dick; the whale, not a judgment regarding the performer.
…and he was still alive.
Moby thrashed, its tail laying waste to the tattoo parlor in a single swipe. Lights exploded and sent sparks zipping into the air. The acrid scent of an electrical fire sprung up in its wake. The people who’d bravely watched me dispatch the witch and her cronies screamed and scattered. Apparently, a whale falling from the sky was too much for them where flying monkeys were just entertainment. I looked up to see Mihheer still smiling, hovering a short distance away. Another shadow fell over top of me.
I snapped off a quick shot to keep the alien on his metaphorical toes, and darted for the gray slats of sunlight that made it through the clouds. Yet again, another whale crashed into the earth with a boom louder than thunder. I ducked for cover behind a parked car as chunks of asphalt and concrete were flung about by the impact. Peeking from behind my makeshift shield, I noticed the second whale was also white; another Moby Dick.
Where was Ahab when you needed him?’
The two whales keened in distress, their voices burying the world under a piercing wave of high-pitched trills. Mihheer had disappeared, but the streets were full of stupid people. They’d rushed out of the shops only to be crushed beneath the bulk of the whales and their frantic tails. My ears ringing, I caught sight of a woman pointing upward, her eyes wide with terror. I followed her silent finger and felt my balls shrivel and pop in the sack.
Above us were dozens of whales falling from the sky, their mass covering several city blocks. My breath froze in my lungs and a cold sweat broke out across my body. A whole bunch of people were gonna die, and it was my fault. Worse still, there was nothing I could do to stop it.
The rain of whales coming down, I stashed my gun and darted forward. A growl ripped free of my throat. I snatched up the woman who still pointed in disbelief, and cut into a nearby alley. For all her thinness, she felt heavy to me, but now wasn’t the time to judge her for it. The best I could, I plotted where the whales would hit and tried to avoid being underneath when one did. The buildings obscuring the skyline, I didn’t have much hope. The woman shrieked as one of the Mobys took out the building behind us, and then fell silent, passing out in my arms. I flung her over my shoulder and turned to protect her head from the flying debris. Shards of glass, steel, and concrete peppered us as I ran. Wet drops of something followed right after. I didn’t want to think about it.
Moby was a sperm whale, after all.
Back out on the street, the block behind exploding, I looked again to judge the whale fall while trying to keep an eye out for Mihheer. My senses were on overdrive, but there was no way to tell whether I was picking up the alien or simply the resonance of the power that had brought the book to life. All around me were the screams of the injured and afraid. My heart went out to them, but if I didn’t keep moving, I’d be just one more squished bag of flesh right alongside them. There was no way in hell I was going out like that: crushed by a giant Dick.
At the edge of the fall, I veered off and dodged another whale. It took out the bar we’d just passed. I heard the shattering of glass and mourned the death of the liquor. The impact nearly took my feet out from under me. I scrambled not to drop the unconscious woman. She flopped against my shoulder and I knew she’d be black a
nd blue come tomorrow, but at least she’d have a tomorrow. A bunch of folks just out for coffee wouldn’t be able to say that.
At last, I made it clear of the whales coming and breathed a relieved sigh. Sweat dripped into my eyes, and it felt like I’d run a marathon. People gathered in the street watching the ruin of their neighborhood with wide eyes and excited voices. I couldn’t imagine Michael even trying to smooth this away. There wouldn’t be any hiding the supernatural element of this event.
Muted sirens joined the cacophony of chaotic sounds. That was my cue to leave. I handed the woman over to the crowd and made my exit, doing my best to keep my face turned away. I probably didn’t have to worry about it, given what was going on nearby, but it couldn’t hurt. My mug was probably plastered all over a dozen security cameras, and it wasn’t likely that all of them would meet their destruction by whale ass.
If the DSI hadn’t called in their markers to hunt me down before, they sure as shit were gonna do it now. I needed to get outside their jurisdiction and figure out what I was gonna do. There was only one place to go where I had any hope of being safe.
I laughed, remembering something Scarlett had told me a long time ago. She said I’d end up in Hell. Guess she was right.
Chapter Thirteen
Home sweet Hell.
It wouldn’t be the first time I’d run here to escape something I’d done, but it felt like it might be the last. With Lucifer not around to protect me and DRAC looking to inherit all my crap, I was truly on my own for the first time, in a very long time.
Whoever Mihheer was, he had a beef against me thanks to this Gorath guy, but neither name rang a bell. Not that it mattered much. I’ve spent my whole life being singled out for something I didn’t remember or simply had nothing to do with; guilt by association. This was probably an inherited gripe. As I thought earlier, Mihheer was probably the guy who’d been trapped in the case in Lucifer’s chambers; if not him, then Gorath. That seemed to make more sense.
While Mihheer was packing some power, he didn’t strike me as needing such an ornate prison to hold him. Then again, I could simply be presuming the alien script was powerful seeing how I didn’t understand it. In their world, ugly might be the dominant form of empowering wards. Right now, I was just pulling shit out my ass, and none of it smelled right.
Exhausted, I took a sip of Uncle Lou’s jazz juice and thought about putting in a call to DRAC about the whales, but I was pretty sure they knew already. It wouldn’t take them but a few seconds to realize I was involved. Probably best just to let things unfold. For all I knew, the DSI might have wiretaps on DRAC’s lines. They couldn’t tap into the telepathic network, but for me to reach that, I’d need to put in a call. It wasn’t worth endangering anyone. Besides, it looked like this was Lucifer’s bullshit, which meant it was up to me to clean it up whether I wanted to or not. At least in Hell, I might find something stashed away to give me an idea who and what I was dealing with.
Having torn apart a good chunk of Lucifer’s rooms, I decided to search the area where Asmoday had been killed. Separated from the rest of the quarters, and closest to where the case had been stored away, I thought maybe there’d be something stashed there. Not to mention, I didn’t really want to stumble across anything else about my mother and Lucifer. I just wasn’t up for it.
As I found my motivation, I felt a surge of power at the gate, the portal opening. I spun around, whipped my gun out and pointed it at the portal, lowering it just a second later as Karra’s essence hit my senses. She appeared in a huff, her beautiful face contorted with worry.
“Whales, Frank? Seriously? It’s all over the news.”
I shrugged. “What can I tell you? I’m so resilient my enemies feel the need to think outside of the box to take me out.”
She shook her head and stalked over. Her eyes were narrow and streaked with red as she ran her hand across my forehead. “You look like shit.”
“Uh, thanks. You too.”
“You’re feverish and pale.” She ran her fingers down my cheek and placed her palm on my chest. “You’re burning up.”
“Whale cooties, most likely.”
“Stop joking, Frankie. You don’t look good.”
I pulled her in close and kissed her cheek. “I’m fine, just worn down. I ran into our little alien again. Mihheer’s his name, and he apparently works for a bigger alien called Gorath. Who names these guys? Anyway, I suspect they’re out for revenge for Lucifer locking away whichever one of them was inside the case.”
Karra sighed and returned my kiss. “You need to be careful, because I think you’re right. I spoke to my father.”
I took her hand and led her down the hall toward Asmoday’s old prison. “What did he have to say?”
“I drew him a number of the symbols that were on the book and case, but he didn’t recognize them. He did think, like we did, that the script was written as a containment spell, designed to hold something, or someone, inside and keep them weak. He also thinks he has an idea as to when the thing was imprisoned.”
We slipped into Asmoday’s room and I dropped onto one of the couches to catch my breath. Karra sat beside me.
“Close to a thousand years ago, my father sensed a tear in the dimensional wall, which led into Hell. He said the power he felt was godly. He’d never felt such energy beyond Lucifer or God Himself, and he knew for certain it wasn’t them. Not even the current incarnation of Baalth compares, he says.”
Damn. This wasn’t sounding good. I leaned back into the couch to continue listening.
“The entire supernatural world felt the entry. My father, along with all of Lucifer’s lieutenants, returned to Hell to find Lucifer had killed the being who’d come through the rift. There was nothing left but a strangely shaped, charred corpse, bereft of any essence.”
“If Lucifer had killed it, wouldn’t he have gained its powers, seeing how the thing is most likely a demon?” I already knew the answer.
“Only my father questioned Lucifer’s account of what happened, unable to sense a corresponding power increase in Lucifer similar to the force he’d felt break through the dimensional wall. He was told the being was likely an alien, its power not transferable upon death.” Karra settled in against me, her hand mothering my brow. “At the time, my father believed what he’d been told. However, given what we’ve stumbled across, he feels Lucifer only imprisoned the being, and your uncle’s recent departure has allowed the alien to break free.”
“Sounds about right. With Mihheer popping up out of nowhere, it makes sense Gorath was the one trapped inside the case and his minion helped break him out. Either that or they were both inside. Doesn’t really matter one way or the other, though. Locked up for a thousand years, they’re bound to be pissed. With Lucifer nowhere to be found, they’ve only got me to beat on until they find him.”
Karra inched in, holding me close. “Shortly after the rift in the wall, that’s when Lucifer was said to have resumed contact with God.”
I glanced over at Karra, a lump forming in my throat. “So, whatever crashed our universe was powerful enough to spook Lucifer into contacting God so he could figure out what the hell he was dealing with.”
“Looks that way.” She squeezed tighter. “These two could well be part of the enemy God and Lucifer fight against. If that’s the case, the ones here may well be more powerful than any force we’ve ever encountered.”
“If that were true, wouldn’t we sense Gorath? If his arrival set off the entire supernatural world, why isn’t he pinging across the board now? Someone would have noticed him over the course of a millennium. It doesn’t make sense.” I growled and stood up. “We need to decipher the language on the case to figure out what the hell it was supposed to do. If it—“
Karra stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Don’t worry, Frankie. We’ll figure it out,” she said, strangely loud before leaning in and kissing me deep. My body, despite my mood, started to respond. Her muffled words put me back in ne
utral.
“Someone else is here,” she spoke softly into my mouth, turning me so I could glance through the cover of her wild hair. I saw a shadow at the doorway. It disappeared as soon as I spotted it.
I pulled away from Karra and chased after the shadow. “It’s running.” She was on my heels.
We zipped around the corner and I let my senses loose. There wasn’t even a flicker of supernatural energy to be found beyond the ambient essence of Hell itself. We searched for a few minutes, but found nothing. Either the person watching us was human, or they’d teleported out of Hell before we could get a bead on them. The latter was far more likely.
“Damn it!” Not even Hell was free from prying eyes. That was seriously limiting my options when it came to hiding.
As though she’d read my mind, Karra turned to me. “Hell isn’t safe, either, Frank. You need—“
I raised a hand to cut her off. “I know, Karra, I know.” Letting loose a deep sigh, I started to pace, staring off at the stone walls of my uncle’s old sanctuary. “I’m running out of options here. While I can kiss up to Baalth and probably be pretty safe, I won’t get any answers. Even if he knows something, he’s not gonna share it with me if it will cause him problems.” I turned to look at Karra. “Your dad doesn’t know much, and I certainly don’t think DRAC would, not with Abe dead.” The words rasped hollow in my mouth.
“Stay with me, Frankie.”
“I can’t.” I leaned in and kissed her to soften the rejection. “You saw the whales and all the damage, and I’m only dealing with the flunky. Even if you can kick my ass, I’m not gonna put you at risk.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her against me, willing myself to tell her what I really thought; what I felt. “You’re all I have, Alukarras. I know you can take care of yourself. Shit, you’re way more capable than I am, but it’s not you these guys are after, it’s me. As long as I can keep it that way, keep you out of danger, nothing that happens to me matters.”
