by Layla Hagen
"I'm a sick man; have some mercy." He was smiling against my skin.
On I went with my fake chastising. "You're a sick man taking advantage. I feel compelled to point that out. How will you learn otherwise?"
He pulled back a notch, wiggling his eyebrows. "I'm blissfully happy in my ignorance."
"Are you sure you're up for the party tonight?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm feeling much better. I was only messing with you."
"Is that so?" I crushed my mouth to his, taking what I wanted. When I pulled back, all my lady parts tingled at his lusty expression. But we were on a tight schedule if we wanted to make it to the party. "We should get ready."
Besides, I had great plans for us after the party. We had my house all to ourselves... and I hadn't just bought a fancy new dress. What I was going to wear underneath the dress was equally enticing.
A short while later, I stepped out of the bathroom, dressed to the nines. I was wearing a green wraparound dress, with pearls at my ears and around my neck. I'd styled my hair in loose curls. Graham looked as if he wanted to eat me up.
"Fuck, you're beautiful, Lori."
"Thank you." I twirled around once, observing him coming closer out the corner of my eye. He hadn't dressed up yet, so he was only wearing boxers. That left so much skin on display. He circled my waist with his arms.
"Graham, we're supposed to be at the party in half an hour."
"Change of plans." Bringing his mouth to my ear, he whispered, "I'm thinking me inside you, loving you until you come hard."
I bit lightly into his shoulder when he bunched my dress up, trying to maintain my composure. He blew out a breath when he touched the lacy end of my stocking. Then he groaned when he realized I had no panties.
"I planned to surprise you after the party," I said coyly.
"You're not wearing panties."
"Something for you to keep in mind tonight. The dress is tight, no chance of flashing anyone the goods. But... you have to get dressed now."
His eyes flashed with mischief, and I knew he wasn't going to let me off the hook.
Half an hour later, we were officially late already.
"We messed up my hair," I called from the bathroom while he was suiting up. When I came out, hair styled again, he smirked.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "My lips are swollen."
"It's a great look on you."
I glared. He bit back a laugh.
"You look like you've been thoroughly kissed. Only you and I will know where those lips have been. Everyone else will just know you're mine."
I sent him an air kiss. "Why, you think one of those smoking hot players might hit on me otherwise?"
"They won't if they know what's good for them."
"I still have to refresh my makeup."
"I'll wait for you downstairs and call Nana in the meantime."
When I descended the staircase a short while later, I could sense the change in mood before even seeing Graham pace around the living room. There were deep frown lines on his forehead, and he kept shaking his head, as if he was having a silent conversation with himself.
"Graham, did anything happen?"
He stopped midstride, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Talked to Nana."
"Is she okay? She didn't seem sick when I talked to her."
"She's not sick." He started pacing again, rubbing one hand down his face. His shoulders looked stiff, as if a lot of tension had accumulated there in a short period of time. "My dad called her. He's in a financial shit-hole again and asked if she could bail him out."
"Oh!" I was too stunned to say anything else.
"He didn't tell me anything about it when I talked to him." Graham paced the room some more but didn't offer more information.
"You still want to go to the party?" I asked.
"I can't bail on it. We should go or we'll miss the dinner altogether."
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lori
The restaurant was near Hancock Park, and we drove through a section on Windsor Boulevard lined with gigantic palm trees that were roughly four times taller than the nearby lampposts. I spotted the Hollywood sign in the distance.
Everyone was already at the restaurant when we arrived. Since the event was private, we had the place to ourselves. I felt like we were in an open space, what with the glass walls and ceiling, and all the greenery outdoors.
"Let's introduce you to everyone." Graham offered me his arm as we walked in. I gladly took it, snaking my arm around his elbow. My man was still tense, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it right now.
The management was sitting at one large table, the players at two others. They all rose to their feet as Graham introduced me. Some were here with girlfriends, but most were solo. Amber was here with Matt. I hugged them both. I hadn't seen them since the wedding and her baby bump was visible now.
"You look great. Married life suits you," I said.
"Won't complain. Do you organize baby showers?"
"Of course I do."
"I'll pick your brain later on." She rubbed her belly. I wanted to chat with her more, but we still had to finish the introduction round.
"Hey, I think I know this one," I said when we reached Jace.
My brother stroked his chin. "Could be we share a last name?"
I grinned as he kissed my cheek.
"Jace, why didn't you introduce us before? I'd have scooped her up before Graham did," one of his teammates said.
"That's Gaston. Ignore him. We all do," Jace explained.
Gaston opened his mouth, but promptly closed it when Graham glared at him. I could tell the guys enjoyed getting a rise out of Graham. Our seats were at the management table, but everyone mingled, especially since it was an open buffet. Graham didn't relax all evening.
If anything, he seemed to become tenser as hours went by. It was all there, in his body language. The stiffness in his shoulders took hold of his neck too. Whenever I caught his eye, all I got were strained smiles.
I ate pastrami, crab cakes, and a finely diced tomatoes and cucumbers salad with lime juice. Dessert was the highlight, though. Jace came up to me when I was loading a second serving of cheesecake on my plate.
"The chef here deserves a hug. This cheesecake is the best," I said.
Jace shook his head mockingly. "Easy on the compliments or I'll tell Val."
"You will do no such thing. Unless you want your coach to know you routinely ignore your food plan."
"You wouldn't do that."
"Try me." I bumped his shoulder.
"Sisters. They sabotage even the best laid plans."
"And we take that role seriously. I'm proud of you, Jace." I had no clue in how many more ways I could show him that before it went to his head. He was the team's most valuable player, and had been celebrated tonight as such. That required a lot of work and dedication.
A pretty blonde waitress came up to us, carrying a glass on her tray. "Mr. Connor, I have your special order here. Should I bring it to your table?"
Jace shook his head, picking up the glass. "Thanks."
"Is there anything else I can get you?" She sounded a little breathless.
"No, that’s all." Poor woman had stars in her eyes. Jace was doing what he'd done since he was a teen—charming the opposite sex. I'd realized that smile would be trouble ever since my high school friends had blushed around him, despite the age difference. That smile had grown even more dangerous after Jace became aware of its effect.
"Question: why is there dessert here if all the players are on a strict meal plan?" I asked after she left.
"Because everyone else isn't? Amber arranged this. She likes to torture us."
"Oooh, I forgot to give her my thanks for that calendar. Best idea she's had."
"Please don't. That'll just give her more ideas."
"That's the point."
Jace sipped from his glass, then took a deep breath. "I meant to ask: did Jeff bother you again?"
/> "No, not at all. Not even my lawyer heard from him."
"Graham must have scared him good when he showed at the club."
I tightened the grip on my plate, suddenly feeling like the last bit of cake I'd swallowed was crawling up my throat. "Jeff came to the club?"
"You didn't know?"
"No, Graham didn't mention it. When was that?"
"About two weeks ago. Graham was in a mood afterward. Seemed out of it for a couple of days."
What was happening? Why hadn't he brought this up? And why the hell would Jeff bother Graham? I glanced around, searching for Graham, and found him talking with a player on the other side of the room. My stomach shrunk to a tight knot. Why hadn't he told me anything? Had Jeff's visit upset him that much? Maybe I hadn't imagined Graham's unease these past weeks. After Jace's teammates pulled him away, Amber and I talked about the baby shower, but I couldn't focus on planning anything. I wished this evening would come to an end faster.
Graham was still tense when we climbed in his car and drove off. The conversation with Nana had clearly rattled him, but I wished he'd talk to me about it. Whatever it was, we could work through it together. And even if there wasn't anything to work through, I wanted him to know he could talk to me.
During the drive, I kept wringing my hands in my lap, trying to decide on the best angle to tackle this. I was completely out of sorts. When we pulled in front of my house, Graham didn't turn off the engine. It was dark outside, and in the dim yellowish light cast by the lampposts, I couldn't make out his expression.
"I'm going to head to my place this evening. I'm not in the right headspace right now."
My stomach bottomed out. He thought that was the solution?
"I thought we were at the point where we could talk things out, no matter what they were. Don't close yourself off to me. Talk to me."
Graham bristled. I bit the inside of my cheek. Damn, that came out different than I'd intended. My tone was almost accusatory.
"Not much to say. I still have to figure out what to do."
I took in his body language. Shoulders hunched, head hung. I wanted to comfort him, but he didn't seem to want that. I wasn't going to let him pull away, though. I didn't want that kind of dynamic in our relationship. It wasn't healthy. Besides, he'd been the one who'd pushed me to share things with him until now. Why wasn't he reciprocating?
Since I had no idea how to tackle the issue with his dad, I switched gears.
"Jace told me Jeff stopped by the club two weeks ago. What was that about?"
I wanted to get to the bottom of this.
Graham straightened up in his seat. "I meant to tell you about that, but then I thought there was no point anyway."
"But what did he want?"
"Money."
"What?" Goddamn it! I couldn't believe Jeff. That was why I hadn't heard a word. My previous anxiety morphed into anger. That moron.
"He showed up saying that he'd be making a nuisance of himself if I didn't give him money, so I wrote him a check."
"Graham, that's... wow. That you'd do that for Milo, and for me... I'm grateful." I was stunned and humbled, but the whole thing didn't sit well with me. "But, I'd like us to talk about these things before making a decision. You can't decide on your own when the ramifications might affect me, and especially Milo. It doesn't work this way. I don't think that giving Jeff what he wanted was smart. He might come back for more."
"Can't seem to do anything right, can I?" He sounded pissed off, which instantly pissed me off too.
"That's not what I mean. I just don't like the lack of communication."
"I didn't want you to have to deal with him again. That meeting with him lasted less than an hour and you were upset for days."
"So the solution was to push me out? Like you're doing now? Is this how it's always going to be?"
"The two things aren't related. I was ... I wanted to spare you another unpleasant conversation. If you can't understand why I'd do that, maybe you don't feel as strongly for me as I thought."
What? How is this conversation getting so out of control?
"I understand that the conversation with your nana has you out of sorts, but I'm here for you."
Graham rubbed his hands up and down his face, as if he was losing his patience. Then he gripped the steering wheel. "I keep thinking the old man will pull himself together, grow up. He's sixty. Scares me to even think we're related."
"You're nothing like him. You've been great to Milo, and to me."
"What’s to say I won't screw up in the future?" He leaned his head back against the headrest, frowning at the windshield. I went very still, feeling as if someone was pulling the rug from under me.
"So, what? You think it's better if you don't try?" I ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm down and be rational. But I felt more irrational with every second. "Is this...too much for you?"
Graham turned to face me abruptly. "That's not what I'm saying."
"But is this what you actually mean?" Had it all become too much for him? Was it the thing with Jeff? Was the strangeness in the last two weeks because he had second thoughts about being in our lives?
No, those were crazy thoughts. I was just reeling because I was afraid of losing him. I had to keep it together.
"This isn't about you or Milo. Lori, you've got this all wrong," he insisted. My chest constricted instantly. Was he about to give me an it’s-not-you-it’s me speech, or was fear clouding my judgement?
"Let me explain," he continued.
I wasn't equipped to have this conversation right now. I wasn’t rational, and I didn’t want to overthink every word he would say. I needed to be on my own to process everything. I was so riled up that I couldn't think straight, let alone carry a conversation.
I shook my head and cleared my throat. "No need." He motioned to turn off the engine, but I held my hand up. "Don't. I want to be alone."
"Lori, you need to calm down."
He definitely wasn't calm either.
"Don't patronize me," I said.
"I wasn't—okay, you know what? Clearly, neither of us is rational right now."
"I agree. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
I climbed out of the car and walked to the house without looking over my shoulder. Once inside, I peeked out the window. Three seconds later, he drove away. I released a long breath. What just happened?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lori
I couldn't stand still. I put on my jogging gear and went for a run, starting through the quiet streets of the neighborhood, then taking a detour in the nearest park, which was bustling with activity even this late in the evening. I didn't feel at peace anywhere. When I was alone, I wanted to be with people, and when I was surrounded by a crowd, I wanted to be alone.
Once I was back in my house, I showered. Damn it, I still had too much energy, so I did something I rarely did: I cleaned up the entire place. Not just your run-of-the mill sweep. I went at it with full speed, scrubbing every corner, even moving furniture around. The tears came midway through the cleaning process. I tried keeping them at bay, but the effort was taking its toll, so I let go.
While I was cleaning the rift between the kitchen tiles with a toothbrush, my thoughts flew to the breakup with Jeff all those years ago. I was two months pregnant, and he told me we had to talk. He was jittery, but he'd been so ever since I'd found out, so I didn't think much of it. I was nervous about the whole thing too, so I understood. Then he broke the news to me, that he was leaving me and the baby. He'd thought about it for weeks, and it was just too much responsibility for him. He wanted to become a doctor. He couldn't let this get in the way of his career. I pointed out that I'd already given up on med school, and I hadn't asked him to give up too.
"There will still be sleepless nights, Lori. Babies cry. They get sick. They need you all the time. I need to focus on school one hundred percent."
"You're an insensitive jackass," I said numbly.
&nbs
p; "I can't do it. It's too much."
He'd thrown my entire life off course that afternoon. I couldn't believe he'd asked Graham for money. The bastard. I was going to find him and shove that check up his ass. He'd probably cashed it, but I was confident I could find something else to shove up there instead. But that wouldn't make the other matter any better. The question remained... had it all been too much for Graham? I pressed three fingers to my collarbone, trying to alleviate the pressure there. It felt like my chest was strung together in a knot that grew tighter by the hour.
By the time I finished cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room, I was exhausted and fell asleep fully clothed. But my sleep was restless, and I woke up as if I hadn't gone to bed at all. After a cup of coffee, I resumed project clean the hell out of this house. I had the one bedroom and all hallways left.
My mood was even grimmer than yesterday, and the quiet was closing in on me. I wasn't used to being alone. I grew up in a full house, and as a mother, I'd rarely had "alone" moments. Twice, I almost called my sisters, then changed my mind. I wasn't sure what to tell them, mostly because I couldn't make sense of everything myself. Sister telepathy had to be a thing though, because Hailey called around lunchtime. I was perched on a ladder, sweeping dust from the corners of the ceiling.
"Hey, sis. What are you up to?" she asked.
"Cleaning my house."
After a brief pause, Hailey asked, "Is the apocalypse coming?"
"Hey! I've been known to clean the house... once in a while."
"Usually when you have a shitty week. Wanna tell me what's wrong?"
I descended the ladder, sitting on the last rung and hugging my knees. "Graham and I had a fight last night."
"I'm listening."
"It's all fuzzy in my mind, honestly."
"And maybe it'll all be clearer if you lay it out to me."
My Hailey, always with that sharp, analytical mind of hers.
"Okay, well... I think I felt that something has been off for a few weeks." I went on to tell her about Graham's encounter with Jeff, and the problem with his dad. I finished with all the crazy words we'd said last night.
