The card sent to Dr and Mrs Stanhope and family had been so sent in an envelope, having on the cover Mr Slope’s name. The signora soon learnt that Mrs Proudie was not yet at the palace, and that the chaplain was managing everything. It was much more in her line to apply to him than to the lady, and she accordingly wrote him the prettiest little billet in the world. In five lines she explained everything, declared how impossible it was for her not to be desirous to make the acquaintance of such persons as the Bishop of Barchester and his wife, and she might add also of Mr Slope, depicted her own grievous state, and concluded by being assured that Mrs Proudie would forgive her extreme hardihood in petitioning to be allowed to be carried to a sofa. She then enclosed one of her beautiful cards. In return she received as polite an answer from Mr Slope – a sofa should be kept in the large drawing-room, immediately at the top of the grand stairs, especially for her use.
And now the day of the party had arrived. The bishop and his wife came down from town, only on the morning of the eventful day, as behoved such great people to do; but Mr Slope had toiled day and night to see that everything should be in right order. There had been much to do. No company had been seen in the palace since heaven knows when. New furniture had been required, new pots and pans, new cups and saucers, new dishes and plates. Mrs Proudie had at first declared that she would condescend to nothing so vulgar as eating and drinking; but Mr Slope had talked, or rather written her out of economy. Bishops should be given to hospitality, and hospitality meant eating and drinking. So the supper was conceded; the guests, however, were to stand as they consumed it.
There were four rooms opening into each other on the first floor of the house, which were denominated the drawing-rooms, the reception-room, and Mrs Proudie’s boudoir. In olden days one of these had been Bishop Grantly’s bedroom, and another his common sitting-room and study. The present bishop, however, had been moved down into a back parlour, and had been given to understand that he could very well receive his clergy in the dining-room, should they arrive in too large a flock to be admitted into his small sanctum. He had been unwilling to yield, but after a short debate had yielded.
Mrs Proudie’s heart beat high as she inspected her suite of rooms. They were really very magnificent, or at least would be so by candlelight; and they had nevertheless been got up with commendable economy. Large rooms when full of people and full of light look well, because they are large, and are full, and are light. Small rooms are those which require costly fittings and rich furniture. Mrs Proudie knew this, and made the most of it; she had therefore a huge gas lamp with a dozen burners hanging from each of the ceilings.
People were to arrive at ten, supper was to last from twelve till one, and at half-past one everybody was to be gone. Carriages were to come in at the gate in the town and depart at the gate outside. They were desired to take up at a quarter before one. It was managed excellently, and Mr Slope was invaluable.
At half-past nine the bishop and his wife and their three daughters entered the great reception-room, and very grand and very solemn they were. Mr Slope was downstairs giving the last orders about the wine. He well understood that curates and country vicars with their belongings did not require so generous an article as the dignitaries of the close. There is a useful gradation in such things, and Marsala1 at 20s a dozen did very well for the exterior supplementary tables in the corner.
‘Bishop,’ said the lady, as his lordship sat himself down, ‘don’t sit on that sofa, if you please; it is to be kept separate for a lady.’
The bishop jumped up and seated himself on a cane-bottomed chair. ‘A lady?’ he inquired meekly; ‘do you mean one particular lady, my dear?’
‘Yes, Bishop, one particular lady,’ said his wife, disdaining to explain.
‘She has got no legs, papa,’ said the youngest daughter, tittering.
‘No legs!’ said the bishop, opening his eyes.
‘Nonsense, Netta, what stuff you talk,’ said Olivia. ‘She has got legs, but she can’t use them. She has always to be kept lying down, and three or four men carry her about everywhere.’
‘Laws, how odd!’ said Augusta. ‘Always carried about by four men! I’m sure I shouldn’t like it. Am I right behind, mamma? I feel as if I was open’; and she turned her back to her anxious parent.
‘Open! to be sure you are,’ said she, ‘and a yard of petticoat strings hanging out. I don’t know why I pay such high wages to Mrs Richards, if she can’t take the trouble to see whether or no you are fit to be looked at,’ and Mrs Proudie poked the strings here, and twitched the dress there, and gave her daughter a shove and a shake, and then pronounced it all right
‘But,’ rejoined the bishop, who was dying with curiosity about the mysterious lady and her legs, ‘who is it that is to have the sofa? What’s her name, Netta?’
A thundering rap at the front door interrupted the conversation. Mrs Proudie stood up and shook herself gently, and touched her cap on each side as she looked in the mirror. Each of the girls stood on tiptoe, and rearranged the bows on their bosoms; and Mr Slope rushed upstairs three steps at a time.
‘But who is it, Netta?’ whispered the bishop to his youngest daughter.
‘La Signora Madeline Vesey Neroni,’ whispered back the daughter; ‘and mind you don’t let anyone sit upon the sofa.’
‘La Signora Madeline Vicinironi!’ muttered, to himself, the bewildered prelate. Had he been told that the Begum of Oude2 was to be there, or Queen Pomara of the Western Isles,3 he could not have been more astonished. La Signora Madeline Vicinironi, who, having no legs to stand on, had bespoken a sofa in his drawing-room! – who could she be? He however could now make no further inquiry, as Dr and Mrs Stanhope were announced. They had been sent on out of the way a little before the time, in order that the signora might have plenty of time to get herself conveniently packed into the carriage.
The bishop was all smiles for the prebendary’s wife, and the bishop’s wife was all smiles for the prebendary. Mr Slope was presented, and was delighted to make the acquaintance of one of whom he had heard so much. The doctor bowed very low, and then looked as though he could not return the compliment as regarded Mr Slope, of whom, indeed, he had heard nothing. The doctor, in spite of his long absence, knew an English gentleman when he saw him.
And then the guests came in shoals: Mr and Mrs Quiverful and their three grown daughters. Mr and Mrs Chadwick and their three daughters. The burly chancellor and his wife and clerical son from Oxford. The meagre little doctor without incumbrance. Mr Harding with Eleanor and Miss Bold. The dean leaning on a gaunt spinster, his only child now living with him, a lady very learned in stones, ferns, plants, and vermin, and who had written a book about petals. A wonderful woman in her way was Miss Trefoil. Mr Finnie, the attorney, with his wife, was to be seen, much to the dismay of many who had never met him in a drawing-room before. The five Barchester doctors were all there, and old Scalpen, the retired apothecary and tooth-drawer, who was first taught to consider himself as belonging to the higher orders by the receipt of the bishop’s card. Then came the archdeacon and his wife, with their elder daughter Griselda, a slim, pale, retiring girl of seventeen, who kept close to her mother, and looked out on the world with quiet watchful eyes, one who gave promise of much beauty when time should have ripened it.
And so the rooms became full, and knots were formed, and every newcomer paid his respects to my lord and passed on, not presuming to occupy too much of the great man’s attention. The archdeacon shook hands very heartily with Dr Stanhope, and Mrs Grantly seated herself by the doctor’s wife. And Mrs Proudie moved about with well-regulated grace, measuring out the quantity of her favours to the quality of her guests, just as Mr Slope bad been doing with the wine. But the sofa was still empty, and five-and-twenty ladies and five gentlemen had been courteously warned off it by the mindful chaplain.
‘Why doesn’t she come?’ said the bishop to himself. His mind was so preoccupied with the signora, that he hardly remembered how to behave
himself en bishop.
At last a carriage dashed up to the hall steps with a very different manner of approach from that of any other vehicle that had been there that evening. A perfect commotion took place. The doctor, who heard it as he was standing in the drawing-room, knew that his daughter was coming, and retired into the furthest corner, where he might not see her entrance. Mrs Proudie perked herself up, feeling that some important piece of business was in hand. The bishop was instinctively aware that La Signora Vicinironi was come at last, and Mr Slope hurried into the hall to give his assistance.
He was, however, nearly knocked down and trampled on by the cortÈge that he encountered on the hall steps. He got himself picked up, as well as he could, and followed the cortÈge upstairs. The signora was carried head foremost, her head being the care of her brother and an Italian man-servant who was accustomed to the work; her feet were in the care of the lady’s maid and the lady’s Italian page; and Charlotte Stanhope followed to see that all was done with due grace and decorum. In this manner they climbed easily into the drawing-room, and a broad way through the crowd having been opened, the signora rested safely on her couch. She had sent a servant beforehand to learn whether it was a right – or a left-hand sofa, for it required that she should dress accordingly, particularly as regarded her bracelets.
And very becoming her dress was. It was white velvet, without any other garniture than rich white lace worked with pearls across her bosom, and the same round the armlets of her dress. Across her brow she wore a band of red velvet, on the centre of which shone a magnificent Cupid in mosaic, the tints of whose wings were of the most lovely azure, and the colour of his chubby cheeks the clearest pink. On the one arm which her position required her to expose she wore three magnificent bracelets, each of different stones. Beneath her on the sofa, and over the cushion and head of it, was spread a crimson silk mantle or shawl, which went under her whole body and concealed her feet. Dressed as she was and looking as she did, so beautiful and yet so motionless, with the pure brilliancy of her white dress brought out and strengthened by the colour beneath it, with that lovely head, and those large, bold, bright, staring eyes, it was impossible that either man or woman should do other than look at her.
Neither man nor woman for some minutes did do other.
Her bearers too were worthy of note. The three servants were Italian, and though perhaps not peculiar in their own country, were very much so in the palace at Barchester. The man especially attracted notice, and created a doubt in the mind of some whether he were a friend or a domestic. The same doubt was felt as to Ethelbert. The man was attired in a loose-fitting, common black-cloth morning-coat. He had a jaunty, fat, well-pleased, clean face, on which no atom of beard appeared, and he wore round his neck a loose, black silk neck-handkerchief. The bishop essayed to make him a bow, but the man, who was well trained, took no notice of him, and walked out of the room quite at his ease, followed by the woman and the boy.
Ethelbert Stanhope was dressed in light blue from head to foot. He had on the loosest possible blue coat, cut square like a shooting-coat, and very short. It was lined with silk of azure blue. He had on a blue satin waistcoat, a blue neck-handkerchief which was fastened beneath his throat with a coral ring, and very loose blue trousers which almost concealed his feet. His soft glossy beard was softer and more glossy than ever.
The bishop who had made one mistake, thought that he also was a servant, and therefore tried to make way for him to pass. But Ethelbert soon corrected the error.
CHAPTER 11
Mrs Proudie’s Reception – Concluded
‘BISHOP OF Barchester, I presume?’ said Bertie Stanhope, putting out his hand frankly; ‘I am delighted to make your acquaintance. We are in rather close quarters here, a’nt we?’
In truth they were. They had been crowded up behind the head of the sofa: the bishop in waiting to receive his guest, and the other in carrying her; and they now had hardly room to move themselves.
The bishop gave his hand quickly, made his little studied bow, and was delighted to make – He couldn’t go on, for he did not know whether his friend was a signor, or a count, or a prince.
‘My sister really puts you all to great trouble,’ said Bertie.
‘Not at all!’ The bishop was delighted to have the opportunity of welcoming the Signora Vicinironi – so at least he said – and attempted to force his way round to the front of the sofa. He had, at any rate, learnt that his strange guests were brother and sister. The man, he presumed, must be Signor Vicinironi – or count, or prince, as it might be. It was wonderful what good English he spoke. There was just a twang of foreign accent, and no more.
‘Do you like Barchester, on the whole?’ asked Bertie.
The bishop, looking dignified, said that he did like Barchester.
‘You’ve not been here very long, I believe,’ said Bertie.
‘No – not long,’ said the bishop, and tried again to make his way between the back of the sofa and a heavy rector, who was staring over it at the grimaces of the signora.
‘You weren’t a bishop before, were you?’
Dr Proudie explained that this was the first diocese he had held.
‘Ah – I thought so,’ said Bertie; ‘but you are changed about sometimes, a’nt you?’
‘Translations are occasionally made,’ said Dr Proudie; ‘but not so frequently as in former days.’
‘They’ve cut them all down to pretty nearly the same figure,1 haven’t they?’ said Bertie.
To this the bishop could not bring himself to make any answer, but again attempted to move the rector.
‘But the work, I suppose, is different?’ continued Bertie. ‘Is there much to do here, at Barchester?’ This was said exactly in the tone that a young Admiralty clerk might use in asking the same question of a brother acolyte at the Treasury.
‘The work of a bishop of the Church of England,’ said Dr Proudie, with considerable dignity, ‘is not easy. The responsibility which he has to bear is very great indeed.’
‘Is it?’ said Bertie, opening wide his wonderful blue eyes. ‘Well; I never was afraid of responsibility. I once had thoughts of being a bishop, myself.’
‘Had thoughts of being a bishop!’ said Dr Proudie, much amazed.
‘That is, a parson – a parson first, you know, and a bishop afterwards. If I had once begun, I’d have stuck to it. But, on the whole, I like the Church of Rome the best.’
The bishop could not discuss the point, so he remained silent
‘Now, there’s my father,’ continued Bertie; ‘he hasn’t stuck to it I fancy he didn’t like saying the same thing over so often. By the by, Bishop, have you seen my father?’
The bishop was more amazed than ever. Had he seen his father? ‘No,’ he replied; ‘he had not yet had the pleasure: he hoped he might’; and, as he said so, he resolved to bear heavy on that fat immovable rector, if ever he had the power of doing so.
‘He’s in the room somewhere.’ said Bertie, ‘and he’ll turn up soon. By the by, do you know much about the Jews?’
At last the bishop saw a way out ‘I beg your pardon,’ said he; ‘but I’m forced to go round the room.’
‘Well – I believe I’ll follow in your wake,’ said Bertie. Terribly hot – isn’t it?’ This he addressed to the fat rector with whom he had brought himself into the closest contact. ‘They’ve got this sofa into the worst possible part of the room; suppose we move it. Take care, Madeline.’
The sofa had certainly been so placed that those who were behind it found great difficulty in getting out – there was but a narrow gangway, which one person could stop. This was a bad arrangement, and one which Bertie thought it might be well to improve.
‘Take care, Madeline,’ said he; and turning to the fat rector, added, ‘Just help me with a slight push.’
The rector’s weight was resting on the sofa, and unwittingly leant all its impetus to accelerate and increase the motion which Bertie intentionally originated. The sofa rus
hed from its moorings, and ran halfway into the middle of the room. Mrs Proudie was standing with Mr Slope in front of the signora, and had been trying to be condescending and sociable; but she was not in the very best of tempers; for she found that whenever she spoke to the lady, the lady replied by speaking to Mr Slope. Mr Slope was a favourite, no doubt; but Mrs Proudie had no idea of being less thought of than the chaplain. She was beginning to be stately, stiff, and offended, when unfortunately the castor of the sofa caught itself in her lace train, and carried away there is no saying how much of her garniture. Gathers were heard to go, stitches to crack, plaits to fly open, flounces were seen to fall, and breadths to expose themselves – a long ruin of rent lace disfigured the carpet, and still clung to the vile wheel on which the sofa moved.
So, when a granite battery is raised, excellent to the eyes of warfaring men, is its strength and symmetry admired. It is the work of years. Its neat embrasures, its finished parapets, its case-mated stories, show all the skill of modern science. But, anon, a small spark is applied to the treacherous fusee – a cloud of dust arises to the heavens – and then nothing is to be seen but dirt and dust and ugly fragments.
We know what was the wrath of Juno when her beauty was despised.2 We know to what storms of passion even celestial minds can yield. As Juno may have looked at Paris on Mount Ida, so did Mrs Proudie look on Ethelbert Stanhope when he pushed the leg of the sofa into her lace train.
‘Oh, you idiot, Bertie!’ said the signora, seeing what had been done, and what were to be the consequences.
‘Idiot!’ re-echoed Mrs Proudie, as though the word were not half strong enough to express the required meaning; ‘I’ll let him know –’; and then looking round to learn, at a glance, the worst, she saw that at present it behoved her to collect the scattered d!bris of her dress.
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