“She’s not coming back, Lily,” he said to the sweet woman at his side. Richard took a large swallow of whisky while he watched his sister play with the young children at his parents’ wedding anniversary.
“You love her?”
“Why can’t you just let it go?” He glanced around in case Wayne had come back with the little guy. The man was super protective of his wife.
“He’s gone to change George,” Lily said.
“Sorry for yelling.”
“Good. You can make it up to me by explaining what happened with Scarlet. You were so happy. I can’t accept it’s over. You spent most of your time staring at her with love in your eyes.”
He snorted. “That was lust.”
“Don’t be fucking crude. What did you do?” she asked.
Richard stared at his best friend’s wife. He saw the concern and the worry, and he couldn’t keep it in anymore.
He told her the whole story. The contract and Harry. What had happened in the aftermath. How Scarlet despised everything about him. “I don’t get it. I was prepared to give her the world.”
Lily sat silently at his side staring out at the sea of people dancing and laughing. “Let me get this straight. You cornered Scarlet into signing a contract to screw her body for a week, and in return you’d pay her money which would supply all medical professionals and care for Harry?”
“Yes.” He hoped for some form of explanation into the female mind.
“And that’s different from what Wayne did to me because?”
He glared at her and thought about what she said. “Wayne was trapping you into marriage.”
“As opposed to being trapped in a loveless physical relationship that wouldn’t last any longer than a week?”
“You make it sound bad,” he said.
“No. The fact that it is bad is the reason it sounds bad. I can’t believe, when you were so against what Wayne did to me, you did worse than that with Scarlet. At least he offered me marriage. You didn’t offer her anything.” Lily sipped her water.
“I offered her money.”
“Yes, and from where I stood she loved spending the damn stuff,” Lily said sarcastically.
“What else could I have offered her?” he asked. “If you’re so bloody wise, tell me.”
“With everything she went through with that scumbag and the way she looked at you, I’d say she would have been happier with your love. If you ask me, Scarlet doesn’t know what it means to be loved. I saw the way she stared at me and Wayne at that casino.” She paused as Opal came over.
“Hi, big brother.” Opal embraced him before kissing Lily on the cheek. “Where’s Scarlet?”
“She stayed at home with Harry.” When his sister was about to ask more questions his mother called her over.
“You’ll regret letting her go, Richard.”
He didn’t need Lily to tell him how he’d feel. Being alone at night killed him. He couldn’t even face going to his penthouse anymore because of the memories of her. Hours were spent gazing down at the engagement ring he’d bought her.
Richard drank his whisky and watched his parents. They didn’t stand close together, no hands touched. His father stared off in the distance staring at the driveway.
Did he want this from his life? To have a stuck-up old fish as a wife and forever to want someone else?
He swigged his whisky and stared at his friends when Wayne came back. Opal was being introduced to a man older than she. He recognised him as Charles Clarke, another man from his parents’ society.
Another glass of whisky was swung back.
This would be his life without Scarlet.
Chapter Twelve
On Monday morning, Richard watched from his office as Scarlet gathered her belongings. A few of the other office workers came to wish her goodbye. She smiled at them and continued to gather her things. He couldn’t watch this. With every item she placed in the brown boxes a punch landed directly over his heart.
He fucking hated this. Erratic fingers ran through his hair, and he watched her fish out her keys and come to his office.
She didn’t look at him or say any words as the keys to the files and office landed on his desk.
“Please, don’t go,” he asked. He’d promised himself while he fought for sleep last night he wouldn’t beg or plead for her to stay. The thought of losing her wasn’t as powerful as physically watching her leave.
How could he cope without seeing her every morning? Take away all the sex and everything he’d forced on her, and his life wouldn’t be worth living. Very dramatic for a man of his age and his standing. Being alone he could deal with, as long as he could see Scarlet every day. Ever since she’d begun working for them, he’d lived his life begging for the next smile or touch.
Without even realising it, Richard had fallen in love with her long before last week. Opal adored her, and his friends enjoyed her company. He was fucking worse than David Buttons. He’d forced her and used her body’s responses against her.
“I don’t want to stay,” she whispered.
“I’m begging you. Please stay.”
“You’ll get over it soon.” She turned to leave, and he grabbed her wrist stopping her. “People will see,” she said to him.
“I don’t give a fuck what people can see. I’m so fucking sorry. Please, don’t go.” With her hand still in his he walked round the desk in front of her and went to his knees. He didn’t care about the stares or what people would think. Scarlet, the beautiful woman before him, she was the only thing that mattered to him.
“Don’t do this, Richard.”
Her hand shook inside his. “Marry me,” he asked.
Scarlet grasped and pulled out of his touch. “Don’t do that. You didn’t want me, remember? You wanted a week. That’s all you wanted from me. You contracted the damn thing. You made me feel like a whore.”
Her voice remained level, but the tears falling from her eyes weren’t anything other than hurt.
“I tore up the damn contract. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I told Lily, and she opened—”
“You told Lily? How could you do that? She didn’t know about our little arrangement. How could you have embarrassed me like that? You promised me it would stay between us.” Richard got to his feet and went to her. Desperation was clawing at him to keep her. He cupped her cheeks in his hands. He saw the hatred shining out at him, and before he stopped himself, he kissed her.
She struggled beneath him but soon wound her hands around his neck. A sweet victory for him.
Scarlet had to love him. His pleasure was short-lived as she pulled out of his hold. “You got the last bit of me. Now let me go.”
Richard tried to focus his thoughts. She was at his door and about to leave his world forever. “The last time we were together I didn’t use anything? You could be pregnant.” Not using anything had been a genuine mistake.
“You did it on purpose?” she asked.
He didn’t know what the best answer would be. “No. I wanted to be with you and inside you so damn bad, protection slipped my mind. I’m sorry.” He decided the truth would be best in this situation.
She turned back, and the hurt on her face was worse than anything he’d seen thus far.
“I asked one thing from you. I asked you to protect me from that, and you didn’t.”
“I know. What are you going to do?” he asked.
Her complexion was pale, and her entire body was shaking.
“As I’m sure you remember I’m used to taking care of other men’s messes.” The punch to the gut doubled him over. He stood and watched her gather her things and leave his life forever.
She’d asked one thing of him, and he’d fucked up. Maybe she could have forgiven him for the contract, but forcing a baby on her? Could she ever find it in her heart to forgive him?
Richard didn’t know how long he stood watching the empty space. Eventually his friends Wayne and Tony came in. One of his partners had
called his closest friends to help him.
“Come on, man,” Tony said, and together they helped him out of the building.
Richard went with them to his apartment. He ignored them and went straight for his strongest whisky. He pouted himself a generous glass and slung the whole shot to the back of his throat, the burn a welcome pain. He poured another glass and took it back.
“You got me back to my place. I suggest you leave,” he said.
“We’re not leaving,” they both said in unison.
“Why? I’m a fucking bastard who fucked up. You know,” he turned to Wayne. “I criticised you for pulling that pre-nup on Lily? I pulled a contract of my own out of the bag.” The strong drink was going straight to his head. “I forced her to sign a contract, so I could fuck her. How shit is that.”
“Richard, I don’t think you should be drinking.”
“You don’t know what I need. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be me? My dad reckons the woman you want is for mistress material while the woman you hate is wife material. Shall I get Scarlet to be my mistress?”
Wayne went over to him and grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “Listen, you’re a better man that your father. You always have been and always will be. So you fucked up. Either dwell on it and deal with the fact you’ve lost Scarlet, or you get up and you fight for the woman you love.”
Tears fell from his eyes, Richard never cried, but he felt them cascading down his cheeks, evidence of his weakened state of mind.
“Do you love her?” Tony asked.
“With my whole heart.” Richard broke down in front of his friends, the sobs shaking his whole body. He cried for the woman he loved and for the unfairness of life. The way his parents had controlled him to care what society thought of him.
After some time he saw his friends out with the promise they kept his emotions a secret. They did this. He recalled opening his door to a young Wayne as he’d taken a beating from his father and holding him while he cried to sleep. Richard had run to Tony when his parents wanted to send him to boarding school. The three friends who refused to allow the burdens of their parents to drive them apart.
So much had gone on among them. He loved them like brothers. When he was once again alone in his apartment he went to his safe and stared at the diamond encrusted dolphin. His heart and his life were laid in the woman who’d wear this ring. Richard picked it up and phoned the estate agent. He wanted to take charge of his own life. For the first time he was going to live it the way he wanted. The penthouse was going.
Chapter Thirteen
Richard went home to the place he had grown up. The house looked so harmless on the outside. He parked his car and stared at the house most people would dream about living in.
On the side of the house a basketball hoop lay. His mother had wanted it for decoration to show the neighbourhood they had children. Richard remembered when he, Wayne, and Tony had started playing ball. His mum had come out yelling and cursing at them. Once inside she popped the ball in front of them all and said they didn’t need to act like hooligans.
How could he have left Opal to all of this? She ran out of the house as soon as she saw his car. His mother was not far behind.
“Don’t run, Opal. You know it’s not ladylike,” she called.
Opal stopped, and his heart broke. She was already being designed into the perfect ideal daughter, not the person she was meant to be.
She stood in front of him and took his hand. “How are you doing, brother?”
“Don’t do that, Opal. Don’t let her break who you’re going to be.” He placed his arms around her shoulders, and they walked up to the house together. “Where’s dad?”
“In his office. Where else would he be?” his mother said.
“I couldn’t imagine why.” He went past her up to his old room.
Richard opened the door and the past. His bedroom looked spotless as if no one ever lived inside. A few trophies dotted the walls. Books from law school and certificates of his achievements. On the mirror pictures of his friends and Opal were placed at odd angles.
He frowned when he glanced at one with an old nanny he couldn’t recall what had happened to. Richard picked the picture off the glass. The woman had red hair, and she smiled down at him. What caught his attention in the photo wasn’t the woman, but the hand on the shoulder of the woman.
Looking closer he saw his father standing directly behind the woman. His dad had a hand on the woman’s shoulder, and his nanny had her own placed over his fathers.
Richard thought of his parents’ anniversary and of Wayne and Lily. He even thought about his time spent with Scarlet. People who cared about each other and loved each other. They couldn’t help but touch.
“You’d just won a football game in that picture,” his dad said from the doorway.
“I remember,” Richard recalled the game, but he couldn’t recall the woman in the picture. “Who’s the woman in the picture?”
“Woman? Oh, her name was Natasha, I think. Nice girl.” His dad looked uncomfortable. “Your mother said you were here.”
“So I am.”
“You haven’t been here in years.”
Richard stared at the picture. “Why are you lying?” he asked. Never before had he pulled his dad up on a lie.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really?” He was tired of the lies. Thirty plus years, a grown man he didn’t need to be protected anymore. Richard slammed the picture in his father’s hand. “Because the last time I checked you’ve never looked so fucking happy in any of the pictures with my mother. What was it you once said to me? Keep the woman you want as a mistress? So I’ll ask you again. Who is she?”
“You clearly are in a bad mood and looking for a fight, so I’m going—”
“No. You’re fucking not. For too long you’ve left me in the dark. Who is this woman?”
Richard knew he wasn’t getting though, and his dad turned to leave. “I’m going to marry the woman I love. Her name’s Scarlet Hughes. She’s amazing and has a son whom I love.”
His dad stopped at the door, his hand out to grasp the handle. “Your mother would never accept it.”
“Do you think I give a fuck what she thinks?”
“Didn’t you listen to anything I’ve told you?”
Richard stared at the man he’d listened to his whole young life, the man whose rules he’d followed without question.
“I listened, and I ended up a miserable old bastard like you. If I keep listening to your wonderful advice I’ll be married to someone I can’t stand and wish to constantly be anywhere but at home. Isn’t that what you do? You’re with us, but you really want to be with her?”
For minutes Richard waited, but when his dad didn’t say anything he gave up. “Forget it,” he told him and went to walk out of the room.
His dad grabbed him and shut the door.
“I was already married to your mother, and you were born. I did it because my parents told me to marry her. I don’t know what happened along the way, but we went from completely earning our keep to marrying into more and more money. It’s why the Shaw name is as powerful as it is today. Natasha Glass was the first and only nanny we employed for you.”
Richard stood and waited.
“She was so beautiful and happy all the time. You were always happy. She used to sing and cook. I found I enjoyed coming home and got distracted at work easily thinking about her. I fell in love with her within weeks of her being here. The job was a live-in, and one day I walked into her bathroom. She was naked, and I couldn’t turn away.”
His dad was visibly shaking. “My life had turned into visions of her. She told me to get out, and then one night one thing led to another; and we became lovers. Natasha hated it. She hated the fact I was married, but she didn’t want me to divorce your mother. I was stuck. Of course your mum found out and made her life a fucking misery.”
“She lives in a house in the country, and I vi
sit her as regularly as I can.”
“You’re a fucking coward,” Richard said. “To think I believed everything that came out of your mouth. Natasha deserves a man who isn’t afraid to cut the shit and admit he wanted someone much better.”
He charged out of the house without looking back. Moving forward to confess and find the love of his life.
Richard had fucked up once. Scarlet and Harry Hughes were his, and he wouldn’t let them go again.
Chapter Fourteen
“I was wondering if you could tell me where Scarlet Hughes is?” Richard asked the man behind the counter.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
He stood in a hotel reception in another city far away from where he lived. Richard couldn’t believe how easily she’d upped and moved from the area. It broke his heart to think he’d caused her to move so far away. He didn’t like to think of how he’d bribed this information out of John Barnes. Only because Richard had promised to bring her back home did John allow him to know she worked at this fucking hotel. He hated the look of the place on sight. His parents came to eat regularly here. “Look, I know you’re not used to men coming here, but I swear I only want to talk to her.”
“Scarlet Hughes requested for privacy. I can’t give any information about her. I suggest you go and eat a nice, cozy meal. John is a friend of mine.” The man glanced behind him.
Richard frowned at his choice of words. Giving up, he walked into the restaurant and decided to at least drown his sorrows in a whisky bottle.
Contract of Shame Page 9
