She found that thought vastly comforting. That Nate, as successful as he was, had once not been so completely sure of himself.
She took a sip of her champagne. Watched another round of fireworks light up the sky. “I used to lie in bed at school at night after my father died, so scared of the future, of what would happen to me. I’d wonder why God had taken him and not my mother. I used to secretly wish that he had, then be terrified he’d punish me for thinking such awful thoughts.”
“I would say that’s understandable thinking coming from an eight-year-old.”
“Perhaps.” She lifted a shoulder. “To me they seemed wicked and irredeemable thoughts. So I made up a pretend family instead to keep me company. I had five brothers and sisters so I’d never be lonely, a dog named Gigi, who slept on the end of my bed, and parents who came to get me for every holiday.”
He frowned. “Your mother left you alone for some of them?”
“Often. After I met my friend Celia, I would spend the holidays with her family.”
He was silent for a long moment. “You’ll have a family of your own someday,” he said finally.
Would she? Did she crave the fantasy more than the reality? She had so much she wanted to accomplish before then, most of all finding out who she really was. What she wanted.
“Who was your mentor?” she asked Nate. “The one you spoke of?”
“My grandfather, Giovanni. He put me through university, took me in to work at Di Sione Shipping with him.”
“Is this the same grandfather who wants the ring?”
“Yes.”
“You said before your father wasn’t a part of your life. How did you come to know your grandfather?”
“My father died in a car accident when I was ten. My relationship with Giovanni began in my late teens when he developed leukemia and needed a bone marrow transplant. None of my half siblings were a match, so my eldest brother, Alex, sought me out to see if I was. I was a match and I did the transplant. Our relationship developed from there.”
Wow. “That must have been an incredibly emotional introduction to each other.”
“It was...intense.”
“You said you weren’t close to your brothers and sisters?”
He took a sip of his champagne. Rested his glass on the railing, a distant look in his eyes. “There is too much history between us to make that possible.”
“How so?”
“A lot of complicated relationships with many layers. Sometimes it’s simply easier to leave the past in the past. To not reopen old wounds.”
She recalled the lack of a personal background in his media profiles. It had not been an accident. He was protecting a past he had distanced himself from.
What had driven his father to abandon him? What had happened to keep him and his siblings from becoming close after his father’s death when one would think it would have been the ultimate bonding experience to give his grandfather his life back?
It was an incredibly enticing train of thought to want to pursue, but she left it at that because the walls around him as he stared out into the night said that particular conversation was over.
“Giovanni is very lucky to have had you.”
The lazy, seductive bars of a Duke Ellington tune filled the silence that followed. “I think it’s the other way around,” he said finally. “But I won’t have him for much longer. His leukemia is back and this time it will kill him.”
Her stomach dropped. That was why his grandfather wanted the ring. To reclaim a piece of his past before it was all lost to him.
“Nate—” She put a hand on his arm. “Mi dispiace. I’m so sorry.”
His expression hardened. “It’s fine. I’m lucky to have had him as long as I have.”
Except it wasn’t fine. She could see just how unfine it was in the glitter of emotion that darkened his eyes. In the clench of his jaw. The way his gaze refused to meet hers. He was suffering but you would never have known it. Taking a precious memory back to his mentor, who had perhaps been the father figure he’d never known, only to watch him die.
“It’s okay,” she said quietly, “for it not to be fine.”
He spared her a glance. “What else can it be? He’s dying and there’s nothing I nor anyone can do to prevent it.”
“Talking about it might help.”
“I’ve come to terms with it.” Storm clouds gathered in his eyes. “Leave it alone, Mina.”
She did. The pieces of her enigmatic husband starting to fall into place, she finished her champagne in silence. So much loss, so much pain, and no way to express it because he considered himself the ultimate gladiator. He would never show weakness.
A Frank Sinatra tune she loved drifted out to them on the night air. Nate put his glass down and held out his hand. “So we can say we danced at least one song after all the trouble Mingmei went through.”
She thought maybe that was a bad idea. The champagne was starting to hit her bloodstream, infusing her with that languorous, dangerous desire to play with fire. Not a good idea when keeping things on a business level between her and Nate seemed so very important.
He pulled her close. Close enough that she felt his hard thighs brushing against hers, the intoxicating, spicy smell of him filling her senses. His big hand was laced through hers, while the other rested lightly on her waist as he guided her expertly through the steps.
He hadn’t been lying about being a good dancer. He was rather dreamy, in fact. She’d danced with a great deal of men at all the social events she’d endured, but somehow dancing under the stars with Nate with only Sinatra to accompany them was an experience of an entirely different realm.
He was so strong, so heart-poundingly virile, it was impossible not to think how easily he could command her if he wanted to. To do all sorts of unthinkable things. Her thoughts should have put her guard up. Instead, she was afraid of what he might never do to her. What might never happen between them.
“She’s in love with you, you know.”
“Who?”
“Mingmei. She didn’t say it, but I can see it.”
An impassive expression claimed his face. “We ended things on good terms. Mingmei knew the deal with me.”
The question that had been burning a hole in her head all week tumbled from her lips. “Why? Why break things off with her? Mingmei is stunning, intelligent, extroverted, entertaining... How could she possibly be lacking in any department?”
“It isn’t about how amazing a woman is or isn’t. I’m not interested in a permanent relationship with anyone.”
“Don’t you ever get lonely?”
His lips curved in a cynical twist. “I don’t mean sex,” she qualified, blushing. “I mean for true companionship.”
“And how would you define true companionship sweet, innocent Mina?” He swung her into a tight circle, his gaze holding hers. “Having sleepovers with the women I date so I can spill my deepest, darkest secrets to them? Telling her how I feel over breakfast so I can start the day a whole man?”
Her chin lifted. “I mean someone who’s there at the end of the day to confide in, whether you’ve had the best day or the worst. Someone who cares what your day is like. Who nurtures the emotional side of you.”
“I don’t have an emotional side.”
Not one he would admit. Pretending he didn’t care was his self-defense mechanism as much as hers had been withdrawing into herself for so many years. Because she had seen him care. Everything he had done for her had been about caring for her welfare. It was more than just paying it forward.
“Everyone needs human connection, Nate. I told myself I didn’t need it. I spent my whole life without it, but nothing can replace what the unconditional love of someone gives us. We need emotional connection to survive.”
“Some of us do. And some of us exist better as solitary beings.” His mouth curled. “Get married and have your white picket family, Mina. All the power to you. But that’s not me.”
“Who says I want to settle down now? I want my freedom now that I have it. The rest can come later.”
“You think you want your freedom. Soon you’ll want more. All women have the nesting gene.”
His condescending attitude irked her. “I guess that’s right if you say so.”
His gaze sharpened. “Picking a fight, Mina? That’s a new one.”
“Maybe I’m tired of being told what I want. There’s a whole world out there for me to experience, Nate. Not just business. I plan on doing so.”
His steps slowed as another, lazier, Sinatra tune followed the last. “I’m all for seizing the moment,” he murmured idly. But the gaze he had trained on her was anything but. “So what will you do when our year is up, then? Take a series of lovers to satisfy your need for human connection? Keep your affairs short and sweet so no one gets too attached?”
“You’re playing with me now.”
“I’m curious. You forget I know you’re an innocent, Mina. How does that factor into all this? Do you plan to simply give your virginity away to the first man who does it for you?”
Her lashes lowered. If that were the case, she’d be giving it to him.
“My virginity is a matter of circumstance. A bargaining tool my mother used to sell me. I refuse to treat it as such. When I decide to give it to a man it will be because I made a conscious decision to do so without overcomplicating things.”
“I see.” He nodded thoughtfully. “That’s quite a thing to lay at a man’s doorstep. What happens if he falls for you? You simply kick him out the door and say you’re not ready?”
She frowned. “Who says it would be me kicking him out?”
“Because you are devastatingly, undeniably desirable, Mina. With just the right air of vulnerability to have men falling over themselves to claim you if you offer them your innocence. They won’t stand a chance.”
Her gaze locked with his for a long, heated moment. It seemed ridiculous to be speaking of other lovers when the only man’s hands she wanted on her were Nate’s. When that’s all she’d wanted ever since he’d unleashed that devastating kiss on her.
“Not happening, Mina.” His husky drawl slid over her sensitized flesh like a slow, potent caress. “We have a very functional partnership going on here.”
She knew it. He knew it. But she couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from his. “I know,” she agreed. “I know it’s insanity, but I—I can’t seem to stop thinking about what happened between us. About how alive...how lost I felt.”
“Try harder,” he bit out. “This, we, cannot happen. I don’t mix business with pleasure.”
“You’re the one who said we hardly have a straightforward business relationship. I believe you called it...unique.”
“Unique enough,” he growled. The storm in his eyes intensified. “You are vulnerable, Mina. You are looking at me like I’m some knight who’s come to your rescue when I am anything but. You have no idea what you are throwing out there right now.”
She swallowed hard. “I am vulnerable right now but I want to feel vulnerable. I want to want what I want. I want to figure out who I am. And I am under no illusions as to what this would be between us. I’ve just said I’m not looking for a commitment. Not now. Not for a long while.”
He was silent, so heart-stoppingly silent she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. “Just to be clear,” he rasped finally, “you’re telling me you want us to go to bed together. And to hell with the consequences?”
She bit the inside of her mouth. Hard. “You keep baiting me, Nate. You won’t leave it alone, either. What do you want?”
* * *
She had a point, Nate thought blackly. What did he want? Because he couldn’t seem to leave this thing with Mina alone. Not when she felt this good in his arms. When the floral, delicate smell of her, the soft curves that tempted him beyond reason, were his for the taking.
He had gone on the offensive to try and distract her when she’d started prying into the pieces of his life he would never expose. In doing so, he’d started something he couldn’t finish. Definitely couldn’t finish. Proving that seemed to be the way to go.
He let go of her hand. Reached up to trace a line down the silky-soft skin of her cheek to her mouth, his thumb dragging across the plump skin of her lower lip. “What you should be afraid of,” he drawled, “is me taking you up on your offer, Mina, because even I have my limits and I’m fast approaching them, common sense be damned.”
Her eyes widened. But she drifted closer, not further away as he explored her lips with the rough pad of his fingertip.
“Mina,” he growled. “You should walk away. I’m not your human connection project. I promise you that.”
She stayed where she was, her gaze fixed on his. He sank his thumb into the warmth of her mouth. Watched the heat in her beautiful dark eyes catch fire. And lost his mind just that much more.
His hands dropped to her hips, tugging her forward until her delectable curves were pressed against him. Mina’s long, silky lashes arced over her cheeks as he angled his head and brought his mouth down on hers.
Urgently, deliberately, he drank her sweetness in, tasted her endlessly until there was not one millimeter of her lips he hadn’t explored. When her hand curled around the back of his neck and urged him closer, he teased her mouth further apart and invaded with his tongue. She had learned from the last time they’d kissed, found her rhythm quickly now, her tongue sliding delicately against his. His body hardened in an instant visceral response that should have stopped him. Instead, it spurred him on.
The bare skin exposed by the back of her dress was an irresistible temptation. He swept his palm from her shoulder blades to the base of her spine, urging her closer. Her shocked gasp as she came into contact with his aroused, pulsing body heated his blood.
“There’s still time to run,” he murmured, dragging his mouth across her cheek and up to her earlobe.
She did the opposite, arching into him, fitting herself to him so perfectly it tore a groan from his throat. Holding her with the fingers he had pressed against the small of her back, he held himself completely still. “You make me crazy,” he muttered, wrapping his lips around the tender flesh of her lobe and nipping at it. “Move, Mina. Now.”
She tipped her head back and gave him more room to explore. He took her lobe deeper into the heat of his mouth and scraped his teeth across it.
“Nate...” she breathed in that way of hers that made it sound more like Neet.
Crazy sexy.
He worked his way down the column of her throat to the place where her pulse raged at the base of her neck. Pressed hot, openmouthed kisses against the delicate flesh he found there. Mina shuddered. Wrapped her fingers in his hair.
He brought his mouth back up to hers and took her lips in a hard, hot kiss. Unable to resist, he cupped one of her perfect, uptilted breasts in his palm. She stiffened as he ran his thumb over its delicate, half-erect peak. Over and over again until she moaned and melted into him.
“You like that?” he murmured against her lips, transferring his attention to her other rounded globe.
“Sì,” she whispered. “I feel like I’m on fire, Nate.”
His head exploded. Dissolved into urgent flames that obliterated any last vestiges of common sense. Rasping his thumb across her nipple, he teased it into a hard, urgent pebble that matched its twin.
Mina moved insistently, urgently, against him now. He cupped her derriere, that part of her he’d been wild for from the beginning, and adjusted the fit so she had him between the V of her thighs. Taut and perfectly shaped, she fit the palms of his hands so well he knew that would be
how he’d take her. If he took her, which of course he wouldn’t.
Their first course was coming any minute. Time was running out.
Mina moved against the solid column of his flesh, rubbed against him like a cat scratching an itch. “Sì, just like that. Nate—per favore—”
Mother of God. She was so far gone.
He backed her up against the wall. Sliding his hands up the backs of her legs, he brought her dress up with them. Relief was all he was giving her. Then he was ending this insanity.
Her gasp as he cupped the warmth between her thighs was so intoxicating he almost lost it right there. Tightening his fingers, he moved them against her in a slow rock that had her hips thrusting against his hand. Dear Lord, but she was responsive.
Moving his hand back up the flat plane of her stomach, he sank his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and found her hot, velvet warmth. She felt like heaven. So aroused, wet for him. It made the blood in his head pound against his temples.
“Spread your legs, baby,” he whispered in her ear. “I need room.”
She moved her thighs apart for him, her legs trembling so much he had to hold her up with one hand while he brought the thumb of his other to the tight bundle of nerves at the heart of her. Slowly, languorously, he rotated his thumb against her. Italian words tumbled out of Mina’s mouth, husky, unbearably sexy. Her hands gripped the concrete behind her, her eyes closed.
He bent and took her mouth with his own, swallowing every cry, every moan, as he stroked her wet heat. She writhed as he moved his thumb against her clitoris in an erratic movement that prolonged her pleasure, kept her orgasm just out of reach. Mina arched her back and sunk her teeth into that delectable bottom lip. Her breathing grew fractured, desperate. “Per favore. More.”
He gave it to her, sinking two of his long fingers inside her tight, wet heat. Slowly at first, he entered her, giving her a chance to get used to him. Then he picked the rhythm up, plunging deep inside of her.
A Deal for the Di Sione Ring Page 11
