by M. R. Joseph
I release her chin and settle back in my chair. The sun is coming up, and I can hear the seagulls waking up in the distance. There’s still a calmness on the water. No boats going by, no people awake at this ungodly hour to disturb it. Just Harlow and me doing what we do best on this dock. I think I learned a lot tonight, not just in the last hour or so, but earlier at the bar, last week, three weeks ago. Last year in that bathroom even. Harlow gave me a lesson tonight, and for whatever reason, I think it’s one I’m not going to forget anytime soon.
***
CHAPTER 9
The best surprises come in all shapes, sizes, and tattoos
Harlow~
The August sun is brutal already, and we are only in the first week of it. The heat should be measured by how many sticks of deodorant I have gone through in the past week. I’m a sweater. I’ll admit it for the good of all womankind. It’s only seven a.m., and it has to be eighty degrees already. The water on the bay is so still, and the smell of fish is fermenting in the air. Not a pleasant smell, mind you.
There’s only a few weeks left of summer, and I will admit it’s been the best. Refreshing and relaxing… For the most part. I never did see Chad again, thank God. I think he knew to stay clear of me, which is unusually surprising. His relentlessness towards me when we are back in Princeton is immeasurable. Since his father and mine are golf buddies, when they all play together, he’s always approaching my father about me. When he is questioned about our breakup from my father, his response was always that we were taking a break for a while. Break, my ass. Try broken, as in what it did to me. Dr. Goldberg and I still have our weekly conversations, but the more time passes, the more I find comfort in my other form of therapy, which, in fact, is coming down the dock as we speak. Well more like sprinting.
What the hell?
“Turnip, Turnip, it’s Bella, she’s… She’s in labor.”
The look of sheer panic is displayed on Cruz’s face, so I stand up to greet him.
“Wait, what? She’s not due for another month, Cruz. What’s going on?”
He’s panting and running his fingers through his hair fiercely.
“My brother called and he said something about her bag breaking and then the water came out of it and I was like what the fuck is that, then he said she was having contradictions and shit, and oh, God, I don’t know.”
I grab his shoulders and caress them and then I run my hands down to his forearms, as I tell him to take a deep breath.
“Ok, sweetie, relax. First of all it was her water that broke. Her bag of water, not her purse or anything like that and she’s having contractions. It’s when the uterus contracts and pushes the baby down the birth canal. It happens during labor.”
When I’m telling Cruz what Bella is going through and how it’s perfectly normal, he relaxes.
“Listen to me, the baby is just a little early. That’s all and everything will be fine.”
I smile at him and stroke his cheek. He leans into my hand, and he closes his eyes.
“Are you going to go see her, be there for your brother?”
He hesitates and looks out onto the water. It appears he’s struggling with some kind of decision, and I’m not really sure so I ask. I take my hand from his cheek and use one of my fingers to bring his attention to my face.
“Hey, what’s the problem? This is a no-brainer. You need to go. You told me on more than one occasion that Bella is one of your best friends, so don’t be so hesitant about going. She needs you to be there, Cruz. They both do.”
The look in his eyes tells me he knows I’m right.
Cruz lets out a sigh, and I see his body appear to be less tense. He takes a seat on one of our chairs, clasping his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees. His head is down between his knees so I can only see the top of his brown waves.
I bend my knees and get down to his level. My hands encircling his.
“Hey pal. Look at me.” He doesn’t, so I use my teacher voice on him.
“Raphael Cruz, look at me right this instant.” He peers up at me, shocked and horrified at my tone.
“You are an Officer of the law, an ex-Marine, and my favorite man-whore in the world. If you’re afraid of what’s happening, don’t be. It’s ok to be afraid, but you are by far the strongest person I know so failure in this situation is not an option. Bella will be fine, and so will the baby.”
He looks at me with his piercing blue eyes and marvels at my words like they are scripture. He believes what I’m telling him. I like this vulnerable side of Cruz. Big, strong tattooed men don’t always need to show their rough exterior. Sometimes showing the other side is quite… Sexy.
Surprise, surprise.
“Babies come into this world early every day and medicine is so far advanced that God forbid if there is anything wrong with the baby…”
He gets a panicked look in his eyes.
“Cruz, I never said there was anything wrong with the baby, I’m just making a point that there are highly trained medical professionals who will make sure the baby will be ok.”
He grins solemnly at me.
“Do you trust me?” I ask. He nods, looking directly into my eyes.
“Well then good.” I stand up after being in the crouched position for more time than expected, but he pulls me back down towards him, and I’m taken aback.
“Come with me… Please?”
His question is a plea, almost sounding desperate, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s one for help, but one that says ‘don’t let me do this alone.’
So I won’t.
“Should I pack an overnight bag?” He smiles. That’s all that’s needed for me to get my answer.
An hour and a half later here we are at a hospital called St. Mary’s, but I’m pretty sure we are nowhere near Cherry Hill where Cruz said he was from. Actually, it’s a pretty run down area. I had dozed off for most of the ride so I didn’t pay much attention. I yawn and stretch my arms up above my head.
“Mornin’ sleepyhead.” I turn towards Cruz and smile.
“Did you just call me sleepyhead?” I laugh at him because it’s just not like him to use those terms of endearment.
He rolls his eyes at me and pulls into the parking garage of the hospital.
“Yes, I was referring to you. I have to get used to using words like that since I’ll have a niece or nephew running around.”
Who would have thought Raphael Cruz could be… Sweet.
Cruz shuts off the car, but remains with his hands tightly around the steering wheel, almost displaying white knuckles.
“You ready to go?” I ask.
“Um, yea, but there’s something I need to tell you first, Turnip.”
“Ok, shoot.” I hear the sound of his phone ringing and see it’s his brother Antonio on the caller ID. He keeps allowing it to ring, and ring again, until finally I hand it to him and tell him to answer it.
“Yea, Antonio. We just pulled in. Yes, we. My friend Harlow is here… Yes, that one.” He shakes his head and covers his eyes. I feel my cheeks warm, and I don’t know why.
“Yes, ok. How is she doing? Seven centimeters? What the hell does that mean? Ok fine, never mind. We’ll see you in a sec.” He hangs up and looks at me.
“Sorry about that.”
Knowing exactly what he’s apologizing for, I turn smart ass on him.
“Sorry for what? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Officer.” I wink at him and open my car door, dismissing the fact that he was about to tell me something. I’ll remind him later to finish.
We leave our overnight bags in the car, but I grab my canvas tote with my laptop in it. I have to register for my grad classes and what a better time to do it than sitting in a hospital waiting room. Baby’s arrivals are very unpredictable. Just because she’s seven centimeters, doesn’t mean a damn thing. It could be hours.
Cruz is very quiet, which is odd. The man never shuts up, so when we get to the floor and the elevator do
ors open, he steps out, but I tug at his arm.
“Remember what I said. Don’t be afraid. Everything is going to be perfect.”
He takes my hand in his and we walk down a hallway towards a nurse’s station.
He took my hand?
Cruz stops at a desk to ask a nurse where Bella is.
“Excuse me. I’m looking for Bella Cruz. She’s been admitted with pre-term labor.” The nurse looks at a whiteboard behind her and we see Bella’s name.
“Yes. She’s in room 222.” The nurse points in the direction for which we need to go.
Cruz thanks her and tugs me along down to Bella’s room. When we open the door, I see a man standing at the head of the bed, an almost replica of Cruz, but with much more bulk to him. In the bed is the prettiest and tiniest raven-haired, dark-complected woman with the biggest belly I have ever seen.
Cruz lets go of my hand and swiftly walks towards his brother, engulfing him in a hug. They pat each other’s backs and their foreheads pull together to rest on one another.
Cruz goes to the woman lying in the bed, who is obviously Bella. He kisses her head and strokes her hair.
“How you doing there, mama?”
“Well they gave me an epidural, so now I’m ok. I can’t believe you came, Raph.”
“I wouldn’t miss it. But why did you go into labor so early? You’re not due for another month.”
“We are fine. The doctor did an ultrasound and the baby’s lungs are fine. Strong and healthy. It may be a little smaller than we wanted, but when it’s time, there’s no stopping him or her from coming.”
Cruz smiles at Bella, and I lean against the doorway to the room.
“And this must be Harlow.” She motions for me to come forward, and I feel a bit awkward, but her smile says not to be. She extends her hand out, and I take it, a bit subdued.
“I’m Bella. It’s so nice to meet you, Harlow. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Bella!” Cruz’s voice rings out in a warning.
“Oh, never mind him.” She shoos her hand at him and winks.
“Likewise. Congratulations. How are you feeling?”
“I’m very ready, in case you couldn’t tell. Oh, and this is my husband Antonio. The more handsome of the Cruz men.”
Cruz takes a seat next to Bella’s bed.
“Ha, ha. Very funny.” I like their banter.
“Harlow, nice to meet you. And I will also say we have heard a lot about you, so forget what my little brother says.” I shake Antonio’s hand, and then take a step back from Bella’s bed, feeling a bit out of place even though they aren’t making me feel that way. A nurse walks in, checks the monitors that are attached to Bella, and then asks all of us to leave the room, so they can check to see if she is any more dilated. We step out into the waiting room, Cruz looks nervous, his head turning to look over his shoulder every once in a while. I’m assuming it’s because he’s worried about Bella. I sit across from him, checking my email and getting back to Willow via text with updates. Of course, the woman can even scold me through text about how could I have gone with him all the way here for someone I don’t even know, especially for the reason we are here. I’m trying to keep that out of my head, but leave it to Willow to give me a subtle reminder of it.
I hate hospitals. I hate the smell. I hate the yellowed, peeling wallpaper. I hate the old, worn-out chairs in this waiting room. I can count the frayed threads on this chair I’m sitting in. I hate the muffled beheaded voices calling for doctors over the intercom systems. Code blue, code red, code whatever.
I hate watching the nurses and doctors walk around in their green, thinly-clad scrubs. What’s the point of them anyway?
I hate this floor. The thought of a million shoes being walked on in the very spot my eyes are focused on now makes me shiver. The shine from the linoleum doesn’t make a difference. I know what’s there. Dried blood from the bottom of shoes, dirt, germs, pieces of life. It’s worse in Bella’s room. I guarantee that fact.
I need to breathe. I need to focus on something besides the dirt-ridden, germ-infested floor below my feet.
I raise my eyes to him. He stares in my direction, our eyes meeting for a moment, and a slight smile appears on his face. Not his normal smile. One of uneasiness. I look at him puzzled, but then my anxiousness is replaced with calmness because he now looks like how I feel. His eyes tell me he needs me. I don’t know why I feel the pull of his stare. It confuses me that look in his eyes, so I throw caution to the wind and get up to sit beside him.
The elevator dings as I make my way to the seat. Before I can even sit beside Cruz, he’s up out of his seat, his face looking strained, and somewhat uneasy. The tapping of his foot tells me his anticipation as to whom is about to get off that elevator will not diminish until the doors open. I find myself doing exactly what Cruz is doing, staring at the elevator doors like a child waiting for the jack-in-the-box to spring free. I’m not sure why we are staring at it, but as I look at Cruz, I know there must be something to it. The doors finally open, a couple rushes out and into the arms of Antonio. The woman wraps her arms around him, her handbag flopping to the floor. She is crying, but it doesn’t appear to be tears of sadness, possibly just worry, and that’s when it hits me, this is Bella’s mom.
“Oh, Antonio, how is my baby girl? What did the doctors say? How is the baby? Is she pushing yet? We tried to get here as fast as we could mijo. Traffic was horrible.”
The woman couldn’t be more than five feet, beautiful dark hair, and a lovely complexion like Bella’s. Her father, not much taller than his wife, hugs Antonio as well and apologizes for his wife’s over exaggerated rant.
“Tony, please excuse Marcella, she is so nervous, first grandchild and all.”
Antonio smiles at his father-in-law and assures him she is ok and the doctors were with her.
Bella’s mom goes to Cruz and grabs him in the same loving way she did to his brother.
“Oh, Raphael, you look so tired. I can’t believe you drove all this way to see her. How are you?” She pinches his cheek and looks at him adoringly. He gently takes her hands and holds them close to his chest.
“I’m fine, Marcella. I just got off my late shift and came here as soon as I got the call from Tony. She’s in good hands. Don’t worry.”
She laughs at him and pats his face.
“Oh sweet boy, you tell me not to worry when I can clearly see the worry lines already starting to form on your face.”
She pauses, and I hear her say to him, “Does Rae know? Did anyone tell her?” Cruz’s eyes go from Marcella’s straight to mine with a look of doom. He swallows hard and reverts back to introducing me to her.
“Marcella, I want you to meet my friend Harlow Hannum. We live next to each other at the shore for the summer. She came with me for the ride.”
Marcella turns to me with the warmest smile and eyes glistening. She approaches me and engulfs me in a similar hug she gave to Cruz and Antonio.
“Oh, mija, you are even prettier than Raphael explained to me. Beautiful girl, for you to come all this way to be with him, on this important day, you must be someone special.”
I have to bite my lip and turn my chin towards the ground for fear my cheeks will become so red with embarrassment. I’ll look like I was slapped in the face. Cruz comes over to Marcella and pulls her from me.
“Ok, ok. That’s enough, silly woman.” Clearly embarrassed himself, he takes my hand and leads me away from Bella’s mom. He introduces me to Bella’s dad, Jorge. When I meet him, he shakes my hand, then kisses the top and thanks me for being here. I’m not doing anything really. I just came for the ride. Still, their family’s warmth and acceptance of my friendship with Cruz is heartfelt.
“Raphael, you still did not answer my question. Do you know if Rae knows? Oh, God forbid if she does.” The sound of panic in her voice is a bit disheartening, so I ask the question out loud.
“Who is Rae, Cruz?” He ignores me and pulls Marcella to the other
side of the room. They are huddled in a corner, and I can’t hear. The confusion sets into me as I see Marcella look over Cruz’s shoulder to glance my way. If it’s a family thing, that’s fine, but to me it seems a little more secretive than that, and I have to remind myself that I am only here for moral support, but in no way, shape or form will I let it go, and Cruz already knows that this is the way I operate.
As they continue to talk, a doctor comes out and asks Antonio to come with him. Cruz and Marcella come out of their respective corner and join me and Jorge in the waiting room chairs.
The room is silent, and the nagging feeling that I need to ask Cruz who this Rae person is pulls at my brain.
Screw it.
I bend my ear to him and begin the question.
“Cruz, who is…” Before I can even answer, he holds his hand up to me, stopping me from going any further with my questioning.
“Not now, Harlow, ok?”
“Ok,” I answer him quietly.
Marcella and Jorge hold hands while the room still remains silent. Cruz gets up every once in a while, clearly nervous and clearly uncomfortable. A little while later Antonio comes from behind a double door, dressed in those God awful green scrubs. Everyone stands up when he enters.
“What’s going on mijo. How is my baby girl?”
He looks worried.
“The baby is stuck so they have to give her a C-section, but don’t worry Marcella, she and the baby will be ok. I can’t say I’m not worried, but I trust her doctor.”
Marcella starts to cry and Jorge goes to wrap his arms around her shoulders.
“She will be fine, sweetheart. This happens all the time, I’m sure.”
“All the time! Things like this happen all the time? How can this be an ok thing, Jorge? What if she, what if the baby…” Cruz yells and runs his hands fiercely through his hair. This makes Marcella cry harder, and Jorge gives Cruz a stern look. I step into his proximity, trying to calm him by taking his strong face in my hands, making him look directly in my eyes.
