by Maren Smith
“What about in the bedroom?”
My pussy clenched like he stroked it with his tongue, and I tried to send kill signals, as if my arousal could be turned off.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you like to tell your partner what to do when you're having sex?”
“I don't think so.”
“You don't have to answer this question, but you just got out of your relationship a few days ago. Can't you remember if you liked to order him around in bed or not?”
“Uh, well.” I dropped my head and willed the tears away, but they fell until my vision blurred. I burrowed deeper into the cushions, hiding away from his line of sight.
“Oh, little fawn.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, tugging me out of the corner I'd been trying to bury myself in. “Come here.”
“My ex-boyfriend stopped touching me a few years ago.” I tried to hold back any emotion from my statement but failed. “So, uh, that's why I don't remember.”
“I wasn't trying to pry, but it sounds like the two of you haven't been on the same page in quite a while.” Fabian handed me a box of tissues and I wiped my nose.
“You don't have to comfort me. In a couple days, I'll be gone.” I brushed my eyes with the back of my hand.
“A week.”
“Yeah, a week or whatever.” A few stray tears slipped down my cheeks. “I currently make all the decisions in my life. I always have, and it's exhausting.”
“So, you don’t want to think in an intimate situation?”
“No, as long as I agreed to what was happening, I don’t want to make decisions.”
“What else has been on your mind this morning?”
“You have been so hospitable and charming and just amazing by opening up your home to me, and I haven't been acting grateful.”
“Hm.” His normally cobalt blue eyes darkened as he studied me. “What are you getting at?”
“Would the methods you mentioned before help me listen and adjust my gratitude meter?”
“Yes, but I shouldn’t have mentioned it. You came out here this morning in an entirely different mood than last night, and then you threw a tantrum.”
I pouted. Shit. He was bringing out some other side of me. Did I have an actual Little side? It sure felt like it. I enjoyed lots of things deemed childish by others, like coloring, making crafts, and kid games, but I hadn't explored it much. Everything about a dynamic involving me being a Little appealed to me. Fabian sure sounded like a Daddy Dom. Butterflies did swan dives in my stomach as I stared at him.
“I didn't throw a tantrum.”
“We don't have to argue over semantics. What happened last night? I want a well-thought-out answer, Hadley.”
“I accidentally stumbled into your closet.”
“You could have just told me why you wanted to leave.” Fabian moved his arm, and I missed his warmth. “I can lock the door to the closet if the sight bothered you. If you're concerned about your safety, you can lock my bedroom from the inside.”
“I can't stop thinking about the paddles.”
“In what sort of way?”
“The best sort of way.” I snorted. “Duh.”
“You've been thinking about me using them on you.”
“Maybe.” It wasn't a question. No, he was gauging my interest. “Unless I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
“We don't know each other very well yet. If I launched into a conversation about paddles and handcuffs, I'm quite certain you would have bolted.”
“I couldn't fall asleep afterwards.” I played with my hot little nub until I came hard thinking about all the things he would do to me once I confessed to him how I found his array of implements. “I did some naughty things in your bed.”
“Did you?” He rubbed his chin. “Tell me.”
“I fantasized about stuff.” Heat rose to my cheeks, and I bit down on my lip. “In my fantasy, at breakfast this morning, I dropped one of those sexy leather paddles on the kitchen table and bent myself over at the waist while begging for your forgiveness.” My panties dampened. Telling him about my dirty thoughts aroused the fuck out of me.
“What rule did you break, sweetheart?”
“Yo-you had sent me to bed early because rest is important when you're healing. Instead of doing that, I stayed up late reading dirty books on my Kindle.”
“That would be very naughty indeed.” His tone turned huskier. “What else did you do?”
“I played with myself, imagining your fingers inside of me, strumming all my sexy spots.”
“Is that the end of your fantasy?”
“No, while you fingered me you spanked my ass until it was hot and denied me an orgasm since I broke the rules.” I blew out a breath. “The images in my head, thinking of all of those things, got me hot and bothered.”
Fabian arranged himself against the cushions and I wondered if he was hard. The movement made me want to stroke his cock and take it into my mouth. He was a virtual stranger still, and yet I was more turned on by the idea of him doing those things than I ever had been by Rob in all the years we were together.
“Well, after punishing you I'd stick you in the corner until you thought long and hard about what you had done. Once you learned your lesson, I'd spend the rest of the night richly rewarding you.”
I nodded as if it were the most logical conclusion in the world.
“Oh,” I squeaked. “Lucky me.”
“Have you been searching for someone to set rules for you? A dedicated bedtime, for example, maybe a block of time where you don't have to make decisions or worry about more adult matters? Enjoying books and actually living the dynamic are a bit different.”
My Kindle held tons of books about the exact dynamic we were skating around. Age-play. Daddies who punished as much as they adored their Littles. BDSM and all of its offshoots. Spanking. But, is that what I wanted in a real relationship?
“I've thought about it before, but I've never explored it.”
“I have explored it. Lived it. My last relationship was with a woman who said she wanted to live in a submissive lifestyle twenty-four seven. It’s been about a year or so since we broke up.”
“Was she your little girl too?” I held my breath as he processed the potential repercussions of his answer. He took my hand and held it in both of his. “If it's too personal of a question, you don't have to answer me.”
“She pretended to be my little girl, Hadley, but while she enjoyed the fun parts of dressing up and being taken care of, she refused to follow any rules. Rules crafted to help her meet goals, mind you, ones she begged for me to fashion. She wanted more sugar daddy than Daddy Dom. There is nothing wrong with that sort of arrangement, but it wasn't what I wanted. When it came to actual punishments, she did not take the correction well and lashed out even more. She said very hurtful things and called me terrible names. I have a thick skin, little fawn, but we had come up with those parameters together. Our relationship didn't last long.”
“Someone who really wants rules usually follows them, right?”
“Most of the time.” His eyes twinkled as they studied mine. “I understand the difference between pushing against the rules and boundaries to see if I'd follow through versus deliberately flaunting my authority.”
I shivered at the delicious dominance in his tone. How had I not seen it from the moment he'd walked into my life? To be fair, I'd been wrapped up in the sweetest husky I'd ever met and sprawled out on the ground.
“It was rather naughty of me to keep the information a secret. Instead of talking to you about it, I got stressed.”
“I won't punish you for breaking a rule that wasn't in place.” Zeus whined and Fabian glanced over at him. “What do you hear, boy?”
Thunder clapped outside, followed by a huge crack of lightning a few seconds later. I catapulted myself into Fabian's lap and wrapped my hands around his neck, pressing my face into his chest.
“I'm scared of storms. Last night it didn't
get so loud.”
“It's not close, sweetheart, and we're safe in my cabin. I've got a generator in case the power goes out, and a backup.”
He rubbed my back and for the first time in forever, I felt like somebody actually saw the real me and cared about my needs. I looked up into his face. His eyes were so captivating I could stare into them for hours.
“Sorry for being a scaredy-cat.”
“Please don't feel you need to apologize for being afraid of something.”
Fabian held me, allowing me to calm down. We had more intimacy in a day than Rob and I had during our entire relationship. I loved snuggling on him, his arms around me made me feel protected and cherished. It scared me almost as much as the howling winds outside. Don't get attached! You'll be gone in a few days. Back to my regular job and mundane routine. Staying out here with Fabian, in his cabin with him and Zeus, sounded much more appealing.
“Thank you for rescuing me last night. I haven't said it enough.”
“Once is enough, little fawn. Do you want some cocoa instead of coffee?”
“Yes, please.”
He slid me off his lap and went off to make hot chocolate. I wondered if he had marshmallows.
“Do you have any games?” I called into the kitchen.
He returned carrying his coffee along with a glittery lilac colored mug piled with whipped cream and pink sprinkles. My heart fluttered at the sight and I accepted it with a smile.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He took a sip from his mug. “You asked about games? Yeah, I’ve got Scrabble, Trionimos, Chutes and Ladders, Boggle, Clue, Trouble, Yahtzee, Pictionary. I might have a few more, along with Uno and a regular deck of cards.”
“Can we play Chutes and Ladders?”
“Of course, but I'm very competitive.” He winked.
“I could beat you with one hand behind my back.”
“So could I.”
His tone flipped my tummy. He wasn't just talking about games. I loved how he had slipped a few younger games in between adult ones. I was about to be bold for the first time in a long time.
“You want to make a bet?”
“Yes, but are you sure you want to challenge me, Hadley?”
“Yup.” I stuck my hand out to him. “Let's shake on it.”
“What do you want if you win?”
“A spanking.” I yanked my hand back, mortified at how easily the request tumbled out of my mouth, but he caught it in his and shook it. “Hey! No fair. I didn't mean that.”
“It sure sounded like you did.” Fabian tapped my nose. “I'll give you one chance to change your reply.”
“When I win you take your room back. Your bed is super comfortable, but I feel guilty. You already saved me from the wilderness, it's ridiculous to steal your bed too.”
“You'll be staying in my room until you're well enough to walk down the stairs by yourself. I won't have you toppling head over teacup down the steps in the middle of the night.” He crossed his arms. “You aren't inconveniencing me, Hadley. I don't mind sharing my resources or my bed with someone who could use a little extra TLC right now.”
“I was supposed to be partying, getting drunk with a bunch of strangers, but this is much better.”
“Being trapped in the middle of nowhere with a bum foot is better than your first night of vacation? You don't get out much.”
“Ha ha.” I rolled my eyes. “Okay, when I win you have to let me make this up to you somehow.”
“I'll concede but only because I'm going to win, and when I do, you're going to tell me which paddle intrigued you the most. After you do that, I'm going to spank your ass until it's hot and pink. Deal?”
“Chutes and Ladders is my jam. I'll accept your bet, but you're going to lose.”
“Big words for someone who's going to have trouble sitting down later.”
“You're on!”
We stretched out on our stomachs in front of the fireplace, playing round after round of the silly board game and it was the most fun I'd ever had.
“Best out of ten?” I hopefully inquired.
Fabian had won the tiebreaker seventh round of our epic Chutes and Ladders game. It wasn't looking good for my poor behind, but the thought aroused me and firmly planted me in a more adult mindset again. Playing a board game with him had felt so freeing, I hardly wanted to stop, but if he were going to collect on our bet, it would be a damn good reason to pause.
“Nope. I won four out of seven fair and square. Time to pay the piper.”
“What if I distract you?”
“You're welcome to try, but you can't walk right now. I can literally pick you up and bring you wherever I want.”
“Do you really want to spank me or were you just trying to be nice?”
“So many questions.” He smiled as he shut the box on the board game and set it on the coffee table. “Answer a few for me.”
“Sure thing.”
“Have you ever been spanked before?”
“Yes, but not in a long time.”
“Do you ever think about it?”
“Yeah.”
“I think about it too, Hadley. Giving someone what they want brings me immense pleasure. I'm not a sadist but the reactions and bonding that go along with the connection are fulfilling.”
“Right, but do you really want to spank me?”
“Yes, but you can stop me at any time.” Fabian lifted me up, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him, facing him. Those damn butterflies returned and swarmed my stomach as we headed up the steps toward his room.
Chapter Three
My heart pounded loudly in my ears as Fabian flipped the light to his closet on and stepped inside.
“Show me which ones caught your attention, Hadley.”
“The one with the pretty purple strips.”
“My flogger. Yeah, the falls can feel like either a heavy massage or a biting sting depending on the width, length, and material. Good choice. What else were you looking at?”
“There was a little heart shaped one somewhere.”
“Mm.” Fabian walked further into the closet and scanned the collection. He plucked the thick purple paddle off the wall. “This is purpleheart wood. Looks are deceiving. It's heavy.” He adjusted me in his arms and selected two additional items, but I couldn't get a good look at them. “Leather is a lot more forgiving.”
I nodded, wrapped up in emotions as we exited into his bedroom. He sat me gently on the bed, but I wasn't sure what to do.
“I'm nervous.”
“This is for fun, little fawn, not for punishment. It would be a very different scenario if it were.” He tapped the center of the mattress. “Arrange yourself on your stomach so your head is facing the headboard and take off your pajama pants.”
My hands trembled as I removed the soft cotton lounge pants and shifted into the position he requested. Breathing deeply, I imagined for one moment what would happen after he delivered as promised.
“It's easier to swing these without restriction. Do you mind if I take off my shirt?”
“I don't mind.” I glanced over my shoulder as he peeled off the t-shirt revealing deliciously yummy abs and some badass tattoos, but what caught my eye were the raised silvery scars that crisscrossed his torso, disappeared into the top of his shorts, and reached around to his back. I wondered what sort of trauma he had encountered out in the field to earn such wicked badges of bravery, but I dared not ask him while he handled a paddle. There would be time for questions later. I returned to position and braced for the impact. Fabian ran his hand over the expanse of my ass and tapped his palm off the center. I arched up to meet the blows moving up onto all fours, and he tsked.
“Stay still, little fawn. I don't want to strike in the wrong place.”
“Yes, Sir.” Freaking hell. He hadn't asked me to use the title, and I'd never been with anyone worth using it on before. I threw my hands over my butt.
“Don't do that again or I could win
d up hitting your hands. You don't need an ace bandage on your wrist as well.”
“I'm sorry.” I blew out a breath. “I've never called anyone Sir and it's throwing my brain in circles.”
“Look at me, Hadley.”
I shifted around and sat up, while worrying my lip in between my teeth.
“You can call me whatever you feel comfortable with, as long as it's not disrespectful. Not trying to toot my own horn here, but that title seems to naturally fall out of submissive types around me.” He winked. “I take it as a compliment. Roll over and let's keep going.”
I nodded, now more at ease, and did as requested. He slapped my right cheek several times in fast succession with his hand and did the same on the other side. I groaned and did my best to stay in place. He increased the tempo, as well as the intensity, until the fullest part of my ass was warm with heat.
“May I take off your panties?” Fabian touched the waistband. “Purpleheart is a heavy wood and I don't want to land it near your tailbone. I can see better without any fabric in the way.”
“Yes.” I would have agreed to anything he asked me in such a position. My body hummed with arousal from his touches already and if he kept going on like this, I'd be dripping. Fabian danced the slip of lace down my thighs and all the way off my legs. He struck the lower curve of my ass and I groaned.
“You have such a beautiful body, Hadley.”
“Thank you.”
“Your ass is made for spanking.”
I giggled without reading too far into his words. It had been ages since anyone had complimented my body. Something impossibly hard suddenly landed on my left cheek.
“Ow.” It was so much thuddier than I imagined. “I don't love this one at all.”
“Try to trust me, little fawn. You will.”
Fabian rubbed the spot where the paddle kissed it and repeated his pattern. Thud. Rub. Thud. Rub. Thud. Thud. Switch to the right. Thud. Rub. My bottom burned from the onslaught, but he balanced the intensity with a rhythm that almost felt like a rough massage. He set the gorgeous wood paddle next to me.
“Okay, it got better,” I admitted with a sigh of content.
